Amy Mah's Blog, page 36
March 15, 2012
Having your pubic hair permed and Toilet Humour for Vampires
Toilet Humour for Vampires
I do so often worry that I am the only one to see the funny side of this strange world we live in.
Look as you know from my books and blogs
(Remember to always visit my lair at: http://www.fangsrule.com )
I am a Vampire Author and life is not all about biting people, no of course not it is all about Chocolate, anyway a human friend just invited me on a shopping trip, and what girl could say no to that, ok so it was going to be on the other side of the planet but heck so what its shopping therapy so its good for one.
But as I have said on other visits to SE Asia the major problem this vampire girl has is the plumbing ….eeeech ….so of it is like so primitive.
Talk about peeing in a hole in the ground.
And well the ones with running water have running water everywhere, making ¾ pants not a fashion item but the only way you can stop walking about with wet jean legs, the floors are wet….no the floors are soaking wet….. take a look at what the girls non Muslim girls wear and you will see it is shorts and a top.
Even the posh loos have the standard cold water hose pipe to stick between your legs instead of toilet tissue.
WARNING: Always carry a packet of tissues …..No toilet tissues in the cubicle and unless you are the sort of girl that goes about cleaned shaven (not a good idea if you have Chinese fur that makes you feel like a cactus unless done daily) it means you get wet but no in a nice way.
Wet Fur = Wet Panties …………….Wet Panties = Damp patches when you sit down
Look at the photo and tell me how you would be able to stick a orange hose pipe between your legs turn on the tap and not look to the world like you have failed to reach the toilet in time.
Heck waving a hose pipe about in a confined space it is lucky one does not end up with a wet bra as well as wet panties.
For the real posh we have a little pink hose pipe and flushing and very important a drain in the floor……
Yes you have guessed it the public ones do not always have floor drains which is why you have to paddle before you piddle.
Our first hotel was a shock
As the toilet had a control box and a little penis in the bowl, (well what would you call it?)and it should have come with a health warning unless you are the sort of girl that likes to be violated by a bathroom appliance ….I'm Not! ....I had to film it …see the power of that water jet hit the door!!!
Yes I did try it out my mistake……..well how was I to know it would do that ! and it was aimed at a delicate part of my body and it *!!#~** ing HURT !!!!!!!
I don't know about others but I think it is a contraceptive device as there you are sitting comfortably thinking how cute the bellboy was that nearly got a hernia carrying your cases up and after the blood curdling scream you let out in discovering what the switch does believe me sex is no longer on your mind.
As we moved about the next hotel we tried had a supper looking WC
And came with instructions as it had its own moving penis ………yes it did !!!!! yes it has a penis I kid you not take a look at the film I made and just guess where that little white pipe is travelling to… eeeeeeeeech
Perhaps it is just me and this is normal but never in my wildest fantasies have I ever wanted such a personal encounter …..and the water was Sooooooo Frigging COLD !!!!!!!
Now I am told that some in Japan come with hot air blowers ........wow........... now that is better a hair drier for a different location on the body
Ok Ok Ok why is it that it comes to my mind the idea of pubic hair styles can now include have a perm !!
While I am still getting over what I will need years of counselling to get over let me show you what is normal in a railway station.
fountain
No control on it ! talk about a fountain look at it ….just look at what it is doing on my next trip I an so going to try and learn to pee standing up I am sure I would get far less wet doing it the guy way.
Ho yes to finish off please take a look at my vampire book film trailer and please buy a copy as I will need to stock up on lots of paper tissues before having another shopping trip in SE Asia.
I do so often worry that I am the only one to see the funny side of this strange world we live in.
Look as you know from my books and blogs
(Remember to always visit my lair at: http://www.fangsrule.com )
I am a Vampire Author and life is not all about biting people, no of course not it is all about Chocolate, anyway a human friend just invited me on a shopping trip, and what girl could say no to that, ok so it was going to be on the other side of the planet but heck so what its shopping therapy so its good for one.
But as I have said on other visits to SE Asia the major problem this vampire girl has is the plumbing ….eeeech ….so of it is like so primitive.
Talk about peeing in a hole in the ground.
And well the ones with running water have running water everywhere, making ¾ pants not a fashion item but the only way you can stop walking about with wet jean legs, the floors are wet….no the floors are soaking wet….. take a look at what the girls non Muslim girls wear and you will see it is shorts and a top.
Even the posh loos have the standard cold water hose pipe to stick between your legs instead of toilet tissue.
WARNING: Always carry a packet of tissues …..No toilet tissues in the cubicle and unless you are the sort of girl that goes about cleaned shaven (not a good idea if you have Chinese fur that makes you feel like a cactus unless done daily) it means you get wet but no in a nice way.
Wet Fur = Wet Panties …………….Wet Panties = Damp patches when you sit down
Look at the photo and tell me how you would be able to stick a orange hose pipe between your legs turn on the tap and not look to the world like you have failed to reach the toilet in time.
Heck waving a hose pipe about in a confined space it is lucky one does not end up with a wet bra as well as wet panties.
For the real posh we have a little pink hose pipe and flushing and very important a drain in the floor……
Yes you have guessed it the public ones do not always have floor drains which is why you have to paddle before you piddle.
Our first hotel was a shock
As the toilet had a control box and a little penis in the bowl, (well what would you call it?)and it should have come with a health warning unless you are the sort of girl that likes to be violated by a bathroom appliance ….I'm Not! ....I had to film it …see the power of that water jet hit the door!!!
Yes I did try it out my mistake……..well how was I to know it would do that ! and it was aimed at a delicate part of my body and it *!!#~** ing HURT !!!!!!!
I don't know about others but I think it is a contraceptive device as there you are sitting comfortably thinking how cute the bellboy was that nearly got a hernia carrying your cases up and after the blood curdling scream you let out in discovering what the switch does believe me sex is no longer on your mind.
As we moved about the next hotel we tried had a supper looking WC
And came with instructions as it had its own moving penis ………yes it did !!!!! yes it has a penis I kid you not take a look at the film I made and just guess where that little white pipe is travelling to… eeeeeeeeech Perhaps it is just me and this is normal but never in my wildest fantasies have I ever wanted such a personal encounter …..and the water was Sooooooo Frigging COLD !!!!!!!
Now I am told that some in Japan come with hot air blowers ........wow........... now that is better a hair drier for a different location on the body
Ok Ok Ok why is it that it comes to my mind the idea of pubic hair styles can now include have a perm !!
While I am still getting over what I will need years of counselling to get over let me show you what is normal in a railway station.
fountain
No control on it ! talk about a fountain look at it ….just look at what it is doing on my next trip I an so going to try and learn to pee standing up I am sure I would get far less wet doing it the guy way.
Ho yes to finish off please take a look at my vampire book film trailer and please buy a copy as I will need to stock up on lots of paper tissues before having another shopping trip in SE Asia.
Toilet Humour for Vampires
Toilet Humour for Vampires
I do so often worry that I am the only one to see the funny side of this strange world we live in.
Look as you know from my books and blogs
(Remember to always visit my lair at: http://www.fangsrule.com )
I am a Vampire Author and life is not all about biting people, no of course not it is all about Chocolate, anyway a human friend just invited me on a shopping trip, and what girl could say no to that, ok so it was going to be on the other side of the planet but heck so what its shopping therapy so its good you one.
But as I have said on other visits to SE Asia the major problem this vampire girl has is the plumbing ….eeeech ….so of it is like so primitive.
Talk about peeing in a hole in the ground.
And well the ones with running water have running water everywhere, making ¾ pants not a fashion item but the only way you can stop walking about with wet jean legs, the floors are wet….no the floors are soaking wet….. take a look at what the girls non Muslim girls wear and you will see it is shorts and a top.
Even the posh loos have the standard cold water hose pipe to stick between your legs instead of toilet tissue.
WARNING: Always carry a packet of tissues …..No toilet tissues in the cubicle and unless you are the sort of girl that goes about cleaned shaven (not a good idea if you have Chinese fur that makes you feel like a cactus unless done daily) it means you get wet but no in a nice way.
Wet Fur = Wet Panties …………….Wet Panties = Damp patches when you sit down
Look at the photo and tell me how you would be able to stick a orange hose pipe between your legs turn on the tap and not look to the world like you have failed to reach the toilet in time.
Heck waving a hose pipe about in a confined space it is lucky one does not end up with a wet bra as well as wet panties.
For the real posh we have a little pink hose pipe and flushing and very important a drain in the floor……
Yes you have guessed it the public ones do not always have floor drains which is why you have to paddle before you piddle.
Our first hotel was a shock
As the toilet had a control box and a little penis in the bowl, (well what would you call it?)and it should have come with a health warning unless you are the sort of girl that likes to be violated by a bathroom appliance ….I'm Not! ....I had to film it …see the power of that water jet hit the door!!!
Yes I did try it out my mistake……..well how was I to know it would do that ! and it was aimed at a delicate part of my body and it *!!#~** ing HURT !!!!!!!
I don't know about others but I think it is a contraceptive device as there you are sitting comfortably thinking how cute the bellboy was that nearly got a hernia carrying your cases up and after the blood curdling scream you let out in discovering what the switch does believe me sex is no longer on your mind.
As we moved about the next hotel we tried had a supper looking WC
And came with instructions as it had its own moving penis ………yes it did !!!!! yes it has a penis I kid you not take a look at the film I made and just guess where that little white pipe is travelling to… eeeeeeeeech
Perhaps it is just me and this is normal but never in my wildest fantasies have I ever wanted such a personal encounter …..and the water was Sooooooo Frigging COLD !!!!!!!
While I am still getting over what I will need years of counselling to get over let me show you what is normal in a railway station.
fountain
No control on it ! talk about a fountain look at it ….just look at what it is doing on my next trip I an so going to try and learn to pee standing up I am sure I would get far less wet doing it the guy way.
Ho yes to finish off please take a look at my vampire book film trailer and please buy a copy as I will need to stock up on lots of paper tissues before having another shopping trip in SE Asia.
I do so often worry that I am the only one to see the funny side of this strange world we live in.
Look as you know from my books and blogs
(Remember to always visit my lair at: http://www.fangsrule.com )
I am a Vampire Author and life is not all about biting people, no of course not it is all about Chocolate, anyway a human friend just invited me on a shopping trip, and what girl could say no to that, ok so it was going to be on the other side of the planet but heck so what its shopping therapy so its good you one.
But as I have said on other visits to SE Asia the major problem this vampire girl has is the plumbing ….eeeech ….so of it is like so primitive.
Talk about peeing in a hole in the ground.
And well the ones with running water have running water everywhere, making ¾ pants not a fashion item but the only way you can stop walking about with wet jean legs, the floors are wet….no the floors are soaking wet….. take a look at what the girls non Muslim girls wear and you will see it is shorts and a top.
Even the posh loos have the standard cold water hose pipe to stick between your legs instead of toilet tissue.
WARNING: Always carry a packet of tissues …..No toilet tissues in the cubicle and unless you are the sort of girl that goes about cleaned shaven (not a good idea if you have Chinese fur that makes you feel like a cactus unless done daily) it means you get wet but no in a nice way.
Wet Fur = Wet Panties …………….Wet Panties = Damp patches when you sit down
Look at the photo and tell me how you would be able to stick a orange hose pipe between your legs turn on the tap and not look to the world like you have failed to reach the toilet in time.
Heck waving a hose pipe about in a confined space it is lucky one does not end up with a wet bra as well as wet panties.
For the real posh we have a little pink hose pipe and flushing and very important a drain in the floor……
Yes you have guessed it the public ones do not always have floor drains which is why you have to paddle before you piddle.
Our first hotel was a shock
As the toilet had a control box and a little penis in the bowl, (well what would you call it?)and it should have come with a health warning unless you are the sort of girl that likes to be violated by a bathroom appliance ….I'm Not! ....I had to film it …see the power of that water jet hit the door!!!
Yes I did try it out my mistake……..well how was I to know it would do that ! and it was aimed at a delicate part of my body and it *!!#~** ing HURT !!!!!!!
I don't know about others but I think it is a contraceptive device as there you are sitting comfortably thinking how cute the bellboy was that nearly got a hernia carrying your cases up and after the blood curdling scream you let out in discovering what the switch does believe me sex is no longer on your mind.
As we moved about the next hotel we tried had a supper looking WC
And came with instructions as it had its own moving penis ………yes it did !!!!! yes it has a penis I kid you not take a look at the film I made and just guess where that little white pipe is travelling to… eeeeeeeeech Perhaps it is just me and this is normal but never in my wildest fantasies have I ever wanted such a personal encounter …..and the water was Sooooooo Frigging COLD !!!!!!!
While I am still getting over what I will need years of counselling to get over let me show you what is normal in a railway station.
fountain
No control on it ! talk about a fountain look at it ….just look at what it is doing on my next trip I an so going to try and learn to pee standing up I am sure I would get far less wet doing it the guy way.
Ho yes to finish off please take a look at my vampire book film trailer and please buy a copy as I will need to stock up on lots of paper tissues before having another shopping trip in SE Asia.
March 2, 2012
Anime panties and Looking up a cartoon girls skirt
Anime and MangaGirls showing their undies
My manga girl pics are sexy but still fully dressed take a look at http://www.fangsrule.com/Najica Blitz Tactics is a cute story with lots of action mild violence so it is rated a children's Anime but it must be the only film that is supported and funded by the underwear industry take a look at the youtube link and then tell me the Japanese do not have a thing for looking up girls skirts !
My manga girl pics are sexy but still fully dressed take a look at http://www.fangsrule.com/Najica Blitz Tactics is a cute story with lots of action mild violence so it is rated a children's Anime but it must be the only film that is supported and funded by the underwear industry take a look at the youtube link and then tell me the Japanese do not have a thing for looking up girls skirts !
Getting Excited Looking up a cartoon girls skirt
Anime and MangaGirls showing their undies
My manga girl pics are sexy but still fully dressed take a look at http://www.fangsrule.com/Najica Blitz Tactics is a cute story with lots of action mild violence so it is rated a children's Anime but it must be the only film that is supported and funded by the underwear industry take a look at the youtube link and then tell me the Japanese do not have a thing for looking up girls skirts !
My manga girl pics are sexy but still fully dressed take a look at http://www.fangsrule.com/Najica Blitz Tactics is a cute story with lots of action mild violence so it is rated a children's Anime but it must be the only film that is supported and funded by the underwear industry take a look at the youtube link and then tell me the Japanese do not have a thing for looking up girls skirts !
February 19, 2012
Pantie pockets for Girls
Underwear Pockets for Girls
Now that is such a good idea, Guys have no idea the problem a girl has in trying to carry things when female fashion says you don't
Half the time the only reason a girl has a boyfriend is that it is too expensive to hire someone to act as a porter.
You did not really think sex was free did you?
There is only so much you can stick up your sleave or down your bra before people think you are deformed
And from Anime and Manga we all believe that Japanese girls show their undies so much that they could make money by letting out advertising space on them !!!!!
Najica Blitz Tactics is a cute story with lots of action mild violence so it is rated a children's Anime.
But it must be the only film that is supported and funded by the underwear industry take a look at the youtube links and then tell me that Japanese Guys do not have a thing for looking up girls skirts !You don't believe me? well take a look
Now perhaps this is why everyone thinks my books are Young Adult.
I now know no matter how much I go on about panties and the everyday problems about living life as a girl ............. What I say is very mild .....look i even explain why it is so Yucky to want to have sex with items of food! ick !!!!
I did say vampire girls did I not? sex with humans is like so pervy ........... look let the Guys do the sex perversions (staring at the food while it sleeps....Twilight )
No as a nice girl you should always clear the dead human bodies away after you have ripped the heads off ....look your Mom should not have to clean up after you..... no that is what the undead Maids are for .......that and sleeping with .....
Well it saves getting up during the night for a drink
Visit me at ...................... ..www.fangsrule.com
AMAZONhttp://www.amazon.com/Fangs-Rule-Girls-Guide-Vampire/dp/1874192480/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1329659940&sr=8-2
This is just one review read for yourself what people think.........ho yes I even leave the criticisms in ...........:
This A-to-Z guide is an innovative approach to the paranormal Young Adult genre. Rather than hopping on the bandwagon of sparkly sexy vampires (Amy Mah actually dispels these clichés... gotta love her for that, if anything!), a little bit of classical gothic vampirism is shown within the pages of this book, as well as a lot of gore. And of course the sex. But not the explicit adult kind. As a book for teenage girls, all exhaustive information that has to do with sex is more oriented toward how it should be dealt with in the pubescent years, and for the most part, humorously. So I wouldn't call this inappropriate, by any means.
Mah is a real hoot. Her style of writing is rather childish, but it definitely captures a teenage girl's essence -- it's so flustered, that I can't help but think it cute. Her liveliness and enthusiasm make for real knee-slappers; I found myself chuckling more than a few times throughout this book. The advice given not only is helpful (for those teen girl vampires out there), but it also all ties together to bring the reader into understanding Mah's world of the paranormal. I appreciate how she is able to do this without writing an actual novel, just with a simple list!
The book has its flaws too, however. The grammar and conventions are poor -- as an independently-published book, that much isn't a surprise. There are a lot of "errrr"s" and "ummmms" and ".................."s that aren't fit for a book. It just is incredibly unprofessional, not to mention, annoying. Some topics are also really uncomfortable in a painfully awkward "why on earth would you bring something like that up?" way. For example, there's a whole section about why a certain species of vampire (the undead housemaids) don't wear underwear. Use your imagination to figure out what this reason is (hint: they're basically sex slaves....). Yeah, she went there. It's not that things like that are particularly improper, it's just that they're really, really weird.
The illustrations are well-drawn, Vampire powers will be discussed, and out of the blue, on the next page, will be a picture of an old man with a caption that says "This is my uncle in his nice suit" or something. Gave me lots of "lolwut" moments.
Looking past the editing mistakes (did Mah even have an editor?), and inopportune subject matters, I liked this one a lot. The manic tone is quite amusing, and the teenage experience (that she describes skillfully) relatable. Kudos to Mah for telling a vampire story without actually writing a story... even without a definite plot, this book, with a cast of characters and a detailed exposition, could be considered a great Young Adult novel thanks to the dazzling vampire realm it creates.
Stephanie Loves: Amy Mah brilliantly sums up a teenager's unfair, unlucky, and incredibly awkward life: "For some reason boys are fascinated with boobs, and with plastic surgery so easily available nowadays I don't see why they don't get their own..." -- so why is it that they like ours so much -___- Us girls don't obsess over their weenies like that.
"[Blooding] is the when quality time is spent with your dad, no longer, in which he no longer is the old-fashioned monster of a male that storms into your bedroom without knocking while you're changing and demanding that you apologize to your mother for something that she is shouting at him about." -- the story of my family in one sentence.
"If your boyfriend suddenly decides to go commando, just tell him he looks untidy. A boy standing still naked is okay, but as soon as he walks about, not all his bits move at the same pace, and it is more amusing-looking than sexy. You may have heard of girls swooning (fainting) when seeing a boy naked, but I expect this was just an excuse to stop from pointing at them and getting into a fit of giggles over what they see." -- I reckon so too! LOL
"Remember that it is normal to turn the head slightly when you kiss. Nine times out of ten it will be to the right, which of course means that the first time you kiss a boy, he'll be the one out of ten sort, and you'll knock noses." -- in every kiss you have as a teenager, he will be the one out of ten sort. It soon shall pass.
"There's a truth in the old saying: 'Go to bed with a stranger and wake up with a friend.'" -- well I never! This puts a whole new perspective on the concept of sleeping with the enemy. So forbidden (hot).
Now that is such a good idea, Guys have no idea the problem a girl has in trying to carry things when female fashion says you don't
Half the time the only reason a girl has a boyfriend is that it is too expensive to hire someone to act as a porter.
You did not really think sex was free did you?
There is only so much you can stick up your sleave or down your bra before people think you are deformed
And from Anime and Manga we all believe that Japanese girls show their undies so much that they could make money by letting out advertising space on them !!!!!
Najica Blitz Tactics is a cute story with lots of action mild violence so it is rated a children's Anime.
But it must be the only film that is supported and funded by the underwear industry take a look at the youtube links and then tell me that Japanese Guys do not have a thing for looking up girls skirts !You don't believe me? well take a lookNow perhaps this is why everyone thinks my books are Young Adult.
I now know no matter how much I go on about panties and the everyday problems about living life as a girl ............. What I say is very mild .....look i even explain why it is so Yucky to want to have sex with items of food! ick !!!!
I did say vampire girls did I not? sex with humans is like so pervy ........... look let the Guys do the sex perversions (staring at the food while it sleeps....Twilight )
No as a nice girl you should always clear the dead human bodies away after you have ripped the heads off ....look your Mom should not have to clean up after you..... no that is what the undead Maids are for .......that and sleeping with .....
Well it saves getting up during the night for a drink
Visit me at ...................... ..www.fangsrule.com
AMAZONhttp://www.amazon.com/Fangs-Rule-Girls-Guide-Vampire/dp/1874192480/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1329659940&sr=8-2
This is just one review read for yourself what people think.........ho yes I even leave the criticisms in ...........:
This A-to-Z guide is an innovative approach to the paranormal Young Adult genre. Rather than hopping on the bandwagon of sparkly sexy vampires (Amy Mah actually dispels these clichés... gotta love her for that, if anything!), a little bit of classical gothic vampirism is shown within the pages of this book, as well as a lot of gore. And of course the sex. But not the explicit adult kind. As a book for teenage girls, all exhaustive information that has to do with sex is more oriented toward how it should be dealt with in the pubescent years, and for the most part, humorously. So I wouldn't call this inappropriate, by any means.
Mah is a real hoot. Her style of writing is rather childish, but it definitely captures a teenage girl's essence -- it's so flustered, that I can't help but think it cute. Her liveliness and enthusiasm make for real knee-slappers; I found myself chuckling more than a few times throughout this book. The advice given not only is helpful (for those teen girl vampires out there), but it also all ties together to bring the reader into understanding Mah's world of the paranormal. I appreciate how she is able to do this without writing an actual novel, just with a simple list!
The book has its flaws too, however. The grammar and conventions are poor -- as an independently-published book, that much isn't a surprise. There are a lot of "errrr"s" and "ummmms" and ".................."s that aren't fit for a book. It just is incredibly unprofessional, not to mention, annoying. Some topics are also really uncomfortable in a painfully awkward "why on earth would you bring something like that up?" way. For example, there's a whole section about why a certain species of vampire (the undead housemaids) don't wear underwear. Use your imagination to figure out what this reason is (hint: they're basically sex slaves....). Yeah, she went there. It's not that things like that are particularly improper, it's just that they're really, really weird.
The illustrations are well-drawn, Vampire powers will be discussed, and out of the blue, on the next page, will be a picture of an old man with a caption that says "This is my uncle in his nice suit" or something. Gave me lots of "lolwut" moments.
Looking past the editing mistakes (did Mah even have an editor?), and inopportune subject matters, I liked this one a lot. The manic tone is quite amusing, and the teenage experience (that she describes skillfully) relatable. Kudos to Mah for telling a vampire story without actually writing a story... even without a definite plot, this book, with a cast of characters and a detailed exposition, could be considered a great Young Adult novel thanks to the dazzling vampire realm it creates.
Stephanie Loves: Amy Mah brilliantly sums up a teenager's unfair, unlucky, and incredibly awkward life: "For some reason boys are fascinated with boobs, and with plastic surgery so easily available nowadays I don't see why they don't get their own..." -- so why is it that they like ours so much -___- Us girls don't obsess over their weenies like that.
"[Blooding] is the when quality time is spent with your dad, no longer, in which he no longer is the old-fashioned monster of a male that storms into your bedroom without knocking while you're changing and demanding that you apologize to your mother for something that she is shouting at him about." -- the story of my family in one sentence.
"If your boyfriend suddenly decides to go commando, just tell him he looks untidy. A boy standing still naked is okay, but as soon as he walks about, not all his bits move at the same pace, and it is more amusing-looking than sexy. You may have heard of girls swooning (fainting) when seeing a boy naked, but I expect this was just an excuse to stop from pointing at them and getting into a fit of giggles over what they see." -- I reckon so too! LOL
"Remember that it is normal to turn the head slightly when you kiss. Nine times out of ten it will be to the right, which of course means that the first time you kiss a boy, he'll be the one out of ten sort, and you'll knock noses." -- in every kiss you have as a teenager, he will be the one out of ten sort. It soon shall pass.
"There's a truth in the old saying: 'Go to bed with a stranger and wake up with a friend.'" -- well I never! This puts a whole new perspective on the concept of sleeping with the enemy. So forbidden (hot).
February 14, 2012
Having SEX with Machines
Well I don't but I do have a male / female relationship with my computer and it is definitely Male!
No I am not going to go on about it being dumb stupid and unfaithful like guys…………. But it is so true………….
Why is it male ……………. God that is so obvious
No matter what it tells you it can do……….. In real life it can only do one thing at the time and then you have to watch it while it is doing that or it will do it wrong!
As soon as you leave the room it stops and waits till you come back to carry on.
I am sure mine spends its down time off and scanning porn sites looking for the latest case less HP computer with its components hanging out showing them all lite up with pretty red diodes ……. The sluts ………. Like does it ever show the slightest interest with what I wear!
As to perversions It is always wanting me to help it stick some male part of its anatomy into any passing reproductive copier……………
Hardwear!!!! you are joking its hardware will not do anything until you have spent hours playing with its software that by the time the hardware says it is working you are no longer in the mood.
If I get a virus I still have to work on but hell no my machine is male ….one little virus and it has man flu …………… it may as well be dead for all the use it is as it only wants it sit in some sick bed of a workshop and be waited on by repair staff………that charge lots to say no nothing is wrong with it ……………its working fine now…..perhaps it only needed a rest ……….see MALE !!! Nothing wrong with it just wanted me to worry that it was ill !
No I am not going to go on about it being dumb stupid and unfaithful like guys…………. But it is so true………….
Why is it male ……………. God that is so obvious
No matter what it tells you it can do……….. In real life it can only do one thing at the time and then you have to watch it while it is doing that or it will do it wrong!
As soon as you leave the room it stops and waits till you come back to carry on.
I am sure mine spends its down time off and scanning porn sites looking for the latest case less HP computer with its components hanging out showing them all lite up with pretty red diodes ……. The sluts ………. Like does it ever show the slightest interest with what I wear!
As to perversions It is always wanting me to help it stick some male part of its anatomy into any passing reproductive copier……………
Hardwear!!!! you are joking its hardware will not do anything until you have spent hours playing with its software that by the time the hardware says it is working you are no longer in the mood.
If I get a virus I still have to work on but hell no my machine is male ….one little virus and it has man flu …………… it may as well be dead for all the use it is as it only wants it sit in some sick bed of a workshop and be waited on by repair staff………that charge lots to say no nothing is wrong with it ……………its working fine now…..perhaps it only needed a rest ……….see MALE !!! Nothing wrong with it just wanted me to worry that it was ill !
Girls Having SEX with Machines
Well I don't but I do have a male / female relationship with my computer and it is definitely Male!
No I am not going to go on about it being dumb stupid and unfaithful like guys…………. But it is so true………….
Why is it male ……………. God that is so obvious
No matter what it tells you it can do……….. In real life it can only do one thing at the time and then you have to watch it while it is doing that or it will do it wrong!
As soon as you leave the room it stops and waits till you come back to carry on.
I am sure mine spends its down time off and scanning porn sites looking for the latest case less HP computer with its components hanging out showing them all lite up with pretty red diodes ……. The sluts ………. Like does it ever show the slightest interest with what I wear!
As to perversions It is always wanting me to help it stick some male part of its anatomy into any passing reproductive copier……………
Hardwear!!!! you are joking its hardware will not do anything until you have spent hours playing with its software that by the time the hardware says it is working you are no longer in the mood.
If I get a virus I still have to work on but hell no my machine is male ….one little virus and it has man flu …………… it may as well be dead for all the use it is as it only wants it sit in some sick bed of a workshop and be waited on by repair staff………that charge lots to say no nothing is wrong with it ……………its working fine now…..perhaps it only needed a rest ……….see MALE !!! Nothing wrong with it just wanted me to worry that it was ill !
No I am not going to go on about it being dumb stupid and unfaithful like guys…………. But it is so true………….
Why is it male ……………. God that is so obvious
No matter what it tells you it can do……….. In real life it can only do one thing at the time and then you have to watch it while it is doing that or it will do it wrong!
As soon as you leave the room it stops and waits till you come back to carry on.
I am sure mine spends its down time off and scanning porn sites looking for the latest case less HP computer with its components hanging out showing them all lite up with pretty red diodes ……. The sluts ………. Like does it ever show the slightest interest with what I wear!
As to perversions It is always wanting me to help it stick some male part of its anatomy into any passing reproductive copier……………
Hardwear!!!! you are joking its hardware will not do anything until you have spent hours playing with its software that by the time the hardware says it is working you are no longer in the mood.
If I get a virus I still have to work on but hell no my machine is male ….one little virus and it has man flu …………… it may as well be dead for all the use it is as it only wants it sit in some sick bed of a workshop and be waited on by repair staff………that charge lots to say no nothing is wrong with it ……………its working fine now…..perhaps it only needed a rest ……….see MALE !!! Nothing wrong with it just wanted me to worry that it was ill !
February 6, 2012
Wear a short skirt with no panties and freeze your butt of on a street corner somewhere
I need to make some money and well I have nice legs and with a nice micro skirt and a snug fitting top I could find some way to get a guy to part with some money and what with how cold it is at the moment you could hang a coat from my chest if you know what I mean and that always gets a guys attention, but then we are talking about guys here and that means the sight of two scoops of ice-cream will get most guys excited.
If I had money I could put some heating on and it is you the readers fault! …yes it is ……….if you would just go and buy some more of my books I could keep warm.
What I would love to wear is tight black leather and no not that plastic crap it smells when it gets hot, I want the real thing ! yes, yes, yes, I want some animal to die to make me look good ……………
Ho god can one look sexy in black leather top and pants finished off with a pair or knee length black boots ………………sigh ……………… and before people start complaining about me killing animals to look good just look down at your feet and unless you are cheap and think plastic is a good choice in fashionable foot wear ………….er…..no it is not …………. With that sort of thinking you may as well go of a plastic short skirt with no panties and freeze your butt of on a street corner somewhere.
I'm also in need of a nice fur coat, well it is winter and just because I have fangs and claws it does not mean I don't get cold and my own little area of fur is kinda limited so I am happy to wear another animals coat……..Mink would be nice, me and anti fur campaigners? Hah! Noooooooow just pass me a club and stand back ………..er……… come here nice little mink come and join the rest of the coat?
Look you have been watching far too much twilight I'm not that sort of vampire, this vampire bites ! and she is also frigging cold in winter ……………………..
GO BUY A BOOK OR YOU WILL BE THE NEXT ANIMAL TO BECOME EXTINCT !!!!!!!!! Don't say I did not warn you if this winter gets any colder I'm not just going to bite you but skin you as well …………… PS if you have purchased a book please keep the receipt on you as vampire protection by holding it out in front of you……….
Look here is me furless...Im the one on the right Ice is the one on the left and if you think she is sexy you should see her brother ...................... sigh
Well I'm not the only one you humans like fur take a look :
Get ready for your sexy fur and leather induced orgasm...
http://www.ladywarfieldpresents.com/2010/11/norisol-ferrari-queen-of-fur-leather.html
Wow !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now that will keep me warm ...............
One of Norisol Ferrari's earliest memories is of lying on the floor of a Neiman Marcus fur salon dreaming of being surrounded in this finery for all of her life. Born and raised in New York, with Venezuelan roots and years of traveling, Norisol's began a lifetime appreciation and love of different cultural aesthetics, beauty and timeless glamour. Each one of her pieces is a hand-made work of art and many of them are one-of-a-kind creations. At the core of her work are historical uses of classic men's tailoring grounded in utilitarion philosophy.
"It comes down to empowering my costumer with what is important to them and inspiring them. In this incredible and sometimes difficult journey we call life, we often need reminders of the wonderful world we live in – a coat, made from nature's bounty and designed to fit perfectly, protecting us from the elements while holding us safely in comfort has a way of making us feel like the magnificent beings we are."
visit www.norisolferrari.com/ to experience her collection.
It is said that leather has no age. This is one of those fabrics that enjoys a history of thousands of years. Even from the Paleolithic they were discovered mural paintings revealing the fact that people were wearing different items made from animal skin. Then, there were the Greeks and Romans who used leather in order to make shoes or military uniforms. In fashion, the leather jacket became famous due to cinema development. The movie "The Wild One", in 1953, in which Marlon Brando appeared in a leather jacket was the point when this item became a real fashion statement.
The most common idea when choosing a leather jacket is to go for the classic type. However, as this should be a fashion statement meant to complete a dull outfit, why not to try a more extravagant one with different applications or special tailoring. Still, you can keep the classic model as a back-up plan. You can match the biker jacket with a pair of skinny jeans and ballerina flats, or with flare pants or jeans, a blouse and a pair of platform shoes.
February 3, 2012
Vampire News by Bertena Varney & Stavros
Here's a free ebook you can download called Vampire News!
Well, the eBook, Vampire News, is now available for FREE!!! Click on the links below to download your very own copy for your eReader.
Vampire News is choked full of goodness! Lots of articles, news, events, reviews, happenings, photographs, quips, quotes, and random-vampire-ness from some of today's best and brightest working in the genre!
So, enjoy!
Just Click Here http://bitemereallyhard.com/
Bertena Varney and Stavros have compiled a book of the great news of vampire events of 2011 They created an awesome timeline with book covers, reviews of book, interview of authors, and essays about movies, television shows and more from various authors and bloggers as well websites to learn more about vampire news.
Bertena and Stavros have decided to offer the book for free so that they can all allow more readers to learn about the vampire world.
Er ....and Did I say it was free? yes that is FREE so what are you waiting for go get it ...........
and yes I am in it..........
And while you are here take a look at my new little Booktrailers, the first little vid is talking about my new book ....VAMPIRE ............... and it is full to the brim with blood guts gore bouncing boobs naked bodies and sarcastic rude comments and I bet people will still say it is young adult ! .......sigh..................
ho yes it is a diary type novel with art .... ..... .er.............not an illustrated novel more of a novel with illustrations .........I think it is written in 1st person sarcastic and 3rd person cynical ......but heck I don't know I only wrote it ...............
this is my new book VAMPIRE
This is about Me
And This is my Fangs Rule
WEBSITE: http://www.fangsrule.com/
January 26, 2012
Rare Lost Photographs and Journals of Captain Scott's First Antarctic Expedition
AMAZON http://www.amazon.com/Antarctic-Journals-Reginald-Skelton-Judy/dp/1873877684/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1327576651&sr=8-1
Click here antarctic bookshopA truly astounding book revealing Captain Scott's first expedition, containing many rare and never seen before pictures.
Diary and Photographs from Reginald Skelton Chief Engineer and Official Photographer To Captain Scott's Discovery Expedition
There is a freshness in this account, written by a young man describing events even as they take place, as he experiences them without knowing what is to follow, which is lost in any retrospective telling of the tale.
Through the publication of this book I hope many other people, who would not otherwise have the opportunity to read the original journals, will be able to share the pleasure of vicarious participation in the Expedition. There is another purpose in bringing this book to the public. Skelton, whose name is by no means universally known, was, nevertheless, an important member of the Expedition and many books about Discovery include quotations from his journals.
Since becoming familiar with the journals, I have found out that not all these passages are faithfully reproduced. I am aware of at least two supposedly scholarly books which contain misquotations from Skelton's journals. Whereas innocent mistakes can be made in interpreting hand-written documents, the distortion in some instances is of an order which suggests deliberate misrepresentation. The present book gives all serious students of the history of Antarctic exploration access to the full authentic text.
Judy Skelton (Grand daughter of Reginald Skelton)
