Amy Mah's Blog, page 34

Everything I Need to Know I Learned From David Bowie By Cedric MacKinnon

Everything I Need to Know I Learned From David Bowie

By

Cedric MacKinnon




Right—so, how does one become a badass vampire and look fabulous whilst doing so?  Sure, I had some wonderful teachers in the martial arts and weaponry, but all the really important things, things that make me stand out from the dreary lot of bloodsuckers, I learned from the Master of Cool, the Sultan of Style, the one- and-only David Bowie.




Red hair is hot.  




David Bowie is a natural blond, yet he continually dyed his hair red.  




Why?  




The answer is clear: it’s sexy to be a ginger.




Although sparkling is definitely taboo for Immortals, a little strategically applied glitter is fabulous.  Bowie once played a vampire in The Hunger.  Never did he sparkle-- and he was the Guru of Glitter.  




Looking like a pirate can be a good thing—eye patch optional.




Real Men Wear Silk.  One doesn’t have to overcompensate on the masculinity.  Men who wear make-up and spandex often get the hottest women.  




It’s even more fabulous to be bisexual and share the love!




Be wary of strangers; one of them could be the Goblin King. 




I should have listened to this advice and not bought into my master Raj’s plans for me.  Oh well, if I hadn’t I would probably be dead now—not nearly as fabulous.




Play the guitar and sing.  Everyone loves a troubadour.  

My instrument of choice is a vintage Fender Stratocaster.  




Just when your public thinks they have you sorted out, change your image!




The Old Cedric, Vampire Courtesan















The New Cedric, Badass Assassin









So, there you have it!  Of course, one doesn't slavishly follow the master.  




One must evolve a personal style-- bring innovations into the canon, so to speak.   




If you leave a comment at the end of this post, my darlings, you can get a free ebook of Annals of the Immortyls.  




One of these short tales features yours truly!















To find out more about my fabulous life in the fast lane, follow me on Facebook  




https://www.facebook.com/cedricvampire 

or 

Twitter @cedricmackinnon




You can read about me in my adventures:




















====================

The Amy Bit




And of course to all the vampire lovers reading this I have to point out my own little work on neck biting 

skirt flipping as a game

Skirt Flip









My last blog talked about terminology
I use in my books and that sometimes I have to explain what I mean when I say
things like “A Lazy Wind” or better still a saying I invented myself and that
is “A Male Wind”

Meaning a wind that has
one purpose in life and that is to get under your skirt or dress.




But today I was surprised at
finding a flip skirt game shown on Youtube, I talk of flipskirt being a male scoring
game at school in my books but no one every believed me it was real and not
something I just invented but here it is ok so a cartoon and video game but if
you search youtube I expect you can find lots of clips on it happening for real.
























In my books I use lots of
stuff that I learned growing up and I wonder why it is just me that learned
some of the rules and not just the obvious ones that celebrities forget like
forgetting you are not wearing undies when you bend over to touch your toes in
front of 50 cameramen.




If you read my books you
will discover why some of the rules are there:









 Come see my how to be a teenage Vampire books




www.FangsRule.com











   

The Male Wind v the Pantie Less girl

My book has been put to bed,
well other people are doing all kinds of stuff to it and I will not see it
until it is all bound in covers, kinda stressful ……….heck it is mega stressful
…..




Someone asked about
terminology …er…

….what ok well I was asked if
people would understand some of my comments and I don’t know, I understand the
meanings but then I’m a vampire and some of the human readers may need a help.




Simple everyday things one
can say like aircon nipples this must be so obvious that even a guy would
understand…..ok ok ok  some guys may
understand so for the others take a look at this advert I found on car aircon
systems which personally I have never found one to do this to me …………… er…ok
perhaps the bra, top and thick coat I wear kinda make it work hard but you need
to dress up warmly to appreciate aircon.




Hotel aircon can do nippliy
things at times so this vampire has a wind proof shawl        











car aircon nipples







In my books I talk of types
of wind and not just the sort you blame on the cat.




A Lazy wind




 …………………. This is a wind that does not bother
to go around you but believes that the shortest route between A and B is
between my ribs.




A Male Wind




Come on you must know what
that is! It produces Marilyn Manrow moments and a mental check if you
remembered to wear panties today.




Look hot summer days and long
light dresses you may just like to be cool and enjoy ……..well you know what I
mean




And then comes along a male
wind ….yes it is male as all it wants to do is get under your dress ……….its
only purpose in life is to show the whole world that color of your undies if
any undies you are wearing.




Personally if I were to take
the risk of going pantieless I would have lead weights tied to the dress and
risk it taking some guys eye out in a strong gust ………well he should not have
been looking!




This is what I found on
Youtube

















  
















After All that you need a
good read so why not try my vampire book?




www.fangsrule.com

Its ok to do nasty things as long as it is Cultural

Its ok to do nasty things as long as it is Cultural



I am sure that it is only by luck that you humans servive at all, what with how you are always trying to kill each other off ………………..



Look stop it ! now listen it is my job as a vampire to cull you so you don’t need to to it ok?  



We that is the Vampire race would like you all nice and healthy so you taste nice and all you want to do is go off and die or kill by starting a war………… I sometimes think you have no consideration for others, this is my lunch you are killing off in some stupid war or other !!! 



And all the stuff you put down as cultural …………… well everything is ok if you say it is cultural.



Black Slavery is cultural …………. Er ……… well all slavery is cultural ……. So well it must be ok ?  …….should we legalise it again?



And well it must be ok as none of the religions complained about it until recently ………. Slavery has been a good economic success for thousands of years long before Judaism, Chritanity and Islam 



………… came along and until recently practised by god fearing Jews, Christians and Muslims ……….so it is certainly cultural is it not ? and being cultural you should not create laws against it 



……….But this must be true ……..the number of times I hear on the news that some group or other complain that people try to interfere with there culture ………… it is our right to stone people to death as it is our culture……….. 



……..the West does not realise our culture is very important to us and our religion which is why kill female children as they are not so important as having male children.



And I right ? if this is what they say and get away with it then we can bring back African Slavery …………… well it is cultural …………. And it would so help the economies of some of the poorer African states…………  



……………….. We will start first with the African states that practise (FGM)… female genital mutilation on children …………… well it is only cultural ..as is slavery 



…………. And by enslaving the people that do this we are in fact doing good by stopping a culture we do not like and supporting one that can help crate jobs, trade and money …….so a win / win   situation  



We vampires have slaves and they do not object ………well I expect some may have in the past but we would have killed them…… as soon as we turn a human they will be a slave to the more superior vampires …..and this is normal ……….. heck you can say it is cultural 



……….As is the branding of females………….. and when they say it want hurt ………er……. They lie!!!!  All females have to be branded to show what family they belong to and who owns them …………..



……….being branded is somehow a way to explain to the world that you are a female……………… see just like with humans, Males have a tendency to be very stupid in not being able to recognise what a female looks like ………this could be the reason human males have sex with sheep ………… ok ok so the sheep probable led him on,  ok I understand ……………



But being a girl I have a family brand on my hip ……..it kinda looks like a pink bat ……….. and this is to tell Males that I am a female.



.......... ok so I am not fantastically endowed in the boob department but to not know I am female until I remove my pants ! …………… look Pink panties with bats on them ..er…….like female ………. Ok! ……….so whats the need for being branded………… ok, ok, I know it is cultural so must be ok……….. 



All in all I think I prefer the Vampire culture ……….you Humans are kinda SICK at times with what you get up to……….

joeybra a bra with a pocket!

JoeyBra












Wow
I should get paid for my blogs













and so where is my free sample?




Only
last week I was saying about getting a vibrating phone out of your panties as
like where else can you put it……….besides you kinda notice if someone tried to
steal it … especially if they had COLD hands !!!!!!




Now
we have the JoeyBra
















Take
a look and tell me what you think




Have
you ever had trouble wondering what to do with your phone, lipstick, or bank
card when wearing a dress with no pockets? This Kickstarter project has
got you covered. A duo from Seattle
has invented a bra with a small underarm pocket for discretely storing
everything from lipstick and gum to credit cards and iPhones. Meet the JoeyBra:







If you like this then take a look at my books on vampires 













www.fangsrule.com




er...why not and heck while you are at it buy one you can then keep it close to your heart in your very own Joeybra

Vampire Book Realm Where Fangs Rule !

Take a
look at the Vampire Book Realm





















At The Vampire Book Realm, readers can discover new
authors, books and series all in the Vampire genre. 



With so many
terrifying and tantalizing tales of these fanged creatures out on the market,
it can be a daunting task in finding fresh new authors and stories that you can
really sink your teeth into. 
the Vampire Book
Realm, we strive to connect readers with vampire books to satisfy all types of
fantasies. Whether it’s historical romance, erotica, suspense thrillers or
horror, the Vampire Book Realm is sure to unearth the book with the right kind
of bite just for you.










CLICK THE LINKS BELOW:




http://www.vampirebookrealm.com/young-adult.html





https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Vampire-Book-Realm/253843618007418




http://www.vampirebookrealm.com/amy-mah.html




http://www.vampirebookrealm.com/genres.html




http://www.vampirebookrealm.com/the-v-spot-blog.html



http://www.fangsrule.com/

































On Amazon click to see:



http://www.amazon.com/Fangs-Rule-Girls-Guide-Vampire/dp/1874192480/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1337252055&sr=1-2






































New Vamp book

http://www.amazon.com/Vampire-Night-Life-Amy-Mah/dp/1874192618/ref=la_B004SYA8JM_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1337252128&sr=1-5

Do not have Sex with members of other races!

Do not have Sex with members of other races! 















Now as a Vampire I kinda have problems trying to keep ahead of
what you call Race issues…………………..




So the bags of blood come in different coloured containers ……………
what is the point of that if the colour coding does not match a blood group
chart !  ………….. Look how
can I put this nicely ………




……… WILL YOU STOP HAVING SEX WITH DIFFERENT RACES !!!!!! ………




.. It is very inconvenient! Stick to your own colours! God colour
coded you for a reason, and that is you will know who breeds with whom.




So Stop it, you are more like Rabbits than Apes………… it is hard
enough finding a blood type you like without you swapping all the coloured
labels around just to confuse and fool me!!!




Looking Asian I have to look carefully at the Bloggers rule book
….and I see that I have to be careful on what I say ….er………..in RACE I can not
use the N Word………… in case Americans see it and faint ……………. Can I use the full
Latin name…..does that count? ………….. So funny you should see what Chinese call the white races…………




The nice ones I expect you know:………




Red Beards,  (and no I don’t
know why)




Long Noses, (well you do have long noses …..sorry but you should
have noticed before you started sticking them in to other countries)




Barbarians (er …………. this one is very true you should see how a
western restaurant tries to cook prawn noodles) 




Foreign Devils (perhaps due to the strange gods you have ……… our
culture is a lot older than yours and so by the time we were getting used to
Zeus and his family you up and changed to the dress wearing gods of
Christianity and Islamality  ………… )




As the not so nice names……………. Hehehehehehe ….but very descriptive
……. It is always so funny when white people think they are the only race
intolerant lot in the world…….




Yee by the Gods am I under stress at the moment………. Just had my
new book finished being edited and now I have to worry about it going to print.




Take a look at its amazon link




http://www.amazon.com/Vampire-Night-Life-Amy-Mah/dp/1874192618/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1337077433&sr=8-4




Vampire
by Amy Mah















In
today's world it is difficult for everyone, teenagers especially. The stresses
of school, deciding who to date, and the biggie...sex are just a few. Imagine
all of those things ten times worse and you might get an idea of what it's like
growing up being a Vampire. At last the world can read of the diary of a girl
with good teeth and the youngest member of the Pink Bat family does have very
good sharp teeth. Adults want her to walk about in 18c nightdress all day
without wearing underwear And with such cold winds blowing along the corridors
- - - well that is so not going to happen. And as to guys well it's normal for
a girl to dream about Guys - - - - . Just that she wishes the dreams could
involve chocolates and holding hands and not leaping out on someone, ripping
his shirt off and demanding to know what blood type he is, well at least not on
the first date.

First Date Bras, advice for guys on what goes where and why

First Date Bras !!!!!!!!!












Ok Guys here is some advice on the many types of bra






















Front clasp: (also known as a front loader) don’t worry about trying to undo this as you will only make a mess of it, we would normally pop it open for you letting you think it has done it by itself or by magic.




Sports bra: no clasps so we will need to remove a top to take it off……… but don’t worry, they so flatten the boobs that they are not normally worn on a date.




Back Clasp: (Also known as a male created fastener and unless you are a monkey it takes lots of practise) this is the major one we will be talking about tonight.




You are on a date with a girl and the first base of kissing went better than you expected so you move on to second base and to your surprise she did not slap you, so it is now boob fondling time and the problem is that unless you are very lucky and she is not wearing one you as a guy will need to make the first move, and that is undoing it ……… yes you ……… you will know if she objects by little hints such as slamming her back against a wall and so breaking a few of your fingers. …..er…………also playing with it as if it is an elastic band when you are past the age of 14 is a no no ………….









How To Undo Her Bra With One Hand







Here are a few helpful hints




1. you know you are fumbling about for too long when the girls undoes it for you ……you wimp







‎2. if you have cold hands when on the back believe be when i say she will not let you go anywhere near her front




‎3. don't pull on the straps on at the time, so not a good idea as it is uncomfortable, look nature placed boobs on our front, trying to drag them about singlely by playing on the straps is not something that should be tried on the first date.







‎4. Any ideas on playing with the nipples should be left to at least a second date ………… as to flicking them, pinching prodding or biting should be my mutual agreement ……and no you can’t ask her! ………..  HMG if you can’t work this out forget about ever reaching 4thbase! 




Personally in a relationship I am the only one allowed to bite and besides girls nipples are more sensitive than a guys so amusing games such as to pinching or flicking of a nipple where I am concerned means accidentally kneeing the guy in the nuts 3 – 4 times ………..well accidents do happen. 







5. On no account say anything about the marks left by the bra ……yes we already know that bras leave strap marks and so don’t need reminding.







6. If you still need instruction after you have reached Sophomore  .....er.............. give up !

















Now that you can handle a bra try picking up a fun book to read




Sarcastic and cynical vampires all with good fitting bras ....yes even the male vampires have them..... 




OK we can them Helsings and they don't just give a little lift and support but as they are made of metal they are also silver bullet and wooden stake proof




www.fangsrule.com

Wearing THONGS in Public and an Uncovered Beaver shot!

Wearing THONGS in Public and an Uncovered Beaver shot!

P





Now what is all the fuss about I think he looks cute.




As to why some guys can get turned on by pictures of beaver is beyond me.............





Sexy Thongs to be seen in Public



This has just popped up on my machine and they look nice …….not sure who sells them but they look kinda Roman or Greek to me.




As a type of foot wear it is excellent for vampires…………. Freedom for the toes so that you don’t get that cramped feeling when you need to fully extend your claws……….. ahhhhhhhhh it is so nice to let your claws out without having to wear Naruto boots ……….. it you don’t understand what Naruto footwear is like then you ………well look it up……… like everyone knows of Naruto…………… true Sasuke is the hot one but ……………









………. Well back to footwear, toes need to be free so that when you get the urge to hang from a ceiling you are not just hanging from your finger claws …………. Er…..it hurts.




I have been told that if you blog or tweet a product you can get paid ………sooooooooooooo .er ..I a size 3 and in black please …..you can send it via my Publisher …………. Reardon Publishing




Now for a real sexy pic of me in my nightdress

The Blood Reich and finding virgins

THE BLOOD REICH - Bloodrayne 3
















Yeeee Gods is this a horror film? 




As a nice vampire girl I do check out what you humans are doing with our image in your films.




Daylight walking vampire Nazis with the plot of turning Hitler into a vampire




OK so that is the plot can it get worse? YES! forget about the plot as the film is mostly any excuse to remove ones panties.




And some of the places they do it.......well it is cold and full of splinters .....eck 

undead yes unfeeling no.




Look even a vampire girl would need help removing wood splinters from her butt, and believe me that is not romantic




Ok so I should not complain about horror films being logical, I still remember some film made back in the 20th century which had the main plot of  killing virgin collage girls.




Like what did the crazy do send out a form asking for a girls cherry condition before he add her to a murder hit list ?




And as to virgins in collage, well I so not going to make a comment apart from its true you will have some ring wearing I'm saving myself for Jesus types but unless the murderer is carrying out medical tests  the ring could be just a fashion statement