Sheila Wray Gregoire's Blog, page 224
November 9, 2013
Need Christmas Gifts or Stocking Stuffers Under $10?
You know when you have to come up with a gift for under $10–say a Secret Santa at work, or at church or small group, or for a child’s teacher? What do we do? We turn to boxes of chocolates or a scarf.
But what if you could do something more creative–and more fun?
I want to show you today how you can turn The Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle into amazing Christmas presents. Here’s how copyright on ebooks works: an ebook is just like a regular book. It can sit on your bookshelf, but you can also lend it out to a friend, or give it to someone else. So if you’re done with an ebook, you can ERASE it from your hard drive and give it to someone else. You can’t give it to someone and keep a copy; but you can give it away.
So in the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle you get 86 ebooks–that’s 86 potential gifts that you can use creatively to bless someone at Christmas–or at any other time of year.
Here’s what you do:
1. Print out the cover of the book and put it in an envelope, with the words “Your Certificate for—-” on the outside. OR
2. Put the .pdf of the book onto a little thumb drive (the thumb drive in itself is a great gift!
3. Add one or two “extras” to fill out the gift.
4. Voila!
And You Can Purchase Gift Bundles of the Ultimate Bundle–Cheaply!
Once you buy one copy of the Ultimate Bundle, you get the option to add TWO more for the price of ONE–so you get three for two! That’s a lot of potential gifts. You can either gift the entire bundle, with all of its freebies, to a sister or friend, or you can choose whole categories, like Real Food or Cleaning Green and give those to a friend.
Here are some Gift Ideas using Ebooks
1. 31 Days to Great Sex + Deck of Dares ($6.99) (an awesome printable of fun things to spice up your marriage!)
Buy 31 Days to Great Sex and put a coupon in your husband’s stocking, and then buy the downloadable Deck of Dares, too (with awesome suggestions to make a night SPICY!). Print out a few dares and put them in a pink envelope, with “Y’Wanna?” written on it.
2. A Simple Marriage + Romantic Toolkit ($4.99)
Know a newlywed couple? Or perhaps you want to bless a sister or a friend who is super busy? Give them A Simple Marriage ebook, and pair it with the Rekindkling Romance Toolkit with tons of printables for a great date night. Print some out and put them in an envelope with lipstick kisses on it.
3. The Breakfast Revolution + Egg Whisk + Muffin Pan ($11.15)
Don’t scrimp on breakfast! Bless a friend with the book The Breakfast Revolution with an egg whisk and a muffin pan.
4. High Protein No Powder + Baking Pan ($6.74)
Know a health nut? Give them this awesome book of protein bar recipes and smoothie recipes along with a nonstick baking pan.
5. Personal Eplanner and One Bite at a Time (Just the cost of printing!)
Know a friend who feels overwhelmed and wants to get organized? Get her these two awesome books. The Personal Eplanner is a collection of lists and organizing charts you print out, while One Bite at a Time is a weekly exercise to get your life under control. Print out a few of the pages from the Personal Eplanner and put them in a pretty binder, with a flash drive with both books.
6. Much Ado About Chicken + Chicken Dish Towel + Meat Thermometer ($9.69)
Love chicken? Here’s some cute chicken dish towels and a practical meat thermometer to go along with the ebook.
7. Baking with Quinoa + Organic Quinoa ($9.62)
Get this lovely quinoa ebook and pair it with some organic quinoa. Put a bow around it and you’re done!
8. Confessions of a Cloth Diaper Convert + Dinosaur Cloth Diaper + Receiving Blanket ($16.98)
Who can resist this adorable dinosaur cloth diaper? And learn all about how to use cloth diapers with this ebook! Add a receiving blanket to make it more special.
9. Steeped Simple Nourishing Teas + Tea Infuser + Chocolate Rooibus Loose Leaf Tea ($6.02)
Know someone who loves tea? Bless them with this tea infuser, Chocolate Rooibus Loose Leaf Tea and a book with awesome recipes for steeped teas.
10. The Essential Oiler’s Handbook + 2 Essential Oils ($7.80)
Essential oils are so fun, effective, and luxurious! Give them the book that helps people get ideas of how to use it, and then add several essential oils of your choice.
Other Ideas
I can think of so many other combinations as well–The Green Cleaners books paired with some spray bottles; the simple salves books paired with some lovely glass containers to put them in (or some essential oils, too!); the Real Food Cookbooks paired with some paring knives and tea towels. Or you can use the gardening books with some trowels or flower pots, or the “Fat Proof Your Kids” books with lovely new lunchbox. The ideas really are endless. And the great thing is that you may be able to pair these books with things you already have around your house. You can create unique gifts for people–give them a learning experience that’s fun and exciting!
Like this idea? Consider buying THREE bundles–one for yourself, and two (for the price of one!) to carve up and use as gifts. Remember that the free gifts in the bundle–including the amazing laundry detergent–are worth more than the bundle itself. They make great gifts, too!
The sale is done at 9 tonight EST, so don’t hesitate! Get it today.
The post Need Christmas Gifts or Stocking Stuffers Under $10? appeared first on To Love, Honor and Vacuum.
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November 8, 2013
Natural Does Not Always Mean Best
I’m a fairly healthy person and so I don’t visit my doctor very often. But when I do, she likes to give me these pieces of paper with lots of boxes checked off. She calls them “requisitions for blood work”. I like to put them in my “important papers” file on my fridge.
At my last doctor’s visit, though, she told me that she would prefer that I take the requisition off of my fridge and march myself down to the lab. After waiting just four and a half months, I took her advice.
According to this requisition I was supposed to refrain from eating or drinking for twelve hours before they poked me. But when I got to the lab, they said that not only were they going to draw blood, I was going to have to pee in a cup–after not drinking for twelve hours.
I dutifully went and tried to comply, with the water running and a picture of Niagara Falls on my iPhone, hoping for inspiration. Thankfully it struck.
The next day the doctor called and was ever so sorry to inform me that I was rather anemic. Personally, I was ecstatic. There’s nothing horribly wrong with me that would cause it; I simply need to eat more beef and pop a pill. I was worried I was getting lazy because I was so tired all the time. Now I know it’s not my fault. In the broad scheme of things, being a little anemic isn’t nearly as bad as what many people are walking through.
Nevertheless, I can’t ignore things my body is telling me. Once you’re on the other side of forty, you can’t eat chocolate cake for breakfast. And so it is that I am starting to pay attention to what I eat. More protein, fewer carbohydrates. More vegetables, less bread. Most of all, I’m trying to eat what comes out of the ground and not what comes out of a can or a box.
Natural makes sense to me when it comes to food, but I do not believe that natural always means best. The ebola virus is natural. SARS is natural. It is natural for 10% of women to die in childbirth, for premature babies not to make it, and for cancer to kill you. Nature is not always kind, and so I find the fanatic devotion to all things natural to be a little strange. Yes, preservatives and mass production have made us obese, but I think obesity is preferable to starvation.
Besides, we also have little babies living longer, most cancer patients being cured, and infection being halted. Bring on the medical advances!
Health decisions should be based on logic, not emotion. If something works, we should be able to prove it works; otherwise it’s just superstition. I believe that eating natural foods is much better than eating from a box. But I also believe that vaccines have helped more people worldwide than almost any other advance. And after being in Kenya and watching people walk over 60 km to get vaccinated, you realize that it’s only here in North America, where death is not always stalking, that we even have the luxury of debating these things. In most of the world, where life is totally “natural”, and germs lurk in what little water there is, people are doing everything they can to get to a clinic to obtain some of our often derided medical advances.
I’m on that other side of forty. I have to start caring for my body more, and that will include more natural things. But it will not only include natural things, because science has a lot to offer. Let’s take the best of both of worlds, and not pretend that it’s an all or nothing proposition.
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The Now Generation

Every Friday my column appears in a bunch of papers in Ontario and Saskatchewan. This week’s column dealt with things I said in my post on Tuesday, and so I thought I’d rerun one that I really like from back in 2005, about how expectations for quality of life have changed so much in the last decade. I thought it fit in well with this week’s themes about healthy and intentional living with the Ultimate Bundle Sale–86 ebooks, just $29.97! Don’t miss it (it’s only until tomorrow!).
I recently came across an old 1950s knitting pattern book telling women how to copy the latest fashions. In those days, many women just didn’t have the money to buy ready-made clothes, so when they saw something they liked, they knit it or they sewed it. Today, we think all that work means we’re failures. So instead we charge it.
This was brought home to me when I came across an article bemoaning the fact that a new professional graduate, making $35,000 a year, can’t survive, what with $1,500 for rent, $800 for food, and all the other expenses. When I read that chart it seemed to me that the problem was not with the salary; it was with the expenditures. Thrift used to be a virtue, but now we expect to have everything at once. If a single person is spending $800 on food a month, then they’re eating out far too much. It may not be easy, but most of us can live within our means.
It’s not our means that are the problem. Too often it’s the expectations we have for what our lives should be like.
I’m not sure where these expectations came from. We can blame the media and advertising, but they had the media and advertising back in the 1950s, too, and it seems like people were far more willing to live with garage sale items and hand-me-downs a few decades ago than we are now. Perhaps it’s the explosion in credit which makes things possible today that weren’t possible before. Or perhaps it’s always been like this and I’m just a fuddy-duddy. Increasingly I think the latter is probably true on most issues, but let me explore this one a little bit more anyway.
I have lived with a lot, and I have lived with very little, and there are pros and cons to both.
When we lived in a small rental apartment when the kids were young I had no pressure to make things coordinate. I didn’t need matching furniture, or pretty drapes, or dishes to entertain. As long as it was functional and could withstand two toddlers, I was happy.
I think that’s a great period every person should go through. It’s a lot less stress on a marriage when you don’t actually own very much, and you can concentrate on just yourselves. Besides, when you’re not aiming to do things big, little things can make you happy. Remember the joy you once felt at finding some old milk crates at the flea market? Hey, they’re amazing things! They can hold cleaning products under a sink, or they can be used as dressers, or they can hold up some boards and be an improptu bookshelf! And that amazing garage sale kitchen table and chairs we found for $25 served us well for seven years.
Now that we have a house I have become much more conscious about what it looks like because I own it. I have to buy matching furniture, I have to paint, and I have to decorate in ways I didn’t before. In many ways this is satisfying, but in others it adds more pressure. There’s always more I could be doing. Besides, now, when stuff breaks, it’s my problem. I can’t just call the superintendent. I still like owning my own home, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t happy before I had all of these outside trappings in my life.
We make a mistake when we believe we need stuff to make us happy.
Stuff breaks. Stuff can be stolen. Stuff needs to be cleaned. And stuff costs money, especially if you have to buy it on credit. Then, if anything bad happens, you could lose all that stuff you came to treasure.
Besides, on surveys of happiness, stuff plays a very small role. Satisfaction with one’s relationships, one’s jobs, even oneself is much more important. So living within one’s means when everyone else is charging it may not seem fair and it may not seem fun, but ultimately our lives will be a lot easier. Besides, we’re not saying no forever. We’re just saying not now. And there’s nothing at all wrong with that.
Don't miss the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle Sale--86 ebooks, just $29.97! And it includes my book 31 Days to Great Sex, too!

The post The Now Generation appeared first on To Love, Honor and Vacuum.
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November 7, 2013
Joy, Creativity, and Passion: Are They Part of Your Life?
Full confession: Sometimes, when I’m rushed, I take my youngest daughter to McDonald’s for lunch. And I don’t order the salads.
I know it’s terrible nutritionally, but I just really love those fries!
Yet here’s the thing: I also know that when I’m intentional, and not rushed, and I make healthy food for lunch, we feel better. I’m happier about not spending the money; but we also feel better because we get real food, not food whose origin is questionable.
Too often we live life as a REACTION to what is going on around us: we get carried away by things that make us busy, and then we forget to purposefully include things in our lives that bring us joy. We need to be more proactive about including in our lives the things that make us feel healthier, stronger, and important.
I have a dear friend that I’ve been lecturing lately about how she is over-busy. She is pouring out her life for her kids and her husband, but she has no time or energy left for herself. And you can’t keep that up indefinitely. When you try you become bitter, and disillusioned, and incredibly, incredibly tired. We need some time to include in our lives the things that make us feel purposeful, creative, and joyful.
So how can we include more joy in our lives?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Last week I had a phone call from my doctor’s office telling me that the blood tests came back and I was severely anemic. I was so relieved! I’ve been so tired lately and I’ve been worried that it’s been stress or laziness. But it’s just old-fashioned anemia, which has an easy fix.
Perhaps your lethargy doesn’t have as easy a fix, but we can take pains to include more things that bring us joy and purpose in our lives. And last week, as I was reading through the books in the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle Sale (86 ebooks, just $29.97!), they started me brainstorming about more things I want to be purposeful about.
1. Be a Lifelong Learner
Maybe the reason life becomes blah is because there’s nothing NEW. Yet look at the world around you! It’s gorgeous. My husband and I have started bird watching in the last two years and I see nature with new eyes. It was always there; I just never noticed.
When we keep our eyes open, and look at what’s actually around us, instead of rushing through our day, there is so much majesty to behold.
When your kids ask you something and you truly don’t know the answer, admit it. And then discover the answer together. Search the internet, head to your library, head to the museum, or call someone on the phone.
You’ll show your kids that you don’t know everything, and that certain things are worth the trouble to learn. Plus, it’ll be a fun bonding experience to learn something new together.
- Tsh Oxenreider, One Bite at a Time, part of the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle Sale
Do you keep your eyes open as you go through life? Do you make it a point of learning a new craft, a new fact, a new hobby? Do you enjoy discovering more about God’s creation? When we think of life as this journey where we get to know and explore more of what God has made, and less about rushing through the time He’s given us, we awake wonder. And wonder is such a part of joy!
2. Embrace Rest
The very first day of Adam’s life on earth was a day of rest. He was created on the sixth day; on the seventh he was commanded to rest.
That’s really profound.
Think about it: we usually think of rest as a REACTION to work: we grow tired, so we have to rest. But what if rest is important, in and of itself? What if there is something key about rest, and we were created for it?
Do you let yourself rest on Sundays? Do you let yourself sit down, put your feet up, and just think throughout the day? Do you allow yourself to leave your to-do list not done, and just do a craft sometimes?
The thing is though, I have felt this weariness before – in simpler seasons – and I know the real problem is not the size of my plate or the responsibilities piled on top of it. The real issue lies in the fact that I am absolutely trying to pour out in so many areas of my life without being refreshed myself. And I can’t keep going on like that.
- Refresh by Hayley Morgan and Jessi Connolly, part of the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle Sale
3. Embrace God
How can you feel at peace if you aren’t in communication with the One who made you? Perhaps the reason we often feel so out of sorts is because we push aside the One who wants to show us what He has for us. So often I feel out of sorts and like something just isn’t right when I let days go by without making time to just LISTEN to Him.
I am not a happy person. I generally don’t wake up excited to see the sun rise, breakfast, or even my children. If things revolved around Jodi, there would be silence for the first two hours after I have woken up from my slumber. My chai would be waiting for me on the stove, ready to be strained; and the dog wouldn’t take my place on the couch before I arrived. Everyone would give me the head nod as they came down the stairs and I would reciprocate. Each individual would file into their allocated quiet-time spot and that angelic spiritual silence would prevail for the next hour and forty-five minutes.
It’s not that I don’t love the humans in my house. I do. But for me to be moderately pleasant to be around . . . I cling to moments of quiet, being physically alone, and quality time in the Word of God.
Once upon a time, my ideal existed. But then these little miracles kept arriving.
Called children. I wouldn’t have it any other way. BUT . . . I can still savor and enjoy quiet, the velvety touch of Scripture brushing against my soul, and a hot cuppa beside me.
The Essential Oilers’ Handbook, part of the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle Sale
4. Entice Your Sense of Smell
Passion is tied in to our senses, and it makes sense: Passion is the ultimate in experiencing deeply. And we can’t experience what we don’t sense. Too often we live life almost entirely in our heads: we think about things, but we don’t sit back and just experience things. And for passion, we need to experience it.
So part of living a big life, I think, is letting ourselves smell the flowers.
Smell is the sense most linked to memory. It can take you back to a lovely Thanksgiving dinner, or a campfire, or a romantic evening. But do you fill your home with lovely fragrances?
I used to make homemade beauty products, and when I read through the books in the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle it reminded me of all the essential oils I still have in my storage room. So I have some lovely lavender and chamomile diffusing now.
Get some essential oils. Make some potpourri. Use lovely bath salts. Make some cookies! Fill your home with fragrance. It’s not being vain or wasting time on yourself; it’s allowing yourself to live life more fully–and more passionately.
5. Entice Your Sense of Taste
I’m addicted to Diet Pepsi. It’s a sad thing and I’m not proud of it. I know that aspartame will eventually rot my brain. I know the caffeine is part of what’s making me not sleep at night. Yet all too often I do nothing about it.
If I want to live life fully, though, do I really want to spend it tasting a fake soda pop? Or do I want to spend it tasting something wonderful that God made?
Here’s a little change I’m making: I’m going to start drinking teas at night. I want to train myself to crave different tastes, instead of the same old one. And then maybe I’ll start to enjoy more of life, instead of living by habit.
There is nothing like wrapping your hands around a warm cup of tea and savoring a special moment with a friend.
Katherine Stanley, Steeped: Simply Nourishing Teas and Treats, part of the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle
6. Entice Your Sense of Touch
Look at your hands. Are they chapped? Is your skin itchy? Is it dry and wrinkled?
I get horribly dry skin every winter, and I’m starting to feel it. The weather has turned up here in the Great White North, and the itchiness is beginning again.
I’m actually grateful for my itchy skin, because it has made it impossible for me NOT to use lovely creams on myself. If I don’t, I’m a hideous scratching mess. And so I have luxurious lotions that I put on every morning after my shower, and every evening before I go to bed. They feel lovely; they smell lovely.
Do you care for your skin? Do you let yourself feel pampered? It’s through our skin that we experience the world. Don’t treat it lightly. And little feels as relaxing as a good cream.
My feet appreciate a good foot scrub. This scrub not only helps to exfoliate my feet, but it also leaves them nicely moisturized.
- Sandra Calixto, Homemade Health and Beauty, part of the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle
7. Eat!
Do we spend so much energy trying NOT to eat that we forget that eating is actually a good thing? It’s not like our goal should be 0 calories a day; food is good for you–as long as you eat the right kind of food, at the right time.
I’m actually getting quite good at eating properly. We’re on a bit of a Real Food kick, and I’m trying to avoid that McDonald’s.
But while I make great dinners, there’s one meal I fail miserably at. Breakfast.
I’m always in a rush to get the day started, and cooking breakfast seems like too much work. Yet if we don’t start well, how do we expect to have a productive day when we experience life?
Why do we choose cop-out foods at breakfast time that don’t nourish us well? Here’s the real issue: more than any other meal or snacktime, we eat breakfast according to our habits. It’s the meal that we typically eat while half-asleep and in a rush, so we usually do it without thinking. That’s why it is absolutely critical to think about it ahead of time.
- Beth Ricci, The Breakfast Revolution, part of the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle Sale
8. Make Love
Finally, how can we live a life of real passion and joy if we don’t give energy to our sexual side? We were created to be passionate. We were created to feel pleasure. And we were created to feel truly intimate with another person.
Do we deprive ourselves of the real joy that can come from the sexual side of marriage because we’re a little scared of losing control? Maybe it’s time we realized that passion can’t be tamed. It’s supposed to be a little out of control–because life is meant to be experienced and savoured, not just rushed through.
Sex is rather awkward. It’s messy. You’re all sweaty, and there’s stuff to clean up afterwards. And sometimes it just doesn’t seem, well, proper. And so it’s easy for all too many of us to think, “sex is something we have to do to make babies, but it’s really best not to dwell on it too much.” Women, especially, like feeling in control, clean, and organized. Sex doesn’t fit into that mold.
Maybe it’s time to throw out the mold. Sex is supposed to be a little messy. Sex is supposed to make you vulnerable, and a little out of control. It’s not supposed to be clinical!
- Sheila Wray Gregoire, 31 Days to Great Sex, part of the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle Sale
Are you Experiencing Life?
If life feels too much like it’s happening to you, and not enough like you’re savouring it, make a change. You can’t do everything at once, but look at that list of 8 things, and ask yourself: where am I really denying myself?
Learning
Rest
Time with God
Enjoying Fragrance
Enjoying Taste
Enjoying Touch
Enjoying Food
Making Love
Live a big life! You may just find that by “turning on” one of those areas of your life, everything else seems a little bit brighter.
Now let me know in the comments: what one do you feel you need to emphasize more?
Don’t miss the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle Sale! 86 ebooks, just $29.97. Plus lots of bonuses! A 97% savings. But only until Saturday!
The post Joy, Creativity, and Passion: Are They Part of Your Life? appeared first on To Love, Honor and Vacuum.
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November 6, 2013
Wifey Wednesday: The Courage To Change The Things You Can
It’s Wednesday, the day when we talk marriage! I write a post, and then you all chime in by linking up your own marriage posts to the Linky below!
Do you remember the prayer of St. Francis?

Serenity Prayer from Dayspring
That’s a lot of brilliance right there.
I receive tons of emails everyday from women who are hurting in their marriages: their husbands are using porn, or never show them affection, or won’t get a job. Some of the problems seem overwhelming.
And so today, I’d like to challenge you: What CAN you change?
We’re in the middle of the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle Sale, a one-week sale where you can purchase 86 amazing ebooks, and tons of bonuses, for just $29.97. As I was reading through so many of the books over the last week, it started me brainstorming about the many different ways that we can start developing new habits and doing new things that can make our marriages–and our families–healthier and happier, even if your husband doesn’t change. But it doesn’t stop there. As I say repeatedly in my book, To Love, Honor and Vacuum, when you start to make changes, he’ll likely make changes in return. You’re changing the dynamic in your marriage, and that’s going to stir things up! So take the initiative and DO something different.
Yesterday I was talking about choosing to eat better and actually take care of our bodies. Today I want to talk about relationship dynamics.
Here are just a few areas where little changes can often go a long way:
1. Put First Things First
Do you know when I feel the most stressed and annoyed at my husband and kids? When I feel like my to-do list is a million miles long and I’m not done it yet.
But why does my to-do list come before the family?
For me it’s email. I try to keep my inbox under a certain number everyday, and if it goes over that I go antsy.
When did it become the mark of a successful day if I got through all my e-mail? When did that trump laundry folding or book reading? I don’t feel guilty when I go to bed and my dishes aren’t perfectly stacked in evenly spaced rows, or the spines of our books aren’t perfectly aligned on the shelf. So why does my stomach churn when I open my inbox and see e-mail that I still haven’t opened? It’s really not that big a deal, when you think about it.
- Tsh Oxenreider, One Bite at a Time, part of the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle Sale
She’s right! I feel such freedom in reading those words.
Ask Yourself: What task can you NOT leave undone–even if your preoccupation with it drives everyone crazy?
Now let me ask YOU this: Are you allowing that task, or series of tasks, steal you away from your family? Are you letting that task influence your mood and attitude towards your family (“Why am I the only one who ever folds laundry? Why can’t everyone else fold laundry? Everybody is so ungrateful! No, I can’t come play a board game when all this mess is here. Don’t you all see the mess?”)
Of course there’s a fine balance: we have to keep an organized home, and we also have to involve other people in doing those chores as well. But let’s remember that people always come first, and if you’re living your life in a constant state of annoyance, DO something. Teach your kids to do chores and find an allowance system that works. Get more organized yourself. But above all, remember that people come first, and do not allow a task to make you into a dragon towards your spouse.
2. Work at It!
Now, this one may seem to violate point 1, but hear me out for a second. Why is it that we let the laundry, the email, the dirty dishes make us grumpy? Because we’re allowing external things to determine our mood. We aren’t living life–we’re reacting to what’s around us.
To live life involves two steps: the first is putting those first things first. The second is to develop some discipline. No, those things aren’t going to dictate our mood. But they’re also not going to become overwhelming in the first place.
Ask Yourself: Is there an area of my life where more discipline would also make me more peaceful, more organized, and less chaotic?
My life isn’t disciplined, and it’s my fault. And I could wallow in frustration over my shortcomings and failures. But instead, I want to let that frustration motivate me. I am the problem, but I am also the solution.
- Crystal Paine, 21 Days to a More Disciplined Life, Part of the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle Sale
Crystal Paine’s 21 Days to a More Disciplined Life is quite simply amazing. I love this book! I’m going to start my 21 days as soon as I’m back from a speaking tour in Michigan next week, but I’m already planning on how to put some things into practice. I really think this can make a difference.
Please listen to me, ladies: So often our lack of discipline and lack of organization actually aggravate our relationship problems. If you’re miserable in your marriage, could it be that part of that is because you’re chronically miserable with your life because you don’t have a handle on it?
I know some marriage problems can’t be fixed by just getting more discipline or starting to go to bed at a decent time or being deliberate about everyday tasks. But it can’t hurt. And if you do get more disciplined, and more peaceful, you will also be able to tackle those bigger marriage problems–ones like porn or parenting–so much more easily.
Most relationship problems don’t start as relationship problems. They start as internal problems. We’re not happy with ourselves, and we turn it outward. Don’t do that. Put first things first, and then also commit to being more purposeful in your everyday life.
3. Love Your Husband
Sometimes husbands have big issues that absolutely need to be dealt with–like porn use, affairs, or other addictions. The vast majority of the problems in marriage, though, are far smaller. We simply drift apart because we don’t put enough work in. We feel upset because he’s not affectionate so we withdraw. That in turn causes him to withdraw. And so on, and so on, and so on. We go on for years of unmet needs, and soon resentment builds. Bitterness builds.
Ask yourself: Are we drifting apart, or am I being purposeful in loving my husband?
I spend so much of this blog talking about how we can grow love and keep love. I truly believe that sex is a key part of that. God made sex to unite us intimately, not just physically. And when sex falls by the wayside, you will feel separate. Sex can’t heal that is wrong in a marriage, but it sure can cover over a multitude of sins, and build up the goodwill and affection between you enough that you can tackle some of those other things.
Are you putting a priority on sex?
Sex is the physical acting out of everything that marriage is. We become vulnerable with one another. We become naked with one another completely– and that means real intimacy, not just physical intimacy. We cherish each other. We protect each other. But we also have a ton of fun with each other!
- Sheila Wray Gregoire, 31 Days to Great Sex, part of the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle Sale
If you don’t know where to start, may I humbly suggest 31 Days to Great Sex? It isn’t 31 Days OF Great Sex. I’m not making you have sex everyday! It’s 31 days of exercises that draw you closer together in every way in the bedroom–physically, spiritually, and sexually. And if your marriage has become blah, and you find yourself getting annoyed too fast, this really can help.
Already have it? You can give away the copy in the bundle to a friend who could use a boost!
And remember it makes an awesome Stocking Stuffer for your hubby! Just print out one of the coupons I have here, and then slip it in his stocking telling him what you have planned!
4. Choose To Do Something Today
Your life will not magically get better on its own. Your marriage will not magically improve. You need to do what is in your power to do.
But you don’t have to do it alone! If you need some daily inspiration, the books in the bundle sale will not disappoint.
I love Crystal Paine’s book on discipline, but there are also books on eating well, raising healthy kids, living a green lifestyle, and more!
You get 86 ebooks for just $29.97–plus tons of bonuses and enrollment in Coffee Table Conversations, your chance to ask experts anything! It’s so worth it.
If you’re not sure how to read ebooks, or how to transfer them onto your particular device, all the info you need is here. It really is easy!
Don’t miss this bundle–it goes away Saturday at midnight. I know you’ll love it, just as I have!
Now, what advice do you have for us today? Leave the URL of a marriage post in the linky below! And be sure to link back here so other people can read awesome marriage posts, too.
The post Wifey Wednesday: The Courage To Change The Things You Can appeared first on To Love, Honor and Vacuum.
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November 5, 2013
The Skeptical Real Foodie–But I’m Giving it a Try!
It’s the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle Sale this week, and I think I’m actually an odd one to talk to you about it, because I’m a severely conflicted person when it comes to Real Food/Healthy Eating.
On the one hand, I love the idea of real food. And on our trips to Kenya, when we’ve eaten nothing for two weeks except for fresh vegetables, I’ve always felt amazing–so much better than when I pepper my menu with fast food.
On the other hand, I also believe that modern medicine has done wonders, and I am a big believer in the scientific method. If something truly is healthy, then studies should show that it is. So, in general, I’m very wary of anything that says that wholly natural is the way to go. I love real foods; but I also love medicine. Thus, I often find that I don’t truly fit in either camp.
Because of that perhaps I tend too far towards the “herbal stuff is hooey” side. I don’t like it when people make claims they can’t back up, especially when they start saying that doctors are all evil and they don’t know what they’re talking about (my husband has saved countless lives as a doctor, and I saw how hard he studied. He knows what he’s talking about).
Yet increasingly, as I age, I’m starting to realize that I do have to pay more attention to what I put into my body.
It started with my oldest daughter, who decided that she was going to eat nothing but real foods. I didn’t think it would be that big a change for us, and I wanted to support her, but then I realized how much white rice we ate. And she even wanted to banish soya sauce!
When we went camping it was even harder. Camping is always the time of year when we eat terribly. I give myself an excuse to buy all those packaged foods I don’t normally buy–Hamburger Helper, Chunky Soup, Vegetable Soup. We don’t eat out of boxes and cans that much, but when camping: keep it coming!
Yet this summer I abided by her wishes and left that stuff on the shelf. We filled our trailer with tons of veggies and meat instead. And lo and behold, it actually tasted quite good.
I’ve tried to keep it up, and though my youngest daughter and I still succumb to fast food a little too much, we have embraced a healthier diet. I think that’s important, because what I’ve noticed is that so much of my lethargy, and my depression, and even occasional headaches can be traced back to eating crap. When my insides go wonky, it’s likely because I’ve eaten something that isn’t actually food.
And so when I was asked to be part of the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle Sale, I was excited–because I thought it would help me on the road to making this transformation in our lives. I need more energy. My kids need more energy. I need to be careful of developing osteoperosis. And I tend to be iron deficient. I can’t just fill my mouth with ANYTHING–I need to be intentional.
I spent last week giddy like a little kid at Christmas reading through the books from the Bundle, and I want to tell you about a few of the ones that have to do with food today. Not all of them do–there are also books on gardening, clean living, raising healthy kids, stress, and even marriage (that’s why 31 Days to Great Sex is in it!). But I was especially excited about the food ones because I’m in the middle of this transformation.
Remember, there are 86 ebooks in the bundle–plus your chance to be part of the “Coffee Table Conversations” with some of the experts in these very fields. And there are tons of free bonuses, too! I’m only telling you about 3 books today, but I think they’re worth the bundle price themselves!

She tells us what real food is, how to find it without wrecking your budget, what to steer clear of, and how to create meals your family will love.
I thought about this paragraph for quite a while after reading it:
It is rather astounding to consider, but North America is a continent full of overweight and yet highly malnourished people! We stuff ourselves full of food, but our bodies continue to cry out for the nutrition that they not only crave but desperately need in order to perform essential bodily functions and to keep us in good health and full of energy. We might wonder why people overeat to such a large degree. It becomes easier to understand when you think about the fact that the body was not meant to be sustained on mere calories, but on a multitude of different vitamins, minerals, macro and micro nutrients that fulfill very specific duties. When they are not present in the diet, our bodies send the message “keep going-‐‑ I don’t have what I need yet”.
Isn’t that the truth? We eat things that have no nutritional value–like a bag of chips–and then we’re hungry again quite soon. We need to change this pattern. If you need motivation, Stephanie can help!
Better Than the Box by Katie Kimball
Okay, this book is just too good. It was THIS book that made me purchase a SECOND bundle. (Full disclosure: I got one bundle free, but I loved this book so much I wanted to give it to my daughter who just moved away to university!)
It’s totally practical, absolutely brilliant, and rather beautiful on the inside to boot.
Katie begins by telling us that tons of the recipes that we love to make, our staple “go to” meals, use ingredients from a box or can that are TERRIBLE for us. So how can we “reverse engineer” those meals so we don’t need those boxes or cans?
It all started when she tried to recreate her mother-in-law’s “basic pepper steak” recipe, which required onion soup mix. But she made the mistake of looking at the ingredients:
onions, salt, cornstarch, sugar, caramel (color), corn syrup solids, yeast extract, natural flavor
Basically onions with a whole lot of filler. Do you really need that?
She figured out how to recreate the taste by caramelizing 2 onions and adding a pinch of molasses and salt. Much better for you! And so she began to tackle other recipes, until she created a book that is over 200 pages chock full of great tips, cooking explanations, and tons of recipes.
Honestly, this is the only cookbook anyone would need, because it goes over how to store food, what different herbs are used for, and more.
And she recreates everything from Cream of Whatever Soup to Barbecue Sauce to whatever you often throw in. And it’s so much easier, cheaper, and healthier! I use so much Cream of Whatever soups in my cooking (it’s pretty much the only canned item I still buy), so I’m thrilled to be able to ditch that, too. Some of her motivating philosophies are C.O.S.T.–Cook Once, Serve Twice–and C.O.R.N.–Clean out the Refrigerator Night. If we do these two things, we’ll use up our food, and we’ll spend less time cooking. I love it!
In fact, last night I did a “C.O.R.N.” meal! I’m leaving tomorrow morning for a tour in Michigan, giving my Girl Talk, and I wanted to leave my family some leftovers. But I also knew that they likely wouldn’t use up a lot of the veggies that were in the fridge while I was gone. So I made chili with ONLY real food–tomatoes, dried kidney beans (I finally used up all that was left in my jar! I don’t want to know how old those beans were), 4 tomatoes, ground beef, half an onion, lots of garlic, carrots, celery, and mushrooms. And then I threw in some frozen corn. It was awfully good, and now my fridge looks a lot better.
She spends the first third of the book teaching YOU how she “reverse engineers” things, so that you’ll have the skills to do it yourself. Then she provides all the recipes she’s already figured out. It’s brilliant! And she teaches you how to think about all the stuff you have lurking in your cupboard and fridge, so that you can use it up, too.
Savings Alert from the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle
The bundle costs $29.97. This book alone will save you that much–by teaching you how to spend less on groceries and use up what you have in interesting ways.
From Garbage to Gourmet by Carrie Isaac
I don’t know if I like this book because it teaches you to be healthy or if I like it because I’m basically cheap. I use cloth everything, not only because I want to help the environment, but mostly because I can’t bear to pay money for disposable things.
And we treat our food like so much of it is “disposable”! Carrie writes,
Americans waste about 25% of their food purchases every day, an equivalent of wasting over $1,300 per year for the average family. Frustrated with the amount you spend on groceries? Think about how much you could save by wasting less.
She gives tons of amazing tips on how to use up the stuff that you would normally throw away. One big tip: Keep a tupperware container or Ziploc bag in an easy-to-access place in your freezer for broth ingredients–anything you could throw into beef broth or chicken broth. Then throw stuff in there! Bones from plates, certainly, but also things we wouldn’t normally think of, like broccoli stalks, carrot ends (even carrot peels!), celery leaves and the bottoms of celery stalks, and more. She says that she hasn’t used “real” vegetables for stock for years, and it still tastes amazing! All that stuff we normally toss still has flavour. If you wash it well, it’s perfectly fine.
Another tip: substitute ripe avocado for some of the oil in brownies. No one will know the difference once they’re baked! And you can sneak shredded zucchini in just about everything.
It’s a truly beautiful book, full of lovely pictures, that will make you excited to use your garbage! Citrus peels? Soak them in vinegar for a month and now you have a great cleaner to get rid of all that greasy grime that builds up on ovens and ranges. Too many herbs? Chop them and freeze them with water in ice cube trays.
I’m excited to try so much of these things–and stop throwing so much out.
Savings Alert from the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle
This book will save you more than the $29.97 by teaching you how NOT to throw out 25% of your food! That’s a savings of over $1000 a year for most families!
How Do I Get These Books?
It’s easy! They’re all part of the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle–and when you purchase it, you get 86 ebooks, plus all of the bonuses, for just $29.97. But only until Saturday at midnight EST!
Rather pay by Paypal? Do it here! (Or if you’re not from North America, this link may work better).
Why Ebooks?
It’s quite simple, really. They’re a lot cheaper to produce, so you can buy more for less money! We could never do a bundle like this if they were paperbacks, because of the cost of production. But it’s not just that. It’s also because:
You can keep thousands of books on one little device–and always have your library with you.
You can buy books without worrying, “will these fit on the bookshelf?”
Want a book? You can get it in under a minute. No more having to head to the store!
You can use a “search” function to find specific things in the book–unlike a paperback that you have to thumb through.
I still like to read some of my favourite novels in paperback, but I’m finding that increasingly I prefer my iPad. Another bonus: It lights up, so I can read without the light on!
How Do I Read Them?
You can read them right on your computer if you want, or print some out (some of the books are even “printable” planners).
Want information on how to transfer these books to your iPad, iPhone, Kindle, Nook, or other reader? Here’s the FAQ page that will talk you through all of it. It’s actually quite easy.
This Sale is Only on Until Saturday–
After that, the books go back to their regular price. So pick up yours today!
Rather pay by Paypal? Do it here! (Or if you’re not from North America, this link may work better).
The post The Skeptical Real Foodie–But I’m Giving it a Try! appeared first on To Love, Honor and Vacuum.
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November 4, 2013
The Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle is Here!
I’m so excited that the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle is now on sale! I’ve been talking about it for weeks; now it’s here!
I just love bundle sales, because you get SO MANY ebooks at a really inexpensive price. This one includes my book 31 Days to Great Sex, but it also has 85 other amazing books to help you live a healthy lifestyle. I drown myself in a bunch of them last weekend and I was so impressed.
Even if you already have 31 Days to Great Sex, you’ll find that there is more than enough in this bundle to make it worthwhile. (And you can always give away your new copy of 31 Days to Great Sex)! In fact, if you just LOVE 3-4 of the books, and would have bought them anyway, it’s like you’re getting another 82 for free. My personal favourites–that I think are worth every penny of the $29.97 price, would be One Bite at a Time, the Essential Oilers Handbook, The Breakfast Revolution, and From Garbage to Gourmet.
In fact, there are so many awesome books that the Ultimate Bundle people have decided to put together for you.
Here’s how they explain it:
Providing you with fabulously useful eBook resources is what we, the team behind Ultimate Bundles, are all about. This year we decided to throw caution to the wind and make the package more of a no-brainer than ever before.
What’s in the Bundle?
We took 86 eBooks (plus 1 eCourse) by popular bloggers on topics like real food & recipes, green living, natural cleaning and beauty, mental and emotional health, fitness, herbal remedies and more.
Then we added the brand new “Coffee Table Conversations,” a 12-week series of author mentorship through interactive online conference calls and private support groups.
We finished it off with 9 bonus sponsors offering you $150+ of incredible products and services to help you along your way. This includes bonuses like $25.98 of FREE eco-friendly laundry detergent from Dizolve (because we all need clean clothes).
This bonus nearly makes up for the entire cost of the bundle!
How Much Does the Bundle Cost?
Ultimate: Maximum; decisive; conclusive. The best or most extreme of its kind.
We wouldn’t call it the “ultimate” bundle if it wasn’t true.
As our hard-working team pulled together the Ultimate Healthy Living 2013 Bundle Sale, we had 3 basic goals: to put a comprehensive health library at your fingertips, to offer something for everyone, and to provide so much value for an itty-bitty price that it would be irresistible.
In a nutshell? This bundle is brimming with more than 80 ebook and ecourse resources, from authors and bloggers known as authorities in their fields.
For less than $30, you can pick up your own bundle complete with more than $800 of ebooks, $67 of interactive “coffee table conversations” with their authors, and $158 of products and services to help you on your way toward healthier living. That’s over a $1,000 value!
Don’t wait! This bundle is available for only 6 days, from 8 a.m. (EST) on Monday, November 4th to 11:59pm (EST) on Saturday, November 9th.
Get yours now for just $29.97!
What’s Included in the eBook Library? ($800+ value)
Real Food Cookbooks
The Breakfast Revolution by Beth @ Red and Honey ($8.95)
The Veggie Book by Danielle, Sara, and Debra @ More Than Four Walls, Your Thriving Family, and Sweet Kisses and Dirty Dishes ($9.95)
Much Ado About Chicken by Debra @ Sweet Kisses and Dirty Dishes ($8.95)
Nourishing Cookies for a Healthy Holiday by Diana @ My Humble Kitchen ($4.99)
Wholesome Comfort by Kate @ Modern Alternative Mama ($8.95)
Kitchen Stewardship ($16.95)
Steeped: Simple Nourishing Teas and Treats by Katie @ Nourishing Simplicity ($9.95)
Easy and Healthy Slow Cooker Recipes by Kelly @ New Leaf Wellness ($5.99)
15-Minute Freezer Recipes by Kelly @ New Leaf Wellness ($5.99)
Healthy Ice Pops and Frozen Treats @ The Nourishing Home ($4.99)
Fresh: Nourishing Salads for All Seasons by Kimberly @ The Nourishing Gourmet ($18.99)
Whole Breakfasts and Breads by Rachel @ Titus 2 Homemaker ($2.99)
Eat This: Meal Salads & Whole Food Dressings by Renee @ FIMBY ($4.99)
Simple. Healthy. Tasty. by Tammie @ Simple. Healthy. Tasty. ($9.95)
High Protein, No Powder: Protein Bars and Smoothies Made with Real Food by Tiffany @ Don’t Waste the Crumbs ($8.00)
Dehydrating by Wardee @ GNOWFGLINS ($20.00)
Allergy-Friendly/Special Diets
Baking with Quinoa by Alyssa @ Queen of Quinoa ($7.99)
Family Friendly Allergen-Free by Kerry Ann @ Intentionally Domestic ($14.95)
Affordable Gluten Free Dinners by Kimberlee @ The Peaceful Mom ($5.95)
Sweet Freedom: Desserts You’ll Love without Wheat, Eggs, Dairy or Refined Sugars by Ricki @ Ricki Heller ($14.95)
Weeding Out Wheat by Luke and Trisha @ Intoxicated on Life ($14.95)

Meals ePlanner by Jennifer @ List Plan It ($5.00)
Cottage Mama Plans Her Spring Menu by Kristy @ Little Natural Cottage ($3.95)
Cottage Mama Plans Her Homeschool Menu by Kristy @ Little Natural Cottage ($3.95)
Cottage Mama Plans Her Summer Menu by Kristy @ Little Natural Cottage ($3.95)
40 Real Food Weekly Menu Plan Ideas Packet by Laura @ Heavenly Homemakers ($5.00)
Natural Skincare
Salve Made Simple by Jennifer @ Hybrid Rasta Mama ($7.95)
My Buttered Life: Personal Care edition by Renee @ MadeOn Skin Care ($5.00)
Natural Beauty Guide by Katie @ Wellness Mama ($14.00)
Homemade Health & Beauty: 21 Simple Do-It-Yourself Recipes for Products You Use Everyday by Sandra @ The Sensible Mom ($4.99)
Natural Health
The {essential} Oiler’s Handbook compiled by Organic Collective Media @ Naturally His ($9.99)
Easy Health For Busy Moms by Kelly @ Generation Cedar ($4.97)
Common Sense Homesteading ($8.95)
Using Essential Oils Safely by Lea @ Learning About EOs ($6.99)
A Beginner’s Guide to Assembling a Natural Medicine Cabinet by Marci @ Thankful Homemaker ($2.99)
Essential Chefs: A Beginner’s Guide to Using Essential Oils in Your Kitchen by Mary and Kayla @ The Encouraging Home and Kayla Howard ($27.00)
Herbal Adventures: A Pocket Guide of Seasonal Natural Remedies by Michele @ Frugal Granola ($6.50)
Mother’s Little Herbal Helper and Home Remedies by Natalie @ The Family Herbalist ($12.50)
Herbal Remedies for Children During the Cold and Flu Season by Rosalee @ Herbal Remedies Advice ($19.99)
Questions to Ask Your Dentist by Will and Susan @ OraWellness ($29.00)
Healthy Lifestyle
Finding Joy in Depression by Amanda @ The Pelsers ($4.99)
Find Your Balance by Bernice @ The Stressed Mom ($4.99)
A Simple Marriage by Corey @ Simple Marriage ($4.99)
21 Days to a More Disciplined Life by Crystal @ Money Saving Mom ($4.99)
The Refresh Book by Hayley and Jessi @ The Influence Conference and naptime diaries ($7.99)
Personal ePlanner by Jennifer @ List Plan It ($5.00)
7 Days to Calm: a guided video course by Lisa @ WellGrounded Life ($37.00)
The UnWired Mom by Sarah Mae @ Sarah Mae ($4.99)
31 Days to Great Sex by Sheila @ To Love, Honor and Vacuum ($4.99) (THAT’S ME!!!)
One Bite at a Time by Tsh @ Simple Mom ($5.00)
Life As Mom ($9.00)
Fitness
Arabah Joy ($2.99)
42 Days to Fit by Brandy, Stacy, and Emma @ The Marathon Mom, A Delightful Home, and Better With Cake ($4.99)
Fat Proof Your Kids by Terri @ The Laundry Moms ($2.99)
A Fat-Proof Meal Plan by Terri @ The Laundry Moms ($2.99)
Gardening/Sustainability
The Gardening Notebook by Angi @ SchneiderPeeps ($9.95)
From Garbage to Gourmet by Carrie @ Colorado Bargains Network ($9.99)
Apartment Gardening by Jami @ Young Wife’s Guide ($5.95)
How to Grow and Use Culinary Herbs by Olivia @ Teaching Good Things ($4.97)
Emergency Preparedness by Toni @ A Bowl Full of Lemons ($10.00)
Green Living
Green Your Life: A Guide to Natural, Eco-Friendly Living by Emily @ Live Renewed ($8.99)
Accidentally Green by Hilary @ Accidentally Green ($2.99)
Clean, Naturally! by Kresha @ Nourishing Joy ($4.99)
Simple & Natural Green Cleaning Guide by Stacy @ A Delightful Home ($2.99)
DIY Natural Household Cleaners: How To Make Your Own Cleaners Naturally by Matt and Betsy @ DIYNatural ($9.99)
Special Health Concerns
Sugar Detox Challenge by Donielle @ Natural Fertility and Wellness ($4.95)
Eat Your Way to Parenthood by Gabriela @ Natural Fertility Breakthrough ($35.00)
Farewell, Fatigue by MaryEllen @ Imperfect Homemaker ($6.99)
Pain Redeemed: when our deepest sorrows meet God by Natasha @ natasha metzler ($4.99)
Healing Candida with Food by Paula @ Whole Intentions ($17.95)
The 60 Day Juice Fast by Steve @ The Male Domain ($2.99)
Infertility: a Silent Suffering and a God Who Hears by Whitney @ Beauty in the Mess ($2.99)
Healthy Kids & Babies
Love Your Mayhem by Amy @ Adorable Chaos ($3.99)
Winter Nature Study – Outdoor Hour Challenge by Barbara @ Handbook of Nature Study ($8.95)
Early Potty Teaching: A Natural and Gentle Way to Potty Train Your Little One by Becky @ Purposeful Homemaking ($3.99)
Stitching Hearts Together ($14.95)
The Humbled Homemaker ($12.50)
Warning: I Throw Food—A Comprehensive Guide to Natural Homemade Baby Food by Jami @ Young Wife’s Guide ($9.99)
Parent’s Playbook for Learning by Jen @ Kidzmet ($3.99)
Creative Christian Mama ($6.99)
Fearless Birth by Kristen @ Natural Birth and Baby Care.com ($17.00)
My Pregnancy Journey by Mindy @ Simply Designs ($10.00)
Natural Birth Stories: The Real Mom’s Guide to an Empowering Natural Birth by Shannon @ GrowingSlower ($9.95)
Shield: A Framework of Self-Care for Foster and Adoptive Families by Sharla @ The Chaos and The Clutter ($3.00)

Real Food for the Real Homemaker by Jami, Elsie, and Jamie @ Young Wife’s Guide, Richly Rooted, and Jaimie Ramsey ($12.95)
A Practical Guide to Real Food for Women Who Love to Eat & Want to Lose Weight by Kayla @ Kayla Howard ($27.00)
Real Food on a Real Budget by Stephanie @ Keeper of the Home ($18.97)
What are Coffee Table Conversations? ($67 value)
For 12 weeks starting in January 2014, we’ll offer a series of weekly one-hour live conference calls, where you can join in and ask your questions on relevant and timely healthy living topics to a panel of eBook authors.
We’ll look at issues like allergy-friendly cooking, fighting fatigue (and finding energy!), eating well on a tight budget, an introduction to alternative health and herbal remedies, and tips and tricks for making real food in less time. You’ll be able to listen to authors converse with each other on any (or all) of the 12 calls that you choose to take part in, and get answers to your questions in real time!
We’ll also provide a private Facebook group, where that week’s “mentors” will pop in as often as they can and chat with you on the topics at hand. Talk about up-close and personal learning!
What are the Healthy Living Bonus Offers? ($150+ value)
Dizolve—A FREE 128 Load Twin-Pack of Dizolve Natural Laundry Detergent. Dizolve laundry detergent strips are an innovative, phosphate-free way to clean your clothes. ($25.98 Value. Standard shipping rates apply. Limited to the first 5,000.)
Bulk Herb Store—An instant download of their instructional video Making Herbs Simple Volume 1 for only 1 cent. ($14.95 Value. No shipping restrictions.)
Wise Choice Market—A FREE $15 store credit to be used at Wise Choice Market on the Finest Real Food around, including traditionally-made bone broths, organic fermented vegetables, wild salmon, sprouted breads, and many more. ($15.00 Value. Standard shipping rates and restrictions apply.)
Fit2Be Studio—A FREE Two-Month Membership to Fit2B Studio (for new members) where their wholesome workouts for the whole family are TummySafe™and particularly target Diastasis Recti. Current members may apply the coupon code for $20 off a 1-year membership. ($19.98 value. No shipping restrictions.)
Jenuinely Pure—A FREE $15 store credit to be used at Jenuinely Pure on the beautifully-crafted natural skincare products. Make the switch to natural skincare with Jenuinely Pure. ($15.00 Value. Standard shipping rates apply.)
Plan To Eat—A FREE 4-Month www.plantoeat.com subscription. Plan to Eat is an online menu planner that uses your recipes scheduled when you want them — and they make your grocery list! ($19.80 value. No shipping restrictions. New accounts only. Offer expires Dec.15)
TrilLight Health—FREE $15 store credit to be used toward Trilight Health‘s Fast-Acting, Great Tasting Liquid Herbal Formulas, or anything else in their store. ($15.00 Value. Standard shipping rates apply.)
List Planit—Your choice of 3 FREE ePlanners OR a 3-Month FREE Trial Membership to ListPlanIt, where you can organize your life with hundreds of lists that you can create and manage at home or on the go. ($15.00 value. No shipping restrictions.)
Cultures for Health—A FREE sourdough or kombucha starter from Cultures For Health PLUS a $5 credit to put toward anything else in store. (up to a $17.95 Value. Both the starter and the $5 credit can be used in the same order! Standard shipping rates apply.)
Here’s how excited I am about the value in this bundle:
Important stuff you might want to know
Read the fine print. The details matter!
Check out our Frequently Asked Question page, particularly to learn about file types, how downloading works, transferring to eReader devices, redeeming bonus offers, and all that good stuff.
Remember, this bundle is available for only 6 days, from 8 a.m. (EST) on Monday, November 4th to 11:59pm (EST) on Saturday, November 9th.
Affiliate disclaimer: I am an affiliate for the Ultimate Bundle and for some individual items.
I know you’re going to love this bundle, so pick one up today! I know a bunch of people missed our Ultimate Homemaking Bundle in May and ended up regretting it. Don’t miss this one.
The post The Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle is Here! appeared first on To Love, Honor and Vacuum.
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A Treat for All Moms





November 2, 2013
A Treat for All Moms
If I were to ask you to describe yourself as a mom, what would you say? “I try, but I find I’m not as patient as I want to be.” “I lose my temper too easily.” “I’m just not fun anymore.”
But what if we asked your kids?
This is just so sweet, and brings tears to my eyes:
Now go hug your kids! They love you. Maybe it’s time you saw the good God has done through you, too.
Coming on Monday:
I’m so excited that the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle Sale is starting on Monday! 86 ebooks, tons of bonuses, and free membership to a mentoring program. And it will be here at 8 am EST!
Take a look at what’s in the bundle:
See that little blue book under the red banner, 31 Days to Great Sex? That’s me! But there are tons more. Please come on back on Monday for the sale! You don’t want to miss it.
Have a great weekend! I’m busy at a Bible quizzing competition with my daughter. She’s got all of James memorized. I’m praying she does well, but I’m praying that for all the kids, too.
The post A Treat for All Moms appeared first on To Love, Honor and Vacuum.
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November 1, 2013
The Right to Act Like Your Child’s Parent
I often gaze wistfully at that fashionable fall outfit: an oversized tunic with a belt over leggings. It looks so comfy cozy. But even though I like it, I can’t quite bring myself to buy it. Leggings on someone on the wrong side of forty doesn’t quite work for me, even if the tunic does cover a multitude of flaws.
Yet increasingly leggings aren’t working even for those on the right side of forty, namely because people aren’t pairing them with long tunics; they’re wearing them with shorter shirts. What was once fashionable becomes floozy. It’s not even flirty; it’s just gross. There are some parts of one’s anatomy which should never be covered in thin, skin tight fabric.
As terrible as it is when adult women commit this fashion faux-pas, it’s worse when teen girls do it, because it means some parent somewhere has allowed a child to dress in public like that. One mom I know is heartbroken about her daughter’s clothing but feels rather helpless. Her daughter refuses to wear anything except tights as pants.
I do not understand this helpless attitude, whether it’s about clothing choices or other teenage behaviours, and I would like to tell parents, loudly and clearly, you are the parent. You have the right–indeed the obligation–to set standards. If you do not exercise your right to act like a parent, then you are abdicating your responsibility to our culture. Our culture is the one that adores Miley Cyrus’ new persona. Do you really want to turn your child over to that?
Parents should not feel guilty for acting like parents, and yet so many of us are insecure. Do we even have the right to tell our kids what to do, or what to wear? The insecurity is understandable. In 2008 in Quebec, a 12-year-old girl took her father to court for grounding her from a class field trip. She had been using the internet inappropriately and sending inappropriate texts, so he put his foot down. She sued. And the Quebec courts, even on appeal, have decided the girl was right.
With this sort of ridiculousness around us it’s easy to feel like we don’t have a right to demand things of our kids. The schools should raise them, and if our culture has decided that Miley’s antics are the new normal, who are we to say they’re wrong? We may be uncomfortable with all the texting, and with all the explicit shows kids watch, and with the sexual activity, but these things are normal today. To fight back is like trying to hold a tsunami at bay. It’s too much.
Yet is it really?
What does it matter what the rest of our culture says? It is not our culture that is going to have to deal with the repercussions of a teenager dropping out of school, or feeling great shame for something he or she has done, or getting hooked on drugs. It is you, the parent. It is not our culture that will have to pick up the pieces, patch a broken heart, or help someone detox. It is not the school that will be there when a girl derails her educational future because she gets pregnant, or a boy decides to waste his life on video games instead of investing in college. It is you. You are the only one who loves your child more than life itself. You are the only one with a vested interest in how your child turns out. You’re the only one, then, that really matters.
So do something! You have power. You control the wifi, the television, and the money that pays for the cell phone. Use that power. Say no. Be a parent. And please, no tights.
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The post The Right to Act Like Your Child’s Parent appeared first on To Love, Honor and Vacuum.
Related posts:
Winning the Parenting Power Struggle
Have We Forgotten How to Parent?
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October 31, 2013
Surviving a Miscarriage or Baby Loss: Dealing with the Grief
Her hair was bright red. Her dress was flamboyant. Her smile was infectious. After sizing her up for just a few short minutes at my book table where I had been speaking, I knew she was the life of the party. She was a lovely, extroverted woman.
And yet she pulled me aside to talk to me. She had a problem, she said.
“Everyone thinks I have a great sex life because I look like such a passionate person. But it’s never felt that good for me. It’s just something I endure. I don’t want it to be like this, but I just can’t get excited about sex.”
We talked for a while, and it eventually came out that while she has three lovely children with her now, she has two others waiting in heaven. In just a short period of weeks she lost a toddler to cancer right when she delivered a stillborn baby. They were her first two babies and they were gone.
And I just knew. As we both started getting teary, I said to her, “I don’t think you can touch that deep place inside of you where your sexuality lies until you can also touch that deep place where grief lies. I think you’re afraid to open up to your husband, because if you fully open up, there’s grief there. And that’s scary, because what if you open the door and you can’t shut it again?”
Grief affects us so profoundly.
So many of us are the walking wounded. We’re just like this woman: we look great on the outside, but inside there’s this deep hurt that is so hard to touch. And yet by not touching it we are hurting ourselves in other ways, too.
Today is Hallowe’en, and all over my neighbourhood people have “decorated” lawns with gravestones and ghosts and ghouls and it’s all quite awful. Today people celebrate death.
I don’t want to celebrate death. But I do want to talk about grief, and give some hope. October 15 is officialy Miscarriage and Baby Loss Day, but I think it’s okay to talk about it today instead.
How Miscarriage Sears the Soul
I remember the day I miscarried. It was January 30, 1994; my husband and I had just seen the movie Schindler’s List in the theatre, and it had really thrown me. I was six weeks pregnant. And when I got home I started to bleed, and bleed heavily. It was so heartbreaking. And yet the next day I had to go to class (I was finishing graduate school) just like any other day. No one knew. And yet I had lost all my dreams.
Two and a half years later I would hold the body of my son Christopher, who passed away at 4 weeks of age. And yet I can tell you that the miscarriage at six weeks was also incredibly painful. I think often we don’t give enough understanding to how hard miscarriage is. And after going through both losing a baby and having a miscarriage, I can tell you that both are extremely painful.
And Then You Were Gone–Walking through Miscarriage
Last weekend I sat down and read And Then You Were Gone by Becky Avella. Becky lost four babies at different stages in pregnancy, and I haven’t cried like that in a long time! It touched parts of me I had forgotten were there. What a great book. She’s so practical, and so real, and so authentic, and those who have gone through this will relate to everything she says.
She opens with her heartbreaking story of losing the babies, and I just want to give you some snippets from the book to give you a flavour for it. Becky writes of those days in church after the first miscarriage,
I also wanted to pull away from other people. Church was an almost unbearable place to be. Each week I would think, “I’m fine today,” but the desire to leave the building would hit immediately upon entering. Week after week I tried to “be strong this time” and would make myself sit in the sanctuary. As worship began, the music stirred my emotions, leaving me vulnerable, and the tears would inevitably start falling. I thought, I have to get out of here or I’m going to start bawling, but I realized walking out would allow everyone to see I had been crying. If I stayed, I wouldn’t be able to keep from sobbing and causing a scene. I was trapped. If I did choose to leave the sanctuary, I would wander around until the service ended, trying to get myself under control and presentable before anyone could see me.
I know EXACTLY what she means. Music always hit me the most. I couldn’t sit there, and I would just want to bawl. You can feel it starting, this horrible feeling in your throat, and you try to stop it, and you can’t. To this day there is still one hymn I find it very difficult to sing–”It is Well with my Soul”. I will always associate it with my son’s funeral, even though I completely agree with the words.
After that real teary period you get that bargaining stage–you’re sure that at some level God’s displeased with you or punishing you, so you try to be perfect so that you won’t jinx the next baby. God doesn’t work like that; but in our pain that’s often how we experience Him. And then we find ourselves pushing Him further away.
I had to understand that God would heal me, not time. God would heal me, not another baby. God would heal me, not medication. He may use time and another baby and modern medicine as part of His planned work, but He would do the work.
He can’t work until you allow yourself to grieve–to touch that deep place in you. We need to let ourselves touch that pain–just like I told that woman with the red hair. Until we do, we will never be able to live in fullness because we’ve sealed off a part of ourselves. I know it’s scary to touch it–but you need to, even if it’s hard. Becky says,
This was a boxing match I never signed up to fight. The first miscarriage knocked me flat. I jumped back up quickly, afraid to stay down long. I had enough energy to get back up again and keep fighting. I wasn’t going to allow the grief to get me. Besides, I clung desperately to the hope of another baby. Another baby, I reasoned, would make this nightmare go away. Blow after blow came as I endured three more pregnancy losses. It became harder and harder to get back up again, until one day I had no fight left in me. I was knocked out, completely unable to fight grief any more. I felt defeated, and I sank into the dark night of the soul.
She then goes on to outline how to live through that dark night, and how to emerge on the other side. Whatever you do, don’t stop tears when they come!
Healing, though, does not mean that we will return to the person we were before–and I have found this, too.
Experiencing the death of my babies changed me forever. I will continue to heal, but I will never be the same person.
And I’m not. I think I’m a little quieter than I was before. I like thinking on my own more–like maybe I’m a little more introverted. There are parts of me that I’m not afraid to touch anymore, but I still like to touch them on my own, just me and God, and not with other people. I find that even joy has a tinge of sadness now, because I know that this world is really tainted. But the good in that is that I’m also looking forward to heaven in a new way. And I find myself being much EASIER on myself than I was before.
Probably that’s because I’ve walked through that whole bargaining stage with God, and the wondering if I’m being punished, and I’ve worked it through. I talk about it in my book How Big Is Your Umbrella, and I come to a lot of the same conclusions Becky does. She says,
Satisfied with the answer that suffering isn’t punishment, I then wondered, If it isn’t punishment for sin, why do Christians suffer? God turned the question around on me and asked in return, “What would happen if Christians didn’t suffer?”
Immediately, I answered, “People would choose You for the wrong reasons.”
It’s so true! We turn ourselves inside out trying to figure out if God wants to hurt us, or is trying to teach us something, when really maybe it’s just that life is tough. It always is. The question is just whether we’re going to go through it without God, or whether we’re going to lean on Him and let Him help us.
Becky goes through all of the spiritual and practical ramifications, and then gets to the chapter, “Did she really say THAT?”–about the stupid things people often say to you. It’s funny, because my very first article I ever sold to a big magazine was on what NOT to say to friends who are grieving, growing out of the same experiences Becky had!
I love this truth that she shares, too:
For lack of a better way to label each miscarriage, I’ve caught myself saying, “When I lost David” or “When I lost Micah, James, or Sarah.” It is an easy way to explain the timing of my story, but the truth is I did not lose them. I suffered a pregnancy loss, but my babies are not lost. My babies are eternal beings. They are not lost: they live!
I felt that, too, in such a real, tangible way a few years ago. My son is alive; and my first baby is there, too. And we will be united again in heaven.
If you’re walking through this, or if you have grief you’ve never really worked through, I can’t recommend And Then You Were Gone highly enough. It’s beautifully written and it deals with all the things we go through–the hormones, the grief, the loneliness, the shame, the guilt, the anger, the bitterness. Or if you have a friend who is walking through this, I know this will help her, too.
Miscarriage is the invisible grief, I think, because people don’t see. But it is there, and it’s real, and it’s horrible, and we need to acknowledge it and confront it, because God never meant for us to bear the pain alone. I hope that in your dark night of the soul he will speak to you, too.
You can find Becky Avella on Twitter or on Facebook, or email her here.
Resources That Can Help with Grief from Miscarriage:
And Then You Were Gone by Becky Avella (available in ebook or paperback)
How Big Is Your Umbrella (my book on walking through grief)
Heaven is For Real (just a wonderful book about a young boy’s journey to heaven that reassured me about my son)
It is Well with My Soul necklace
Locket for Baby’s hair

The post Surviving a Miscarriage or Baby Loss: Dealing with the Grief appeared first on To Love, Honor and Vacuum.
Related posts:
My Son is Waiting for Me In Heaven
A Prayer Through Tears
17 Years Ago I Said Good-Bye to My Son




