Chris Illuminati's Blog, page 25

Shrimp Scampi Recipe — Dinner2Night

Best served with red wine and The Grateful Dead. Shrimp Scampi Recipe Cook linguini or fettuccini or whatever you got. In another sauté pan melt 3T butter with 3T olive oil over med low heat. Add 4 cloves of chopped garlic and sauté 1 min. Add 1 lb shrimp, salt and pepper and cook about […]

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Easy Salisbury Steak Recipe — Dinner2Night

Because sometimes you’ve just got to eat some meat. Salisbury Steak Recipe This is one of the few recipes I use beef for because it needs the fat. Combine 1 1/2 lbs ground beef (80/20 works best. I know, cringe…) with 1/3 cup French onion soup, 1/2 cup breadcrumbs, 1 egg, salt and pepper. Form […]

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Here’s Why It Sucks To Go On Vacation With The Family

My mother and father constantly disagreed on the perfect time to end family vacations.

The post Here’s Why It Sucks To Go On Vacation With The Family appeared first on A Message With A Bottle.

Here’s Why It Sucks To Go On Vacation With The Family

My mother and father constantly disagreed on the perfect time to end family vacations.

Weirdo Arrested For Giving Some Random Kid A Wet Willy

"Show me on this doll where he touched you, son."

The post Weirdo Arrested For Giving Some Random Kid A Wet Willy appeared first on A Message With A Bottle.

Weirdo Arrested For Giving Some Random Kid A Wet Willy

"Show me on this doll where he touched you, son."

Since Kids In Speedos Freak Me Out, I’d Like People To Check Out These Psycho Seaweed Swimsuits

Because your kid is too old for Spongebob shorts and have you seen the little kids in the nut hugger Speedos? Too young to start a banana stand, junior. GET THEM NOW

Dad Hires A Special Forces Soldier To Get Kidnapped Daughter Back And I’m Picturing Jason Statham In The Movie Version

This isn’t a movie. It sounds like a movie. It will be a movie. Maybe on Lifetime. Lifetime for Men. Is there a Lifetime For Men? Craig Michael picked up his daughter and ran to a waiting car, while his special forces sidekick doused the little girl’s grandfather with pepper spray. It was an operation that […]

Becoming A Father At A Young Age Rewards Men With The Worst Gift Of All – An Early Death

Here’s some bad news for all the young fathers in the crowd. Stand up so we all can see you. Come on, stand up men. Let’s give these guys a round of applause because they might not make it through the night. Men who have kids at a young age die sooner, according to science, and […]

The Big Bad Book Of Bill Murray Is Required Reading

The Big Bad Book Of Bill Murray would look great sitting on your coffee table. Not as great as the actual Bill Murray, who will end up sitting on your coffee table someday. How? No clue. He’s Bill Fucking Murray. He shows up in odd places. If someone pointed a gun to your head and […]