Chris Illuminati's Blog, page 29
February 15, 2015
5 Major Moments Parents Always Forget To Photograph And Usually End Up Regretting It For Life
You’ve been waiting for days to rub it in your competition’s faces share with your dear friends that your kiddo finally did it… he’s a walker! Yes, he only took three steps and yes, now anytime you try to coax him with a toy or, who are we kidding here, any sugary substance faintly resembling […]
The post 5 Major Moments Parents Always Forget To Photograph And Usually End Up Regretting It For Life appeared first on Message With a Bottle.
February 14, 2015
No Girl Left Behind — Boy Sends Anonymous Valentines To Every Girl In School
The number of times you will end up doling out advice to your kids (a really nice way to say “telling your child what to do”), is incomprehensible as a new parent. And that advice changes as your child grows. Don’t hit. Don’t bite. Don’t kick. Use your words. We start out teaching kids from […]
The post No Girl Left Behind — Boy Sends Anonymous Valentines To Every Girl In School appeared first on Message With a Bottle.
Which Beer Goes Best With Filling Out Stupid Valentine’s Day Cards For Your Kid’s School?
We’ve all heard it before — pair this wine with this cheese or this beer or this beer is great with this type of food. But what about life? What kind of beer should you drink when you’re fixing a clothes dryer? What wine goes well when your children decide they want to watch Let’s Play […]
The post Which Beer Goes Best With Filling Out Stupid Valentine’s Day Cards For Your Kid’s School? appeared first on Message With a Bottle.
No Boxes Beef Stroganoff — UNCANNY #1
Hey everyone! Welcome to the first installment of Uncanny. This is my very first blog posting. EVER. So hang in there with me while I navigate this world. My name is Katie and I am from Washington State. So yes, I love the Seahawks and yes, I too cannot believe that last play of the […]
The post No Boxes Beef Stroganoff — UNCANNY #1 appeared first on Message With a Bottle.
This Child Will Probably Never Want To Go Down A Slide Again
When I was about five, my parents took me miniature golfing. To get from the pro shop to the course patrons had to walk over a wooden bridge. I put one had on each side of the bridge for support and ran from one end to the other. Each hand had at least three splinters […]
The post This Child Will Probably Never Want To Go Down A Slide Again appeared first on Message With a Bottle.
February 13, 2015
The ‘New Father Chronicles’ Might Be The Best Video Series For New Dads
Being a new dad can be extremely overwhelming. There’s a ton of knowledge out there about how to raise your newborn, and most of them should be taken on a case-by-case and person-to-person basis. But every dad can appreciate “New Father Chronicles,” a hysterical YouTube series that’ll change your life. YouTube user La Guardia Cross has […]
The post The ‘New Father Chronicles’ Might Be The Best Video Series For New Dads appeared first on Message With a Bottle.
February 12, 2015
A Mom Let Her Toddler Pick Out All Her Clothes For One Week And The Results Are Glorious
Summer Bellessa let her toddler pick out her clothes for a week. Before the amazing ensembles, the reason why anyone, ANYONE would consider this a good idea. “I have picked out my son’s outfits almost every day of his three years on this planet. I thought it would be fun to turn the tables and […]
The post A Mom Let Her Toddler Pick Out All Her Clothes For One Week And The Results Are Glorious appeared first on Message With a Bottle.
Don’t Know What To Get Your Child For Valentine’s Day? Name A Cockroach After Him
Those of you struggling with what to give the kid on Valentine’s Day (a day for…lovers?) can breathe a sigh of relief. No more wasting your money on chocolates or candy hearts. Don’t we all still have half a bag of leftover Halloween candy hiding on the top shelf of the pantry anyway? And between […]
The post Don’t Know What To Get Your Child For Valentine’s Day? Name A Cockroach After Him appeared first on Message With a Bottle.
What’s The Most Mortifying Thing Your Kid Has Ever Said? These Moms Tell All
Kids say the darndest things, but but half the time what comes out of their mouths is unfathomable of a toddler. To show you just how uncomfortable some parents get over the ludicrous things their children say, here are a few moms who’ve revealed the worst of the worst. What would you do if your […]
The post What’s The Most Mortifying Thing Your Kid Has Ever Said? These Moms Tell All appeared first on Message With a Bottle.
February 11, 2015
These Are The Craziest Pregnancy Announcement Photo Ideas I’ve Ever Seen
I’m not the type of guy who’ll use the phrase “I can’t even” but I CAN’T EVEN! Wuhtdafuq? These are some of the craziest pregnancy announcement photo ideas ever. Where these the original ideas or were these outtakes from the private collection of a professional photographer who huffs paint? I just can’t because I’m really happy for […]
The post These Are The Craziest Pregnancy Announcement Photo Ideas I’ve Ever Seen appeared first on Message With a Bottle.
