Amy Julia Becker's Blog, page 129

#9: Holy Questions

EPISODE #9: Holy Questions — A baby born of a virgin, a God who became a human being, a promise that the entire world will one day taste the resurrection—I have my own set of questions for each one of those claims. In today’s episode I talk about my questions and the holy God who keeps showing up.

Holy Questions

I’d love for you to listen to this podcast episode via the player above or on your favorite podcast platform. Visit my podcast page for all of this season’s episodes. And you can read along with the entire Prepare Him Room podcast season by downloading my FREE ebook!

If you haven’t already, please  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and  Twitter,  and you can  subscribe to my podcast on  Apple Podcasts ,  Google Podcasts , and  Spotify , as well as other platforms.

The post #9: Holy Questions appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.

#8: Hoping to Find Faith

EPISODE #8: Hoping to Find Faith —Today we look at Luke’s story of Jesus. We’re invited to enter this story with our questions, but also with our love. This is a book filled with holy tension between faith and doubt, between love and investigation, hope and fear. We read hoping to find faith.

Before Luke gets to the birth story about Jesus, he gives this quick introduction to “most excellent Theophilus.” We don’t know whether Theophilus was Luke’s friend in real life, or whether Theophilus—which means “lover of God” from the Greek words theos (God) and philo (love)—was a symbolic name, a name Luke uses to indicate that he is writing this book for anyone who loves God and wants to know more about Jesus. I lean towards the latter interpretation, and it’s important either way to recognize that Luke is writing with the assumption that his readers are what one of my friends calls “God-positive.” They aren’t necessarily Christians. They don’t necessarily believe in Jesus. But they love God.

Faith, Doubt, and Confusion

At the same time, Luke makes it clear that just because people love God doesn’t mean they don’t need to think about things or examine and investigate and question. In other words, Luke seems pretty clear that the stories he is about to tell might be hard to believe, might prompt question and doubt and confusion. So he has taken it upon himself to ask those questions, to see whether these miraculous and hopeful events happened the way people have been saying they did. And he’s here to offer us what he learned.

Luke didn’t employ the scientific method. He didn’t know that babies are formed when a sperm meets an egg. But he did know that babies don’t come from virgins. In other words, although his questions about what we now call the virgin birth might have been different in their details, it wasn’t as if people believed in virgin births back in the day and now we don’t. People have never…

There’s More!

I’d love for you to listen to the rest of this podcast episode via the player above or on your favorite podcast platform. Visit my podcast page for all of this season’s episodes. And you can read along with the entire Prepare Him Room podcast season by downloading my FREE ebook!

If you haven’t already, please  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and  Twitter,  and you can  subscribe to my podcast on  Apple Podcasts ,  Google Podcasts , and  Spotify , as well as other platforms.

The post #8: Hoping to Find Faith appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.

#7: Waiting

EPISODE #7: Waiting—Advent involves the sorrowful expectation in the waiting that God will indeed bring good news by showing up in our messy, broken lives. In today’s podcast I talk about a new tradition our family has integrated into our Advent practice that I hope has deepened our understanding of the spirit of waiting of this season.

Mark is widely considered the gospel that was written first, and it doesn’t include a birth story. Skeptics would say that this omission suggests that Matthew and Luke decided to make up a birth story in their later telling of these events. Another way to read it is that Mark kept his story focused on the years of Jesus’ ministry, and then Matthew and Luke decided to fill in some missing details. But even without a birth story, Mark’s gospel relates to Advent because he introduces Jesus through John the Baptist, a preacher in the wilderness who, according to Mark, was supposed to “prepare the way” for Jesus. We, too, are invited to prepare the way for Jesus to arrive during Advent.

Season of Waiting

Advent is a season of preparation, a season of waiting.

In our household, we have one type of waiting figured out. It’s the waiting with eager anticipation for December 25th, the anticipation that prompts Marilee to ask every morning, “Is it Christmas tomorrow?” But Advent also involves a different type of waiting, the sorrowful expectation that God will indeed bring good news by showing up in our messy, painful, broken lives.

New Tradition

I can’t say I’ve figured out a way for Advent to supersede the festivities that begin well before Christmas day, but we have integrated a new tradition into our Advent practice. We decided to each give away one thing every day during Advent. The idea came from my friend Margot Starbuck, who made a video about her family giving away 1000 things…

There’s More!

I’d love for you to listen to the rest of this podcast episode via the player above or on your favorite podcast platform. Visit my podcast page for all of this season’s episodes. And you can read along with the entire Prepare Him Room podcast season by downloading my FREE ebook!

If you haven’t already, please  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and  Twitter,  and you can  subscribe to my podcast on  Apple Podcasts ,  Google Podcasts , and  Spotify , as well as other platforms.

The post #7: Waiting appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.

#6: Somber Exile

EPISODE #6: Somber Exile—There is nothing trite about this time of year. In today’s podcast we see that Advent is a time of sorrowful expectation, of daring to hope that Immanuel, God-with-us, is still working to make things right in this world.

Love. Peace. Hope. Joy. We see these words a lot in December—in scrawling fonts, in red green, silver, and gold, adorning Christmas cards and advertisements and invitations. Because they are commonplace, and because they are tossed into the mix of beaming family photos and lists of items we want at the mall and parties with champagne and poinsettias and eggnog, it is easy to think of these words as trite, sentimental, sweet.

But according to the church calendar, there is nothing trite, sentimental, or sweet about this time of year. Rather, Advent—these four weeks leading up to Christmas—is a time of somber expectation in the midst of exile. Not so much the eager expectation that our children demonstrate every morning when they want to revise their gift list. Not so much the expectation of food and family and celebration.

Sorrowful Expectation in Somber Exile

Advent is a time of sorrowful expectation, of daring to hope that Immanuel, God-with-us, the one the Scriptures talk about, the one who came in the flesh on Christmas morning, is still working to make things right in this world.

The church’s understanding of Advent stands in opposition…

There’s More!

I’d love for you to listen to the rest of this podcast episode via the player above or on your favorite podcast platform. And you can read along with the entire Prepare Him Room podcast season by downloading my FREE ebook!

If you haven’t already, please  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and  Twitter,  and you can  subscribe to my podcast on  Apple Podcasts ,  Google Podcasts , and  Spotify , as well as other platforms.

The post #6: Somber Exile appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.

In Their Own Words: Penny and William on Technology

In their own words! Penny and William have some things to say about children and families and technology. Most of our kids’ friends have some sort of personal electronic device and some sort of personal texting account. There’s a big spectrum—some received phones in elementary school, others have iPads or iPods, some have social media accounts, some don’t. To date, our children haven’t had any technology devices of their own. We’ve held back because we are concerned about the dangerous potential inherent within social media (which Peter sees regularly as the head of a boarding school).

Even more, though, we’ve held back because we want them to learn how to entertain themselves without screens, we want to equip them to be creators more than consumers, and we want to shape their brains through paying sustained attention to one thing rather than the constant barrage of distraction that comes with most electronic devices. 

Introducing Technology to Children

Still, when we decided to take our 5-week family adventure, both of our middle schoolers, Penny and William, recoiled at the thought of being away from their friends for so long. I remember myself back in middle school, when I begged for a second phone line so I could talk to my friends after school without having to share the line with my mother. We wanted to honor our kids’ desire to stay in touch with friends, and we knew that we needed to introduce them to the world of connectivity at some point. But they are growing up in a household with both an educator and an author, so they didn’t get to just ask for it and receive.

Instead, Peter required them to read the Preface, Introduction, and first chapter of Andy Crouch’s book Tech-Wise Family (which we recommend for any parent struggling through these types of decisions, and here’s a podcast with Andy Crouch about it if you want to listen to an introduction), and I suggested they write essays in response. They dutifully read, and here’s what they wrote: 

Penny’s Essay

This first essay is from Penny, with editing help from William: 

Technology definition

Technology includes, and is not limited to, phones, ipads, computers, ipods, etc.

What I know about technology

People in school’s always have a device on them. There should be some rules that help limit the uses of technology. My school has a new rule about technology. You are not allowed to bring any devices into the cafeteria. You need to put them in your locker before going to lunch. Friend’s that I know think this rule should be changed. A student in my Language Arts class made a petition stating that the new rule is unfair and it should be changed. Some people think it’s a good idea to have a rule like the new one, like me, because I don’t have a device to bring every day. People who have a device with them everyday don’t think the rule is fair.

What I think some rules and boundaries are

Limit the amount of time you are on a screen
People should shut your device down when getting ready for bed and do not pick it up ‘till the morning.
You need to have some time off of a screen every day.

Safety and privacy of technology

I think that Mom’s and Dad’s should be able to see what their children are texting or emailing. I also think that parents should be able to see what their children are posting on social media. 

Concerns

On Instagram you might have a lot of followers but you don’t want to follow someone if you don’t know them. On Snapchat you might see some cute pics but also be aware that you may see a picture that you don’t want to see. I think that on these social media platforms kids should have a private account and they should be careful about who they are following/texting/emailing.

Questions

Why do people have technology?
Why do people have concerns about technology?
What pictures and or videos you might see on social media platforms that are inappropriate and why?

Answers

People have technology because it can promote your social status at school. 
People might have concerns about technology because they want their children not to be exposed to something bad. 
You might see people having SEX with other people. This is inappropriate because that is a picture that you may NOT WANT TO SEE.

Boundaries for me 

When I get a texting account I would want to set rules and boundaries. The rules should be wait for a response before texting again. Don’t text everyday. 

Boundaries should be text at your own risk. Never respond to a text if you don’t know that person. Questions I would ask Can we talk to people on facetime?  MAIN QUESTION!! Why would people have to get a texting account?

If people have a texting account why can’t we get a phone?

William’s Essay

And this essay is from William: 

I think that boundaries would serve all of us well going into this process when it begins. I know that technology should not be the center of our lives and I hope that getting a texting account would not become the center of my life, but I am also feeling a little disconnected from my friends because most of the day at school is not social time. I think that making sure the device is off during dinner, and after 8:30 are very reasonable boundaries. I think that we might have to experiment with different times and limits we put on this account because I know this is a first time for the three of us.

 I have learned a lot from this book and I think that I am now very ready to head into the world of texting, more so than I was before starting the book. I will try as best as humanly possible to not let myself by swallowed up by the account, as I see Dad and Mom sometimes do. I hope that you do not feel what I am asking for is unreasonable. I think that once you have read this that it would be good to talk to each other in person about this same topic. 

I hope that you would not expect me to carry a device into my room at all. I think that the device I am texting on should stay downstairs or in another set place until the morning. When I wake up in the morning, I think that I should only be allowed to check it once before school. I think that setting a time limit for the amount of time I can be on it when I do check it is a good boundary as well. 

I think that Sundays are family days for us, but many people do not observe Sunday in the same way. I think one of the very wise things that Andy Crouch talks about in this book is how we, and our devices, should rest on Sundays. I think that is a very good idea, but I think that checking texts once on Sunday is not at all unreasonable. 

So we are venturing forth into the world of texting, which will in time become the world of technology and social media, with our not at all unreasonable children. I suspect we will continue to learn together about distraction, habit formation, and how to be present in this space and this moment while remaining connected to other people from afar. I hope we can keep technology in its proper place, which is the point of Tech-Wise Family, and use it to bring goodness into the things that matter most in our lives.

If you haven’t already, please  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and  Twitter.

The post In Their Own Words: Penny and William on Technology appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.

#5: The Importance of Gifts

EPISODE #5: The Importance of Gifts —At times I want to protest the commercialization of Christmas. In today’s episode we talk about tinsel and tacky decorations and the fact that my son, when he was two years old, thought more highly of Santa than God. Part of me wants to do away with Christmas extravagance and the importance placed on gifts altogether. Yet from the beginning of Jesus’ life, gifts were important. People responded with extravagant generosity.

The Importance of Gifts

I’d love for you to listen to this episode via the player above, over on my podcast, or on your favorite podcast platform. You can also read along with the entire Prepare Him Room podcast season by downloading my FREE ebook!

If you haven’t already, please  subscribe to receive regular updates and news from me. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and  Twitter , and you can subscribe to my podcast on  Apple Podcasts ,  Google Podcasts , and  Spotify , as well as other platforms.

The post #5: The Importance of Gifts appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.

#4: Other Religions at Christmastime

EPISODE #4: Other Religions at Christmastime—A simple statement from our son makes me realize I haven’t talked much about other religions with our children. Episode #4 of my podcast lets you eavesdrop on our conversation. Can we honor each religious tradition without pretending they’re all the same?

Other Religions at Christmastime

I’d love for you to listen to this episode via the player above, over on my podcast, or on your favorite podcast platform. You can also read along with the entire Prepare Him Room podcast season by downloading my FREE ebook!

If you haven’t already, please  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and  Twitter , and you can subscribe to my podcast on  Apple Podcasts ,  Google Podcasts , and  Spotify , as well as other platforms.

The post #4: Other Religions at Christmastime appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.

#3: Prepare Him Room

EPISODE #3: Prepare Him Room—Today’s passage from Matthew 1:22-25 is about how Joseph and Mary prepared to welcome Jesus as their son, which reminds me of one of my favorite lines from “Joy to the World”: Let every heart prepare him room. Preparing room means clearing out space. Cleaning up. Moving the detritus into the basement. How do I prepare room for Jesus on a spiritual level?

Matthew 1:22-25

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.

– Matthew 1:22-25

Prepare Him Room

It’s one of my favorite lines from “Joy to the World”: Let every heart prepare him room. This passage from Matthew is about the preparations Joseph and Mary did in order to welcome Jesus as their son. The preparations God had to do, waiting until exactly the right time, and then sending multiple angels to reassure the various players that they really were invited into a cosmic plan for saving the whole world by welcoming a baby boy. There was pretty deep emotional and spiritual preparation going on for Mary and Joseph.

When I move forward in time by 2,000 years to my own preparations, it isn’t quite the same. Preparing room means clearing out space. Cleaning up. Moving the unnecessary detritus into the basement or garage or taking it to the dump. I can imagine preparing room for Jesus on a spiritual level. It would mean confession. It would mean taking an emotional inventory. It would mean paying attention to all the junk in my heart and getting rid of it.

A Crowded Heart

But I am not ready for that type of work right now. My heart is crowded with the regular preparations for Christmas—writing a letter and sending out cards, decorating the tree and making cookies, buying presents, wrapping presents, buying more presents… There are parties and holiday concerts and Advent calendars and peppermint drops and “Can I hab anodah piece a candy?” from Marilee, at 6:30 a.m.

And my heart is crowded with discontent. We have had two snow days and two delayed openings and a weekend snowstorm already this winter. We have had two kids who stayed home from school sick, on different days.

So this morning, with William making a design out of wooden blocks on the floor and Marilee eating gingerbread beside me (yes, at 6:20, before the candy question), I pulled out my journal and Bible and I wrote, “All of the preparations for Christmas are making it very difficult for me to prepare room for Jesus.“

Immanuel

I prayed that God would help me. Help my grumpy spirit. Help me trust that even though the presents aren’t all wrapped and even though I haven’t written the blog posts I had planned and even though I don’t have all the addresses for the Christmas cards and even though I have eaten and drunk more than I intended throughout this season and even though I have only vaguely paid attention to Advent so far—help me to trust that you are present. That you are God-with-us. Immanuel.

If you haven’t already, please  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and  Twitter , and you can subscribe to my podcast on  Apple Podcasts ,  Google Podcasts , and  Spotify , as well as other platforms.

The post #3: Prepare Him Room appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.

How We Think About Giving Money Away

Giving money away. What do we think about that? Over the last two decades, Peter and I have thought a lot about where to give our money. Considering what we have been given and how we can share that bounty with others is an opportunity to participate in God’s ongoing work of healing the world.

When Peter and I were newly married, we were invited to a small group Bible Study about money. We said yes for a few reasons. One, we had just moved to a new town and we wanted to meet some new people. Two, we had learned during premarital counseling that money was a topic that pushed lots of emotional buttons, so it might not be a bad idea to get some Biblical wisdom. And three, we were receiving our first regular paychecks and thinking about buying our first house and paying off student loans. We knew we needed some guiding principles if money wasn’t going to become a source of constant tension. 

God and Money

The premise of the class was simple: Everything belongs to God. You are entrusted with God’s stuff. Your job is to hold it loosely but responsibly as you save, spend, and give it away. 

On a practical level, we learned about keeping a budget (which we did, religiously, for a few years). We vowed not to need fancier or more expensive things even if we made more money in the future. (“Why would I ever want a bottle of wine that costs more than $10, adjusted for inflation”? Peter asked. He’s pretty much held to it, though I’ve allowed my taste to creep towards $18.) But perhaps most important of all, we made a commitment from those very early days of our marriage that we would give away at least ten percent of our income every year. 

Thinking About Giving

As a result of two decades of giving money away, we’ve thought a lot about where to give. Over time, through prayer and practice, we’ve landed on giving to three broad areas: local institutions, people in need, and arts and education. These areas sometimes overlap, like when we give to a school where students all come from families at or below the poverty line. Other than our local church, our largest gift each year is to Special Hope Network, a ministry to families with kids with special needs in Zambia. (Holly Nelson, one of the founders of SHN, wrote a guest post last week about their work and how you can sponsor a family for $50/month.) SHN cares for some of the most vulnerable people on the planet, and we are honored to participate in God’s healing work by sponsoring some of the work they do. 

We don’t give in any significant way to major institutions (like our colleges or museums) where many other donors are already engaged. But we do make sure some of our money flows out of the United States, in light of the tremendous humanitarian need around the globe.

Recently, I was challenged to consider giving more to organizations led by (and not simply seeking to serve) people of color, and we have started to adjust our giving in that direction. We now give to a church within our denomination with a predominantly black membership, in recognition of the long-standing wealth gap between white communities and communities of color. 

The Next Step

I understand that most people are not in our financial position, and very few people start off their adult life assuming that 10 percent of their income will be given to charitable causes. If you are someone who wants to begin to practice giving, consider what the next step would be for you, and do that. For all of us, considering what we have been given and how we can share that bounty with others is an opportunity to participate in God’s ongoing work of healing the world. 

There are tremendous needs out there that we aren’t meeting. The point is that we have been entrusted with money and resources, and we have the privilege of participating in small ways in seeing healing happen and injustice overturned at home and around the globe. 

If you haven’t already, please subscribe to receive my regular updates and news. You can also follow me on Facebook , Instagram , and Twitter .

The post How We Think About Giving Money Away appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.

#2: Hopes and Fears

EPISODE #2: Hopes and Fears —Today we’re looking at Matthew 1:18-21, where the angel implies that Joseph is afraid to take Mary home as his wife. I’m grateful we aren’t asked to eliminate fears in order to claim hope. Rather we are invited to bring hope and fear in a mixed-up jumble to Jesus.

Hopes and Fears

I’d love for you to listen to this episode over on my podcast or on your favorite podcast platform. You can also read along with the entire Prepare Him Room podcast season by downloading my FREE ebook!

If you haven’t already, please subscribe to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on Facebook , Instagram , and Twitter , and you can subscribe to my podcast on Apple Podcasts , Google Podcasts , and Spotify , as well as other platforms.

The post #2: Hopes and Fears appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.