Namita Das's Blog, page 7

If Moms Had IEPs Too: The Support We Never Ask For but Deeply Need

(Spoiler: We need them too.)

“Please remind him to bring his water bottle again.”

“Did you try a new breakfast? He didn’t eat today.”

“He seemed moody—any changes at home?”

I nodded politely, thanked the teacher, and walked to my car with my son’s bag slung across one shoulder and a dozen mental tabs still open.

No tantrum today. No refusal. Just silence. Withdrawal.

I scanned the morning in my head like a surveillance reel:

Did I rush him?

Was the room too noisy?

Did I raise my voice when he spilt the oats?

What didn’t I see?

The guilt loop was back. And loud.

The Silent Mental Load No One Accommodates

Our children often get visual schedules, sensory breaks, emotional support, and rightly so.

They have plans, meetings, and accommodations.

But me?

I was expected to self-regulate through it all—on little sleep, no sick days, and a full emotional inbox.

And the thing is—I’m trained.

I know the theories. I understand behaviour.

But motherhood isn’t a whiteboard.

It’s 7 AM cereal spills, 8 AM school drop-offs, 11 AM guilt spirals, and 4 PM snack battles—all while managing someone else’s dysregulation with grace.

When Grace Ends at the School Gate

Here’s the quiet truth: The accommodations stop where the child ends.

The assumption? You’re the adult. You’ll manage.

And most days, I do.

But some days, I wish for just one person to say:

“Looks like you need some wait time too.”

“Maybe this is your off-day, and that’s okay.”

“Would you like a break before the next meltdown?”

Because we speak so kindly to our kids.

But to ourselves? We’re drill sergeants in yoga pants.

What Accommodations Would Moms Have?

If we wrote ourselves an IEP, here’s what might be on it:

AccommodationWhat It Could Look Like in Real LifeWait TimeTake 5 deep breaths before replying to a tantrum instead of reacting.Visual RemindersSticky notes for the basics: “Water bottle. Snack. Breathe.”Sensory BreaksTen minutes in silence, without noise, screens, or demands.Movement BreaksA solo walk. Dancing in the kitchen. Just moving. For you.Safe SpaceOne person you can text: “Hard day. Just listen.” And they do.Positive ReinforcementA reward system… for you. Tea after bedtime. Chocolate after therapy. A nap.Let’s Do This Together: One Gentle Activity

Here’s an actionable reflection exercise—no printout needed, just your phone or a notebook.

The “Mom IEP” ReflectionWrite down 3 things you do well as a parent. (Yes, you do.)List 2 things that trigger you the most lately.Note 1 support you wish you had (emotional, practical, mental).Ask: “If my child did this daily, would I expect them to manage without help?”Circle the one thing from above you can start accommodating for yourself this week.

Even if it’s just asking for help or saying no without guilt.

You Deserve a Plan Too

This post isn’t just about venting. It’s about validating.

If your child deserves compassion, support, and structure—so do you.

You’re not a machine. You’re the pulse of your home.

And even pulses need to pause.

So, if you’re reading this and nodding quietly—this is your reminder:

You are doing enough.

You deserve support.

You are allowed to accommodate your own human-ness.

Ready for More Personalised Support?

Let’s write your Mom Accommodation Plan together.

Book a 1:1 session with me here

You’re not alone. You’re just unheard of far too often. Let’s change that—together.

Recommended Resources for Mom AccommodationsStructured Planners for Daily Support The Ultimate Planner for Moms: Chaos Out, Calm In : A beautifully designed planner with templates to help you organise your day, track self-care, and reduce overwhelm. IMPLAC Day Planner for Working Women & Mothers : A compact, purpose-built planner ideal for keeping tabs on kids, home and personal goals all in one place.

Both planners encourage reflection and visual organisation—key for building your Mom IEP routine.

Self-Care & Stress Management Reads Stopping Stress Before It Stops You: A Game Plan for Every Mom : Offers humour-filled guidance and practical solutions to help manage daily stressors—excellent for moms juggling emotional load and life demands.

These books model for us how to create gentle accommodations in our own schedules.

Online Learning: Free ADHD & Parenting Courses ADHD in Child Development : A deep dive into ADHD symptoms, subtypes, and evidence-based supportive strategies. Great for understanding your child—and yourself—as you craft accommodations sets. General Parenting Courses : Covers neurodiversity, emotional support, and practical parenting skills suitable for busy moms who want ongoing learning at no cost.

These courses provide knowledge and confidence that feed directly into your self-advocacy and self-care plans.

How to Use These in Your Mom Accommodation Plan:Start with a planner to visually organise your week and fit in “mom breaks” and reminders.Read or circle stress-management tools you want to try this week.Enrol in a course like ADHD in Child Development—even one module can shift your perspective and boost self-compassion. Final Thoughts

Tools, books, planners, and courses can be powerful allies—but they become magic when paired with the mindset behind this post: moms deserve their own accommodations, too.

If you’re ready to translate insight into a custom plan, I’d love to help.

Book your 1:1 session here

Let’s build your personal Mom IEP together

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Parenting Through the Hormone Storm: Perimenopause, Patience & the Power of Pause

Last Tuesday, I found myself in a moment I’m not proud of.

My son, Kuku, knocked over a glass of water onto his spelling workbook. The ink bled, the pages stuck together, and the worksheet we had spent 20 minutes on was now a soggy mess.

I didn’t pause. I didn’t breathe.

I snapped. Loudly. Sharply.

He looked up—confused, eyes welling.

“I’m sorry, Mama… it was an accident.”

That’s when the guilt hit like a tidal wave. I wasn’t furious about the water.

So, what was really going on?

When It’s Not Just the Kids—It’s Our Chemistry

In the quiet that followed, I sat down with my tea (gone cold again, as usual), and a thought surfaced that I’d been pushing aside for months:

This isn’t just stress. This is my body shifting gears.

Welcome to perimenopause—the hormonal rollercoaster that can begin as early as your mid-30s and feel like an invisible thief, quietly stealing your patience, sleep, and emotional balance.

Mood swings. Brain fog. Sudden rage. Unexpected tears.

All while you’re still expected to be the calm, present, nurturing mom.

For those of us raising neurodiverse children, these fluctuations hit harder.

Why? Because our days already require more patience, more structure, more emotional regulation—and suddenly, the tools we’ve honed feel like they’re slipping through our fingers.

No One Told Us This Part

I’ve supported many parents navigating behavioural challenges in their children.

But what about the behaviour shifts in us?

What happens when:

The sensory overload is not just from the child but from our own buzzing nerves?The morning meltdowns aren’t only theirs?Do our brains forget the routines we created?Are you suddenly crying in the pantry over unmatched socks?

Let me say this clearly:

You’re not losing it.

You’re evolving.

And this season, though messy and unspoken, deserves compassion and conversation.

Let’s Parent Ourselves First: What Helps When Hormones Hijack Our Calm

Here are a few small shifts that have helped me (and other clients) reconnect with calm in the chaos:

·       Create “Safe Scripts”

When you feel yourself heating up, rehearse a line in advance.

Something like:

“I’m feeling big feelings right now. Let me take a breath.”

This models self-regulation and gives you space.

·       Build an “Emergency Anchor Kit”

Not for your child—for you.

Include things like:

A calming scentA song that resets your energyA visual (a silly photo of you and your child works wonders)A chewy snack (yes, adult sensory regulation is real)·       Use Visual Timers—for Yourself

Set a timer for your own pauses.

Allow yourself 5 minutes in the bathroom, 2 minutes before reacting, and 10 minutes of quiet time after bedtime.

You are also allowed to structure your space as you see fit.

·       Name the Shift to Your Child

With children, honesty builds trust.

I’ve told Kuku:

“Mama’s body is changing a little right now, and sometimes it makes her grumpy. But it’s not your fault.”

It gives them permission to have big feelings, too.

·       Weekly Mood Tracker (Yes, You Too!)

If you track your child’s behaviours, try this for yourself.

Create a basic tracker:

Mood | Sleep Quality | Energy | Triggers | Self-Soothing Win

Over time, you’ll spot patterns—especially those linked to cycle changes.

Activity: The Mirror Letter

This one’s gentle—and powerful.

At the end of a long day, write a short note to yourself as if you were your own child.

Try:

“Dear Mama,

You tried your best today. Even when it was hard. Even when you didn’t have all the answers. I’m proud of you.”

Stick it on your mirror. Read it every morning.

Because grace begins with you.

The Takeaway? You’re Allowed to Be Human.

You’re a parent.

You’re a woman.

You’re a beautifully complex system of love, hormones, memories, expectations, dreams, and exhaustion.

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to keep showing up—with a little more kindness toward yourself.

Let’s normalise these messy, magical mid-life transitions—so we can raise emotionally healthy kids without sacrificing our own well-being.

Need support on this journey?

You can book a private 1:1 consultation with me here

Whether you’re parenting through perimenopause or just navigating a tough season—we’re here for you.

Comment below: What’s one thing you wish someone told you about this phase of parenting?

Recommended Resources

Looking for tools to help you navigate perimenopause and emotional regulation while parenting? Here are two helpful picks:

·       Free Self-Paced Course

“The Menopause Journey: Embracing the Transition With Confidence” — This free, 100% online course guides you through the hormonal stages, practical self‑care strategies, and stress management techniques to boost your confidence and wellness during perimenopause and menopause.

Why it fits your journey

No cost, accessible anytimeExplores emotional and physical symptomsEmpowers you to build a supportive self-care routine aligned with your day-to-day parenting life·       Symptom & Mood Tracking Journal

If you’re someone who finds structure and insight helpful, try using a dedicated journal to track hormonal and emotional patterns:

Em & Friends Menopause Tracker Journal : A beautifully designed pocket journal for logging daily symptoms, moods, sleep, and stress — ideal for seeing cyclical patterns over time.How to Use These TogetherStepToolHow it Helps                                                                                           1Take the courseEnhance your awareness of hormonal shifts and develop effective self-care strategies to support your overall well-being.        2Use the tracker journal.Log how you feel each day—mood, energy, sleep, stress—even jot down a mini “pause and name it” moment.3Review weeklySee trends. Notice how parenting moments and hormone dips align. Use this insight to plan self-care resets before tough days.

Together, these tools support the awareness + action loop: learning more about your body and applying small, consistent shifts that ripple into your parenting. Because you deserve support through this transition, not just after it.

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When You Feel Everything: Hormonal Fluctuations and the Emotional Side of Parenting

“It’s just spilled tea, Mama. It’s okay.”

His tiny voice cracked through my frustration like a sliver of sunlight through storm clouds.

I had just raised my voice at my son for knocking over a cup of tea. A harmless accident. But at that moment, I felt like the world was closing in. I was exhausted, irritated, and teary-eyed—over tea.

It wasn’t just the mess. It wasn’t even about him.

It was my body’s quiet rebellion—hormonal fluctuations pulling the emotional strings behind the curtain.

The Invisible Storm We Don’t Talk About Enough

As women—especially mothers, caregivers, and educators—we’re expected to be calm, consistent, and emotionally available at all times. But what about the days when your mind is foggy, your patience is threadbare, and your emotions feel like they’re on a rollercoaster you didn’t sign up for?

Hormonal shifts—whether due to your monthly cycle, postpartum changes, perimenopause, or stress—can drastically affect:

Emotional regulationSensory sensitivityFatigue levelsYour ability to cope with everyday parenting demands

And here’s where it gets even more complex: Neurodiverse children are emotional sponges.

They don’t just hear our words.

They feel our tone, our body language, our silence, our sighs.

The Co-Regulation Loop We Forget We’re In

Children, especially those with ADHD, sensory processing differences, or emotional regulation challenges, learn to self-regulate by borrowing from us. They rely on our nervous systems to anchor theirs.

But what happens when we’re off-balance due to our own internal shifts?

They may become more reactive.

Transitions feel harder.

Meltdowns come faster.

Instructions bounce off them like rubber balls.

It’s not misbehaviour.

It’s their body reacting to our unspoken cues.

What Can You Do On the Hard Days?

We can’t prevent hormonal fluctuations—nor should we feel ashamed of them.

But we can work with them, not against them.

Here are a few gentle strategies that help me (and my son) weather the emotional weather:

1. Name It (For Yourself & Your Child)

“I’m feeling a little overwhelmed today, buddy. Not your fault. I’m just moving a bit slower.”

This models emotional honesty and helps your child understand that grown-ups have big feelings, too—and it’s okay to talk about them.

2. Shrink the Day

On those extra-sensitive days, I keep my routines minimal but predictable.

We skip non-essential tasks. I set visual timers for transitions. And we spend more time doing things that feel easy, like puzzles, dancing, or parallel play.

3. Use Scripts for Yourself, Too

Just like we give kids calm scripts like, “Can I have a break?”, try using your own:

“Let me take five deep breaths.”“I’ll come back to this in five minutes.”“Today is a slow-motion day.” 4. Create a “Cozy Corner” for Both of You

Set up a relaxing space with books, headphones, fidget toys, or calming music. When things feel overwhelming, invite your child to sit there with you—even if it’s just for a few deep breaths together.

Try This Activity: Colour Your Mood

Create a simple mood chart using colours and faces (happy, calm, tired, cranky).

Every morning and evening, ask your child to colour how they feel—and you do it, too.

This playful check-in becomes a shared language of emotions, removing shame and building empathy.

Dear Parent, You’re Not “Too Sensitive”—You’re Attuned

Sensitivity isn’t a weakness. It’s awareness.

Hormonal fluctuations don’t make you a bad parent—they make you human.

When you honour your own emotional rhythm, you teach your child the most powerful lesson of all:

Being in tune with yourself is the first step to truly connecting with others.

Need support navigating challenging parenting moments, emotional regulation, or understanding your child’s unique needs?

Book a 1:1 consultation with me here

Let’s find calm together.

Recommended Resources to Support Emotional SensitivitySensory & Calm‑Down Tools Kids Sensory Calm‑Down Tent – A cosy, private space perfect for both children and moms to retreat when emotions swell. Think quiet corner vibes—with soft light and sensory textures—to help both of you reset. Learning Resources Sensory Emotion Bottle – A mesmerizing visual tool. Shake it, watch the glitter swirl, and use it together during moments of deep breathing. A playful, practical way to introduce mindful pauses. hand2mind ‘Express Your Feelings’ Sensory Bottles – A set that comes with emotion prompts. Great for afternoon check-ins—ask your child which bottle matches their mood (and pick one for yourself, too!).

These aren’t just “toys.” They’re co-regulation tools you can use alongside your child to gently model emotional awareness, soothing rituals, and self‑soothing strategies.

Recommended Free Courses“Develop Your Emotional Intelligence” – A beginner-friendly course teaching self-awareness and emotional control—perfect for understanding what’s happening on especially sensitive days.“Achieving Emotional Intelligence” – Teaches pausing before reacting, emotion recognition, and stress management—great tools for both parents and children to co-learn calming techniques.

All these courses are 100% free and include printable activities you can easily use at home with your child to build shared emotional vocabulary and resilience.

How to Use These TogetherStepAction                                                                   1.Choose one small toolkit (such as a tent or bottle) to use regularly.2.Enroll in a course and complete at least one module per week.3.Practice side-by-side—e.g., after a lesson, build a “pause ritual” together: shake the bottle, breathe, and talk about how you feel.

Adding these simple, affordable tools and a bit of emotional intelligence learning can build a stronger emotional bridge between you and your child.

Let me know in the comments if you’d like a sample printable mood chart or a “first-activities” guide to go along with these!

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From Screen Struggles to Sweet Dreams: A Parent’s Guide to Ending Nightly Device Battles

“Just five more minutes, Mama! Please! I’m right in the middle of my mission!”

That was the nightly cry echoing through our house like a broken alarm clock.

It didn’t matter if it was a weekday or the weekend — every night, we entered the same emotional tug-of-war with my son.

I’d approach with all the calm I could muster: “Sweetheart, it’s time to switch off. Bedtime routine now.”

And he? He’d morph into a master negotiator, comedian, protestor, or sometimes… a puddle of tears.

Sound familiar?

You’re not alone.

The Emotional Drama Behind Devices

At first, I thought he was just addicted to his tablet. But that word — “addicted” — made me pause. It sounded so heavy for a little boy who loves space games, dance-alongs, and PJ Masks adventures.

I dug deeper.

You see, for many children (especially those wired a bit differently), screens aren’t just entertainment.

They’re predictable, rewarding, and emotionally safe. No social rules to decode. No fear of failure. Just control and comfort at their fingertips.

So, when we yank that away abruptly, it’s not about defiance — it’s distress.

Especially in children who are more sensitive to transitions or who struggle with executive functioning (a common trait in neurodiverse profiles).

That nightly protest? It was less about “I won’t” and more about “I can’t… not yet.”

The Power-Down Shift: What Finally Worked for Us

I realised I had to stop trying to force a shutdown… and instead guide him into one — gently, playfully, and predictably.

Here’s what changed everything in our house:

·        We created a “Power-Down Menu” Together.

Instead of a rigid routine, we built a menu of calming activities that he could choose from.

Some favourites:

Drawing a “dream picture”Listening to a favourite calming songMatching soft socks (yes, he loves this!)Sipping warm water with cinnamon

  Giving him control within limits made all the difference.

·        We Used a Countdown Visual Timer

Kids live in the now, and “10 more minutes” means nothing to them.

A visual timer helped him see time running out — no surprises, no sudden endings.

The key was to pair it with gentle verbal cues: “When the red is gone, we pause the tablet and choose from our Power-Down Menu.”

·        We Added Screen-Free Rewards That Didn’t Feel Like Bribes

Every three successful transitions earned a “Screen-Free Superstar” badge (printable ones with stars and rockets — he loved collecting them).

Eventually, the badge wasn’t just a reward.

It was a symbol of something bigger:

“I can stop. I can control this. I am growing.”

Why This Works

This approach taps into the power of:

Positive reinforcement (rewarding progress, not perfection)Cognitive restructuring (reframing screen-off time as a chance to connect, not disconnect)Sensory soothing (using predictable, calming activities to regulate the nervous system)

And most importantly?

It honours your child’s need for control and safety without giving up your boundaries.

Want to Try This at Home?

I’ve created a FREE printable: The Power-Down Toolkit for Parents.

It includes:

A build-your-own calming routineScripts for smoother transitionsScreen-free reward badges to print and use

Click below to subscribe and get instant access to your free download link.

Download the Toolkit Final Thoughts

Parenting isn’t about being perfect.

It’s about noticing what your child needs, even when their behaviour is shouting something else.

If nightly device battles are draining your peace, know this:

You’re not raising a disobedient child — you’re guiding a developing brain through a tricky transition.

And every small win at bedtime?

It’s one big step toward emotional resilience.

With calm, connection, and a bit of creativity — you’ve got this.

Need Personalised Help?

Every child is unique — and so is every family dynamic.

If you’d like personalised support to build routines, decode behaviours, or just talk through your parenting challenges…

Book a 1:1 consultation with me here

Let’s create calmer days and connected nights — together.

Namita Das is a child counsell or , ABA-trained educator, author, and, most importantly, a mom navigating the beautiful chaos of raising a neurodiverse child. Follow @EducateAble.in for more tips, stories, and free resources.

Recommended Tools & Free Courses to Support Your JourneyTools That Make Power-Down Simple

Visual timers are a game-changer for easing transitions and helping kids see time, not guess it. These are some top-rated options available in India:

Time Timer Original 8″ : The classic visual timer with a clear red “time-remaining” display—no ticking, just calm. Trusted by educators and families alike. 60‑Minute Visual Timer for Kids : Compact, easy to set, and features silent operation—perfect for bedrooms. Digital Countdown Timer : A simple digital alternative with silent alerts and USB charging—great for older kids or parents who prefer numbers.

These timers help establish the same predictable routine you’re guiding your child into—making transitions smoother and more peaceful.

Free Online Courses for Parents & Educators

These one-hour courses offer research-based insights and practical strategies for managing behaviour and supporting emotional development:

Promote Positive Behaviour in Children & Youth – Learn how to create behaviour support plans, use positive reinforcement, and guide emotional growth. Child Psychology – Managing Development – Explore cognitive and emotional development stages, understanding how behaviour evolves across childhood. Child Development: Play Therapy – Discover creative ways to use playful interactions as a calming and connective tool for your child

These are entirely free to enrol, self-paced, and come with certificates if needed. Ideal for parents seeking to enhance their knowledge and skills.

How to Use These ResourcesChoose a visual timer that fits your routine—and place it somewhere your child can see it.Declare your “power-down ritual” using the timer, followed by calm activity choices.Enhance your toolkit by taking one of these courses to unlock a more profound understanding and fresh strategies.Combine your Power-Down Toolkit PDF with your bedtime routine for seamless transitions and emotional calm.

By pairing simple tools with deeper insight, you can transform nightly battles into moments of connection—and teach your child that winding down can feel safe and empowering. If you’d like to walk through this step-by-step or create a custom plan for your family…

Book a 1:1 consultation with me here

Together, we’ll build routines that soothe, empower, and connect

The Path to Becoming a Better Parent

It Doesn’t Start with a Perfect Morning

This morning, my son hid under the bed. Again.

We were already 20 minutes behind schedule; the toast was burnt, his socks were mysteriously missing, and I could feel the tension rising like steam from my untouched black coffee.

I knelt beside the bed, trying to keep my voice calm.

“I don’t want to go. It’s loud. And the teacher says to sit still the whole time!” he shouted, his voice muffled by a pile of comic books and Legos.

At that moment, a thousand thoughts raced through my mind — my training, my tools, my tiredness.

But louder than all of that was this one whisper:

“What does a better parent do right now?”

Spoiler: The answer wasn’t in a perfect script.

It wasn’t a step-by-step Pinterest plan.

It was in connection, curiosity, and just showing up — again.

Let’s Get Real About “Better”

We live in a world that sells perfect parenting like it’s a product:

Gentle but firm

Fun but structured

Creative but calm at all times

And for parents of neurodiverse children — who might melt down in supermarkets, speak out of turn in class, or avoid eye contact at family dinners — the pressure is even heavier.

But here’s the truth:

Becoming a better parent isn’t about being calm all the time.

It’s about what you do after the storm.

The Real Work: Inside the Messy Moments

When I sat on the floor next to my son that morning, I didn’t try to fix everything.

I asked one question:

“Can you help me understand what part of school feels the hardest today?”

He peeked out from under the bed. “The bell. It’s too loud. I hate it. It makes my chest feel like it’s shaking.”

That moment of honesty cracked something open.

It reminded me that behaviour is never random.

It’s communication in disguise.

So What Does Becoming a Better Parent Look Like?

Not one-size-fits-all charts. Not trendy techniques.

It looks like this:

Seeing behaviour as a message, not a problem

Offering two simple choices when things spiral: “Do you want to wear your red shoes or your sneakers?”

Using play to diffuse resistance: “Let’s race to the car like cheetahs!”

Letting go of shame when you lose your cool — and repairing quickly: “I got frustrated. I’m sorry. Let’s try again.”

Tracking the little wins, like brushing teeth without a meltdown or putting on socks without a chase

And most importantly…

Believing you’re doing your best — and that counts.

Try This: “The Parent Pause Ritual”

Here’s a simple daily activity that’s helped me reconnect when the day feels overwhelming:

At the end of the day, ask yourself three things:

What went well today? (Even if it’s tiny!)What felt hard?What can I try differently tomorrow — just one thing?

Write it down in a notebook. Not for anyone else. Just for you.

This five-minute pause turns guilt into growth. It builds patterns of reflection that shape the way we respond, not just react.

Final Thoughts: There’s No Perfect Parent — Just a Present One

If no one told you today — you’re doing enough.

You’re learning, adjusting, showing up.

That IS the path.

So the next time your child throws a tantrum, slams the door, or hides under a pile of comic books — don’t ask yourself, “Am I a good parent?”

Ask yourself, “What is this moment trying to teach me?”

Then breathe. Try again. You’re already becoming the parent your child needs.

Need a bit of support on your parenting path?

Let’s talk it through.

Book a 1:1 consult with me here Recommended Resources to Support YouHelpful Tools for Home

For those moments when you need to redirect big emotions or bring calm through play, a sensory toy can work wonders. Consider:

Twiddlers 5‑Piece Fidget & Bubble Lava Set – A versatile set of tactile toys—bubble lava, squishy gel, and fidget tools—that can help your child self-regulate when big feelings rise. Perfect for brushing-time standoffs or transition struggles, and easily picked up.Free Courses to Deepen Your Parent-Craft

Want to explore strategies rooted in practical psychology? These free courses complement your parenting journey beautifully:

Advanced Parenting Skills – Dive into relationship-driven approaches and learn how to mentor rather than manage behaviour. Positive Parenting Skills & Techniques – Offers actionable tools for building trust, encouraging cooperation, and nurturing resilience. Special Needs School Shadow Support – Ideal for parents of neurodiverse kids—establishes visual routines, de-escalation methods, and inclusive strategies.

All are entirely free to enrol and complete, with optional certificates if you’d like to add them to your professional or personal toolbox.

What to Do With These ResourcesUse the fidget set during challenging routines, such as brushing, mornings, and transitions.Pick one course that resonates with your current challenge and commit to a weekly 20-minute module.Reflect weekly: Implement one new tip, observe your child’s reaction, and write down what worked.

By pairing simple sensory tools with intentional learning and small experiments, you’re not just reacting to challenging days—you’re shaping a more empowered parenting path.

Tuned In: How Music Transforms the Neurodiverse Child’s Brain and Daily Life

“Mummy, you be the crowd. I’m the performer.”

That’s how most of our evenings begin.

He taps play on his tab, picks his favourite tune (which changes weekly but somehow constantly loops 20 times a day), and within seconds, my living room turns into a concert stage.

He jumps. He spins. He sings loud and proud, missing every second lyric but beaming with joy.

To anyone watching, it might just look like a little boy dancing.

But—I see something else.

I see regulation.

I see sequencing, timing, and memory recall.

I see language being practised through repetition.

I see him finding control in rhythm—when the world around him feels too loud or too fast.

And here’s the kicker: we didn’t plan this as a therapeutic activity. It started as a play. And it stayed that way.

The Problem No One Talks About

Many parents of neurodiverse children (ADHD, sensory processing differences, or speech delays) constantly search for tools to help their child focus, self-regulate, and communicate. And let’s be honest—so many of those tools feel like work for both parent and child.

Visual schedules. Behaviour charts. Social stories. All useful, yes—but not always joyful.

Music, though? It doesn’t just work.

It invites.

It motivates.

And most importantly, it often bypasses resistance altogether.

Still, it’s often overlooked as a structured support. Because, well, it looks like fun. (And we’ve been conditioned to think that learning must look serious.)

But here’s what most people miss…

What Music Really Does to the Brain

Music isn’t just sound. It’s multi-sensory. It activates parts of the brain responsible for:

Language and speech processingEmotional regulationMemory and attentionMotor coordination

When a child sings, claps, taps, or dances—they’re not just “being cute.”

They’re processing patterns, predicting outcomes, and practising control.

This is especially powerful for neurodiverse children, whose brains often struggle with regulation and transition. The predictability of rhythm gives them something to hold onto. The joy of melody keeps them engaged. The repetition? That builds learning.

My Son’s “Unintentional Music Therapy” Moments

We don’t have a strict music routine in our house. But we do sing—a lot.

We sing when we cook. We sing while brushing our teeth. We sing when we’re stuck in traffic.

And during those songs, something shifts. The instructions I’d usually have to repeat 4 times suddenly get done. The whining turns into giggles. The tension softens.

Not because the music fixed everything.

But because it connected us.

And once a child feels safe and seen, they’re more likely to follow, try, and trust.

Try This at Home: Easy, Everyday Music Activities

You don’t need to be a singer. You don’t need fancy instruments. You just need intention. Here are a few ideas:

·       Routine Songs

Pick a simple tune your child already loves (like “Wheels on the Bus” or “If You’re Happy”) and rewrite the lyrics for your routine:

“This is how we brush our teeth, brush our teeth…”

“It’s time to pack the bag, pack the bag…”

·       Call and Response Play

Make up short claps or lyrics and ask your child to echo you. This playfully builds attention and memory.

·       Emotion Soundtrack

Create a “feelings playlist” together. One happy song, one calm song, one silly song. Use it to name and regulate emotions—“You’re jumping like our ‘happy song’ today!”

·       Turn Transitions into Performances

Struggling with “time to stop” moments? Make it dramatic:

“The next act is… packing up toys!” Let your child take the lead and cue the music for each task.

·       Wind-down Humming

At bedtime, hum a soft tune while gently rubbing their back or stroking their hair. No lyrics. Just presence and rhythm. It calms the nervous system for both of you.

Final Note

You don’t need more apps, charts, or timers. Sometimes, all you need is a tune.

Not to fix your child.

But to join them where they are.

So next time your little one plays that one song again (and again)…

Don’t roll your eyes.

Join the band.

Need help building playful, brain-wise strategies into your child’s daily life?

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Let’s create something beautiful—together.

Recommended Resources for Music & the BrainMusical Instrument Set for Kids

small foot Wooden Music Instrument Set (Pastel)

A beautifully crafted collection of child‑sized percussion toys—xylophone, maracas, tambourine, triangle—that encourage spontaneous play. Perfect for your living room dance sessions, early rhythm exploration, or transition cues. Crafted from solid wood, this set is durable and sensory‑rich—ideal for little hands and curious minds.

(Use it during daily routines: kitchen beats, clean‑up jingles, even quiet discovery moments.)

Free Online Course: Music in Special Education

Music in Education for Children With Special Needs

This beginner‑level course dives into how music supports cognitive, emotional, and social development for children with neurodiverse profiles like autism or ADHD. You’ll learn how melodies, rhythm, and song structure promote language, sequencing, regulation, and confidence.

Why it fits: Ideal for parents, educators, and therapists wishing to deepen their understanding of the “why” behind music‑based play.Certification: Free to complete, with an optional certificate for professional credentials or personal growth.How to Use These in Your Home & PracticeResourceUse It ForBrain-Benefitsmall foot SetIntegrate into daily play or structured music momentsBuilds motor timing, imitation, and emotional expressionCourseLearn why music helps and how to apply itSupports intentional, brain-aligned play

These aren’t about “therapy” in the formal sense—they’re about playful connection and brain‑boosting fun. Use them when your child is calm, stuck, or needs a joyful break.

When “Why Does Your Chest Look Different?” Opens the Door: Talking About Puberty with Your Child

I remember the exact moment it happened. We were reading Amazing You—a book I bought a year ago to help introduce my son to body changes as he grows. Back then, he wasn’t interested. But last week, while we were snuggled in the corner with the book open, he looked up at me and said, “Mumma, why does your chest look different from Daddy’s?”

That simple question unlocked a door I hadn’t realized was waiting to be opened. Then came the follow-up: “Will I have hair there too?”

If you’re a parent, you probably know the mix of surprise, curiosity, and “Uh-oh, what do I say?” that comes with those moments. And if your child is neurodiverse—like my son with ADHD—those questions might arrive in ways that feel sudden or unexpected.

Why Puberty Talks Can Feel So Hard

Puberty is a time of significant physical and emotional changes. Yet, many parents find it challenging to start conversations because of:

Awkwardness: Talking about private parts or body changes can feel embarrassing or taboo.Timing: Kids might not show interest until a particular moment—sometimes suddenly, sometimes gradually.Neurodiversity factors: Children with ADHD or other neurodiverse profiles may struggle to process or express feelings about these changes or may have particular sometimes blunt questions.Lack of tools: Many parents aren’t sure where to find age-appropriate language or resources.

Ignoring or rushing through these talks can unintentionally make kids feel ashamed or confused. However, when we approach these moments with calmness, openness, and honesty, we create a safe space where they can healthily understand their bodies and emotions.

How to Make Puberty Talks Easier and More Effective

Here are some practical ideas that helped me—both professionally and personally:

·       Follow Their Lead

Instead of planning a big “puberty talk,” let your child’s questions guide the conversation. When they ask something, pause, listen, and respond with simple honesty.

·       Use Books and Stories

Books like Amazing You are wonderful because they explain changes with gentle illustrations and clear, kid-friendly language. Reading together invites curiosity without pressure.

·       Normalize Feelings

It’s okay for your child to feel curious, confused, or even uncomfortable. Say things like, “Lots of kids wonder about this,” or “I felt the same way when I was your age.” This helps reduce anxiety around the topic.

·       Keep It Simple and Revisit Often

You don’t need to explain everything in one go. Puberty is a journey, not a one-time talk. Keep revisiting the topic as your child grows and their questions evolve.

·       Create a Visual or Play-Based Activity

For kids who learn best through play or visuals (especially many neurodiverse children), try drawing body outlines and labelling changes or using dolls or action figures to discuss growth and feelings.

Actionable Activity: “My Growing Body” Drawing Game

Here’s a fun and calming activity you can do together to make puberty less scary and more understandable:

What you need: Paper, crayons or markers, and a quiet corner.

Step 1: Draw a simple outline of a human body on a big sheet of paper.

Step 2: Invite your child to add features they notice changing or are curious about — hair, height, voice, skin, etc.

Step 3: Discuss each change as it is added. Use simple words like “Your voice might get deeper” or “Hair can grow in new places.”

Step 4: Add feelings, too! Ask, “How do you feel about these changes?” Let your child express any worries or excitement.

Step 5: Keep the drawing somewhere visible so you can add to it over time, making this a gentle, ongoing conversation.

Final Thoughts

Puberty can feel like a mountain for parents and kids alike, but it doesn’t have to be scary or awkward. When you respond to curiosity with kindness and openness—especially if your child experiences the world a little differently—you build trust and confidence that lasts a lifetime.

Remember, this journey is about walking alongside your child, step by step, question by question, creating a safe space for all the wonders and worries growing up brings.

Want a FREE printable guide with “Tips for Talking About Puberty with Your Child (Without the Awkward!)” plus our Top 5 Books for Body Curiosity and Early Puberty?

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Suppose you’d like personal support or guidance navigating these conversations. In that case, especially if your child is neurodiverse or you want tailored advice, I’m here for you.

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Book Your 1:1 ConsultationRecommended Resources to Support Your Child’s Puberty Journey

Navigating the journey of puberty can be smoother with the right resources. Here are some handpicked books and courses that can guide both you and your child through this transformative phase:

Books for ChildrenGulu – The Essential Guide To Puberty For Boys (English): A fun and informative guide that answers common questions boys have about body changes, emotions, and relationships. Culturally sensitive and medically accurate, it’s a great conversation starter.Growing Up Great!The Ultimate Puberty Book for Boys: This book provides a positive and empowering approach to understanding puberty, enabling boys to navigate the changes with confidence.A Girl’s Guide to Puberty & Periods: An illustrated, body-positive book designed for girls aged 9-14, covering topics from body changes to emotional well-being.The Puberty Book: A Guide for Children and Teenagers provides straightforward information on the physical and emotional changes that occur during puberty, suitable for both boys and girls.Menstrupedia Comic: The Friendly Guide to Periods for Girls is a comic-style book that explains menstruation and puberty in a relatable and engaging way, aiming to break taboos and promote understanding.Courses for Parents and EducatorsBasic Guide to Puberty and Gender: A free online course that provides an inclusive overview of puberty, covering physical, mental, and social changes, along with practical guidance for supporting teens.Diploma in Child Psychology and Development. This course explores the stages of child development, providing insights into emotional and behavioural changes during adolescence and equipping parents and educators with the knowledge to support children’s growth.Basics of Child Development & Wellbeing Explore theories of child development and learn how to create a supportive environment for young minds, focusing on the physical and emotional transitions during puberty.

These resources are designed to empower both you and your child with knowledge and understanding, making the journey through puberty a positive and informed experience.

Because No Child Should Hate School: A Wake-Up Call for Parents and Educators

He stood at the gate, his little hands clenched around my kurti. “Please don’t make me go,” he whispered.

My son, usually the spark of our mornings, had tears in his eyes. He wasn’t being dramatic. He wasn’t just “having a phase.” This was a child who loved dancing to Jack Hartmann songs, led pretend concerts in our living room, and had a curious, questioning mind.

And yet, here he was—begging to stay home.

I froze. Not because I didn’t know what to say—but because I did.

School Shouldn’t Break a Child’s Spirit

We often discuss education as a form of empowerment. But for many neurodiverse children, school becomes a battleground. Not because they don’t want to learn but because the environment doesn’t accommodate the way they learn.

From fluorescent lights that overstimulate to the pressure of sitting still for hours, from rigid expectations to misunderstood behaviours—school, a place meant to inspire, can sometimes do the exact opposite.

I see this all too often:

Children are labelled as “disruptive” when they’re just dysregulated.

Kids are punished for zoning out when they’re simply overwhelmed.

Little ones refuse to go to school not out of rebellion—but out of exhaustion.

Let’s Decode the Behaviour (Not Discipline It)

When a child says they hate school, our instinct is often to correct, lecture, or coax. But here’s what we miss:

Behaviour is communication.

Just like adults avoid toxic workplaces, kids avoid classrooms that feel unsafe—emotionally, physically, or mentally. And for a child with sensory sensitivities, anxiety, or an undiagnosed learning difficulty, even small triggers feel like mountains.

Here’s what might be happening behind the scenes:

A teacher uses fast-paced, complex instructions that your child struggles to process.Loud classrooms that feel like noise tunnels.Group tasks that spark social anxiety.Worksheets filled with print too dense for tired little eyes.What Helped My Son (and Many Kids I Work With)

Here’s the thing—I didn’t “fix” my son. I understood him. And then, I worked with his teachers to create a more supportive environment. Here’s what made the difference:

Visual routines at home and school – He could see what to expect. That calmed the chaos.Choice boards – Letting him choose between two tasks gave him control, not just instructions.Movement breaks – Dance breaks, wall push-ups, or just a quick walk during homework reduced meltdowns.Emotion check-ins – Using a simple “how do I feel” chart helped him start expressing what words couldn’t.A buddy system – One friend who understood his pace and style made all the difference at school.Try This Today: “The School Feelings Jar”

A simple after-school emotional check-in activity

What You Need:

A jar (or bowl)5 coloured paper slips or emotional cards (Happy, Sad, Angry, Confused, Calm)

How to Use It:

Each day after school, ask your child to pick a colour or card that matches how they felt at school.

Then ask, “What made you feel that way?”

Don’t correct. Don’t judge. Just listen.

Over time, you’ll spot patterns—what triggers them, what helps them thrive.

Because Childhood Shouldn’t Hurt. And School Shouldn’t Either.

Let’s stop glorifying struggle as strength.

Let’s stop brushing off school resistance as laziness.

And most importantly, let’s start asking this simple question:

What does my child need to feel safe, not just smart?

Did your child ever say they hate school? What did you do? Share in the comments—your story might help another parent feel less alone.

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Want more actionable tips to create a supportive learning environment at home?10 Simple Tweaks to Make Your Home/Classroom Neurodiverse-Friendly

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Recommended ResourcesSensory tools to help regulate and engage Animal sensory mats : These tactile mats feature various textures and designs that encourage hands‑on exploration and help children with sensory processing needs feel grounded. Liquid bubble timers : Visually calming and soothing—great for calming a stressed or overwhelmed child during homework, transitions, or classroom breaks .

These are low-cost, easy-to-source sensory aids you or teachers can tuck into a calm‑down corner at home or school.

Free micro‑courses to deepen your understanding Inclusive Event Planning for Neurodiversity : Learn practical strategies to create environments—whether event, classroom, or home—that actively affirm and include neurodiverse children. Understanding the Autism Spectrum Disorder : A concise, 1–3‑hour psychology course covering how to support autistic learners by focusing on strengths and resilience.

Both are free to enrol, immediately applicable, and empower parents and educators to make small shifts with a significant impact.

How to use these together:Start small – Add a sensory mat or liquid timer to your child’s workspace.Pair it with knowledge – Enroll in one of the micro-courses to understand why these tools work.Reflect and adapt – Use insights from the courses to notice subtle changes in your child’s behaviour and fine-tune your environment accordingly.

By combining simple sensory tools with purpose-driven learning, you’re not just offering support—you’re crafting spaces where children feel understood, safe, and capable.

Book Review: Do You Remember? by Freida McFadden

I often find myself drawn to stories that explore the complexity of the human mind—and Do You Remember? Delivers just that. Freida McFadden, once again, crafts a psychological thriller that feels like peeling layers off the human psyche.

The Premise: Tess, the protagonist, wakes up each day with no memory of who she is, except for some fragmented recollections—most notably, of Harry, a man she once loved deeply. Yet now, she finds herself living a life with Graham, a man she doesn’t remember marrying. Every morning begins anew, and every clue she uncovers brings more questions. Who is lying? What is real? And what, if anything, should Tess remember?

As someone who supports children with ADHD and other neurodiverse needs, I found the narrative oddly familiar—the disorientation, the emotional confusion, the desperate need to create continuity when the world doesn’t quite line up. That’s what made Tess’s voice stand out. Her struggle with memory is metaphorical, too—representing how trauma, control, and manipulation can fracture not just recollection but identity itself.

What Worked for Me:

The writing is fast-paced, making it an ideal read for busy moms like me who get 30-minute reading windows during quiet time. I read it in two sittings and felt the pull of each chapter ending.Tess is well written—not overly dramatic, but layered. Her internal struggle felt authentic.The red juice metaphor (and its real significance) was a chilling touch. As someone trained to spot behavioural patterns, I caught on quickly. However, the deeper reason behind it still gave me goosebumps.McFadden’s medical background adds nuance to how brain trauma and post-operative recovery are described. I appreciated the balance between fiction and plausible psychological decline.

What Didn’t Land As Strongly:

The plot felt somewhat repetitive, particularly with the recurring routine of waking up. Perhaps intentionally done to mirror Tess’s mental loop, but I did find myself skimming through some parts.For an avid psychological thriller reader, the twist wasn’t earth-shattering. I had a few guesses early on that turned out to be correct—but that didn’t reduce my enjoyment. It still felt rewarding to see it unfold.

From a therapeutic lens, the book raises important questions:

How much control is too much in a relationship?Can love become a form of manipulation?What does it mean to rebuild your identity when your own mind betrays you?

I couldn’t help but reflect on how identity, memory, and consistency are cornerstones of development. Tess’s story, though fictional, reminded me how much we all rely on emotional anchors—people who truly see us. For Tess, it was Harry. For children, it’s often that one adult who consistently shows up and believes in them.

A gripping, fast-paced read that blends suspense with psychological realism. It’s not McFadden’s twistiest tale, but it might be one of her most layered. And for anyone interested in human behaviour, memory, and emotional manipulation—this one is a solid pick.

Looking forward to diving into more of Freida McFadden’s thrillers! This one kept me up way past bedtime (which, as any mom of a 7-year-old knows, is a big deal ).

Not Just Stress: The Silent Struggle of Women’s Health and What We Can Do About It

“You’re just stressed. Maybe you need some rest.”

That’s what the doctor told my friend Aanya last May, right around Women’s Health Month. She was juggling a full-time job, parenting her autistic son, managing meltdowns, preparing visual schedules, and still trying to be the mom who showed up with a smile at the PTA.

But something felt off.

Aanya had been waking up with pounding headaches, forgetting things mid-sentence, and her heart raced for no reason. She knew it wasn’t just stress. Still, she went home, made dinner, helped with homework, and didn’t press further.

Two months later, she was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder—missed, delayed, and dismissed.

The Invisible Weight Mothers Carry

I know this script all too well. We carry the invisible weight of caregiving:

Therapy appointments

Learning support

Emotional coaching

And all the unspoken “in-betweens”, such as preparing sensory-friendly meals and decoding behaviour mid-meltdown.

Yet, when we raise our hand for help, we’re often told:

“It’s probably hormonal.”

“You’re anxious.”

“Maybe you’re just doing too much.”

And while we are doing a lot, our physical and emotional needs deserve more than a casual shrug.

Why Gender Bias in Health Is a Silent Threat

Here’s what many don’t realise:

Persistent gender bias in healthcare is not just about being ignored. It’s about missed diagnoses, delayed care, and serious long-term risks.

Women are more likely to be under-treated for pain.Symptoms like fatigue, anxiety, or brain fog are often chalked up to “just stress.”Even heart attacks present differently in women and are frequently misdiagnosed.

As caregivers, our instinct is to put everyone else first. But untreated issues in our bodies and minds don’t just affect us—they ripple out into how we parent, how we cope, and how we connect.

When the Caregiver Is Running on Empty

There’s a moment every mom of a neurodivergent child experiences:

You’ve explained the same thing ten times. Your child is stimming, or crying, or fixating. And instead of showing up with empathy, you snap. Not because you don’t love them. But because you haven’t had time to rest, check in with yourself, or even breathe.

This is where burnout breeds shame.

And shame convinces us we’re not doing enough.

But in reality? We’re trying to parent from an empty tank.

A Different Kind of Self-Care

Self-care isn’t always spa days and scented candles. Sometimes, it’s:

Booking that long-overdue health check-upSaying “no” without explanationAsking your partner to handle bedtime for a weekTake 10 minutes to ground yourself before a storm hitsJournaling one word to describe your feeling today (not your child’s)Let’s Try This: A 5-Minute Check-In Activity.

Here’s a quick self-regulation + reflection tool I use with moms during sessions:

The STOP Method (5 minutes daily)

S – Stop what you’re doing and sit, just for 60 seconds.

T – Take a deep breath. In for 4… hold for 2… out for 6.

O – Observe what’s happening in your body. Where do you feel tight? Tired?

P – Proceed with intention. Ask yourself: What do I need right now?

(A snack? A cry? A walk around the house? To lie down for 3 minutes?)

Do this daily for one week. You’ll be surprised how often your body whispers what your brain tries to silence.

Final Thoughts: You Matter, Too.

Mothers, educators, therapists, women—we are often the glue holding it all together.

But even glue needs rest, warmth, and reinforcement.

Today, I invite you to rewrite the script.

Speak up. Slow down. Seek help—not because you’re weak, but because you’re wise.

Your health matters.

Because your child isn’t just watching what you say—they’re watching how you care for yourself.

Has your health ever been dismissed or overlooked? Share your story in the comments. Let’s raise our voices, not just for ourselves, but for every woman who’s ever been told it’s “just stress.”

Need a listening ear or personalised support?

Book a 1:1 session hereRecommended Tools & Courses

To support your journey toward better self-awareness and advocacy, here are some thoughtfully selected resources:

Self-Care Journals The Therapeutic Journal: A self-care journal for mothers – Authored by a mother, this guided journal offers prompts, reflective exercises, and mindfulness tools—perfect for busy moms needing a quiet moment of reconnection each day. MY STRESS TRACKER – A Journal to Map & Manage Your Stress – A simple yet effective tool to track daily stress levels, triggers, and coping strategies. Ideal for transforming the STOP method into written reflections and visually monitoring patterns. Daily Self-Care Journal for Women (A5) – Compact and beautifully designed, this wellness journal features daily prompts for mindfulness, setting goals, expressing gratitude, and managing stress, making it ideal for embedding positive self-care routines into a busy schedule.Free Online Courses Introduction to Caregiving – This short, free online course covers the essentials of caregiving, including ethical considerations, communication, and emotional support. A helpful foundation for understanding how to care for others and yourself. Wellbeing & Mental Health – These cover stress management, emotional regulation, and holistic self-care—perfect for building personal resilience and modelling healthy coping strategies.Why These Resources Matter

Each of these tools aligns with the themes of our blog:

Journals offer a safe space to empathetically check in with yourself, helping you notice emotions, patterns, and needs—just like the STOP method we discussed earlier.Courses empower you with knowledge and strategies to establish healthy boundaries and care for yourself, which in turn strengthens your capacity to care for your children and family.How to Use ThemResourceSuggested UseJournalsDedicate even 5 minutes a day—perhaps after bedtime—to reflect, track anxiety/fatigue, journal gratitude, or affirmations.Online CoursesChoose one course and commit to completing one module per week. Use it as a conversation starter in support groups or with your partner to involve them in your well-being.

Adding these tools and courses to your self-care toolkit can make the invisible load feel lighter—and normalise the practice of caring for yourself not out of luxury but necessity.

Curious about more personalised strategies? Feel free to comment below.

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You’re not alone—and your wellness matters.