Namita Das's Blog, page 11

Therapists Share Brilliant Solutions for Kids Who Struggle to Sit Still

What I Wish More Parents and Teachers Knew About ‘Difficult’ Behaviour

“Why can’t he just sit still like the other kids?”

That was the question someone whispered to me — kindly but with frustration — after my son wriggled out of his chair during story time at a workshop I was leading.

I smiled politely.

But inside, I flinched.

Because I used to ask that question, too… before I understood what was happening.

See, my son isn’t “bad,” “naughty,” or “out of control.”

His brain just works a little differently.

It lights up with excitement, fizzles with anxiety, and races ahead even when his little feet are trying to stay still.

The Real Problem No One Talks About

Here’s the truth many parents and teachers miss — and I say this gently, with love:

Children don’t misbehave to annoy us.

They communicate through behaviour when they don’t have the words, the skills, or the emotional regulation to express themselves.

Especially for neurodiverse kids, the world can feel like an overwhelming carnival — too loud, too bright, too fast.

And what do we do when they act out?

We tell them to calm down, focus, or sit still.

But we rarely teach them how.

That’s the gap.

And it’s where we can make the most significant difference as caregivers, educators, and therapists.

What I’ve Learned

Let me be honest — I’ve made mistakes.

I’ve tried reward charts. I’ve raised my voice. I’ve begged my son to just “try harder.”

But over time, I began to see a pattern — in my clients and in my own home:

When we lead with connection, kids respond with trust.

When we make tasks playful and bite-sized, they feel manageable.

Accepting how they’re wired makes them feel safe in their own skin.

So today, I want to share a few “brilliant solutions” I’ve gathered over the years — tools that don’t just manage behaviour but nurture growth from the inside out.

Three Brilliant, Brain-Friendly Solutions1.     The Reset Ritual

Create a 2-minute routine your child can use when they feel “too much.”

Ours is:

Blow 3 bubblesSqueeze a soft toy tightShake arms like spaghetti

This gives the body a way to release tension — and the brain a way to regroup.

2.     Phonics Hide-and-Seek

Turn reading time into a scavenger hunt!

Write letter sounds or sight words on cards and hide them around the room.

Each time your child finds one, they read it aloud — and then do a silly action (jump, clap, spin).

This blends movement, laughter, and literacy and works wonders with kids who can’t sit still for long.

3.     The Feeling Wheel Jar

Use a jar filled with slips of paper showing emotions and tiny actions (e.g.,

“I feel excited – let’s dance!” or

“I feel frustrated – time to draw it out!”).

This teaches emotional expression and coping skills in a fun and doable way.

It’s Not About Perfect Parenting — It’s About Progress

Every child is different.

What works for mine may not work for yours — and that’s okay.

But when we shift from controlling behaviour to understanding needs, everything changes.

We stop reacting.

We start responding.

And most of all, we remember:

Your child doesn’t need to be “fixed.”

They need to be seen, heard, and supported — just as they are.

Over to You!

Which tip will you try this week?

Or is there a behaviour that’s puzzling you right now?

Drop it in the comments — let’s figure it out together.

And if you’re looking for personalised support, I’d love to walk alongside you.

Book a 1:1 consultation here – you don’t have to do this alone.

Subscribe

Recommended ResourcesHelpful Tools for Home

These tools can support your child’s learning and emotional regulation:

Visual Timers : Aid in managing transitions and building focus. Phonics Flashcards : Make reading sessions interactive and engaging. Sensory Toys : Help calm and focus the child’s energy.

Note: Please select products that are age-appropriate and meet safety standards.

Free Online Courses for Parents & Educators

Expand your understanding of ADHD and child development with these free courses:

ADHD in Child Development : Learn about ADHD symptoms, subtypes, and treatment options. Early Childhood Behavioral and Psychological Disorders : Understand various behavioural and psychological disorders affecting children. Child Development: Self-Regulation : Explore how self-regulation skills develop and how to support them. Diploma in Special Needs : Gain insights into managing special needs in children, including ADHD.

These self-paced courses can provide valuable strategies to support your child’s growth.

Investing time in understanding your child’s unique needs can significantly impact their development. These resources are here to support you on this journey.

Feeling Lost About Therapy & School Support? This Episode Is For You!

As parents of neurodiverse children, one of the most confusing and overwhelming parts of the journey is figuring out the right kind of support—both at school and through therapy. You’re not alone if you’ve ever asked:

“What kind of therapy does my child actually need?”“How do I know if the school is offering real support or just ticking boxes?”“Is it okay to ask questions during IEP meetings?”

In Episode 10 of our Shadow Teacher YouTube Series, I talk about “Helping Parents Navigate Therapy & School Support”—a heartfelt, honest, and practical guide for parents who want to do what’s best for their child but feel stuck or unsure where to begin.

What’s Inside This Episode?

The difference between speech therapy, occupational therapy, ABA, and counselingHow to recognize red flags in school support (and what to do about them)Tips on building a partnership with your child’s teachers and therapistsReal-life stories of families who’ve faced these very dilemmasA free downloadable Parent Toolkit PDF with checklists, templates, and questions to ask

Whether your child is newly diagnosed or you’ve been on this journey for a while, this episode is designed to give you clarity, confidence, and calm.

Watch the full episode here:

Download the Free Parent Toolkit to guide your next steps with confidence!

Parent ToolkitDownload

Let’s make the system work for your child—not the other way around.
Don’t forget to like, share, and comment on the video—your story could help another family feel less alone.

Gentle Ways to Help Your Child Through Escape Paralysis (Without Power Struggles)

“Mumma… I just can’t. Please don’t make me.”

The pencil dropped. His shoulders stiffened.

He wasn’t yelling. He wasn’t crying.

He had completely frozen.

That was my son, Arihaan, last week during a simple copy-writing task. One he’d done before. One he could technically do.

But something in him just… shut down.

And if you’re a parent, teacher, or caregiver—especially to a neurodiverse child—you’ve likely seen this happen, too.

What Is Escape Paralysis? (And Why It’s Not Misbehavior)

Escape paralysis is when a child avoids, shuts down, or “freezes” to escape an overwhelming situation. It’s often misunderstood as laziness or stubbornness, but what’s really happening is that the child’s nervous system is sounding an internal alarm.

The child might:

Say “I don’t know” repeatedlyStare blankly or withdrawRefuse to begin or complete a taskSuddenly, feel sleepy or distractedCry or plead to stop

This isn’t manipulation.

This isn’t attitude.

This is protection—a child’s brain shielding them from what it perceives as danger.

At that moment, the worksheet is the tiger.

Why Escape Paralysis Happens

Let’s get inside your child’s mind for a moment. Here’s what might be triggering their freeze response:

Fear of failure: “What if I mess it up again?”Past trauma around learning: Maybe they’ve been scolded or laughed at.The task feels too big: “I don’t know where to start.”Sensory overload: Noisy classroom, flickering lights, itchy clothes—it all adds up.Low motivation, high demand: This is especially true for kids with ADHD or anxiety.

And what happens next? The brain hits pause.

Cognitively, emotionally, physically.

We call it paralysis because it feels like the child is stuck in place—with no safe exit.

The Hidden Problem: We Often Push Harder

As adults, we rush in with logic or pressure:

“It’s just a few questions.”“You’ve done this before!”“If you finish, I’ll give you a reward.”

But here’s the thing: when your child is frozen, they can’t think. They can’t comply.

What they need is safety—not speed.

So What Can You Do Instead?

Here’s what I do—with my son, the children I work with, and myself when I start to freeze.

1.    Name What’s Happening (Gently)

“Looks like your brain is feeling stuck right now.”

“Your face tells me this feels really hard.”

When we name the freeze, we take away its power.

We also show our kids we see them—not just their behaviour.

2.    Break the Task Into a Micro-Step

“Just write the first letter.”

“Let’s circle three words, then pause.”

Tiny wins build momentum. And momentum helps melt paralysis.

3.    Give a Choice—Any Choice

“Do you want to write with a pencil or marker?”

“Want to sit at the table or under the table?”

When a child is frozen, they’ve lost their sense of control.

Offering small choices rebuilds it.

4.    Add Movement to Reset the Body

“Let’s shake off the stuckness like jelly!”

“Can we do 5 frog jumps before we try again?”

Movement wakes up the body and regulates the brain. It’s like turning the emotional volume down so learning can happen again.

5.    Celebrate the Try, Not the Result

“You gave it a shot even though it felt hard. That’s brave!”

“Look how you melted your stuck feeling with a little step!”

This rewires their belief from “I’m bad at this” to “I can keep going, even when it’s hard.”

An Activity You Can Try Today: “Freeze & Melt” Game

Tell your child, “Pretend to be an ice cube!”

Then you become the sun—wiggling, dancing, telling silly jokes—to melt them slowly.

As they “melt,” they can giggle, stretch, and move freely.

Why it works:

It mimics the emotional freeze and teaches that we can move through it—playfully. It also releases built-up tension and invites joy back into the moment.

Final Thoughts:

Escape paralysis isn’t something to “fix”—it’s something to understand.

Your child isn’t trying to get out of the task.

They’re trying to survive it.

When we respond with patience, flexibility, and a sprinkle of creativity—we teach them the most important lesson of all:

“You are safe. You are capable. And we’ll figure it out together.”

Want more tools to help your child move through stuck moments?

Let’s talk. Book a 1:1 consultation with me here: 

https://topmate.io/namita_das11

In the comments, tell me: Have you seen escape paralysis in your child? What did it look like?

Subscribe

Recommended Tools to Support Your Child Through Escape Paralysis

When children experience escape paralysis, incorporating sensory tools and structured aids can be beneficial. Here are some thoughtfully selected products:

FARIOX Calming Sensory Liquid Motion Bubbler Timers (2-Pack) These colourful timers provide a visual calming effect, helping children self-regulate during moments of stress or overwhelm.Livond Calming Sensory Toys – 3 Pack Liquid Motion Bubbler Timers A set of three motion bubblers that can be a visual aid to soothe and focus children during challenging tasks.FRIENDLY CUDDLE Weighted Lap Pad for Kids (5 lbs) This lap pad offers gentle deep-pressure stimulation, promoting a sense of calm and aiding concentration during seated activities.Visual Timer for Kids – Animal Silent Countdown Timer (60 Minutes) A silent visual timer that helps children understand the concept of time, aiding in task completion and reducing anxiety associated with time-bound activities.Skillmatics Push & Pop Mobile Phone – Sensory & Fidget Toy A portable, silicone fidget toy designed like a mobile phone, perfect for on-the-go sensory play and stress relief.UOOEFUN 12-Sided Fidget Cube This multi-functional fidget cube offers various tactile experiences, helping to keep restless hands engaged and minds focused.SNUGSHINE Glow in The Dark Weighted Lap Pad (Glowy the Dog) A comforting, glow-in-the-dark weighted stuffed animal that provides sensory input and a sense of security, especially during nighttime routines.

Integrating these tools into your child’s daily routine can provide additional support in managing escape paralysis. Remember, each child is unique, so it is essential to observe and understand what works best for them.

If you need personalized guidance on selecting appropriate tools or strategies for your child, please book a 1:1 consultation with me here: https://topmate.io/namita_das11.

Together, we can create a supportive environment that empowers your child to confidently navigate challenges.

Working Together for a Child’s Growth – Why Parent-Teacher Collaboration Matters

I’ve seen one thing make a tremendous difference in a child’s development: collaboration.

In my latest YouTube episode, “How Teachers & Parents Can Work Together for a Child’s Progress,” I talk about what it really means to build a team around a child—especially one with special needs. Whether you’re a parent struggling to feel heard, or a teacher juggling multiple responsibilities while trying to do your best, this episode is for you.

Here’s what I cover in the episode:

Why open communication is the foundation of a strong support systemCommon misunderstandings between home and school—and how to fix themReal-life examples and role-plays to show how we can solve problems togetherA FREE downloadable Team Communication Toolkit to help you start strong

What’s in the Toolkit? The toolkit includes communication logs, email templates, and goal-setting forms that make it easier for everyone to stay on the same page. I created these resources to help you move from frustration to clarity—and most importantly, to help your child thrive.

Watch the full episode now:

I created this series for all the incredible parents, teachers, and shadow educators out there who are making inclusive education a reality. If that’s you—thank you.

Let me know in the comments how you collaborate with your child’s school or what challenges you face. I’d love to include some of your stories in future episodes!

Don’t forget to download your free Team Communication Toolkit
Subscribe to the channel for weekly episodes with practical guidance you can use right away.

Team Communication ToolkitDownload

Subscribe

Why Symptoms Fluctuate Throughout Life — And What That Actually Means

“Mumma, I finished my homework already!”

It was Saturday evening. Arihaan was proud, I was thrilled, and the weekend felt smooth for once. We celebrated with some pancakes and an impromptu dance party in the kitchen.

Fast forward to Monday morning: the homework was gone.

We checked the drawers, the table, under the bed… only to find it hidden beneath a stack of puzzles and books he’d played with late Sunday night.

Was it carelessness? Laziness? Forgetfulness?

No. It was simply a fluctuation.

Wait, But I Thought We Were Past This?

I can’t tell you how many parents I’ve spoken to who feel defeated when old behaviours resurface after weeks—or even months—of progress.

You’re not alone if you’ve ever thought:

“She was doing so well with routines—why is brushing teeth a battle again?”“He was making eye contact and answering questions—why has he gone quiet?”“I thought the meltdowns were behind us…”

These ups and downs are more than ordinary—they’re expected. Yet, no one really prepares you for them.

The Hidden Layers Behind Fluctuations

Here’s what we rarely talk about: Neurodiverse children are constantly navigating invisible factors that affect how they show up on any given day.

Think about it:

A night of poor sleepA noisy classroomA slight change in the teacher’s toneA skipped snackAn unfamiliar smell in the room

These seemingly small things can have a significant impact. Our children’s emotional and sensory systems are more sensitive than we realize. When their environment shifts—even slightly—it’s like handing them a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces. They’re still trying to complete it, but it takes more time, energy, and, sometimes, a meltdown.

That doesn’t mean they’ve “lost” a skill. It means they’re using their brainpower elsewhere—on regulating, adapting, coping.

Progress Isn’t Linear (And That’s Okay)

I used to measure progress by how many days in a row we got things “right.” But that only led to burnout—for both of us.

What I’ve learned instead is this:

Progress loops. It dips, returns, and sometimes pauses while other parts of your child’s development catch up.

Fluctuations are not setbacks.

They’re simply reminders that our kids are not robots—they’re humans learning to live in a world that doesn’t always speak their language.

So What Can You Do About It?

Here are three gentle things we practice in our home (and with my clients) when symptoms shift:

Name the Weather, Not the Behavior

Instead of saying, “Why are you being so cranky?” I try,

“It feels like today is a bit stormy, huh?”

This removes blame and invites reflection without judgment.

Create a Consistent Wind-Down Routine

Right before bed, we have a 5-minute quiet time. No pressure to talk or explain. Sometimes we read, sometimes we cuddle, sometimes we lie there and breathe together. It gives his nervous system a place to land.

Track Moments, Not Metrics

Instead of tracking “good days” and “bad days,” I jot down one moment of connection each evening. Something that worked, no matter how small:

“He waited for his turn at snack time today.”

“He asked for help instead of shutting down.”

These glimpses build perspective—real, resilient progress.

You’re Not Going Backward. You’re Moving Differently.

So the next time your child forgets a skill, melts down in a familiar place, or suddenly struggles with something they’d mastered, take a breath.

They are not regressing. They are recalibrating.

And so are you.

Need help navigating your child’s ups and downs? I offer gentle, personalized support.

Click here to book a 1:1 consultation with me: https://topmate.io/namita_das11

In the comments, I’d love to know: What’s one fluctuation you’ve noticed in your child—and how did you respond?

Subscribe

Recommended Tools to Support Your Child’s Journey

Understanding that fluctuations in behaviour are a natural part of growth, especially for neurodiverse children, it’s beneficial to have supportive tools. Here are some thoughtfully selected products that can assist in creating a nurturing environment:

Sensory Activity Boards Engaging in tactile play can help children self-regulate and focus.Ji and Ja Sensory Activity Board for Kids: A silicone fidget toy designed to enhance fine motor skills and relieve stress. Suitable for children aged 3 and above. Visual Timers Visual timers can assist children in understanding time concepts, aiding in transitions and task completion.Visual Timer for Kids by Lemon Littles: A 60-minute silent countdown timer with an animal-themed design, ideal for improving time management skills. Weighted Blankets Weighted blankets provide deep pressure stimulation, which can have a calming effect and improve sleep quality. Harkla Kids Weighted Blanket (5 lbs) Made from bamboo and minky fabric, this blanket is designed for sensory seekers and autistic children. Suitable for kids weighing between 30-40 lbs. Calming Sensory Toys These toys can help reduce anxiety and improve focus by providing visual and tactile stimulation.Livond Calming Sensory Toys (3 Pack Liquid Motion): A set of liquid motion bubblers that can serve as practical calm-down tools for children with ADHD and anxiety.

Incorporating these tools into daily routines can provide additional support for your child’s unique needs. Every child is different, so it is essential to observe and understand what works best for them.

If you need personalized guidance on selecting the right tools or strategies for your child, please book a 1:1 consultation with us: https://topmate.io/namita_das11.

Not Just the Pill: Smart, Heart-Centered Rules for Using ADHD Medication Effectively

“He seems… too quiet,” I told myself.

I remember the exact moment I knew. Kuku had just started on medication for attention challenges. And while the impulsive chatter and endless bouncing slowed down, so did something else — his spark.

At first, I tried to tell myself it was the adjustment phase. Or maybe I was overthinking. But his sudden, belly-deep, joy-filled laugh was missing a few days in. His play became flatter, and his drawings were less wild and colourful. The Kuku I knew was still there, just muffled. That’s when I knew this particular medication wasn’t for us.

But let me be clear — I’m not anti-medication.

I’ve seen how life-changing the proper medication can be. It can open doors to focus, reduce emotional overwhelm, and help a child participate in school and social life more meaningfully.

But the problem I often see — and one I fell into myself — is when we treat medication as the only solution, or worse, the quick fix. That’s where many families start to feel lost, unsure, or even guilty.

So, how do we use medication effectively — without losing our child in the process?

Let’s break it down.

Rule #1: Observe the Child, Not Just the Clock

Medication timelines (starts working in 30 mins, last 4–6 hours…) are helpful — but what’s more useful is observing your child’s behaviour, emotions, and engagement across the day.

Are they focused but anxious?Calmer but disconnected?Compliant but unusually fatigued?

Create a simple “daily snapshot” journal. Just jot down what you notice in the morning, mid-day, and evening. You’ll begin to see patterns that dosage labels can’t show.

Rule #2: Medication Supports — It Doesn’t Replace

One of the biggest misconceptions is that medication will teach your child to regulate their emotions, behaviour, or routines. It won’t. That’s your job, and theirs — with your guidance.

You still need:

Clear, visual routinesCalm-down spaces and strategiesPlay-based learning to explore feelings and practice skillsReinforcement for positive behaviors

Think of medication as the volume dial. It can lower the noise so your child can hear your teaching. But you still need to do the learning.

Rule #3: Let Your Child’s Voice Lead

Even young children can reflect on their feelings — if we ask the right way. During our brief medication journey, I started asking Kuku:

“What did your brain feel like today? Like a tiger? Like jelly? Like sunshine?”

His answer one day?

“Like I was wrapped in cotton wool. I wanted to run, but my legs forgot how.”

That’s when I stopped. And I knew it was the right choice.

Children may not say, “I feel emotionally numbed,” — but they’ll show you in their play, drawings, or stories. We just have to listen.

Try This at Home: “Brain Weather” Chart

Create a simple chart together with your child:

Clear: I felt happy and focusedCloudy: I felt slow, tired, or foggyStormy: I had big feelings or challenging moments

Use it at bedtime. Over a week, notice the trends. Are certain days stormier? Does “cloudy” appear too often after medication? This insight is gold — for you and your doctor.

Final Thoughts

Medication is a deeply personal choice. For some, it creates life-changing clarity. For others, like our family, it simply wasn’t the right fit. That doesn’t make either path wrong — what matters is staying tuned in to your child, not just the prescription.

We don’t need perfect answers. We just need informed, compassionate ones.

Tell me in the comments:

Have you tried medication for your child? What’s one thing that surprised you about the journey?

Need help navigating this decision?

Book a 1:1 consultation with me — I’ll walk beside you, not ahead of you: https://topmate.io/namita_das11.

Subscribe

Recommended Tools to Support Your Child’s Journey Visual Schedules & Routine Charts Establishing a consistent routine can significantly aid children with ADHD in navigating their daily activities. Magnetic Daily Visual Schedule for Kids This customizable magnetic chart allows you to create personalized routines for morning and bedtime, helping children understand and follow daily tasks. LittleOk Large Visual Schedule Board with 43 Cards Featuring 43 distinctive schedule cards that cover various daily activities, aiding children in comprehending and managing their routines effectively. Calm Down Corners & Sensory Kits Creating a designated space with calming tools can help children self-regulate and manage overwhelming emotions. Calm Down Corner Classroom Kit This kit includes breathing posters, sensory toys, and emotion puzzles, providing a comprehensive set of tools for emotional regulation. Livond Calming Sensory Toys (3-Pack Liquid Motion Bubbler Timers) These visually engaging timers can serve as practical tools for calming and focusing, suitable for children with ADHD and anxiety.Emotion Recognition & Expression Aids Tools that help children identify and express their emotions can be instrumental in developing emotional intelligence. Eamay Emotions and Feelings Pocket Chart with 31 Cards This interactive chart assists children in recognizing and communicating their feelings, fostering emotional awareness. Feelings Chart for Kids (18X24 Laminated Poster) A colourful and engaging poster that helps children learn about different emotions, suitable for home or classroom settings.

Integrating these tools into your child’s daily routine can complement the strategies discussed in the blog, providing tangible support in their development journey.

If you need personalized guidance on selecting and implementing these tools effectively, please book a 1:1 consultation here: https://topmate.io/namita_das11.

Practical Strategies for Parents: Helping Your Child Thrive with ADHD

When my son was younger, getting ready for school was a battlefield. The morning routine felt like an endless loop of reminders: “Brush your teeth, put on your shoes, pack your bag…” Only to find him halfway through something else, totally forgetting what we were doing in the first place.

And the real kicker? When the timer beeped, and it was time to go — panic mode kicked in. He wasn’t ready. We’d end up in a flurry of frustration, running late and feeling like we were always playing catch-up. At that point, I didn’t know how to avoid the daily chaos that felt like a constant hurdle.

But today? Our mornings are smoother, and that struggle is behind us. The routine is more manageable, and my son has progressed much. It wasn’t magic — small, intentional changes aligned with his unique needs.

If you’re a parent to a child with ADHD, I know you’ve probably felt the same way. It can feel like you’re constantly battling distractions, emotional highs, and a lack of focus. But there’s good news: With a few practical strategies, you can turn these challenges into manageable tasks that make your child feel successful.

Let me share a few tips that have helped us along the way — strategies grounded in understanding how your child’s brain works without focusing on “fixing” them.

1.    Break Tasks Down Into Small, Clear Steps

One of the most helpful things I’ve learned is that kids with ADHD don’t always process big instructions similarly. Telling my son to “get ready for school” was overwhelming for him. What does “get ready” mean to a brain bouncing between a hundred thoughts?

Now, we focus on one small step at a time. First: “Put on your socks.” When that’s done, we move to the next step. Breaking things down into small chunks reduces the pressure. It allows him to check things off — creating a sense of accomplishment that encourages him to move forward.

Quick Tip:

Use visual schedules or checklists to remind your child of each small task. They help clarify the process and give them a sense of control and direction. It’s about setting them up for success, step by step.

2.    Create a Calming Routine for Focused Tasks

Does your child struggle with sitting still to finish homework or do chores? I used to find my son spinning in his chair, playing with his pencil, or getting distracted by the slightest sound. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to focus — his brain just needed a different kind of support to centre on the task at hand.

We started incorporating small, calming routines before focused activities like homework. These could be a quick 5-minute stretch, deep breaths, or even a quick walk around the house. These little movement moments help reset his focus and prepare him for the task.

Quick Tip:

Before a homework session, let your child move around. It could be a silly dance, jumping jacks, or just running in place for 30 seconds. The key is to release energy before sitting down to focus.

3.    Celebrate Effort, Not Perfection

In the past, I would praise my son whenever he finished something. Still, over time, I realised it was more important to celebrate the process — the effort he put in, even if the result wasn’t “perfect.” ADHD often comes with challenges like impulse control and emotional regulation, so when my son stayed on task for just 10 minutes, that was worth celebrating!

By focusing on effort instead of perfection, I encouraged him to see the value of persistence and resilience. And, in turn, his motivation grew.

Quick Tip:

Instead of simply saying, “Good job,” get specific. “I love how you kept working even when it got tough!” This kind of praise reinforces the process of trying rather than the result itself, which helps build emotional resilience.

4.    Use Natural Consequences to Build Responsibility

In the early days, I would constantly remind my son about tasks or give him incentives to get things done. But over time, I shifted to using natural consequences — letting him experience the results of his actions (or lack of actions) rather than constantly being the one to remind him.

For example, if he forgot to pack his school bag, he’d be the one to deal with missing something important. The natural consequence was that he didn’t want to fail again, which helped him internalise responsibility for his actions.

Quick Tip:

Let your child experience the natural consequences of their actions, as long as it’s safe. If they forget their lunch, they might have to go without it — and next time, they’ll remember!

5.    Build in Playful Breaks and Fidget Opportunities

One of the most significant gifts I could give my son was permission to fidget and move during tasks. He doesn’t need to sit completely still to focus — and that’s okay. Instead, we introduced fun tools like stress balls, fidget spinners, or doodling while listening to instructions.

Building in-play breaks also helps reset his energy. After 15-20 minutes of focused work, we take a short break for jumping jacks, a quick game, or just some time to do something fun.

Quick Tip:

Fidgeting isn’t a sign of being distracted — for many kids with ADHD, it helps them focus. Let your child experiment with different tools that help them stay grounded while they work.

Final Thoughts: Embrace the Journey, Celebrate the Wins

Parenting a child with ADHD isn’t always easy, but it’s gratifying. By understanding their unique needs and adjusting our approach, we can create an environment where they can shine. Small shifts in how we approach everyday tasks can lead to bigger improvements in their focus, emotional regulation, and overall well-being.

And, remember: It’s not about getting everything “right” every time — it’s about finding what works for you and your child and celebrating the small victories along the way.

If you’re stuck or need personalised support, I’m here to help you navigate this journey more confidently and efficiently. Click here to book a 1:1 consultation with me, and together, we can create a tailored plan that works for your child.

If these strategies helped you see ADHD through a new lens, comment below and share your experience! What’s one strategy that’s worked for your child? Let’s keep this conversation going and help each other out.

And if you want more support, book a 1:1 consultation with me here: https://topmate.io/namita_das11.

Subscribe

Recommended Tools to Support Your Child’s ADHD Journey

To assist you in implementing the strategies we’ve discussed, here are some thoughtfully selected products. These tools can help your child with time management, focus, and emotional regulation in a fun and engaging way.

Visual Timers: Making Time Tangible

Visual timers are excellent for helping children with ADHD understand the passage of time, making transitions smoother and tasks more manageable.

Lemon Littles Visual Timer for Kids: A 60-minute silent countdown timer featuring animal designs, ideal for classrooms and home use. Its visual representation aids in time management for children with ADHD. TWENTY5 SEVEN Visual Timer with Protective Case A durable 60-minute countdown timer with a protective case suitable for various settings, including classrooms and home offices.Fidget Toys: Enhancing Focus and Reducing Anxiety

Fidget toys can help children with ADHD channel their energy, reduce anxiety, and improve concentration during tasks.

UOOEFUN 12-Sided Fidget Cube A compact and colourful fidget cube offering multiple tactile features to keep hands busy and minds focused.Cubelelo Drift Infinity Cube: A sleek, portable infinity cube designed to relieve stress and anxiety, enhancing focus and concentration.Stress Relief Toys: Calming the Mind

Stress relief toys can provide a sensory outlet, helping children manage overwhelming emotions and maintain emotional balance.

PELO Stress Relief Toys for Kids and Adults: A set of soft rubber toys designed to comfort anxious minds and calm nerves, suitable for kids and adults. Confidence Stress Reliever Soft Squishy Toys Multicolor squishy toys are stress busters, promoting relaxation and focus.

These products are designed to support the strategies we’ve discussed, helping your child thrive in their ADHD journey. Remember, consistency and patience are key. Feel free to reach out if you need personalised guidance or have questions about implementing these tools.

Building College-Ready Kids: The Essential Skills (Beyond Grades and Packing Lists)

“We thought we had packed everything. Turns out, we missed the most important things.”

I’ll never forget the phone call. 

My friend’s son had just started college. 

The dorm room was all set up — sheets, kettle, fairy lights, the works. 

But barely two weeks later, the excitement crumbled into daily anxiety.

He wasn’t struggling with classes. 

He was struggling with life.

How to talk to a roommate about boundaries without freaking out. 

How to plan meals and manage medications without reminders. 

How to ask a professor for help without freezing in fear. 

No one had told them that college readiness isn’t just about grades, gadgets, or how to do laundry. 

It’s about emotional flexibility, decision-making, self-advocacy, and problem-solving.

And for neurodiverse kids? 

These invisible skills are often the hardest — but also the most important.

The Hidden Gap in College Readiness

When we think “college prep,” we often think: 

SATs. Application essays. Dorm shopping lists.

But for kids — especially those with ADHD, Autism, Anxiety, or any learning differences — the real challenges are not academic. 

They’re emotional, organizational, and social.

How do I manage when I feel overwhelmed but no one notices? 

What do I do when a small change (like a cancelled class) throws off my whole day? 

How do I live away from my safety nets without feeling lost?

These skills decide whether a teen thrives in college or merely survives.

The Real College Readiness Checklist

Before they step onto campus, can your child:

Break an enormous task (like writing a paper) into small, manageable steps? 

Stick to a daily routine without needing multiple reminders? 

Self-advocate — tell someone when they need help, clarification, or space? 

Handle moments of disappointment, loneliness, or frustration calmly? 

Manage their basic needs — meals, hygiene, appointments — without supervision? 

Find simple coping strategies for stress (besides just scrolling TikTok)? 

If these sound tough — you’re not alone. 

Most teens (and even many adults) aren’t taught these skills explicitly.

But the good news? 

We can start building them now, one small step at a time.

How You Can Start Building College-Ready Skills Today

The “What’s Next?” Game 

Throughout the day, casually ask, 

_“What’s next for you after this?”_ 

This builds future thinking, planning, and flexible transitions.

Emotion Labeling Practice 

At dinner or in the car, invite them to name one feeling they had during the day and why. 

(“I felt stressed when I couldn’t find my homework.”) 

This strengthens emotional awareness and communication.

Weekly Independent Challenge 

Pick one task each week they manage 100% alone — booking an appointment, cooking a simple meal, setting a schedule. 

Celebrate success, but let mistakes be safe learning opportunities.

Simple Coping Cards 

Together, create a mini card with 3 steps for when they feel overwhelmed: 

Take 3 slow breaths Get a glass of water Text a support buddy or parent 

Portable emotional safety nets build confidence.

Final Thoughts: Packing the Real Essentials

As parents and educators, it’s easy to focus on tangible things — the bedding, the books, the laptops. 

But real college readiness is about what’s happening inside our kids.

Let’s not just send them off with suitcases. 

Let’s send them off with skills — for self-regulation, self-advocacy, and self-trust.

Because no matter how far they go, those are the tools that will always bring them home to themselves.

Need help building these skills with your child? 

I offer personalized 1:1 consultations to create a simple, strengths-based readiness plan. 

Book your session here https://topmate.io/namita_das11.

Let’s raise confident, college-ready kids — together.

Subscribe

Recommended Resources to Build College-Ready Skills TINYCHANGE Student Planner An undated 12-month planner designed for students, featuring academic planning tools, 52 reference learning resources, and 400 golden stickers to make planning engaging. Why it helps: Encourages routine building, task management, and visual organization—key skills for independent living.The College Bound Planner: A Roadmap to Take You from High School to College This comprehensive guide provides step-by-step advice from freshman through senior year, empowering students to take control of their academic futures. Why it helps: Offers structured guidance to navigate the college preparation journey, enhancing decision-making and planning skills.101 Things College Students Should Know: A practical book covering various aspects of college life, including academic success, campus life, and financial management techniques. Why it helps: It provides insights into managing daily college challenges and fostering self-advocacy and problem-solving abilities.The Mindful College Student: Essential Skills to Help You Succeed Based on the Mindfulness-Based College program at Brown University, this book offers skills to increase academic success and boost overall well-being. Why it helps: It enhances emotional regulation and resilience, which are crucial for adapting to new environments and stressors.Life Skills for College: A Practical Guide to Adulting for Teens and Young Adults This guide covers essential life skills, sharing real-life experiences to help teens navigate adult responsibilities confidently. Why it helps: Build independence by teaching practical skills like time management, communication, and self-care.

These resources are valuable tools to support your teen’s journey toward college readiness. If you need personalized guidance or have specific concerns, please book a 1:1 consultation with me here: https://topmate.io/namita_das11.

Let’s work together to equip your child with the skills they need to thrive in college and beyond!

The Self-Accommodations That Helped My Child Get Through School

It wasn’t just about what he could learn — it was about creating the right environment for him to learn in the first place.

I remember a moment from my son’s early school years. He’d come home from school, his backpack flung across the room, and I could see the frustration in his eyes. “Mom, I tried so hard today. I just couldn’t focus.”

I wasn’t surprised. Over the years, I’d seen the struggle — the inability to sit still, the pressure to keep up with classmates, the feeling of being “different” in a world that expected everyone to learn the same way. And while I watched my son pour his heart into school, it was clear that the system didn’t quite understand his needs.

At first, I thought, “Maybe it’s just a phase.” Maybe he’d grow out of it. But as time passed, I realized something critical: the problem wasn’t him — the problem was how his unique brain processed the world around him. The school environment, lessons, and structure were not built to meet his needs. So, waiting for the system to catch up wasn’t enough. We had to make it work for him.

That’s when I started experimenting with self-accommodations — small, intentional changes that allowed him to create a learning environment that suited his brain. And you know what? It made all the difference.

What Are Self-Accommodations?

Self-accommodations are personalized strategies that help children adjust to their learning environment. These aren’t big, official changes like a special education plan or classroom alterations (though those are important, too). Instead, they’re little tools and tricks children can use to navigate school with more confidence and less stress.

The beauty of self-accommodation is that it encourages independence. They help children become aware of what they need to thrive and empower them to advocate for themselves, even if they don’t fully understand all the reasons behind their struggles. In my son’s case, they allowed him to function in a system that wasn’t built for him without feeling “broken” or “deficient.”

How We Made It Work

We started small — with simple, unobtrusive, and flexible strategies. Here’s a glimpse of the self-accommodations we found helpful:

Noise-Canceling Headphones

For my son, noise was a massive trigger for distractions. Whether it was the hum of classroom chatter or the sound of pencils on paper, it all became overwhelming. Investing in a good pair of noise-cancelling headphones was a game changer. It allowed him to block out distractions and focus more easily on the task. He started using them during independent work or when the classroom was particularly loud.

Fidget Tools

F fidgeting doesn’t mean a child isn’t paying attention — it just means they’re using movement to regulate their focus. We found that small, silent fidget tools worked wonders. A stress ball in his pocket, a fidget spinner in his desk drawer, or even a soft piece of cloth to hold onto helped him calm his nervous energy while staying focused. These little actions made a huge difference in his ability to remain engaged.

Visual Timers

Time management is strict when you have a mind that is constantly moving. My son often got lost in tasks and had trouble shifting from one activity to another. So, we used visual timers that displayed a clear countdown so he could visually track how much time he had left for an activity. This simple tool helped him feel more in control and reduced the anxiety of transitions.

Movement Breaks

Sitting still for long periods wasn’t conducive to my son’s learning style. Instead of forcing him to stay glued to his desk, we implemented short movement breaks. Whether it was a quick walk to the bathroom, a trip around the schoolyard, or even a few minutes of stretching at his desk, these breaks helped him reset and return to tasks with renewed focus.

Highlighted Paper

Small details like reading on unlined paper or having too much text on a page can become overwhelming for a child who struggles with focus. We used highlighted paper with lines to help guide handwriting and colour-coded worksheets to break up information. This helped him stay organized, improve his writing skills, and feel more confident completing assignments.

Why Self-Accommodations Work

Children need to understand themselves and their unique needs to thrive. Self-accommodations allow them to build self-awareness and develop coping skills they can carry throughout their lives.

Instead of waiting for the classroom to adapt, self-accommodations encourage children to take control of their learning. They boost confidence, promote independence, and give children a sense of mastery over their environment.

Practical Tips for Parents and Teachers

You don’t need to wait for a formal diagnosis or a perfect school environment to get started. Here are some simple ways to introduce self-accommodations into your child’s daily routine:

Create a “Toolkit”

Sit down with your child and discuss what helps them when frustrated or distracted. Together, create a “toolkit” of self-accommodations they can carry. It could include items like a favourite fidget toy, a timer, or even a card that says, “Take a break” when they feel overwhelmed.

Incorporate Movement

Movement is essential for regulating energy and maintaining focus. Whether short breaks, a walk between classes, or a quick dance session at home, incorporate physical movement into their day.

Use Visual Cues

Children respond well to visual cues, so use charts, timers, or written reminders to help them stay on track. These cues provide guidance and structure, whether a visual schedule or a reminder to take a deep breath before responding to frustration.

Normalize the Need for Accommodations

It’s essential for children to feel that their self-accommodations are a regular part of learning, not something they should hide. Encourage your child to advocate for themselves by practising what accommodations they may need. The more they use their tools, the more confident they’ll become in managing their learning environment.

Let’s Empower Our Kids Together

Every child has a unique brain, and every brain needs different tools to succeed. Self-accommodation is a way for kids to personalize their learning experience. They can be a turning point for children who might otherwise feel they don’t belong in the traditional school system.

Remember: It’s not about changing your child — it’s about creating a world that works for them.

If you’re looking for personalized guidance on how to make these strategies work for your child, I’m here to help. Whether it’s understanding specific accommodations, helping your child with self-regulation, or navigating challenges at school, I can support you every step of the way.

Ready to explore more?

Book a 1:1 consultation with me here.

Together, we can create a learning environment that lets your child shine!

Recommended Tools to Support Your Child’s Learning Journey

To help implement the self-accommodations we’ve discussed, here are some thoughtfully selected products that can make a meaningful difference:

Noise-Cancelling Headphones These headphones are designed to reduce ambient noise, helping children focus better in noisy environments. PROHEAR 010 Kids Bluetooth Active Noise Cancelling Headphones Features active noise cancellation technology, comfortable padding, and a foldable design for easy storage. Vikki Baby Ear Protection Noise Cancelling Headphones offer zero-pressure noise reduction with a soft padded design suitable for younger children. Fidget Tools can help children manage anxiety and maintain focus by providing sensory stimulation.Skillmatics Push & Pop Mobile Phone Fidget Toy: A portable sensory toy made of food-grade silicone, ideal for on-the-go calming.TwCare 120 Pack Fidget Toys Set: A comprehensive set offering a variety of textures and activities to engage children. Visual Timers assist children in understanding the passage of time, aiding in transitions and time management. Sonneten 99-Minute Digital Visual Timer Features a child-friendly interface with a smiley face and visual progress bars. TIME TIMER Home MOD – 60 Minute Visual Timer A silent, easy-to-read timer suitable for classroom or home use. Movement Break Tools Incorporating movement breaks can help children release pent-up energy and improve focus. Covelico Movement Dice : A fun tool that encourages physical activity through random exercises and is perfect for indoor breaks. Classroom Fitness Breaks Book Offers over 50 exercises and games to motivate students and help them focus. Highlighted Paper Using highlighted or coloured paper can assist children with reading and writing difficulties by providing visual cues. 32 Pieces Guided Reading Strips/Colored Overlay Assorted colors help with dyslexia and reading fluency. Kidox Markers Durable Multi Design Line Outline Border Highlighter Pens Ideal for colouring, sketching, and enhancing reading materials.

Feel free to explore these products to find the ones that best suit your child’s needs. Implementing these tools can create a more supportive and effective learning environment at home and school.

Rewriting How Children See Disability: A Guide for Conscious Parenting

“Why does that boy talk funny?”

It wasn’t asked with malice.

There was no judgment in my son’s voice — just honest curiosity as he watched a child at the supermarket who communicated through gestures and sounds.

I paused.

Not because I didn’t have an answer.

But because I suddenly realized how many adults fumble in moments like this.

We hush. We redirect. We whisper, “Don’t say that.”

And in doing so — we teach shame.

It’s not about the child being different… but not talking about it.

The Real Problem Isn’t Disability. It’s Discomfort.

We live in a world where disability is either pitied, silenced, or overly celebrated — as though people with disabilities exist only to “inspire” us.

But kids don’t need sugar-coated stories or glorified struggles.

They need truth, tools, and talking points.

They need to know that:

A child who uses a wheelchair can race hearts faster than legs can.A classmate who flaps hands when excited is showing joy, not strangeness.A kid who speaks through a device still has a lot to say.So, Where Do We Begin?

As parents, teachers, and caregivers, we are the mirror through which children learn to see others — and themselves. If we flinch, they flinch. If we lean in, so will they.

Here’s how you can start shifting the narrative — without ever needing to use big, technical terms.

Normalize Questions. Don’t Shut Them Down.

When kids ask, “Why can’t she talk?” — don’t hush them.

Say: “That’s a great question! She talks with her hands or device instead of her mouth. Isn’t it cool how many ways there are to communicate?”

The moment becomes a learning bridge — not a roadblock.

Play the “Strength Spotting” Game

Create a list of visible and invisible differences — like needing extra time to finish tasks, using hearing aids, or having a helper in class.

Then, for each one, ask your child:

“What strength might this person have because of this difference?”

Example:

“He doesn’t talk much.”

“Maybe he listens really well!”

This activity rewires perception:

From pity to potential. From “less than” to differently awesome.

Make Your Bookshelf Work for You

Choose stories where neurodiverse and disabled characters exist without always needing to be “fixed” or “exceptional.”

Representation matters. But realistic representation issues more.

(As a children’s author, I will happily build a library on this hill.)

Model Inclusive Language and Curiosity

Use language that celebrates identity.

Say “child with Down syndrome” or “a child who learns differently” instead of “suffers from…”

Let your child hear you speak about people with respect and interest — not hesitation.

Create a “Difference is Normal” Jar

Each week, add one note with a new difference to explore. Make it fun!

Add a strength. Add a scenario. Act it out with puppets or during bedtime chats.

Soon, “differences” won’t feel so *different* at all.

Final Thoughts

Disability doesn’t need to be hidden, feared, or misunderstood.

It needs to be seen, named, and respected.

Your child’s view of the world is still being built.

Let’s ensure their foundation includes empathy, awareness, and celebration of every kind of brain and body.

Because when we teach our kids that everyone belongs, we don’t just build more inclusive classrooms —

We build a better world.

Let’s keep this conversation going:

How do YOU talk to your child about differences?

Drop your thoughts in the comments

Or if you’re feeling stuck, let’s talk 1:1 — I’d love to support you.

Book a session here

Subscribe

Recommended Resources to Foster Inclusion and Understanding

To further support your child’s journey towards empathy and inclusivity, consider incorporating the following books and sensory tools into their learning environment:

Inclusive Children’s Books“Included: A Book for All Children About Inclusion, Diversity, Disability, Equality and Empathy” by Camila Carrossine“The ABCs of Inclusion: A Disability Inclusion Book for Kids” by Beth Leipholtz“Roxy the Raccoon: A Story to Help Children Learn About Disability and Inclusion” by Alice Reeves Sensory and Educational ToolsQI XING Sensory Mats for Autistic ChildrenGodsOwnChild Weighted Calming Stuffed Toy (Panda)Rainbow Push Pop It Bubble Fidget Sensory ToyCBTime Therapy Games for Kids: Playing CBT Board Game

Integrating these resources can create a more inclusive and understanding environment for your child. If you need personalized guidance on selecting the right tools or strategies for your child’s unique needs, please book a 1:1 consultation with us here: https://topmate.io/namita_das11.

Let’s work together to build a world where every child feels seen, heard, and valued.