Namita Das's Blog, page 10

Book Review of Don’t Let Her Stay by Nicola Sanders

As someone deeply tuned into emotional undercurrents and behavioural red flags, Don’t Let Her Stay was a chilling, thrilling ride that hooked me and questioned everyone until the very last line.

From the opening pages, Nicola Sanders crafts an unsettling atmosphere that even as a reader, you’re unsure whether to trust your instincts. The protagonist, Joanne, welcomes her husband Richard’s daughter, Chloe, into their remote countryside home. But things go downhill fast. And I don’t just mean household tension—I’m talking psychological warfare, manipulation, and a gnawing uncertainty about what’s real and what’s imagined.

As someone who studies behaviour and often works with families struggling to trust their perceptions, I found Joanne’s descent into self-doubt chillingly relatable. The gaslighting, the blurred lines between truth and delusion, and the sheer unpredictability of Chloe’s behaviour all mirror the psychological patterns I’ve seen in toxic dynamics—whether in counselling or in families trying to manage change.

Highlights:

Unpredictable & Unputdownable: I started this book one evening and found myself sneaking in chapters during tea, between client sessions, and even while waiting for my son’s dance session to end. The suspense was expertly maintained, and the twists kept me guessing.Character-driven tension: The beauty of this book is in its tightly woven cast. There are very few characters, but each one is so sharply etched that you feel every shift in loyalty, every stab of doubt.Relatable Psychological Themes: I appreciated how the story plays with perception, trauma, and emotional isolation. It also taps into a very real maternal fear—of someone threatening your home, your sanity, your child, and your safety.

What didn’t quite land:

There were moments where the plot became a tad repetitive, especially in the middle. As someone trained to notice behavioural cycles, I started anticipating Chloe’s actions—yet the final twist still shocked me. I had suspicions, but Nicola Sanders still managed to deliver a finale that made me say out loud, “Wait, what?!”

As a parent of a neurodiverse child:

I couldn’t help but view the story through that lens. The portrayal of emotional manipulation and trauma made me reflect on how crucial it is to teach children emotional literacy, how to name feelings, set boundaries, and recognize when something feels wrong, even if it looks right on the outside. It also reminded me how often women—mothers, stepmothers, caregivers—are gaslighted or dismissed when they sense something is off.

Verdict:

Don’t Let Her Stay is worthwhile if you enjoy psychological thrillers with unreliable narrators, emotionally loaded scenes, and gasp-worthy twists. It’s not just a page-turner; it’s a psychological puzzle that’ll have you questioning everyone—including yourself.

Creating Your Child’s Perfect Study Soundtrack: How Dance & Music Boost Focus

“Okay, study time!”

And just like that—crickets. Or resistance. Or worse, a complete meltdown.

Sound familiar?

I’ve seen both ends of this spectrum. There are days when homework flows like warm cocoa. And then there are days when just mentioning a worksheet makes the air tense.

But something has shifted in our house recently. And no, it wasn’t a new app, expensive program, or sticker chart.

It was… a concert.

Let me explain.

The Day Focus Walked In Wearing a Cape (and Dancing to PJ Masks)

Every evening, before we settle down for homework, my son transforms our living room into a stage. He cues up his favourite Jack Hartmann or PJ Masks song, grabs a pretend mic, and turns into a performer. He sings, dances, and shimmies—sometimes making us (his loyal audience) dance along. No homework is touched until the “show” is done.

At first, I saw it as a delay tactic. A charming one, but still—just another way to stall.

But then I noticed something important.

When the performance ended, he walked to his desk and got to work—focused, calm, and enthusiastic.

There were no tears. No fidgety tantrums. Just flow.

What Was Really Happening?

That “concert” wasn’t just cute.

It was:

Releasing pent-up energy.Activating his body in ways that prepared his brain.Giving him control over transitions.Creating a consistent, safe ritual before the task.

It was his way of regulating emotions, shifting gears, and grounding himself.

Once I realized that, I stopped rushing him past it and started building around it.

Turning Music into a Study Ritual

Instead of viewing music and movement as distractions, I started seeing them as a launchpad.

We created a simple rhythm:

Dance Party – One song of his choice. Full performance allowed.Hydrate & Reset – A glass of water and a quick check-in (“How are you feeling?”).Focus Time – A 15-20 minute work session, with a soft instrumental playlist in the background if needed.Mini Celebration – A quick high-five or silly dance move after each task.

Now, he knows what’s coming. He anticipates the order. And best of all, he owns the routine.

Want to Try This? Here’s How to Build Your Child’s Study Soundtrack

Every child’s rhythm is unique, but here’s a guide to get started:

Step 1: Choose the Mood Shifter

Let your child pick a song or two that makes them happy or powerful. Play this right before study time as their “power-up.”

Step 2: Create a Ritual

Make the music part of a sequence. For example:

Dance → Drink water → Sit with timer → Study for one song’s length.

Step 3: Use Music as a Timer

Instead of watching the clock, use a song as a gentle, auditory cue.

One song = one worksheet or one reading activity.

Step 4: Don’t Skip the Celebration

Even a little fist bump or silly sound effect can mark the end of a study burst and make it fun.

Soundtrack, Not Structure

The goal isn’t to turn your home into a boot camp. It’s to tap into your child’s natural energy and rhythm to build focus, not fight it.

Your child doesn’t need to sit still to start learning.

Sometimes, the best kind of focus starts with a dance break.

What’s your child’s favourite “power-up” song? Share it in the comments—I always look for new tracks to add to our playlist!

Need help building a personalized study routine or managing transitions at home?

Click here to book a 1:1 consultation with me: https://topmate.io/namita_das11

Let’s find your child’s rhythm—together.

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Recommended Tools & Resources

To help you build your child’s personalized study soundtrack and focus routine, here are some thoughtfully selected tools and resources:

Visual Timers for Focused Study Sessions

Visual timers can assist children in understanding the concept of time and managing tasks effectively:

Yunbaoit 60-Minute Visual Timer : Designed for children with ADHD, this timer features a silent operation and a clear visual countdown, making it ideal for home or classroom settings. Secura 60-Minute Visual Timer : With a novel rainbow design, this timer captures children’s attention and helps them complete tasks on time without loud ticking sounds. Sonneten 99-Minute Digital Visual Timer : Featuring a cute smiley face and visual time progress bars, this timer makes time management engaging and fun for kids.Music Resources to Enhance Study Routines

Incorporating music into study routines can create a calming environment and improve concentration:

Zenimal Kids Meditation and Soothing Sounds Audio Player : A screen-free device that promotes mindfulness with 9 audio meditations and 60 minutes of relaxing music, including ocean waves and white noise. Deep Sleep Music on Amazon Prime Music : A collection of calming tracks like “Tibetan Monk” and “Water and Earth” by Brain Study Music Guys, perfect for creating a serene study atmosphere.Educational Books to Foster Musical Interest

Encouraging a love for music can be beneficial for children’s overall development:

Help Your Kids with Music (Ages 10-16) : An inspirational guide that helps children understand and appreciate music through clear, accessible pictures and diagrams. The Complete Series of Little Music Lessons for Kids : Lessons with unforgettable stories and a DIY game from a funny musical puppy, making learning music fun and engaging.

We’d love to hear from you!

What tools or resources have you found helpful in creating a study routine for your child? Share your experiences in the comments below.

Need personalized support?

If you’re looking for tailored strategies to help your child focus and thrive, book a 1:1 consultation with us: https://topmate.io/namita_das11.

We can create a harmonious study routine that resonates with your child’s unique rhythm.

Why Do Kids Have Meltdowns? It’s Not What You Think! (Watch Now)

As parents, educators, and caregivers, we’ve all been there—witnessing a child burst into tears, scream, hit, or shut down in a way that feels sudden and confusing. Our first instinct might be to label it a tantrum or “bad behavior.” But what if I told you there’s almost always a reason behind these moments?

In my latest YouTube video, “Why Do Kids Have Meltdowns? – Understanding Triggers,” I explore the real causes of meltdowns in neurodiverse and sensitive children—and how we can respond with empathy, clarity, and effective strategies.

Watch the video here:

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

The difference between a tantrum and a meltdown
Common triggers — sensory overload, transitions, communication struggles, and emotional build-up
How to observe early signs before the meltdown erupts
Simple strategies to reduce and prevent meltdowns
Free Downloadable Tool: Meltdown Trigger Toolkit with real-life checklists and observation sheets!

Real-Life Stories and Practical Role-Plays

In this episode, I’ve included examples from classrooms and homes, showing how children react to overwhelming situations—and how adults can better support them. We even walk through role-plays to give you practical ways to respond in real-time. This isn’t theory. It’s what works.

Why This Matters

Children don’t “act out” for no reason. Meltdowns are not manipulation—they are communication. Whether you’re a shadow teacher, parent, or therapist, knowing the why behind a child’s behavior changes everything.

Understanding is the first step to empathy.
Empathy is the first step to connection.
And connection is the first step to progress.

Watch the Full Episode

Click here to watch the full episode on YouTube
Let’s learn together how to make our environments safer, calmer, and more supportive for the children who need us most.

Download Your FREE Meltdown Trigger Toolkit

Created especially for this episode – includes:
Printable Trigger Checklist
ABC Observation Sheet
Sensory Triggers Cheat Sheet
Self-Regulation Visual Support Tools

Meltdown_Trigger_ToolkitDownload

Let’s raise children who feel seen, heard, and safe.
And let’s grow into the kind of adults they can count on.

“He Only Eats Toast”: A Gentle Guide to Supporting Nutrition in Neurodiverse Kids

My son, Kuku, would only eat plain toast, dry pasta, and bananas.

No spices, no sauces, and absolutely no vegetables. Even a hint of colour on his plate could spark a meltdown. One evening, I remember placing a tiny sliver of carrot beside his toast—thinking maybe he’d try it if it was small enough.

He didn’t.

He screamed, shoved the plate away, and cried like I had betrayed him.

And honestly? I cried, too.

Not in front of him. In the kitchen. Silently. Questioning every ounce of my training, my parenting, my patience.

When Nutrition Isn’t Just About Food

It took me a while to understand that this wasn’t about being a “picky eater.”

It was about safety, control, and how overwhelming the world felt to a child who experiences everything more intensely—sounds, textures, colours, smells.

Most of the advice out there—“Offer more variety!” “Sneak veggies into pasta!”—completely misses this point.

Because for kids like mine (and maybe yours too), nutrition isn’t about the nutrients alone.

It’s about how food feels, looks, smells, and the entire experience.

The Hidden Struggles No One Talks About

Here’s what I wish more people understood:

Some kids aren’t just fussy. They may be sensory avoidant—certain textures might feel painful or distressing.Others might have a rigid thinking pattern where change feels threatening.Some kids can’t tell when they’re hungry or full. Their internal cues are muted or confusing.And many more have faced shame or pressure around food, which only makes mealtimes a minefield.

So what do we do?

We shift the goal—from “get them to eat more” to “help them feel safe, seen, and in control.”

What Helped Us: Connection First, Nutrition Follows

I stopped trying to hide spinach and started inviting Kuku into the food store.

We created playful routines. No pressure. No tricks. Just trust.

Here’s what changed our mealtimes:

Food Play, Not Food Pressure

Instead of “try this,” we started with “Let’s touch it. Let’s squish it. Let’s build a broccoli forest.”

The Rainbow Plate Challenge

Kuku picked 3 colors. I chose matching foods.

He didn’t have to eat them—just explore them. Sniff, poke, maybe lick.

Character Mealtimes

One evening, the bell pepper became a superhero.

Another day, mashed sweet potato was alien goo.

Play disarmed the anxiety.

Power of Choice

Do you want it on the blue plate or the yellow? Spoon or fingers?

Letting him lead made all the difference.

Celebrating the Smallest Wins

He licked a tomato slice? Celebration dance.

He let a carrot stay on his plate? High five.

These may seem like baby steps. But for neurodiverse kids, they’re milestones.

Try This: The Weekly Rainbow Plate Challenge

Here’s an activity you can start today:

Step 1: Ask your child to pick 2-3 colors they love

Step 2: Find food that matches each colour

Step 3: Place them on a plate with no expectation to eat—just explore

Step 4: Use a sticker or stamp to reward their “Explorer Badge”

Step 5: Repeat weekly with new colours or foods

Keep it fun. Keep it pressure-free. Keep celebrating every effort.

A Gentle Reminder Before You Go

If your child only eats toast right now, that’s okay.

Don’t let Instagram lunchboxes fool you into panic.

Progress isn’t measured in meals—it’s measured in moments.

Moments of curiosity. Moments of safety. Moments of “Maybe I’ll try this next time.”

Nutrition begins with connection.

And you, dear parent or educator reading this—you’re doing more than enough by showing up and trying again.

If you’re navigating mealtime meltdowns or wondering how to support your neurodiverse child’s eating journey, I’d love to help.

Click here to book a 1:1 consult with me: https://topmate.io/namita_das11

Let’s make food feel safe, silly, and slowly nutritious.

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Recommended Free Online Courses Diploma in Childcare and Nutrition This comprehensive course delves into childcare fundamentals, emphasising nutrition’s pivotal role in childhood development. It also addresses caring for children with special needs and safeguarding practices. Pediatric Nutrition: Assessment and Administration Gain insights into evaluating and providing pediatric nutrition tailored to children’s needs. This course covers nutritional assessments and strategies to ensure optimal growth and health. Human Health – Diet and Nutrition Explore the relationship between diet and overall health. This course offers guidance on making informed food choices and understanding the impact of nutrition on the human body. Introduction to Human Nutrition This course provides a foundational understanding of human nutrition, covering essential nutrients, dietary requirements, and the role of nutrition in preventing diet-related illnesses. Child Development: Childhood Obesity Understand the factors contributing to childhood obesity and learn strategies to promote healthy dietary and lifestyle habits in children.

These courses empower parents, caregivers, and educators with knowledge and practical strategies to effectively support children’s nutritional needs.

Feel free to reach out if you seek personalised guidance or have concerns about your child’s nutrition journey.

Book a 1:1 consultation with me here.

Together, we can create a nurturing and enjoyable food experience for your child.

Your New Chapter Begins Here: Life After the Diagnosis

“Is he going to be okay?”

I asked the doctor.

I remember gripping the edge of my chair, holding back tears while my son Kuku — oblivious, curious, bright-eyed — tugged at my dupatta, trying to show me a sticker on the wall.

The words “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder” still hung in the air, heavy and echoing.

My brain was spinning — therapies, school, future, finances, family, fear.

I didn’t realise then that the real journey doesn’t start with the diagnosis.

It begins after it.

The Part No One Prepares You For

You walk out of the clinic with a file full of reports, a heart full of questions, and zero clarity on what to do next.

Google becomes your frenemy.

WhatsApp groups become your rabbit hole.

You start counting meltdowns, milestones, and missed cues.

Some family members shrug it off — “He’ll grow out of it.”

Others panic — “You need to fix this now.”

But here’s what I wish someone had told me loud and clear:

You don’t need to fix your child. You need to understand them.

The diagnosis didn’t change my child.

It changed how I chose to see him.

Pause. Breathe. Grieve (Yes, It’s Okay)

Most parents are too scared to admit this out loud — but I’ll say it for you:

It’s okay to feel sad. Or angry. Or overwhelmed.

You’re not grieving your child. You’re grieving the story you had planned in your head.

And that’s natural.

A new story begins to be written— just as beautiful, maybe even more.

So… What Do You Do Next?

Let me break it down for you — simple, small, doable.

These are not textbook solutions. These are from my living room floor, school corridors, bedtime journals, and therapy waiting rooms:

1.    Create a Safe Routine, Not a Perfect One

Children — especially neurodiverse ones — crave predictability.

Start with 3 anchors a day:

Morning rituals (e.g., same breakfast, same music)

Afternoon calm-down time

Night routines (even if it’s just 5 minutes of storytelling)

These help your child feel safe — and safety leads to connection.

2.    Focus on One Skill at a Time

It’s tempting to try everything at once: speech therapy, OT, sensory diets, phonics classes.

But slow down.

Choose one small skill that matters in daily life — asking for help or brushing teeth without tears — and work gently, consistently on that.

Use praise, visual support, and gentle redirection instead of constant correction.

3.    Use Play as Your Superpower

Play is not a waste of time.

It’s the language your child speaks fluently.

Even 10 minutes of floor play daily (where you follow their lead) builds trust, encourages communication, and reduces anxiety.

No agenda. Just connection.

4.    Track the Wins — However, Tiny

Keep a “Victory Jar.”

Every time your child does something brave, different, or new (even if it’s just making eye contact or sitting still for 2 minutes), write it on a slip and drop it in.

On tough days, read them aloud together.

You’ll be surprised how much they’ve grown — even when you weren’t looking.

5.    Don’t Forget You

Your child needs a regulated, present adult.

That means:

Saying NO to toxic adviceTaking 5 quiet minutes for yourself dailyReaching out for help (yes, it’s brave — not weak)

Because when you feel seen, you help your child feel the same.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Behind. You’re Right Where You Need to Be.

There’s no rush. No race. No perfect parent award.

After the diagnosis, what your child needs most is not a super-parent.

They need a safe, curious, consistent one — who shows up, learns with them, and loves loudly.

And if today, showing up just means hugging your child a little longer, that’s enough.

An Activity for This Week: “The Yes List”

Make a list with your child of everything they can do — no matter how small.

Draw it, paint it, act it out — make it fun!

Stick it on the fridge or their room wall.

This becomes a visual reminder of strengths — for both of you.

Need someone to help you map the next steps for your child with confidence and calm?

Book a 1:1 session with me here: https://topmate.io/namita_das11

Let’s talk. Let’s plan. Let’s breathe together.

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Recommended Resources to Support Your Journey

Navigating life after a diagnosis can feel overwhelming, but you’re not alone. Here are some carefully selected, free online courses that can empower you with knowledge and practical strategies:

Understanding ADHD and Child DevelopmentADHD in Child Development: Delve into the symptoms of ADHD in children, explore its impact on parenting, and learn about various treatment approaches.Introduction to ADHD Awareness: Gain insights into ADHD, including its diagnosis, treatment options, and how therapy and medication can assist in managing the condition. Diploma in the Symptoms, Treatment and Management of ADHD This comprehensive course covers the real impact of ADHD on individuals and families, offering strategies for effective management.Deepening Your Understanding of Child PsychologyDiploma in Child Psychology: Explore the developmental stages of childhood, understand various parenting styles, and learn how to support children through each phase. Child Psychology: The Importance of Play Discover the critical role of play in childhood development and how it can be used to cultivate healthy social and mental habits. Child Development: Play Therapy Learn how play therapy can assist preschoolers in improving social skills mental health, and overcoming behavioral challenges.Supporting Children with Developmental DisordersIntroduction to Developmental Disorders: Understand disorders like Autism, Asperger’s, and ADHD, and learn strategies for providing care to children living with these conditions.Understanding Child Development and Disabilities Increase your understanding of child development and learn about additional needs and challenges some children face.

These resources are designed to equip you with the knowledge and tools to support your child’s unique journey. Remember, every small step you take makes a significant difference.

If you need personalised guidance or have specific questions, please book a 1:1 consultation with me here: https://topmate.io/namita_das11.

You’re doing an incredible job, and I’m here to support you every step of the way.

Breaking Friendship Mindset Traps: Raising Kids Who Think Kindly and Act Bravely

“He’s so slow. No one likes him. He doesn’t even run fast.”

That was the casual, matter-of-fact observation my son shared with me one afternoon.

He wasn’t being mean.

He wasn’t even trying to label.

He was just… repeating what he’d heard.

And that’s precisely what made it so powerful—and concerning.

I’ve learned to lean in when kids share these little, offhand comments. Because beneath the surface lies something bigger: a mindset trap. And suppose we don’t address it gently but firmly. In that case, it grows into a belief that guides how they treat others—and eventually, how they see themselves.

The Friendship Mindset Trap: What Is It, Really?

Let’s call it what it is:

A mental shortcut kids take to belong—even if it means leaving someone else out.

It shows up in thoughts like:

“Everyone thinks he’s weird, so I should too.”“If I stand up for that kid, I’ll lose my friends.”“Being different means you can’t be liked.”

These beliefs don’t start in a vacuum. Children observe, absorb, and adapt to the social rules around them—spoken or unspoken. And for neurodiverse kids like mine, who already struggle with social flexibility, the pressure to fit in can make these mindset traps feel even more rigid.

Where Do These Traps Come From?Groupthink: Kids want to belong. If the group says one child is “weird,” they often won’t question it.Fear of exclusion: Challenging the group feels risky, especially if friendships are fragile.Lack of perspective-taking: Many children—especially those with ADHD, autism traits, or social anxiety—are still developing the ability to see others’ viewpoints.Unspoken adult modelling: How do we talk about “different” people? Are we labelling too?What I Did Instead: Turning a Label Into a Lesson

That day, I didn’t give my son a lecture.

We didn’t jump into a worksheet or punishment.

We talked.

I asked:

“What makes someone likeable to you?”“Do you think being slow means someone is less smart or kind?”“What would it feel like if you were the slowest runner in class?”

He paused. He reflected. He even shrugged and said, “I don’t know… I never thought of it like that.”

Exactly. That’s where the work begins.

Rewiring the Mindset (Without Preaching)

We gently explored these ideas through casual role-swaps:

“Imagine if someone said that about you—how would you want your friend to react?”“What could you say if your best friend made fun of someone else?”“Can we notice one thing that boy does well tomorrow?”

These aren’t heavy conversations. They’re light touch, consistent, and anchored in empathy-building. That’s where actual change happens—not overnight, but over time.

Try This at Home: The “Pause, Picture, Pick” Activity

Here’s a simple activity I now recommend to parents and teachers:

Pause: When your child labels someone (“He’s annoying,” “She’s weird”), pause and ask:“What do you mean by that?”This slows down the thought before it becomes belief.Picture: Invite your child to imagine being that child.“How do you think they feel when others talk like that?”Pick: Let them pick a kind action. Just one.“Tomorrow, can you smile at them? Ask them if they need help?”Even small shifts change how children view others—and themselves.Final Thoughts: You Can Be the Interruptor

When we interrupt these mindset traps early, we raise kids who lead with courage instead of conformity. Kids who think for themselves. Kids who include rather than exclude.

And more than anything?

We raise children who know that being kind isn’t something we do after we feel brave.

It’s what makes us brave.

Want support navigating your child’s social world or emotional challenges?

Book a 1:1 consult with me here: https://topmate.io/namita_das11.

Tell me in the comments: Has your child ever repeated something that made you pause and reflect? How did you respond? Let’s learn from each other.

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Recommended Resources to Foster Empathy and Social Skills Things I Can’t See: A Unique Book for Kids on Empathy This engaging picture book helps children understand emotions and feelings by exploring scenarios that encouraging empathy and emotional awareness.You, Me and Empathy: Teaching Children about Empathy, Feelings, Kindness, Compassion, Tolerance, and Recognising Bullying Behaviours: A beautifully illustrated book that introduces children to empathy, teaching them to understand and respect others’ feelings. Empathy Is Your Superpower: A Book about Understanding the Feelings of Others This book empowers children to recognize and practice empathy through relatable scenarios, reinforcing that empathy is a valuable skill. Social Skills Activities for Kids: 50 Fun Exercises for Making Friends, Talking and Listening, and Understanding Social Rules A practical guide filled with interactive activities designed to help children develop essential social skills in a fun and engaging way.Empathy Journal: A Book for Kids: Prompts to Build Compassion and Understand Feelings This journal encourages children to reflect on their emotions and develop a deeper understanding of empathy.

These resources can be valuable tools in nurturing your child’s emotional intelligence and social understanding. If you need personalized guidance or support in implementing these concepts, please book a 1:1 consultation with us here: https://topmate.io/namita_das11.

Together, we can empower our children to build meaningful friendships and navigate social situations with confidence and compassion.

Focus Without the Fight: Real Strategies for Supporting ADHD Kids

“Mumma, can I do math after I draw Owlette?”

That’s how our Tuesday started.

While I was setting up his books, my son had already grabbed his crayons. In the past, I might have reminded him firmly, “Math first, then art.” But this time, I paused.

Because I’ve learned something important: focus doesn’t follow our schedule—especially when you’re neurodiverse.

The Myth of “All-Day Focus”

As parents and educators, we’re fed this idea that focus should look like sitting still for hours, eye contact locked, and tasks completed in one go. For children—especially those with ADHD or sensory differences—this kind of attention span isn’t just unrealistic. It’s unfair.

My son can build a whole PJ Masks scene from memory, fold laundry into the correct drawers (yes, even socks), and complete an entire math worksheet—but not in the morning, not all at once, and never without wiggles in between.

At first, I panicked. Was he not “trying hard enough”? Did I need stricter routines? More charts? Maybe timers?

But over time—and with a lot of coffee and compassionate observation—I discovered something better.

Here’s What Actually Helped Us: Real, Gentle Focus Strategies That Work

These aren’t “quick fixes.” We made rhythm-based, brain-friendly adjustments as a family—and the results have been beautiful.

1.      We Honor His Natural Rhythm

My son, like many kids, isn’t a morning person. His brain blooms in the evening. So we save higher-order thinking (math, writing) after 4 p.m.

Instead of forcing focus when his brain isn’t ready, we work with his clock, not against it.

Tip: Notice your child’s “alert windows” over a few days—when they’re more talkative, curious, or self-driven—and plan key activities for those zones.

2.      Micro-Tasks with Clear Wins

Instead of “Do your homework,” I say, “Let’s do the first two questions together.” Then I say, “Your turn—just one!”

He feels success early by chunking tasks into micro-missions, which builds momentum.

Try This: Use a fun voice or visual cue like “Level 1: Complete two letters!” and build from there like a game.

3.      Body Breaks with Purpose

Not just “run around,” but intentional movement.

We do 10 wall push-ups, march to the mailbox, or even “dragon breath” (deep inhales and fire-breathing exhales) between tasks.

It clears the fuzz and resets the focus.

Activity: Create a “Focus Reset Jar” with slips like “5 frog jumps,” “tiptoe walk,” or “wiggle like jelly for 10 seconds.” Let your child pick one when energy dips.

4.      The Magic of ‘When–Then’ Language

We use simple phrasing like, “When you finish colouring two shapes, we’ll water the plants.”

It’s respectful clear, and gives him a visual endpoint.

Pro Tip: Keep “then” activities short and naturally motivating (not bribes). Even planting a seed or checking on their pet counts!

5.      Earnable Focus Tokens

We created “Focus Tokens”—tiny cut-outs he decorates and collects.

He earns one whenever he finishes a task without resistance or asks for a break before melting down.

At bedtime, three tokens = a special story, longer snuggle time, or picking the next day’s breakfast.

Focus Isn’t a Straight Line—It’s a Rhythm

Some days, it still feels like we’re doing the cha-cha with attention. But now, I see the beauty in that dance.

I’m not trying to force my son to fit into a focus model that doesn’t serve him, but I’m building one with him that does.

And in that process?

I’ve become more patient.

He’s become more confident.

And both of us have learned that focus doesn’t mean perfect stillness—it just means gentle, consistent progress.

Does your child struggle with staying on task all day?

Drop a “FOCUS” for our free printable Focus Token template in the comments.

Or, if you want personalized support, book a 1:1 consult with me here → https://topmate.io/namita_das11.

Let’s build a focus rhythm that works with our children, not against them.

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Recommended Tools & Resources for Supporting Focus

To further support your child’s focus journey, here are some thoughtfully selected tools and resources:

Helpful Books and Activity GuidesADHD Tools for Kids: Your Help Handbook with Fun Exercises This book offers engaging exercises and activities designed to help children self-regulate and enhance their focus skills.Brain Training for Kids with ADHD: 101 Fun Exercises and Logic Puzzles: A collection of fun exercises and puzzles to improve children’s concentration, self-regulation, and executive functioning.Thriving with ADHD Workbook for Kids: 60 Fun Activities This workbook provides activities that help children understand their ADHD and develop strategies to feel more confident and in control.Free Online Courses for Parents and Educators Unlocking Your Potential: A Comprehensive Guide for People with ADHD This free course offers insights into managing ADHD, developing healthy habits, and boosting productivity. Hyperactivity Disorder in Children Designed for parents and educators, this course provides strategies for working with children with ADHD at home and in school settings. Introduction to Developmental Disorders This course covers various developmental disorders, including ADHD. It offers strategies for providing care to children living with these conditions.

These resources can be valuable additions to your toolkit, offering practical strategies and insights to support your child’s focus and overall well-being.

For personalized guidance tailored to your child’s unique needs, feel free to book a 1:1 consultation with us here: https://topmate.io/namita_das11

Soothing Sensory Toy Activities That Help Your Child Feel Calm and Connected

I still remember the day I realized it wasn’t about the tantrum.

Kuku was barely four. We had just returned from the supermarket — a trip filled with fluorescent lights, blaring music, and crowded aisles. The minute we walked into the house, he collapsed on the floor, crying inconsolably. I tried offering water, food, and a toy — but nothing worked.

Until I handed him a squishy ball, I’d bought on a whim.

He squeezed it. Again. And again. And again.

Five minutes later, he was calmer. Quieter. Ready for a cuddle.

That’s when I realized my child wasn’t “misbehaving.”

He was overwhelmed. His nervous system was overloaded.

And that little squishy ball? It wasn’t just a toy. It was his lifeline.

The Sensory World of a Child with ADHD (and why it can feel like too much)

Children with ADHD or other neurodiverse traits often experience the world in high definition. Sounds are louder. Lights are brighter. Clothes itchier. Instructions blur together. It’s not about “not listening” —trying to survive the noise inside and outside.

When their bodies don’t know how to self-regulate, children rely on us — their caregivers, parents, teachers — to help them find calm. This is where sensory activities come in.

But here’s the thing:

You don’t need a Pinterest-worthy “sensory bin.”

You don’t need to buy a dozen expensive toys.

What you need is intentional play — and observation.

So, What Are Soothing Sensory Toy Activities?

They’re simple activities that give your child’s body what it’s craving — movement, pressure, texture, rhythm, or calm — in a safe, engaging way. Think of them as the body’s way of finding balance.

When used consistently (not just during meltdowns), they can help your child:

Improve focusReduce anxiety or restlessnessSleep betterExpress their needs more clearlyTransition more smoothly from one task to another5 Easy Soothing Sensory Toy Activities We Still Use (And You Can Too!)

Here are some activities Kuku and I still turn to — at home, during homework time, or before bed:

1.    Frozen Sponge Squeeze

Wet a sponge, place it in a ziplock bag, and freeze it. Let your child squeeze and squish it when they feel fidgety or frustrated. The cold sensation + resistance provides calming input to their muscles.

2.    Texture Trail Walk

Stick different textures (bubble wrap, felt, foil, sandpaper) on the floor in a line. Have your child walk barefoot along the trail. This grounds them, especially when they’re overstimulated.

3.    Mystery Drawing on the Back

Before bed, gently trace shapes or letters on your child’s back with your finger. Ask them to guess what it is. This builds connection, body awareness, and calm — all in one.

4.    Weighted Soft Toy or Pillow Time

We don’t have a therapy-grade weighted blanket, but we do have “Mr. Turtle,” a soft toy filled with rice. Kuku places it on his lap during reading or winding-down time. The weight anchors him.

5.    DIY Calm Box

Let your child decorate a small box and fill it with soothing tools: a mini puzzle, putty, textured fabric, a photo they love, and a lavender sachet. This box becomes their choice, which builds self-regulation skills over time.

One Small Activity a Day = One Big Step Toward Calm

We don’t always need to wait for a meltdown to start regulation.

Sometimes, we just need to look a little closer:

Is their body wiggly?

Are their hands restless?

Are they chewing their sleeve again?

These are not quirks to “fix” — they’re signals.

And soothing sensory toy activities are your gentle, playful answer.

Over to You:

Which of these ideas would your child enjoy the most?

Have a favourite sensory game of your own? Share it in the comments!

Need help building a sensory strategy that suits your unique child?

Click here to book a 1:1 consultation with me: https://topmate.io/namita_das11

Together, we’ll find what soothes your child — one small, joyful step at a time.

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Recommended Resources: Sensory Toys & Learning

To complement the sensory activities discussed, here are some thoughtfully selected products and a course that can aid in creating a calming environment for your child:

Sensory Toys Livond Calming Sensory Toys – 3 Pack Liquid Motion Bubbler Timers These visually engaging timers can help children with ADHD and sensory sensitivities focus and relax. Squishy Sensory Toys – 4 Pack Glitter-Filled Tubes Soft and squeezable, these glitter-filled tubes provide tactile stimulation, aiding in stress relief and focus. Fidget Sensory Toy – Rainbow Popper (Pack of 4) These pop-it toys offer a repetitive motion that can be soothing for children needing sensory input. BunMo Stretchy Strings – 6 Pack These stretchable strings can help channel excess energy and improve focus through tactile engagement.The Finger Slug Fidget Toy is designed to relieve stress and enhance focus and concentration in children with ADHD.Educational Course Understanding ADHD: A Guide for Parents and Educators This free course offers insights into ADHD, providing strategies to support children effectively.

Integrating these tools and knowledge can empower you to create a supportive environment tailored to your child’s sensory needs. If you require personalized guidance in selecting your child’s sensory activities or toys, please book a 1:1 consultation with us: https://topmate.io/namita_das11.

Is My Child Ready for Preschool? Spotting the Signs Beyond Age

The Backpack Isn’t the Sign—Your Child’s Play Might Be.

I still remember the morning my son Kuku started preschool.

His bag was packed, his water bottle filled, and his uniform—an adorable size too small—was ironed with military precision.

Everything was ready… except him.

Kuku crawled under the table three days in, clinging to my leg like a koala. The teacher gave me the kindest smile she could manage before saying, “He might just need more time.”

More time? But he was three and a half! The “right” age, right?

That’s when it hit me: I had prepared everything except the part that mattered most—his readiness.

Why We Miss the Signs

Most of us think preschool readiness is about age, potty training, or the ability to recite A like a mini YouTube star. But here’s what we’re missing:

Preschool isn’t just a place. It’s a shift.

A shift from one-on-one caregiving to shared attention.

From free-flowing days to structure.

From parallel play to interactive play.

And for neurodiverse kids? It’s a leap into sensory storms, social puzzles, and invisible expectations.

I’ve learned that actual readiness hides in moments we overlook—the pauses between play, the way a child asks for help, and the tiny “wins” in transitions.

The Four Real Signs of Preschool Readiness

Here’s what I now look for—not just as a professional, but as a parent who’s been there:

1.    Flexible Attention

Can your child move from one activity to another with a bit of support—not a full-blown meltdown?

This doesn’t mean zero fuss. It means they can handle transitions, maybe with a countdown, song, or a visual cue.

2.    Seeking (Some) Independence

Do they try to unzip their bag, open a snack box, or wash their hands with minimal help—even if it’s messy or slow?

It’s the trying that counts.

3.    Basic Emotional Expression

Can they express basic needs like “I’m tired,” “I want Mama,” or “No, stop”?

Even with gestures or a few words—this shows emerging emotional awareness and a growing ability to self-advocate.

4.    Group Play Readiness

Can they sit near others during story time or engage in short play sessions that involve turn-taking, imitation, or simple cooperation?

These are the real muscles of preschool.

Activity You Can Try: The “Play → Pause → Pivot” Game

This one is a favourite in my sessions and my living room:

Step 1: Choose a favourite activity—building blocks, pretend tea party, colouring.

Step 2: After 5 minutes, gently pause. Say, “Let’s take a break and try something else now!”

Step 3: Shift to a new activity (snack, movement, storytime). Praise any cooperation.

Example: “Wow, you stopped playing so quickly! That’s exactly what we do in big-kid school!”

Why it works:

This playful routine builds transition tolerance, emotional regulation, and executive function—all without using a single worksheet.

Let’s Redefine ‘Ready’

Preschool shouldn’t be the first place your child learns to take turns or ask for help. We can and should start these skills gently, joyfully, and without pressure at home.

If your child isn’t showing all the signs yet—it’s OK. Readiness is a spectrum, not a checklist. And your child is not “behind” because they need more time. They’re simply on their own timeline—and that deserves respect.

Let’s Talk:

What’s one thing your child does that makes you feel they’re ready—or not quite—for preschool? I’d love to hear your stories in the comments below.

Need personalized guidance for your child’s school transition, behaviour concerns, or emotional development?

Click here to book a 1:1 consultation with me.

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Recommended Resources for Parents & Educators

To support your journey in preparing your child for preschool, here are some thoughtfully selected resources:

Free Online Courses: Reading Readiness: Signs to Look for and Tips to Prepare Your Child for Literacy Success This course offers practical strategies to nurture your child’s early literacy skills, focusing on language development, print awareness, and engaging reading activities.Self-Regulation in Early Childhood Understanding self-regulation is crucial for preschool readiness. This resource delves into attention regulation, emotion control, and behaviour management strategies to support your child’s development. Autism Spectrum Disorder in Early Childhood For parents of neurodiverse children, this course provides insights into ASD, including behavioural strategies and educational methods tailored for young learners.Recommended Products Melissa & Doug Wooden Building Blocks Set Enhance fine motor skills and creativity with this classic set of wooden blocks, perfect for open-ended play. Skillmatics Preschool Champion – Educational Game This interactive game covers essential preschool concepts through fun activities, promoting cognitive development.Fisher-Price Laugh & Learn Smart Stages Chair: A playful chair that introduces numbers, shapes, and more, adapting to your child’s learning stage.FirstCry Intelliskills Preschool Readiness Kit: A comprehensive kit designed to prepare children aged 3-4 for preschool, focusing on key developmental areas.

These resources and products are curated to support your child’s transition into preschool, focusing on building foundational skills through engaging and developmentally appropriate activities.

How Epigenetics Is Quietly Revolutionizing Care for Neurodiverse Children

“He was just born this way.”

I’ve heard that phrase more times than I can count—and most painfully.

It’s whispered during school meetings, said with a shrug during therapy sessions, and sometimes—sadly—with finality.

But here’s what I’ve learned through science, sessions, and real life:

Genes are not the end of your child’s story.

In fact, they’re just the beginning.

Wait—what is Epigenetics, really?

Let’s break it down without the jargon.

Think of your child’s DNA like a bookshelf. All the stories (genes) are already there. But epigenetics is like the little Post-it notes, bookmarks, or even locks on some of those books. These “markers” decide which genes are read, when, and how loudly. And guess what influences those markers?

Environment.

Relationships.

Stress.

Nutrition.

Sleep.

Safety.

Daily life.

This is big. Because what we do with our children daily can shape how their brain develops—even when a diagnosis is involved.

Why Should Parents and Educators Care?

Because for neurodiverse children—those who speak later, regulate differently or process the world in unique ways—this changes everything.

Here’s the myth we need to break:

That behaviour, speech delays, or emotional outbursts are “just how they are.”

Here’s the truth:

Supportive, predictable, nurturing environments can change how their brains express specific genes.

That includes speech-related genes, emotional regulation, attention, learning, and immunity.

This doesn’t mean blaming parents (we’re already carrying too much of that).

It means empowering parents and educators—because small, intentional shifts in how we respond can create real, lasting change.

Let Me Tell You About Kuku

My son, Kuku, has ADHD and a wild imagination that can outrun a cheetah and confuse a classroom. For a while, I worried his impulsive behaviour meant he’d always struggle with friendships and focus.

Then we started doing a few things consistently:

We created a wind-down ritual every night.We used picture cards to prep him for transitions.We practised “feelings play”—giving emotions names and faces.And we made our house feel like a place where mistakes are okay.

Slowly, I saw changes.

Not just in behaviour but in how he saw himself.

His nervous system was learning to relax. His brain, once always on high alert, started feeling safe enough to grow.

This is epigenetics at work.

Not magic. Just science meets care.

So, What Can YOU Do Today?

You don’t need fancy labs or genetic testing.

You need connection, consistency, and compassion.

Here are some small things that speak to your child’s genes every day:

Morning Touch Points:

Start the day with a high-five, hug, or gentle check-in. It signals safety and regulation from the get-go.

Visual Routines:

Use pictures or simple drawings to create daily schedules. This reduces uncertainty and teaches the brain to predict and adapt.

Emotion Play:

Give names, shapes, or voices to feelings. This externalizes emotion and reduces inner chaos.

Narrate the Good:

Instead of “Good job,” try “I noticed you waited your turn—that was thoughtful.” Specific praise builds internal motivation.

Evening Calm Corners:

Create a cosy spot with soft light, a stuffed animal, and a feelings chart. Spend 5 minutes together there before bedtime.

One Final Thought

Your child isn’t a diagnosis.

They’re a living system of possibility shaped daily by love, routines, and safe relationships.

Epigenetics doesn’t promise perfection. But it offers something even better:

Hope is backed by science.

So next time someone says, “He was just born this way,” smile gently—and remember:

Genes may write the first draft, but YOU are helping edit the story.

Have a small ritual or parenting win you swear by? Share it in the comments!

Need personalized strategies? Book a 1:1 consultation with me here.

Let’s turn “just the way they are” into “look how far they’ve come.”

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Recommended Resources

To further explore the fascinating world of genetics and how our environment influences gene expression, consider these free online courses:

Applications of Biotechnology This course offers a comprehensive overview of how genetic engineering and biotechnology can improve agriculture, medical science, and biological research. It delves into techniques like plant-tissue cultures and the production of monoclonal antibodies, providing a solid foundation for understanding the practical applications of biotechnology. Fundamentals in Biotechnology and Genetics Explore the clinical applications of biotechnological tools and the principles of Mendelian genetics and heredity. This course covers how DNA tools and biotechnology have revolutionized diagnostics and therapeutic interventions, offering insights into the foundational concepts of genetics.

These courses are designed to provide a deeper understanding of the science behind gene expression and its real-world applications. They can be particularly beneficial for parents, educators, and caregivers interested in the biological underpinnings of child development and behaviour.

Feel free to explore these resources to enhance your knowledge and support your journey in understanding and applying epigenetics principles in caregiving.