Namita Das's Blog, page 6

Under the Trees: When Nature Becomes the Safe Space

Some children don’t need a quieter room. They need no room at all.

The first time I took a session outdoors, it wasn’t because of a clever plan. It was because nothing was working.

The child had refused to enter the room. He’d pushed the chair, shaken the door, and curled up by the cupboard. Inside that room, the air felt too still. Too watched. Too tense. I could see it in his breathing, and I could hear it in the silence that followed my questions.

So I asked, “Want to go outside?”

He ran ahead before I could finish the sentence.

We sat under a tree, his choice.

He didn’t look at me for ten minutes.

Then he picked up a dry leaf, turned it over, and said, “This is crunchy. Like my brain.”

No worksheet could have unlocked that.

When Indoors Feels Like a Cage

We often believe that structure equals safety, including schedules. Seating. Behaviour charts. Indoor rooms.

But for many neurodivergent children, these structures can feel like traps.

The flicker of tube lights. The scratch of plastic chairs. The echo of footsteps in narrow halls. The pressure of being watched.

And when these children bolt, freeze, fidget, or lash out, we often try to tighten the system.

What they really need is for us to loosen the grip.

They’re not resisting help.

They’re resisting the setting.

What Happens When We Shift the Environment

Outdoors, something changes.

The child no longer feels boxed in. Their senses aren’t assaulted. Their bodies find rhythm in the grass, in walking, in swinging their legs over a stone.

They are no longer the focus. Nature is.

This reduces pressure.

And when pressure drops, communication can begin.

I’ve had children paint with twigs, hum as they trace sand patterns, role-play using shadows, and build nests with dry leaves, calling them “safe homes”.

These aren’t just activities. Their language.

We think of it as talking. However, it often begins with taking action. With being. With belonging.

Outdoors, the hierarchy of adult-child dissolves. We become co-explorers.

What You Can Try

You don’t need a forest or a garden.

You need openness.

Try this:

Offer the child a choice of space: balcony, yard, terrace, or park.Begin the session without an agenda. Let the materials be simple: paper, sticks, water, and chalk.Follow their lead. Observe what they touch, what they repeat.Use the elements around you to mirror emotions:

  “That rock looks heavy. Are you feeling something heavy?”

  “The wind is fast today. Is your mind running too?”

You’ll notice how often children start drawing out what’s inside when the outside doesn’t push back.

Why This Matters for Shadow Teachers, Educators, and Parents

We’re taught to stick to routines. And that works until it doesn’t.

The moment a child starts showing you signs of shutdown, overwhelm, or distress, it’s not a behaviour problem. It’s a sensory and emotional signal.

The solution might not be in a new strategy.

It might lie under a tree, next to a stone, or in the silence of the sky above.

In Closing

Under the trees is not a replacement. It’s a reminder.

The most effective support is not always structured.

Sometimes, it’s simply present.

Sometimes, it steps out of the plan and into the light.

If you’re supporting a neurodivergent child who seems unreachable in traditional settings, don’t give up.

Try a different door. Or better yet, no door at all.

Need help finding what works for your child or student?

Book a 1:1 consultation with me here

Let’s work together to create safer, softer spaces for every child.

Recommended

Sensory Tools to Bring Outdoors

To support self-expression and sensory regulation during outdoor sessions, consider these affordable kits:

Tickit Sensory Rainbow Glitter Balls – Pack of 6 : Perfect for calming through tactile play, these soft, squeezable, shimmer-filled balls allow kids to manipulate them in natural light. Kinetic Sand Sensory Case : Brings the tactile freedom of sand to a portable set ideal for drawing patterns in the soil or experimenting with texture under the shade of a tree.

These tools can help build focus, draw out emotion, or simply invite play without screens or pressure.

Free Courses to Deepen Your Practice

Take your knowledge further with these   courses that align closely with outdoor, child-centred approaches:

Child Counselling and Psychotherapy – Offers foundational insights into working with children’s emotional worlds using creative, non‑directive methods. Child Development: Play Therapy – Explores how natural play facilitates emotional healing, communication, and growth. Outdoor Education – Adventure – Though geared to group facilitation, it offers ideas for structuring safe, sensory-rich sessions outdoors.

Each is free, self-paced, and includes certification options, making it perfect for shadow teachers, students, and parents to integrate meaningful play into real-world settings.

These products and courses can amplify the impact of “Under the Trees” by blending hands-on tools with a deeper theoretical understanding.

Recovery After Emotional Storm

You hear the crash before you see the tears. A pencil was flung. A loud “NO!” echoed down the corridor. Then silence. Not the peaceful kind, but the heavy kind, the kind that fills a room when a child’s emotions have spilt over and everyone’s holding their breath, unsure what to do next.

And just like that, life resumes. Or at least, it pretends to.

Adults move on. Lessons continue. Toys are picked up.

But the child? The child is still in pieces.

The Quiet After the Storm

I remember watching my son after an immense feeling took over his morning. He wasn’t shouting anymore. He wasn’t moving either. Just sat, knees to chest, staring into nothing. I had packed away the crayons, wiped the table, reset the room, but his face told me the real clean-up hadn’t even started.

Later that day, someone said, “He’s okay now, right?”

I nodded. But my heart whispered, “Not really.”

Because here’s the truth: after an emotional storm, children often enter a new state, not of calm, but of confusion, shame, exhaustion, or numbness. They may not have the words for what they feel. They may not even know they’re still feeling it.

That’s when we lose them if we rush back to normal.

What Recovery Really Needs

It’s tempting to think that once the meltdown ends, our job is done. But recovery isn’t about silence. It’s about safety. About creating a gentle space where the child knows they’re still held, still seen, still accepted.

Sometimes, that looks like inviting them to scribble on scrap paper without comment.

Sometimes, it’s sitting nearby with two soft toys and letting them choose which one gets a hug.

Sometimes, it’s just breathing out loud and letting them match your rhythm.

What matters most is not what you say. It’s that you stay.

Children remember who sat beside them when the storm passed. They remember who made space for their slow rebuild. And they slowly learn to trust that their big feelings won’t push love away.

Your Quiet Presence Is the Bridge

The moments after an emotional outburst are tender and sacred, not for punishment or lectures but for reconnection.

If you work with or love a child who feels deeply, don’t just plan for the storm.

Prepare for the stillness after.

Make space for the soft things.

That’s where healing begins.

Need guidance on how to support a child after emotional overload?

Book a 1:1 consultation hereRecommended ResourcesTools for Emotional Recovery

Learning Resources Cool Down Cubes Sensory Fidget Set – A set of tactile cubes designed to help children self-regulate through touch. They offer a quiet, structured way to shift focus after emotional overload, ideal for educators, shadow teachers, and parents working with neurodiverse children.

LiL Penguin Studios Autism Calm‑Down Kit – A portable kit with visual prompts and soothing activities like calm-down posters and worksheets. Perfect for supporting moments after an emotional storm and teaching simple recovery strategies in calm-down corners or one-on-one settings.

Calm Down Cards (Zones of Regulation style) Kit – A deck of guided breathing and reflection cards to help individuals step back and reconnect after intense feelings. Useful for shadow teachers and professionals to offer practical, step-by-step support for emotional recovery and well-being.

Courses to Build Confidence & Techniques Diploma in Emotional Intelligence – A free diploma course offering deep, practical tools to help adults (educators, parents, professionals) understand and support emotional self-awareness and regulation, core to guiding children after meltdowns. Special Needs School Shadow Support – This course focuses on techniques for supporting children with neurodevelopmental differences during meltdowns, including the use of visual supports and de-escalation strategies. Prepare Me AsIAm – Autistic Play – Highlights the importance of free, self-directed play as a way to return to calm, directly supporting emotional repair after an event and helping children reconstruct a sense of emotional safety.

Each of these resources supports practical rebuilding, helping the child feel seen, heard, and held after an emotional storm. Educators, parents, and professionals can select one or more options based on their specific setting or available space.

When Starting Feels Too Hard: Why Brains Freeze and Tasks Stall

Understanding the invisible roadblocks of executive functioning

“Just start.”

Two words that sound simple.

But for many neurodiverse children and adults, those words are the equivalent of shouting instructions from the shore to someone lost in a foggy sea.

It’s not that they don’t want to begin.

It’s that their brain hasn’t landed on the how.

The Colouring Sheets That Never Got Coloured

A few weeks ago, my son was bubbling with excitement.

He asked me to print fifteen PJ Masks colouring pages. He had big plans; he wanted to colour them all, line them up like an art gallery, and maybe even stick them on his cupboard.

I printed them.

Day one: he couldn’t stop. He coloured like his hands were on fire. He skipped meals, humming away, completely immersed.

Day two: still interested, but needed a reminder.

Day three: I nudged him to colour. He half-heartedly scribbled on one.

By the end of the week? The sheets lay untouched. Even after several reminders, they sat there crisp, blank, and slightly crumpled under toys.

At first glance, it looks like he lost interest. Or maybe he gave up.

But that’s not the real story.

The real issue was that he couldn’t figure out how to re-enter the activity. His excitement fizzled, and now it was a task. The steps blurred. The energy dropped. And asking for help or direction felt like another thing he didn’t have the words for.

What’s Really Going On?

This isn’t about colouring sheets.

It’s about executive functioning, the part of the brain responsible for starting, organising, prioritising, and following through.

Here’s what often happens for many children (and adults) with ADHD or executive functioning challenges:

They get overwhelmed by options. Even if they want to begin, they don’t know where to start.They’re not sure what’s “important” to begin with. Everything feels equally significant, urgent, or unclear.They don’t ask for help because they can’t figure out what kind of help to ask for.They struggle to break down large ideas into small, doable steps. So they freeze or appear disinterested.

This pattern shows up in classrooms, homes, offices, and friendships. A teen might never start that school project. A teacher might never delegate tasks to the assistant. A parent might struggle to sort through an overflowing inbox or a messy home.

What we see on the surface: avoidance, forgetfulness, lack of motivation.

What’s really happening: decision fatigue, internal chaos, emotional overwhelm.

Where the World Gets It Wrong

The message society often sends, especially in schools, is:

“You just have to try harder. Be responsible. Manage your time better. Ask for help.”

But we rarely teach how.

We don’t break it down.

We expect delegation and initiation to come naturally.

For neurodiverse individuals, these aren’t default skills. They need to be modelled, supported, and practised.

So What Can We Do Differently?

We can start by offering scaffolding instead of judgment.

Here’s what that looks like:

Visual choices. Instead of saying “Go colour something,” lay out two sheets and ask, “Which one do you feel like doing today?”Chunk the task. Break large plans into small pieces. Don’t say “Clean your room.” Try, “Let’s start with the books. Can you stack them here?”Co-delegate. Model delegation. Let them see you asking for help in real time, and narrate your process.Name the stuck feeling. “I see you really wanted to do this, and now it feels hard to begin. That happens to me, too. Let’s try the first bit together.”Celebrate attempts, not just completions. Motivation comes from success, not pressure.Final Thoughts: From Mountains to Ladders

When someone can’t begin or doesn’t delegate, it’s rarely about attitude.

It’s about architecture, how their brain is wired, and whether we’re giving them bridges or just more cliffs.

What feels like a small task to one person can feel like climbing a staircase with no steps to another.

Instead of pushing them to start, let’s meet them where they are.

Let’s give them the first step.

And remind them they don’t have to climb alone.

Let’s Talk

Have you ever felt stuck on a task you were excited about?

What helps you or your child move from “I want to” to “I can”?

Share your story in the comments, and if you’d like personalised strategies and support:

book a 1:1 consultation with meRecommended Resources

Understand Your Brain, Get More Done: The ADHD Executive Functions Workbook

This practical workbook helps children, teens, and adults identify their executive function challenges and apply simple, art‑inspired activities to build skills in planning, task initiation, and managing overwhelm. Pages are engaging and easy to use, perfect for shadow teachers or parents guiding neurodiverse learners.

Reusable Memo Board To‑Do List

A tactile, visual tool designed to help learners break tasks down and track progress. Ideal for educators and parents working with neurodiverse children who benefit from seeing each step clearly. Moveable sticky notes help reinforce a sense of completion and motivation.

Online Course

Child Development: Executive Functions

Free, self‑paced, beginner‑level course that explores how executive functions develop in childhood and offers strategies educators and parents can use to strengthen planning, decision‑making, and task initiation. Great for shadow teachers, therapists, and professionals seeking foundational knowledge and practical techniques.

Each resource is selected to support the main challenges discussed in the blog: making beginnings and delegation more manageable by breaking tasks into enjoyable, straightforward, and scaffolded steps.

Feel free to preview these tools and see which one best fits your learners’ needs.

Confidence Begins in Crayons: How Creativity Helps Children Believe in Themselves

He couldn’t sit still long enough to finish writing three lines. But he remembered every move of a dance he made up himself.

It was one of those mornings. You know the kind.

The pencil kept rolling off the table. The eraser became a racing car.

I had prepped everything for a smooth start to his writing practice. Three lines. That’s all we needed.

Instead, he jumped up mid-word, cranked up Jack Hartmann on the speaker, and began performing.

Each letter of the alphabet got its own move.

B was a bounce. M was a moonwalk attempt. Z was… let’s just say dramatic.

I almost stepped in to stop him.

Wasn’t this just another way to avoid the task? But something made me pause.

Because for the first time that morning, he wasn’t distracted.

He was engaged. Focused. Joyful.

And strangely proud of what he had created.

The Confidence Crisis We Don’t Talk About

So many parents I meet feel stuck.

“My child doesn’t believe in themselves.”

“They’re always saying I can’t or I’m not good at it.”

“They compare themselves to others and shut down.”

This silent confidence crisis in children often hides beneath behaviour we label as silly, lazy, inattentive, or dramatic.

And here’s what I’ve learned, especially raising a child with ADHD, confidence doesn’t always come from achievement.

It often begins in moments of creative success.

Where there’s no correct answer.

No red mark.

No correction.

Just expression. Just being.

Why Creativity Helps Build ConfidenceIt Offers Autonomy Without Pressure

When a child paints, dances, builds, writes, or invents, they decide what it becomes.

This choice and control give them a rare feeling of “I made this. I figured this out.”

It’s Risk Without Real Fear

In play, mistakes don’t feel like failures.

A story that doesn’t make sense, a drawing that looks “funny,” or a sculpture that won’t stand its all part of the game.

And each attempt strengthens emotional tolerance and self-trust.

It Strengthens Problem Solving and Focus (Yes, Really)

Many kids who seem distracted in structured tasks can focus for long stretches when creating.

Why? Because they’re internally motivated.

They’re leading the process.

This self-direction builds executive function in gentle, natural ways.

It Validates Emotions Without Needing Words

A worried child might not say, “I feel anxious today.”

But they might draw a thunderstorm, stomp in a dance, or create a villain in a story.

And every time we see that expression without judgment, they learn “My feelings matter. I am heard.”

So, What Can You Do Today?

Here’s an activity that’s worked wonders in my home and with the children I work with:

The “I Made This” Jar

What You Need:

A clean jar or boxSlips of paperColour pencils, crayons

How It Works: Each day, invite your child to write or draw one thing they made or imagined.

It could be:

A doodleA Lego creatureA silly poemA dance stepA jokeA sandwich creationA new game with their toys

They drop it into the jar.

Every weekend, sit down together and pull out a few.

Read. Laugh. Appreciate.

No scores. No corrections. Just shared pride.

The Real Win

That dance-alphabet routine my son did? He remembered every move the next day.

We turned it into a phonics revision.

We called it “The Alphabet Show.”

And when he took the lead, his posture changed.

Shoulders back. Eyes shining.

Confidence doesn’t always roar.

Sometimes, it twirls.

Your Turn

What’s the quirkiest or most creative thing your child has made recently? Let’s celebrate it.

And if you’d like to talk more about how to help your child feel confident, expressive, and understood?

Click here to book a 1:1 consultation with us

You don’t need to be perfect. You need presence.

And creativity might just be your best parenting ally yet.

Recommended Tools & CoursesCreative Kits for Hands‑On Confidence

Boost your child’s creative confidence with these engaging art & craft kits:

Craftwings Mega Art & Craft Kit – 35‑in‑1 : Packed with pastel sheets, pom-poms, scissors and more, this kit encourages independent crafting, decision-making and self-expression at an accessible price point, ideal for daily creative play. Clementoni Idea Creatiestudio Marker Studio : A premium art studio set, offering rich creative experiences and encouraging imaginative design, ideal for the child who loves drawing and storytelling.Free Online Courses to Support You as You Support Your Child

Wish to better understand how creativity, play, and self-regulation work in childhood development? These courses offer insight and practical strategies:

“Play in Early Childhood” provides a comprehensive overview of how pretend play fosters focus, emotional expression, creativity, and self-regulation.“Free Arts and Crafts Courses” help you learn how to reflect on creative work, both yours and your child’s, boosting confidence and self-awareness through artistic expression.Why These MatterTool / CourseHow It Supports Creativity and ConfidenceCreative KitsProvide autonomy, choice, and “I made this” moments that strengthen self-belief.CoursesEquip you with a research-based understanding of play, art, and emotional growth tools that you can bring into your everyday parenting.What To Do NextPick a kit and set aside a dedicated “make time” each week, with no screens and no pressure.Label their creations and celebrate them.Enrol in one of the courses and reflect on how your child’s play aligns with what you learn.

When children have the confidence to make, imagine, and try, they discover just how capable they truly are.

Another Day Gone: Parenting in the Spin Cycle

This morning, I stared at my planner for a good six minutes.

It was supposed to be a light day: finish a blog post, prep a reel, and respond to two emails.

Kuku was playing nearby, humming along to Jack Hartmann and doing his “concert moves.”

No chaos. No crisis.

And yet, by evening, not one task on my list was crossed off.

Not. One.

I didn’t feel overwhelmed. Not exactly. But I felt… foggy. Like I was moving in circles inside my head, and everything kept slipping through. The more I tried to “start,” the heavier it all got. I found myself going from fridge to phone to window to snack to sofa, half-present, half-guilty.

It was a classic case of what I call “the spin cycle.”

And I’m not talking about laundry.

What Is the Spin Cycle?

It’s that pattern where the day blurs into fragments:

A thought here, a reminder there.An unfinished sentence on your phone.A school bag you opened but never repacked.That thing you meant to do but somehow didn’t.

You’re not lazy. You’re not bad at time management. You’re simply stuck in a loop of mental tasks that never get externalised.

And suppose you’re parenting a neurodiverse child, especially one who needs co-regulation, transitions, and emotional scaffolding throughout the day. In that case, your brain is likely constantly prioritising “What does my child need right now?” over “What did I need to finish today?”

But I Didn’t Even Do Much Today… Right?

Oh, but you did.

You tracked your child’s shifting moods like a human radar.

You managed three snack negotiations and a toothbrush standoff.

You fielded big feelings from a little body while staying calm-ish.

You said, “Let’s try again,” instead of snapping.

None of that makes it to the to-do list.

But it all takes mental energy. And a lot of heart.

What We Often Miss As Parents

Here’s the silent truth:

Many of us, especially parents of children with ADHD, sensory needs, or emotional regulation challenges, are functioning in constant low-grade emergency mode. Our brains are juggling stimuli, trying to anticipate and respond, and never quite shutting down.

So when the time finally comes to sit and “get things done,” we’re flat. Not because we’ve done nothing. But because we’ve done everything invisible.

Okay… But How Do I Get Stuff Done Then?

Here’s what I’ve found works   not perfectly, but consistently enough to help me move again when I’m stuck in the spin:

1.      Make a “Done List” Instead of a To-Do List

At the end of the day, write down everything you did  

“Helped Kuku calm down after his shirt felt weird.”

“Gave full attention during pretend play concert.”

“Didn’t snap when the Lego tower broke… again.”

This reframes your self-talk and builds motivation from success, not shame.

2.      Use “Tiny Task Anchors”

Instead of “Write blog post,” I’ll write:

Open the Notes app

Title the draft

Write the first sentence

Visibility makes things doable.

3.      Time-Box the Boring Stuff with Movement

Set a 5-minute timer. Before starting the task, move: 10 star jumps, stretch, or a silly dance. Then go.

It helps break the inertia. And if your child joins in, it becomes a connection point too.

4.      Pair Tasks with Play or Conversation

If I need to brainstorm content, I let Kuku pretend to interview me with a fake mic.

When we’re folding things (yes, sometimes we do fold things!), we make it a beat-the-timer game.

It turns work into a shared experience, not a solitary burden.

5.      Pick One Thing, and Let That Be Enough

Some days, all I do is show up for my son and be kind to myself.

That’s enough.

Tomorrow is another day.

And even if I lose the spin cycle again, I know how to find my way out.

Before You Go…

If this felt like your day too, blurry, busy, but strangely “empty,” I see you.

You’re doing more than you realise. And you don’t have to do it alone.

In the comments, tell me one tiny win from your day today. Let’s celebrate the invisible victories.

And suppose you’d like help setting up systems, establishing emotional routines, or just a space to talk through the parenting fog. In that case, I’d be happy to support you.

Click here to book a one-on-one consultation with me

You are not behind. You’re on your own timeline.

And you’re doing just fine.

Recommended ResourcesTools to Help Get Stuff Done Visual Timer for Kids (60-minute countdown) – This vibrantly colored visual timer gives you and your child a clear, concrete sense of time passing. Use it for 5-minute “tiny task” sprints, movement breaks, or transitions, great for breaking inertia or signalling breaks in a neutral, non-verbal way. The Self‑Regulation Workbook for Kids – Packed with simple, playful exercises inspired by CBT principles, this workbook helps kids (and parents!) practice planning, managing emotions, and breaking tasks into bite-sized steps. A parent–child activity goldmine.

Why these?

Clear visual timers and small, doable, scaffolded tasks are exactly what help shift the brain out of fog and into flow, especially when executive function is playing hide-and-seek.

Free Online Courses to Explore ADHD in Child Development   – Learn the key symptoms, different ADHD subtypes, and how parenting strategies can support a child’s attentional and emotional regulation. Child Development: Self‑Regulation – A hands-on introduction to self-control, delayed gratification, and attention management in early childhood. Includes sociodramatic play tips to help children internalise routines. Child Counselling & Psychotherapy – Delves into how to support children’s emotional and behavioural needs, perfect for those days when you feel like you “did nothing” visible but did so much emotionally.Quick Ways to Use TheseResourceHow to Use TodayVisual TimerTry a 5-minute countdown before starting a small task dance break at zero!WorkbookPick one emotion or challenge, and work through a page together.ADHD CourseLearn one new insight during nap or snack time today.Self‑Regulation CourseTry one play-based routine tip this evening.Counselling CourseJournal, one moment you supported your child emotionally today

Let me know if you’d like more resource suggestions, printable worksheets, or help integrating these tools into your daily family rhythm!

The Invisible Load: Why Moms Still Do More (Even When It’s Equal)

Last Tuesday morning, the kitchen was unusually calm.

Kuku was munching on cereal soaked in milk with chia seeds. My husband had just reminded me—again, bless him—that it was sports day. The water bottle was filled, the journal packed, and the uniform on.

So why did I feel like I’d already run a marathon?

Because while my hands were buttering toast, my brain was scanning through at least twenty other tabs:

“Did I pay for the field trip?”

“Should I talk to his teacher about how he’s been zoning out again?”

“Did he just wince when I said writing time? Is he anxious again?”

“Do I need to cut his nails?”

“Where’s that white sock? He needs that sock.”

I looked over at my husband—he was washing Kuku’s cup, humming, present.

And I found myself whispering under my breath:

“I’ll just do it.”We Share the Work… So Why Do Moms Still Feel Overloaded?

In many homes—including mine—the parenting is shared.

We tag-team the morning rush.

He helps brush his teeth, pack his bottles, and feed him breakfast.

And yet… something lingers. A quiet, often invisible weight that seems to settle heavier on moms.

It’s the mental to-do list.

The emotional radar.

The noticing.

The predicting.

The constant tracking of everyone else’s everything.

And we’ve normalised it.

Not because we want to be martyrs—

But because it’s quicker to do it ourselves, easier than explaining it, and let’s face it—sometimes it feels like only we’ll do it “right.”

But Here’s the Problem…

When we absorb the mental and emotional load without support, it teaches our children something as well.

They learn that Mum’s role is to manage and juggle without pause.

They notice who stays awake late, who tracks therapy appointments, who senses the meltdown before it happens, and who carries the weight quietly.

Even when we don’t say it aloud—they learn by watching.

And over time, the cost shows:

We get more irritable.We feel unseen.We don’t rest, even when we sit down.We lose space for ourselves.What If We Rewrote That Script—Together?

This isn’t about creating a perfectly balanced pie chart of tasks.

It’s about creating space—for awareness, for dialogue, for support.

Here are five small shifts that can help:

1. Externalise the Invisible

Start writing down the mental load. Not just chores, but also:

“Track sensory triggers this week.”“Think of a response for peer teasing.”“Decide whether to say yes to that birthday invite.”

When you see it on paper, others can see it too.

2. Have a Weekly Parenting Sync

15 minutes every Sunday. Sit with Chai and go over:

What worked this week?What felt too much?What’s coming up?

It’s a small but powerful habit that helps both parents feel like co-captains.

3. Give Age-Appropriate Roles to Kids

Even a kid can help:

Pick out tomorrow’s socksPut away therapy toysChoose their “calm down” music

This builds independence—and reduces the load on you.

4. Pause Before “I’ll Just Do It”

Next time that phrase rises in your throat, pause. Ask:

“Can I guide them through this instead of doing it?”“What happens if I let it be imperfect for today?”

Sometimes, “done together” matters more than “done perfectly.”

5. Use a Shared Visual Task Chart

This isn’t just for kids.

Make it colourful, stick it on the fridge, and let everyone have their column—Mum, Dad, Kuku.

Tasks. Emotional check-ins. Celebrations.

Suddenly, the household feels like a team. Not a solo mission.

Try This Today: “Name That Load” Activity

Take 10 minutes and sit quietly.

List everything on your mind related to parenting—emotional, physical, anticipatory.

Now, underline the ones your partner might not even know you’re tracking.

Pick one. Just one. And share it today.

Not with blame, but with curiosity:

“Hey, I realised I’ve been holding this silently. Can we talk about how we could share it?” Final Thought

Being the “default parent” doesn’t make you more caring.

It just makes you more tired.

Let’s raise our kids in homes where love isn’t measured by how much one person silently carries.

But by how well we see support and show up—together.

Need help creating more balance at home, especially if you’re parenting a neurodiverse child?

Book a 1:1 session with me, and let’s work through it—gently, together. Recommended Resources to Support Your Journey 1. Weekly Family Planner & Task Board

Help externalise the mental load with a visual tool you and your partner can update together. Look for a sturdy magnetic whiteboard family planner you can stick on the fridge featuring:

Columns for each family memberDaily & weekly task slotsSpace for “mental load notes” (e.g. reminders, emotional check-ins)

A quick search for “weekly planner magnetic board” will turn up several affordable and well-rated options. This simple purchase can make a big difference in sharing responsibilities and making the invisible visible.

2. Free Online Courses

Boost your parenting, emotional resilience, or neurodiversity understanding with these excellent free courses:

Diploma in Child Psychology : Offers a deep dive into how children think, feel, and behave—perfect for parents raising neurodiverse children. Diploma in Special Needs : Focuses on strategies for supporting children with ADHD, autism, anxiety, and more—ideal for practical insights grounded in therapeutic principles.

Both are free, self-paced, and CPD-accredited—great for building confidence and skills without committing to lengthy or costly programs. You can complete them at your own pace and apply insights directly to your parenting routine.

Combine the two for a powerful duo:

A visual planner to share the load

Foundational knowledge to support your child’s needs and your well-being

Would you like direct links to the planners or packaged course recommendations? Just comment “RESOURCES”, and I’ll DM them to you.

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Prevent the Summer Slide: Gentle Routines That Keep Kids Learning (Without Killing the Fun)

“Mumma, do I have to read today?”

It was the third time in one week my son had asked that question—with a scrunched-up nose, pencil chewed at both ends and a voice that had the distinct echo of a boy slipping quietly away from the structure.

Summer had just begun. And like many parents, I’d sighed with relief—no school rush, no homework battles, no lunchbox drama. But somewhere between the late mornings and endless screen requests, I saw something change.

My curious, chatty, story-loving son had started to avoid books. He resisted puzzles. His focus shortened. His mood? Wobbly.

That’s when I remembered what I tell the families I work with every year.

The Summer Slide is real. And if you don’t retain the learning, it slips away.

Not just facts and phonics. But routines, self-regulation, and, most importantly, confidence.

The Problem With “Too Much Free Time”

Now, don’t get me wrong—kids need downtime. They need to be bored, messy, silly, and spontaneous. But they also need predictability, especially for children who are neurodiverse.

Why? Because structure doesn’t mean restriction. It means safety.

And safety = stability = growth.

When children don’t know what to expect in a day, their brains stay on high alert. This often shows up as tantrums, withdrawal, defiance, or restlessness. When learning is absent from the daily rhythm, re-entry into school becomes a significant emotional and academic challenge.

What Most Parents Don’t Realise

Many well-meaning parents think:

“I don’t want to make summer feel like school.”

So they avoid planning.

But the structure isn’t school.

It’s a gentle rhythm that creates predictability with flexibility.

It reduces meltdowns, boosts motivation, and keeps your child connected to the joy of learning—even if it’s through water balloons and sidewalk chalk.

What Worked for Us (And Families I Work With)

We ditched the timetable and created a “Flow Chart for Fun.”

Here’s what it looked like (with pictures, not words!):

Wake-Up & Wiggles – Stretch, dance, or jump on the bed!

Fuel Up – Breakfast and chat

Brain Play – Phonics games, audiobooks, or story writing

Create – Lego, painting, junk crafts

Move Outside – Nature walk, splash pad, or biking

Chill Time – Chosen screen or audiobook

Wind Down – Puzzle, play dough, or memory games

Evening Storytime – Our sacred routine

We let Kuku pick activities from each category using choice cards. That gave him agency and minimised power struggles.

Try This: The “Summer Structure Jar”

What You’ll Need:

A jar or boxCraft sticks or folded paperMarkersYour child’s input!

Step 1: Sit with your child and brainstorm different activity categories:

MoveMakeRead/ListenThinkChill

Step 2: Write or draw 3–5 activities under each. Let your child decorate them!

Step 3: Each morning, pick one or two from each category. That’s your day’s flow.

No timers, no fixed hours—just balance.

Bonus Tip: Add a “Mystery Stick” every few days—like ice cream with Mum or a new game!

You Don’t Need to Be a Super Parent

You don’t need a Pinterest-perfect plan.

You just need to show up with intention.

Children remember rhythms, not rules. Moments, not modules.

And structure, when done with love, isn’t just about learning.

It’s about helping them feel grounded when everything else is changing—including their bodies, minds, and the long, hot days of summer.

Need a little help creating a plan that works for your unique child?:

Book a 1:1 consultation with me here

And if you try the Summer Structure Jar, tell me in the comments or tag @EducateAble—I’d love to see what your child creates!

Recommended Resources Visual Tools to Anchor Structure

Using visual schedules can make establishing a gentle routine so much easier—these are perfect for neurodiverse kids who thrive on predictability and choice:

Melissa & Doug My Magnetic Daily Calendar – A beloved 5-star visual chart with magnets to help kids build their day’s rhythm with fun icons. Beaverlab Routine Planner – A colourful visual planner with timers to balance activity choices—great for giving agency while staying grounded.

Tip: Let your child decorate or choose icons—this small choice adds significant ownership and boosts motivation.

Free Online Courses for Parents & Educators

Want to deepen your understanding of child development, play, and learning strategies? These free, self-paced courses offer practical knowledge and certified learning:

Diploma in Child Psychology & Development – Covers core stages of childhood development, attachment, temperament, and effective parenting strategies. Child Psychology – The Importance of Play – Explores how play supports cognitive, emotional, and social growth—and gives creative ideas to apply in daily rhythm.

These courses are CPD-accredited and include interactive modules, reflection exercises, and downloadable materials.

How To Use These Together

Combine a visual planner with an enriched understanding of how children learn:

Set up your visual chart and let your child help decorate it.Choose one course that interests you.Use your new insights to adjust your daily selections—maybe adding a playful learning game or emotion-checking moment.Repeat, review, and celebrate progress together.

These resources will support your efforts to prevent the Summer Slide, using a structure grounded in understanding and warmth. Let me know how they help—and I’m here if you want to dive deeper together!

The Invisible Career: Why Your Parenting Work Deserves to Be Recognised

“I used to measure my worth in job titles and paychecks… until my son taught me what real work looks like.”

I remember a particular Monday morning when my 3-year-old son was mid-meltdown because I’d peeled his banana wrong.

I had one sock on, stale tea in my hand, and a half-written children’s story in my notebook.

That day, a well-meaning friend messaged me:

“Are you planning to go back to work anytime soon?”

I wanted to laugh.

Go back to work?

I’d been working nonstop.

The Invisible Career We Build Everyday

If you’re a parent—especially to a neurodiverse child—you know this truth intimately:

Our days are filled with coaching emotional regulation, facilitating learning, anticipating triggers, and gently guiding through routine transitions.

We are behaviour strategists before breakfast, literacy coaches by lunch, and emotional support humans by bedtime.

But because none of it comes with a payslip, a promotion, or public applause—we don’t call it a career.

We call it “a break.”

A break from what, exactly?

Why We Struggle to Claim It

There’s an uncomfortable gap between what we do and what we think “counts” as professional achievement.

We’ve internalised this idea that careers must come with business cards or that anything done in stretchy pants doesn’t “count.”

We forget that soft skills—like empathy, communication, problem-solving, flexibility—aren’t smooth at all.

They’re the foundation of every successful role in the world.

If you’re helping your child navigate a tough moment without losing your cool?

That’s conflict resolution.

If you’ve turned therapy strategies into everyday habits?

That’s training and implementation.

If you’ve created bedtime stories to teach values?

That’s curriculum design.

The Career You’re Already Building

Let me gently remind you of what you might have forgotten:

You’re learning on the job.

You’re adapting to complex emotional needs.

You’re observing, tracking, and tweaking behaviour strategies.

You’re documenting patterns in your child’s mood, sleep, learning, and responses.

You’re innovating—daily.

It may not have a desk or a supervisor, but it is a career. And one with more depth, grit, and compassion than most 9-to-5s.

So… How Do You Start Claiming It?

Here’s a small activity you can try this week:

The “Invisible CV” Exercise

Take 20 minutes to sit with a notebook and write a résumé of the work you’ve done in your parenting journey.

No job titles. Just roles, tasks, and skills.

Format it like this:

Position: Emotional Regulation Coach

Key Achievements: I taught my child how to identify and label their feelings using colour-coded labels. Reduced morning meltdowns by 70%.

Position: Literacy Guide

Key Achievements: I used songs and sound cards to help my child with speech delays blend phonics into meaningful words.

Position: Behaviour Analyst

Key Achievements: Identified pattern between overstimulation at the park and post-nap irritability. Adjusted schedule for calmer transitions.

Then, read it aloud to yourself. Let it sink in.

You are not on pause.

You are in progress.

Claiming Doesn’t Mean Changing Careers

You don’t have to “pivot” into therapy or teaching (unless you want to).

But the skills you’ve honed can translate into whatever field you choose to pursue—be it writing, consulting, training, design, business, or care work.

All you need is one shift:

From “I just take care of my child.”

to

“I’ve gained deep, hands-on experience that makes me uniquely qualified.”

You Deserve To Be Seen

Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or juggling both worlds, you deserve to be seen—not just as a parent but as a professional, a learner, and a leader.

The first step isn’t a new degree or a new job.

It’s giving yourself permission to say:

“What I do matters. And I’m ready to claim it.”

Let’s Talk!

Have you ever felt like your parenting work didn’t “count”?

What’s one “job” you do every day that deserves to be on your Invisible CV?

Share it in the comments below

And if you need help translating your lived experience into a career path or just want to talk it through with someone who gets it —

Book a 1:1 session with me here

You don’t need to go back to work.

You’re already doing it.

Let’s just make sure the world knows.

Recommended Reads for ParentsThe ADHD Workbook for Parents – A practical guide offering worksheets and strategies to manage behaviours, handle homework, and advocate for your child in educational settings. Parenting ADHD Power Pack 3-in-1 Bundle – This bundle provides foolproof strategies, debunks misconceptions, and offers insights for effective ADHD management in a nurturing environment. ADHD Parents Manifesto: Evidence-based Self-Care – A guide emphasising the importance of self-care for parents, offering evidence-based strategies to maintain well-being while supporting a child with ADHD. Recommended Online Courses ADHD in Child Development – This free course helps you understand ADHD symptoms, related eating disorders, different subtypes, and treatment options, including how parenting styles can impact children with ADHD. Hyperactivity Disorder in Children – A free online course introducing the main symptoms of hyperactivity disorder, its impact on children, and strategies for working with children with ADHD at school and at home. Diploma in the Symptoms, Treatment, and Management of ADHD – An advanced-level course providing comprehensive information about ADHD, including its symptoms, treatment options, and management strategies.

Engaging with these resources can empower you with knowledge and strategies to support your child’s development and well-being while also recognising and valuing the professional skills you’ve honed as a parent. Remember, the journey you’re on is not just about caregiving; it’s about continuous learning, growth, and embracing the multifaceted role you play in both your child’s life and your own personal development.

Feel free to explore these resources and continue claiming the career you deserve. Your dedication and commitment are commendable, and you’re not alone on this path.

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Raising Safe Hearts: Breaking Toxic Relationship Patterns Before They Take Root

It began in the supermarket parking lot.

My son and I were heading to the car when we noticed a father yelling at his child. It wasn’t just the words—it was the tone, the sharpness, the tight jaw that made my little one pause.

He looked up at me and said softly,

“Maybe that boy was troubling… but it’s not cool to be shouted at like that.”

There it was—an observation, a boundary, a quiet truth from a child who sees the world a little differently and more deeply.

And yet, many children don’t voice what he did.

Because for too many, that kind of interaction is home. Normal. Expected.

The Problem: When Toxic Patterns Feel Familiar

I’ve sat across from children who laugh off being shouted at.

Who say things like:

“She gets mad because I forget.”“He only yells when he’s tired.”“It’s fine. I just stay quiet so no one gets angry.”

They’ve adapted. But not in ways that help them thrive—only survive.

And what’s even more heartbreaking?

They carry these templates into adulthood.

They learn that:

Love must be earned through pleasing.

Boundaries cause abandonment.

Safety is uncertain, and so is affection.

Where It Starts: Repeating Without Realising

We tend to think toxic patterns are about obvious things—screaming matches, slamming doors, name-calling.

But sometimes, it’s in the quieter, consistent cues:

The affection that disappears after a disagreement.The constant criticism is masked as “just being honest.”The withholding of praise unless perfection is achieved.

These patterns often stem from our own unhealed stories. And we pass them on—not out of malice, but out of habit.

The nervous system remembers. It adapts.

But here’s the good news: it can also relearn.

The Child’s Mind: How Patterns are Learned

Children don’t just listen to what we say.

They soak up what we do.

They watch how we respond when:

They cry.They mess up.They speak up.

And based on our responses, they start forming beliefs:

“I’m lovable only when I’m easy.”

“Speaking up makes people upset.”

“My needs are too much.”

These beliefs are like scripts, quietly written over time. And those scripts shape who they become, how they love, and what they tolerate.

What Can We Do Differently?

No one gets it right all the time (I certainly don’t, not even with all my degrees and training and picture books ).

But small, consistent changes in how we respond can reshape a child’s entire inner world.

Here are a few ways to start:

3 Gentle Practices to Break Toxic Cycles at Home·        Name the Emotion, Not the Person

Instead of: “You’re being bad.”

Try: “You’re feeling frustrated right now, and that’s okay. Let’s figure it out together.”

When we separate who they are from what they feel, we reduce shame and create space for growth.

·        Practice “Repair Moments”

Every time we raise our voice or overreact (yes, it happens), we can return with:

“I didn’t handle that well. You didn’t deserve to be spoken to like that.”

This teaches children that love includes accountability, not fear.

·        Model Calm Boundaries

When something isn’t okay, it’s alright to be firm without being frightened.

Try:

“I won’t let you hurt me or shout at me, but I’m right here when you’re ready to talk.”

This models emotional regulation even during conflict—and that’s gold.

An Activity to Try This Week: The “Safe Love Jar”

Place a jar in your child’s room (or somewhere visible).

Every time someone shows love in a kind, respectful way (big or small), drop a note or a pebble in.

Examples:

“Mumma gave me space when I was upset.”“We solved a fight without yelling.”“Daddy said sorry after he snapped.”

Watch the jar fill. Then, sit down together and read the notes at the end of the week.

Let your child see and feel what safe love looks like.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Behind—You’re Aware

You don’t have to undo generations in a day.

You just have to notice the moments when you could repeat the old way—and choose differently.

That’s where the healing begins.

In homes where children feel safe to make mistakes.

In relationships where love doesn’t demand perfection.

In voices that soothe instead of silence.

Tell me in the comments: What’s one belief about love or relationships you’re unlearning?

And if you’re navigating this journey and feel stuck, you’re not alone.

I’m here to help.

Book a 1:1 consultation with me here

Let’s raise emotionally stronger, safer humans—starting with ourselves.

Recommended Resources

To deepen your understanding and support healing from toxic relationship patterns, these books offer compassionate guidance—perfect for parents, educators, and self-reflection:

Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

  A heartfelt guide for recognising family dynamics passed down through generations and how to heal them. Helps adults break free and model healthier patterns for children.

Poisonous Parenting: Toxic Relationships Between Parents and Their Adult Children

  Explores how toxic cycles continue into adulthood and what it takes to shift them—useful for parents wanting to create healthier legacies for their kids.

Positive Discipline Parenting Tools

  Packed with over 49 practical strategies to reduce power struggles, improve communication, and strengthen emotional safety—essential for breaking the “yelling = control” habit.

Although there’s no dedicated course on toxic relationship patterns, the “PTSD – Cleaning and Clearing Shock & Trauma” course does explore how early experiences impact emotional patterns and responses. While not specifically parent-focused, it offers valuable insights into how trauma gets embedded—and how we can begin to release it, both in ourselves and within our families.

How to Use These ToolsStart with reflection – Choose one book that speaks to your current experience.Do the activities – Try a discipline tool or communication tip from the selected book this week.Journal the impact – Note how it changes the atmosphere with your child—or within yourself.Share and discuss – Use the comments to let the community know what resonated with you!

Ready for tailored support?

Book a 1:1 consultation with me here

Let’s work together to empower you—and your child—with tools that transform relationship patterns for good.

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You Have Now—What Comes After the Diagnosis?

The day the diagnosis came in, I thought I’d finally be able to breathe.

Instead, I found myself holding it in.

I stared at the words on the report—terms I’d googled in the dead of night, phrases whispered between teachers, things I knew in my gut but hadn’t dared to say aloud. And now, there they were. Printed. Official.

My son has ADHD.

I thought knowing would put an end to the confusion.

However, it only raised a thousand new questions.

“Do I need a special school?”

“Will he ever catch up?”

“How do I tell my family?”

“What if I mess this up?”

There’s something nobody prepares you for: the hollow silence after the label.

You’re expected to get into action. To fix. To learn. To move.

But inside, your heart is screaming: “You have now… what?”

The Problem Most Parents Don’t Talk About

As a parent who’s been through this—you’d think I had all the tools. And I do, technically.

But what parents need first isn’t a therapy plan. It’s a breath. A pause. A reset.

They need to realise your child hasn’t changed.

Only your awareness has.

And that’s where the magic begins.

Because now, you can finally begin to understand what they’ve been trying to show you all along.

Here’s What Helped Me (And the Parents I Work With)Anchor in the Present

   The brain races ahead: high school, jobs, college, rejection, “What if he never…?”

   Breathe. Come back to today.

   Did your child smile today? Try something new? Get through a meal without a meltdown? That’s where you start.

Create a ‘Now Map’

   Instead of a long-term plan, jot down 3 areas you want to focus on this month:

Emotions (e.g., fewer outbursts)Routine (e.g., smoother mornings)Connection (e.g., 10 minutes of playtime daily)

   These are manageable, measurable, and meaningful.

Watch Before You Fix

   Instead of rushing to correct, take a week to simply observe.

   What lights them up? When do they shut down?

   Keep a soft log like:

“Monday: Had a meltdown when asked to stop TV. Tuesday: Calmer when given a 5-minute warning.”These small insights are gold.Let Play Lead

   Children speak in play, not plans.

   So whether it’s block towers or made-up songs, enter their world.

   You’ll be surprised what they show you when you stop trying to lead the way.

Try This: The “Now Jar” [image error]

A potent, simple activity to ground your parenting in the present.

What you need: A clean jar, a few strips of paper, and a pen.

Every evening, write down one thing that went well.

“He brushed his teeth without a reminder.”“She told me she was sad instead of crying.”“I stayed calm during a tough moment.”

On hard days, open the jar. Read a few.

Let those small wins remind you that progress is happening, even if it’s quiet.

You Have Now. What?

Now… you begin.

Not by rushing. Not by fixing. But by noticing.

By being present, playful, and patient.

Because now is the only place your child truly exists.

And that’s precisely where they need you to be.

Need help building your “now map”? Let’s walk through it together.

Book a 1:1 consultation with me here

Tell me in the comments—what does your “now” look like today?

Recommended Resources·       Calming & Focus Tools

Practical sensory tools can help your child regulate emotions, focus, and feel calmer during transitions and challenges.

Silicone Sensory Activity Board

  A mess-free fidget board your child can quietly explore with fingers—great for self-regulation and grounding moments.

Liquid Motion Bubbler Timer (Pack of 3)

  Visually calming and portable, these timers offer soothing movement—ideal for setting time limits or calming before transitions.

Having one or two of these in your toolkit offers a tangible way to support small “now” moments of calm and focus.

·       Free Online Courses

Strengthen your understanding and confidence with self-paced, no-cost courses designed for parents and professionals.

ADHD in Child Development

  Explores symptoms, subtypes, and non-medical support strategies—perfect for mapping your own “Now Map” with newfound clarity.

Hyperactivity Disorder in Children

  Delve into signs, school‑home strategies, and behaviour approaches that align well with what we’ve discussed in the blog.

Diploma in the Symptoms, Treatment & Management of ADHD

  A more in-depth, certificate-style course is ideal for individuals seeking a comprehensive understanding of the impact of ADHD and effective strategies for managing it.

All courses are free to enrol and study, with optional certification available.

How to Use These ToolsPair a sensory tool with your “Now Jar”: On tough evenings, let your child choose a fidget or timer, write their small win, and celebrate together.Study a course module over a weekend, then discuss one insight with your child or co-parent.Bridge course and play: After learning a calming strategy in a module, turn it into a playful routine—like a 3-minute “calm-down corner” with the bubbler.

These aren’t magic fixes—but trim, intentional options to carry your “now” forward with confidence.

If you’d like help integrating any of these into your child’s routine—or want personalised support?

Book a 1:1 consultation here

Which resource speaks to you today? Drop a comment below!

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