Namita Das's Blog, page 4

Shadow Teaching Made Simple: Free Tools and Strategies for Inclusive Classrooms

Ever felt like you’re juggling twenty roles in one busy classroom… and still unsure what tools you really need?

A Classroom Story That Feels Like Home

Picture this: you walk into class, hoping today will be smoother. There’s the child with ADHD needing constant redirecting, the child with sensory sensitivities melting down over a blinking light, and everyone else trying to stay engaged. You find yourself thinking, “If only I had a clear playbook, something simple, reliable, and crafted by people who truly get it.”

That feeling of overwhelm is real. And if you’re a shadow teacher, teaching assistant, or educator supporting neurodiverse learners, you’re no stranger to it. You want tangible support strategies, not just theory and accessible resources, and free from jargon. You need something that says: this is for you, and yes, it works.

Introducing the Free Alison Course That Changes Everything

At EducateAble, we saw this need. That’s why “Introduction to Shadow Teaching and Inclusive Education for Beginners” is now live on Alison, completely free.

This course is not about overwhelm, it’s about empowerment:

It walks you through what inclusive education really means.You’ll learn the role of shadow teaching, the ethics and essential boundaries to keep relationships healthy.It gives practical tools: visual aids, behaviour management, meltdown de-escalation techniques, and engaging peer support systems.

In just 1.5–3 hours, you gain CPD-accredited training designed to build confidence, not overcomplicate your day.

Enrol Now!Why It Resonates So DeeplyIt’s made for people who are in the trenches, you’re in the room, you see what needs shifting, and this course meets you there.Think human, not academic, covers real classroom tactics, not theory hidden behind technical terms.It’s free and truly accessible, with no barriers or fees. Just practical learning when you need it.

People experience anxiety trying to ‘do inclusion right’, and wonder: “Will I ever know enough?” This course tackles that head-on, with tools that feel doable, familiar, and instantly usable.

Takeaways You Can Use TodayVisual supports like schedules and social stories help children with autism or ADHD feel grounded.Peer-mediated strategies invite classmates to support rather than isolate.Meltdown handling plans give educators step-by-step calm-down routes that preserve dignity.

Each tip is meant to de-escalate chaos and help you bring in connection.

Humorous and True Classroom Moments

Let’s be honest, some days, providing shadow support feels like being an undercover ninja clad in patience. There’s the kid who only wants to line up pencil shavings, the peer who becomes the “Secret Clipboard Guard,” and the moment when you coordinate three schedules, a sensory box, and a meltdown exit with the precision of air traffic control.

And nothing says “you’re officially a shadow teacher” quite like whispering “not yet,” for the third time in five minutes, to a child waving a paper aeroplane. But alongside that, humour is genuine compassion, and this course helps channel both into practical action.

What’s Next?Enrol now, go to Alison and search for Introduction to Shadow Teaching and Inclusive Education for Beginners or click here.Complete the modules in just a few hours to gain fundamental, usable strategies and optional certification.Share this post with colleagues, assistants, and parents who feel stuck; if they think “this is literally me,” they’ll need it too.Recommended Resources: Books & Courses That Complement the Learning Books:A-Z of Special Needs by Jacquie Buttriss – a go-to reference for understanding a wide range of conditions. The Effective Teaching Assistant: A Practical Guide to Supporting Achievement for Pupils with SEND – full of strategies assistants can use day to day. Psychology for Teaching Assistants offers updated insights into child development, behaviour, and support techniques. Special Educational Needs for Newly Qualified Teachers and Teaching Assistants : A Practical Orientation for Starting the Role Strong. Additional Courses: Special Education: Shadow Teaching dives deeper into shadow roles, communication skills, boundaries, and technology use. Special Needs School Shadow Support focuses on inclusion models, behaviour management, and peer support in inclusive settings.Final Thoughts

This moment isn’t about adding more to your plate. It’s about finding the right tools to bring clarity when you’re overwhelmed. It’s about turning confusion into confidence. It’s about real support made shareable and straightforward, because the world of shadow teaching and inclusive education is better when we learn together.

Take the course. Share this post. Let’s make every child feel seen and every educator feel supported.

When “Take a Deep Breath” Isn’t Enough: How to Actually Help a Dysregulated Child Regulate

“Breathe in. Breathe out.”Doesn’t sound so hard until you’re saying it in the middle of a meltdown.

You know those moments.

The classroom’s loud, a chair scrapes too sharply, someone bumps into your student or your child, and suddenly everything unravels.

You go calm. You try the classic:

“Take a deep breath.”

And they try.

You can see them trying.

But the breath doesn’t land.

The storm doesn’t pass.

And now you’re both left feeling like you’ve failed.

That was me.

And sometimes, still is.

My son is 8. He has ADHD. He’s bright, funny, and full of spark.

He also has a nervous system that doesn’t always process overwhelm with logic.

And even though he tries to breathe with me sometimes beautifully, there are moments when I watch his little shoulders stay tense. His breath was shallow. His system is still on high alert.

That’s when I stopped treating “deep breathing” as the magic fix and started understanding regulation as a whole-body experience.

The Problem: We Start with the Head

Regulation doesn’t start with instructions.

It starts with safety, rhythm, and connection.

When a child is dysregulated, their thinking brain is offline. They’re in fight, flight, or freeze.

They can’t follow the steps.

They won’t respond to reasoning.

And they absolutely won’t relax just because you said, “It’s okay, calm down.”

(And to be honest, how many adults actually calm down when someone tells them to calm down?)

So What Works Instead?

Let’s talk about what’s worked in my home and what I teach the shadow teachers and educators I work with.

1.      Side-by-Side Breathing (Not Direct Instruction)

Instead of saying “take a deep breath,” I do it beside him.

No talking. Just modelling.

I slow my breathing. Sometimes I add a hand gesture or sway. And sometimes… he joins me at his own pace.

2.      Rhythm is Everything

The nervous system responds to rhythm.

That means:

Tapping a gentle beat on a table or your lapRocking in a chairSwaying side to sideHumming a steady tune

Rhythm bypasses the thinking brain and speaks directly to the body.

3.      Visual Cues Ground the MomentA pinwheelA bubble wandYour hand is moving like a wave

These visual rhythms help anchor attention outside of the overwhelm and into something predictable.

4.      Movement Before Stillness

Trying to make a child “sit still and breathe” when they’re dysregulated is like trying to fold a fitted sheet mid-tornado.

Let them bounce on a yoga ball, jump in place, and run laps if needed.

Movement is the bridge to calm.

Here’s the thing I want you to remember:

It’s not about fixing the meltdown.

It’s about regulating together.

It’s about understanding that connection comes first.

And sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is sit beside a child, breathe slowly, and offer your calm rhythm, not your words.

So next time a child is overwhelmed, ask yourself:What rhythm can I offer right now?What movement might their body be craving?How can I stop leading with instructions and start leading with presence?

You don’t need to be perfect.

You just need to be in sync.

Want help creating a regulation toolbox that works for your child or student?

If you’re a parent, educator, or shadow teacher and you’re tired of guesswork, I offer personalised support.

Book a 1:1 consultation with me here

If you’ve ever whispered “just breathe” and felt like it wasn’t enough, share this with someone who gets it. Leave a comment below with your go-to rhythm tool. Your story might help someone else find their calm.

Recommended Tools & Courses Practical Rhythm & Sensory Tools

These products support the rhythm‑based regulation strategies described above. Each one offers tactile, visual, or movement-based sensory input, which can support regulation better than verbal instruction alone:

Silicone busy boards or sensory activity boards , like double‑sided fidget boards, offer tactile and visual rhythm you can tap into during breath‑sync sessions. Liquid motion bubblers or timers (like the Livond 3‑pack) create a slow visual rhythm that can anchor attention during dysregulation moments.A Mindfulness Labyrinth breathing tool helps children feel a visual path as they breathe, turning breath into a watching rhythm rather than just an instruction. Compression ‘body sock’ or sensory sox , offering deep pressure proprioceptive support that can calm the nervous system before or alongside rhythm cues.

These tools can help anchor regulation moments and provide sensory input that rhythm and breath alone may not offer.

Free Course: Child Development: Self‑Regulation

A free online course titled “Child Development: Self‑Regulation” that explores emotional, attentional, and behavioural self‑regulation in early childhood. It breaks down theoretical foundations (like Vygotsky) and practical strategies for supporting self‑control in children, ideal for shadow teachers, teaching assistants, and parents.

Suppose you’re looking to expand your understanding of how self-regulation develops and how environments and routines contribute. In that case, this course is a solid foundation and accessible at no cost.

Why These HelpSensory tools like fidget boards or motion bubblers translate rhythm into something a dysregulated nervous system can see and feel, making regulation less abstract and more accessible in real time.The course connects theory to practice, offering educators and parents language and frameworks to support growth in self‑control and emotional resilience over time.

Add these to your toolkit: combine movement or sensory rhythm tools with co‑regulated breathing, and deepen your practice by engaging with structured learning around emotional regulation.

Want help choosing tools that fit your child’s or classroom needs or customising a rhythm‑based toolkit?

Book a 1:1 consultation here

Meltdowns Are Not Misbehaviour: Understanding the Nervous System in Seconds

“She just started screaming out of nowhere!”

The teacher whispered it as if it were a secret.

The other kids stared. One laughed.

And there she was on the floor, hands over ears, crying, gasping, fighting air itself.

If you’ve ever stood in that moment, frozen, helpless, thinking “What did I miss?”

You’re not alone.

And more importantly, you didn’t miss it.

You were just taught to look for the wrong things.

The 30 Seconds That Always Get Ignored

Here’s the thing about meltdowns:

They rarely start when they start.

By the time a child is yelling, throwing, kicking, or shutting down, the overwhelm has already boiled over.

But the signs? They were there. Quiet. Small. Easy to miss.

Maybe it was the buzzing light in the corridor.

Maybe their shoelace felt “too tight”, but they didn’t know how to say it.

Maybe it was the maths worksheet with 40 problems when they still hadn’t processed breakfast.

It adds up tiny stressors, stacking like invisible bricks.

Then one more little thing happens.

You hand them the “wrong” colour glue stick.

And suddenly, the volcano erupts.

Meltdowns Aren’t Manipulation. They’re Nervous System Overload.

We’re wired to see behaviour and label it as either “good” or “bad.”

But behaviour is communication, especially for children who are neurodivergent.

Meltdowns aren’t power plays. They’re the body saying:

“I’ve had enough. I can’t keep pretending I’m okay.”

In those critical seconds, the part of the brain responsible for logic and language, the prefrontal cortex, goes offline.

This isn’t drama. It’s biology.

You wouldn’t punish a child for sneezing during a dust allergy.

So why punish a child for “acting out” when their nervous system is allergic to overwhelm?

The Iceberg We Keep Missing

What most people see:

LoudInappropriateDisruptive

What’s actually happening underneath:

Sensory overloadEmotional floodingCognitive fatigueFear of failureLack of safety

It’s the classic iceberg.

And too often, shadow teachers, educators, and even well-meaning parents are handed buckets and told, “Fix the splash.”

But real support means cooling the waters underneath.

A Personal Story I’ll Never Forget

My son, who is 8 now, once melted down in a café because they didn’t have the exact cup he liked.

Other customers glared.

One woman muttered, “Some parents just don’t discipline their kids anymore.”

But what they didn’t see was the whole morning:

The sensory overload of the mall.

The last-minute change in plans.

The itchy tag in his t-shirt.

And the fact that he’d already used up every ounce of coping energy just to make it to the table.

The meltdown wasn’t the problem.

The meltdown was the result of a system that kept expecting him to perform as if none of that mattered.

What Helps in That Moment?

We don’t need magic tools.

We need a human connection.

Here’s what helps me and what I guide other educators and shadow teachers to do:

Pause your own panic. Your calm is their anchor.Don’t talk. Regulate first. Use presence, not lectures.Reduce input. Lower lights, volume, crowd.Support recovery, not control. No shame, no consequences.Debrief when calm. Not with “What was that about?” but “That was hard. I’m here now.”

And most importantly:

Assume they’re doing the best they can.

Because they are.

You’re Not Alone. And You’re Not Doing It Wrong.

If no one’s ever told you this:

You’re not a bad teacher.

You’re not a failing parent.

You’re someone doing the hard, unseen work of understanding kids who aren’t always easy to understand.

This isn’t about fixing children.

It’s about unlearning what the world told us about “good behaviour”

and learning how to listen to what’s underneath.

If this blog made you think of your classroom, or your child…

Please share it. Let someone else know they’re not alone either.

And if you need support navigating these moments, I’m here.

Book a 1:1 consultation with meRecommended Tools & Learning ResourcesSensory Support Tools

To help prevent or soothe meltdowns before they escalate, here are affordable sensory tools you can easily add to your toolkit:

Livond Calming Sensory Toys 3‑Pack Liquid Motion Bubblers : These liquid-timer bubblers offer mesmerising visual input and a two-minute calming sensory break. Handy for at‑desk use or quick transitions, especially when a child’s nervous system needs a predictable pause. Sensory4u Body Sack (Medium Body Sock) : A stretchy, snug body pod that delivers deep-pressure proprioceptive input like a sensory hug. It’s beneficial to use during high‑stress moments or transitions to calm the nervous system before it hits overload.

These can be kept in shrine kits, ready to go for momentary dysregulation, especially helpful for shadow teachers or educators working with neurodiverse children in noisy or unpredictable environments.

Free Courses (Ideal for Shadow Teachers & Educators)

To deepen your understanding and practical skills in supporting neurodiverse children, consider enrolling in these free online courses from  :

Special Needs School Shadow Support : Learn how to provide one‑on‑one support in a school setting for children with autism and ADHD. Covers managing meltdowns, using visual supports, peer inclusion strategies, and creating inclusive environments, all in just 1.5–3 hours with CPD accreditation available. Introduction to Developmental Disorders : Broad training on autism, ADHD, life‑skills teaching, and techniques for handling meltdowns and routines, ideal for educators and parents wanting a foundational overview with practical tools.

Book Review: Never Binge Again™ by Glenn Livingston, Ph.D

I bring a multifaceted lens to mental health and behaviour change, especially when it comes to habits that feel hard to break, like binge eating. Glenn Livingston’s Never Binge Again is a rare gem in this space. It combines clinical insight with practical, compassionate tools for those struggling to regain control over their eating.

Personal Reflection:

I used to binge eat myself. Deep down, bingeing felt like a brief escape, freedom and fun wrapped up in a moment of “giving up” control. Food rules and lists of “don’ts” felt like barriers that sucked the joy out of eating and living. But this book helped me reframe the internal dialogue that fuels bingeing. I began to hear that voice not as a source of freedom but as a controlling saboteur, a nagging “Pig” in my mind, trying to trick me into relapse. Realising this was empowering, like choosing not to spend time with toxic people, I decided not to listen to that voice.

Why This Book Stands Out:

Unlike many diet books, Never Binge Again is not about restrictive rules or shame. It’s about understanding the psychological dynamics behind binge eating, particularly the compulsive “Pig” self versus the healthy “You.” The book employs humour, particularly in the personification of the “Pig,” to make a challenging subject approachable and even enjoyable. Its interactive style pulls you in and keeps you engaged, which is critical for sustained change.

Practical and Empowering:

Raising a child with ADHD, I appreciate clear, straightforward strategies that respect individual differences. This book offers exactly that: a flexible framework where you create your own “food plan” tailored to your life, rather than a one-size-fits-all diet. The techniques encourage mindful awareness and cognitive reframing skills that align well with evidence-based therapies, including ABA principles, without feeling clinical or punitive.

Lasting Impact:

I’m now weeks into applying the principles, and the relief is profound. Cravings are fewer and easier to manage, and I feel calmer, not just around food, but overall. The book’s approach doesn’t just reduce binge urges; it restores energy, reduces guilt, and improves mood. For parents and professionals alike, this is a vital reminder that changing habits is as much about kindness and insight as it is about discipline.

For Whom Is This Book?

If you’re struggling with binge eating or know someone who is, I wholeheartedly recommend Never Binge Again. It’s motivational, relatable, and practical. The book doesn’t promise quick fixes but offers a real system for sustainable change, one that empowers you to listen to your true self, not the “Pig.” For those who have tried diets before and failed, this may be just the fresh start you need.

Final Thought:

I respect Dr. Livingston’s courage in sharing his personal journey and translating psychology into a user-friendly guide. It’s one of the few books I’ve encountered that combines science, self-compassion, and humour with actionable advice. This book saved me from feeling powerless and helped me regain control over my life. It can save others, too.

Productivity Isn’t Linear: What a Dysregulated Brain Needs First

“He’s not lazy. He’s in survival mode.”

That’s what I wish more teachers, shadow educators, and well-meaning relatives understood.

Because here’s the truth:

You can’t plan your way out of a dysregulated brain.

You can colour-code the routine, time every task, promise a reward, and even rehearse the morning steps like a Broadway musical. Still, when a child’s brain isn’t ready, it just isn’t.

I know this because I’ve experienced it firsthand.

The Morning That Taught Me Everything

One school morning, everything was ready.

Lunch packed. Bag zipped. Clothes laid out the night before. The alarm was set early.

Victory, right?

Except my son stood in the hallway with one sock in his hand, staring at the floor like it had betrayed him.

“What’s up?” I asked, trying not to sound rushed.

He shrugged. Then whispered, “My brain’s too loud to find the other sock.”

And just like that, the schedule crumbled.

The Invisible Storm

From the outside, it looked like a small act of defiance.

From the inside? It was a brain overwhelmed by noise, texture, light, thoughts, and emotions — a full sensory hurricane.

But here’s what I’ve learned (and re-learned):

A dysregulated brain isn’t complex. It’s asking for help.

Not always with words, sometimes through stillness, delay, withdrawal, or what appears to be “not trying.”

So Why Do We Keep Pushing Productivity First?

Because we’re wired to think of learning, focus, and compliance as indicators of success.

But for many neurodivergent children, connection and regulation are the actual starting points.

Before they can write the sentence, they need to feel safe.

Before they can pack their bag, they need their nervous system to stop sounding alarms.

Before they can “pay attention,” they need someone to sit beside them and simply say  

“I see you. You’re okay. We’ll start when you’re ready.”

What a Dysregulated Brain Needs First

Here’s what I’ve learned to offer instead of urgency:

Presence before performance

  Sometimes sitting quietly beside them says more than a motivational speech ever will.

Permission to pause

  A short break, a deep breath, or a silly game can create the space they need to reset and return.

Predictability and prep time

  Advance warnings, visual schedules, or even just saying “Five more minutes till socks” can help reduce surprises.

Play as a pathway

  When regulation feels impossible, play can become the bridge. We’ve turned races to the bathroom into gecko sprints and maths worksheets into dinosaur challenges.

Compassion over compliance

  On tough days, I remind myself he’s not choosing to struggle. And I don’t need to select struggle in return.

The Real Productivity Wins

Some days, productivity looks like finishing a workbook page.

Other days, it’s brushing teeth without a meltdown.

The world may not count that as a win. But suppose you’re a shadow teacher, a parent, or an educator walking this journey with a neurodivergent child. In that case, you know that a win is huge.

So here’s what I hope we all remember:

Productivity isn’t linear. But growth?

That shows up in the smallest, bravest, quietest steps.

Have you ever felt stuck between meltdown and motivation?

Share your story in the comments; your moment might just be what someone else needs to feel seen.

And if you’re a teacher, parent, or shadow educator needing guidance on routines, regulation, or anything in between

Book a 1:1 consultation with me here

Let’s make space for slow. For messy. For humans.

Recommended Courses & Resources

To support the journey from regulation to productivity, here are some free, high-quality courses and tools you can explore:

1.      Child Development: Self-Regulation

A foundational course that explores how emotional, attentional, and behavioural regulation develops in children. It offers practical strategies such as play-based approaches and environmental structuring that align directly with helping dysregulated brains find safety before achieving productivity.

2.      Introduction to ADHD Awareness

Ideal for educators, shadow teachers, and parents, this course explains ADHD traits, effective non-pharmacological supports, and how to create a calm, supportive environment at home or school.

3.      Special Needs School Shadow Support

A targeted course for anyone working one-on-one with neurodivergent children. It offers hands-on strategies for managing overwhelm, visual supports, meltdown prevention, and promoting inclusion, making it ideal for introducing regulation-first methods into educational settings.

Why These MatterDirect connection to regulation: These courses teach practical, evidence-based techniques for supporting emotional and sensory needs, rather than expecting compliance or performance.Free & accessible: Open-enrollment and completely free, with optional certificates if you’re aiming to enhance your professional credentials.Tailored for your context: Whether you’re a shadow teacher, parent, or caregiver, these are designed to cater to real-world caregiving and teaching situations. Take the Next StepWatch one course module this week and try implementing one small insight, such as a visual prompt or a regulatory break.Reflect on the changes you notice in your child’s readiness, mood, or ability to transition between tasks.

These resources are not simply academic; they’re designed to empower you with practical tools rooted in connection-first approaches. Add these to your personal toolkit, and let them support the very beginning of your productivity journey: regulation, connection, and emotional safety.

Suppose you’d like guidance on choosing the right course or applying these strategies in your situation. In that case, you can:

book a 1:1 consultation here

Together, let’s continue to make learning safe, human, and truly growth-focused.

Why ‘Just Try Harder’ Doesn’t Work: Understanding Executive Dysfunction (and Why It’s Not About Willpower)

“If he can focus during Minecraft, why not on his homework?”

That question. It echoes through schools, homes, WhatsApp groups, and sometimes, in my own head.

Let me tell you what happened last Tuesday morning.

I called out, “Time to get dressed!”

There was silence. Then some muffled noises.

I walked in.

There he was. My son. Deep in a full-blown PJ Masks mission. Catboy, Gekko and Owlette were in a dramatic rescue, involving a pencil box, my hairbrush, and some kitchen tongs.

His school uniform was untouched.

Bag half-packed.

Shoes are in opposite corners of the room.

Toothbrush? Probably on an adventure of its own.

And no, this wasn’t him being naughty.

This was executive dysfunction.

So, what is Executive Dysfunction… really?

Imagine your brain is a whiteboard. Executive function is the part that lets you plan, organise, remember instructions, and shift between tasks.

Now imagine that whiteboard constantly smudging itself. The pen skips. Someone keeps erasing bits mid-thought. That’s what it’s like for many neurodivergent individuals.

They know what to do.

They want to do it.

But the sequence doesn’t connect.

The transition from “I should get dressed” to “I am now fully dressed” isn’t a straight line.

It’s more like:

“I should get dressed”

“Where are my socks?”“Oh, that’s my action figure under the bed!”“Wait, I never finished that mission last night!”“What were we talking about again?”Why ‘Just Try Harder’ Fails Every Time

Here’s the thing. Telling someone with executive dysfunction to “just try harder” is like telling someone with a broken leg to “just run faster.”

We often see motivation as the problem.

But motivation is not the issue.

The initiation, sequencing, and follow-through are.

Kids with ADHD, autism, learning differences or even just anxiety often want to do well. They may try harder than most. And still, their day can fall apart by 8:15 AM.

And no, rewarding them with stars or punishing them with guilt doesn’t fix the fog in their brain. It only makes them feel more broken.

So, What Helps Instead?

Here’s what works in my home, my sessions, and in classrooms I support:

Chunk the task: “Get dressed” becomes “Put on your shirt. Now your trousers. Now your socks.”Add visuals: a checklist, a humorous drawing, or a sticky note on the door.Use play: We turn dressing into a race. Or sometimes, I pretend to be a talking shoe, urging him to wear me.Prep in advance: Mornings are smoother when decisions are made the night before.Allow for movement: Fidgeting, pacing, and even talking to oneself are often how they process steps internally.Be their co-regulator: When their mind spirals, don’t push them off the cliff. Sit beside them on the edge.Let’s Rethink What ‘Support’ Really Means

Shadow teachers, educators, parents, this isn’t about fixing a child. It’s about understanding how their brain works. When we shift the lens from compliance to connection, magic happens.

Let’s not ask, “Why can’t they do this?”

Let’s ask, “What’s getting in the way and how can I make the path easier?”

Because when we drop the “just try harder” narrative,

We make space for something far more powerful:

“Let me help.”

Have you experienced this with your student, child, or even yourself?

Share your story in the comments. Let’s turn this into a space where we get honest about the invisible struggles and how we can show up better.

Do you need personal guidance for your child, your classroom, or yourself?

Book a 1:1 consultation with me here Recommended Resources to Support Executive Function Executive Functioning Workbook for Kids: A Fun Adventure with Bora the Space Cat

This engaging workbook guides children aged 9–12 through an illustrated space-mission storyline, teaching them how to plan, prioritise, break down goals, and manage time —key skills for executive function. Its interactive format and gentle prompts align perfectly with the “chunking tasks” and “making it playful” advice shared earlier.

ADHD Workbook for Kids 8–12: ADHD Planner for Kids

Packed with skill-building activities, goal-setting pages, and reflective journaling, this planner-style workbook provides structure and self-awareness tools for kids navigating ADHD, supporting the visual checklist and co-regulation strategies mentioned above.

Brain Training for Kids with ADHD: 101 Fun Exercises and Logic Puzzles

This collection of entertaining puzzles and games is designed to enhance focus, working memory, and self-regulation in neurodiverse children, providing an easy way to incorporate brief brain breaks into daily routines.

Free Online Course Recommendation

Self-Paced Comfort: “The Pathways of Anxiety”

While not specific to executive function, this free course explores how anxiety can interfere with planning, attention, and emotional regulation —the very skills we aim to strengthen. Understanding the impact of anxiety on the brain provides insight into why even the best-structured plans may fall apart and how to support kids through those moments.

How to Use These ToolsResourceSupports Which StrategyHow to ApplyWorkbook with visual planningChunking & visual cuesUse sheets to break down morning routines or homework tasksADHD plannerSelf-regulation & reflectionEncourage your child to journal the day’s wins and next stepsPuzzle bookExecutive function warm-upsBuild focus before starting tasks or as a calming toolAnxiety courseUnderstanding emotional barriersWatch together and discuss how feelings affect motivation

By integrating fun tools, structured routines, and emotional insight, you’re not just telling a child to “try harder”; you’re equipping them with the skills to actually get started, stay on track, and feel supported every step of the way.

“Not Today”: Teaching Kids to Handle No Without Meltdowns or Mayhem

You said no.

And now you’re watching the emotional equivalent of a category 5 hurricane unfold.

The toy aisle has become the focal point. The meltdown is public. You’re flustered, your child is in distress, and someone just muttered, “In my day…” under their breath.

Sound familiar?

You’re not a bad parent, teacher or shadow teacher.

Your child isn’t “too sensitive.”

What you’re witnessing is what happens when a young brain, especially a neurodivergent one, encounters unexpected disappointment. And no one has told it how to cope.

The Day I Said No to a Toy

I didn’t plan on saying no. It just happened.

We were walking past a local shop. My son saw a bright, blinking toy in the window, the kind that looks like it was designed by a committee of sugar-rushed YouTubers.

He wanted it now. Not later. Not on his birthday. Now.

When I calmly said, “Not today,” he froze.

It took a few seconds, and then: frustration, tears, that heartbreaking, “But you never let me have anything,” followed by the inevitable floor slump.

And I realised this wasn’t just about a toy.

This was about a mind that hadn’t rehearsed disappointment.

He’d imagined getting it, playing with it, maybe even showing it to a friend. In his head, it was already his.

So my “No” felt like theft.

Why ‘No’ Feels So Big for Neurodivergent Kids

Children with ADHD, autism, or other neurodivergent profiles often experience the world with heightened intensity. A simple change in routine or a denied request can spiral into a flood of big feelings.

Why? Because they live in a world that often feels unpredictable and out of their control.

A “No” is more than a limit; it’s a reminder of powerlessness.

And when we don’t prepare them for that possibility, we’re expecting resilience where we’ve built none.

Here’s What I Tried and What Started to Work

Instead of springing a no on him like a surprise twist in a plot, I began using what I now call “Expectation Warm-Ups.”

Before entering a shop:

“We’re only browsing today, not buying. Let’s make a list of things we like for later.”

Before a playdate:

“If they say no to sharing their toy, what can we do instead?”

Before dinner:

“We may not have your favourite today, but let’s pick a snack to look forward to after.”

It’s like giving the brain a cushion. So when disappointment lands, it doesn’t bruise as hard.

This isn’t about manipulation or over-explaining. It’s about training the brain to pause, to shift, to find Plan B without panicking.

Fundamental Tools for Real-Life’ No’s

Here are a few things that help my clients (and my son):

The “Not Now” Shelf:

   Let kids draw or write what they want and place it on a wishlist. It creates a sense of “later” instead of “never.”

Role Reversals:

   In play, let your child say “no” to you. Let them watch you handle it well. It gives them a model for what’s possible.

Pre-game the No:

   Prep them when they’re not emotionally invested. Like, “Sometimes we can’t buy things we want. What can we do instead?”

Name the Feeling, Not the Behaviour:

   “I can see you’re really disappointed,” lands better than “Stop crying.”

Praise the Pause:

   When your child handles a no better than before, even slightly acknowledge it:

   “I saw you take a deep breath when I said no. That’s tough. I’m proud of you.”

It’s Not About Saying Yes More. It’s About Helping Them Handle No Better.

Learning to cope with “No” is a life skill. It sets kids up for moments where friends cancel plans, projects get rejected, or life simply says “Not today.”

We don’t need to shield them from every disappointment.

We need to give them tools to meet it with grace, creativity, and self-control.

It starts with us.

With that one deep breath. That one prep conversation. That one chance to say:

“I believe you can handle this.”

Need help figuring out how to support your neurodivergent child or student through emotional ups and downs?

Let’s talk.

Book a 1:1 consultation with me hereRecommended Resources to Support “Expectation Warm-Ups”

To help you deepen your understanding and skills in emotional preparation and resilience building, here are some excellent free courses you can take at your own pace:

1.      Emotional Intelligence in Early Childhood 

A deep dive into recognising, managing, and teaching emotions, empathy, and social skills, perfect for shadow teachers, parents, and educators working on emotional resilience in young children.

2.      Child Development: Self‑Regulation 

Explores how children learn to delay gratification, manage impulses, and build self-control, all of which are fundamental to handling disappointment. Based on Vygotsky’s theory, this one aligns beautifully with prepping for “No.”

3.      Child Development: Play Therapy  

Suppose you’re using play or art to rehearse emotional responses. In that case, this course explains how structured play can support emotional growth and coping strategies.

4.      Early Childhood Anger Management 

Helps adults understand the roots of tantrums and frustration, offering practical techniques like naming feelings or guided breathing to support children through “No” moments.

Why These MatterNo Cost, Big Impact: Free courses with certifications help you level up as a parent, teacher, or professional without spending a dime.Research-Backed Techniques: Learn proven strategies you can immediately use, like framing expectations, naming emotions, and practising pause responses.Empowerment Through Learning: When we understand why children struggle with “No,” we can better support their emotional muscles and build trust.How to Use ThemCourseUse It ToEmotional Intelligence in Early ChildhoodUnderstand the emotion behind the meltdownSelf‑RegulationBuild pause-and-plan skills through step-by-step trainingPlayCreate rehearsal scenarios through games and storytelling.Anger ManagementRespond to frustrations without escalating the emotional stakes.

Next Steps: 

Pick one or two courses that speak to your current challenges and go through them over a few evenings. 

Then, share back: what insights were compelling? What surprised you?

And if you’d like direct support in translating these ideas into your child’s daily life, whether at home or in the classroom, I offer tailored one-on-one consultations.

Book a session with me here

By combining lived experience, reflective practice, and trusted learning, we’re not just saying “No”, we’re saying “Yes” to building lifelong resilience.

Social Scripts vs Real Conversations: What Actually Works?

“Say hi, smile, ask how they are.”

We drilled it. We practised it in the car, in the kitchen, even with stuffed animals.

And when the moment came?

He said, “Hi”… and froze.

Nod. Blink. Fidget.

Conversation? Gone.

So let’s talk honestly about something that gets quietly passed around in every IEP meeting,   session, and parent WhatsApp group: social scripts.

Helpful? Sometimes.

Realistic? Rarely.

The full picture? Not even close.

When Scripts Fall Short

Social scripts are often handed out as if they were magic formulas.

“Just follow these steps and your child will know what to say.”

And sure, they can be a great starting point. Especially when a child is overwhelmed by the unpredictability of social situations.

But here’s what most professionals and caregivers won’t admit upfront:

Scripts don’t always translate into confidence. Or connection.

Because honest conversations aren’t predictable.

They’re messy. Awkward. Full of missed cues and strange replies.

And if you’ve worked with or loved a neurodivergent child, you know that sticking to a script can sometimes feel more stressful than speaking at all.

My Son, the ‘One-Word Responder’

When my son was younger, his go-to social strategy was silence or one-word replies, which he would use if he felt brave.

I remember watching him at a school gathering. Another child waved and said, “Hi!”

He whispered “Hi” back… then immediately turned away, eyes locked on a leaf on the floor.

No follow-up. No smile.

Just hi.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk.

He simply didn’t know how to carry it forward.

And the well-rehearsed script we practised at home? It was too rigid, too rehearsed, too… unreal.

Because life doesn’t cue you like a school play.

So What Does Actually Work?

I’ll be honest, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. But here’s what I’ve found helpful across   rooms, classrooms, and dinner tables:

1.      Build from Comfort, Not Performance

Instead of pushing kids to “perform” the perfect conversation, start by building genuine comfort around people. A relaxed body, a safe space, and a feeling of being seen matter more than memorised lines.

2.      Practice Flexibility, Not Perfection

Play “what if” games.

What if someone says something unexpected? What if you forget what to say next?

Use storytelling, puppets, or role-play to explore unpredictable social twists. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s adaptability.

3.      Teach Turn-Taking Through Play

Board games, improv games, and even silly rhyming challenges naturally teach turn-taking and responsiveness. They also reduce pressure and help establish the rhythm of a genuine conversation.

4.      Model Curiosity Over Correctness

Instead of scripting, “Say: How are you?” model curiosity: “Oh, your backpack has a Pokémon! Which one’s your favourite?”

Teach kids to notice and wonder, not just repeat.

5.      Celebrate the Attempt, Not the Outcome

When my son now says “Hi” and adds a sentence, I don’t care if it’s grammatically perfect or socially flawless.

He initiated.

That’s the connection. That’s growth.

The Takeaway: Connection, Not Choreography

We all want our kids to thrive socially.

However, when we overemphasise the form, we risk losing the essence.

Let’s move away from polished performances and lean into genuine connection, the kind that begins with nods, awkward silences, and offbeat observations, slowly building into something beautiful.

Because the child who whispers “Hi” today?

Might surprise you with a story tomorrow on their own terms, in their own voice.

Have you tried social scripts before? What worked or didn’t for your child or student? I’d love to hear your experience.

Suppose you’d like personal guidance on how to support your learner’s communication journey.

In that case, you can book a 1:1 session with me here Recommended Resources

To support your journey beyond social scripts, here are some handpicked resources, including a free course to boost professional skills and practical books/workbooks perfect for classroom or home use:

Free Professional Course

Special Needs School Shadow Support

A free, CPD-accredited course focused on one-on-one support for children with autism and ADHD in inclusive settings. It covers visual supports, behavioural strategies, techniques to facilitate social interactions, and peer inclusion, ideal for shadow teachers, educators, and parents alike.

Recommended Books & Workbooks Socially ADDept: Teaching Social Skills to Children with ADHD, LD, and Asperger’s

  A structured, lesson-by-lesson guide to teaching the hidden rules of social interaction. Includes worksheets and strategies specifically designed for individuals with ADHD and related profiles.

The Effects of ADHD on Children’s Social Skills: Think Before You Act

  Offers insight into how ADHD affects social understanding and practical tips on guiding children through social missteps.

Developing Social Skills in Children with ADHD (eBook)

  A concise toolkit of targeted strategies and supports designed to build interactive confidence in young children.

Helpful Tools & Workbooks Social Skills Workbook for Kids

  Engaging scenarios and interactive exercises to build confidence and communication skills, perfect for guided play or independent work.

Social Skills for Kids: 150+ Activities Guide

  A rich collection of turn‑taking games, conversation starters, and fun exercises designed to spark real social interaction.

How These HelpDeepen Understanding

  Courses and books offer concrete techniques for flexible, real-world conversations that move beyond rote scripts to adaptable interactions.

Build Through Play & Practice

  Workbooks and activity guides offer playful, low-pressure ways to practise turn-taking, curiosity, and response-building.

Support Reflective Teaching

  Educators and shadow teachers will gain strategies to model curiosity, celebrate the effort, and scaffold meaningful conversation.

Wrap-up TipsEnrol in the Special Needs School Shadow Support course for a strong foundation in inclusive, real-life social facilitation.Choose one hands-on workbook that matches your child’s age and comfort level.Use these tools alongside your conversational routines, role-play unexpected turns, celebrate one-word responses, and ask open-ended questions.

By combining professional insights with engaging, child-friendly tools, you can foster genuine connection over perfection and help neurodiverse kids speak confidently in their own voice.

Want help implementing any of these?

You can book a personal 1:1 consultation with me here

Tiny Tools, Big Feelings: 3 Visual Supports That Help Kids Regulate (When Words Fail)

“He was fine five minutes ago. What happened?”

It’s a sentence I’ve heard in classrooms, therapy sessions, and yes, in my own home. If you’re a shadow teacher, classroom educator, or a parent supporting a neurodivergent child, you’ve likely said it too.

And here’s the truth most people miss:

He was fine until he wasn’t.

Emotions in neurodivergent children don’t always follow a slow build-up. They can spike without warning, triggered by something as simple as a shift in lighting, an unexpected noise, or a transition they weren’t ready for. And in those moments, when words disappear and behaviour takes over, it’s not the “why” we need to chase. It’s the how:

How can we help them express what they feel before it explodes?

The Day I Realised Language Wasn’t the Only Tool

I once tried talking my son through a meltdown using logic. Big mistake.

There he was, lying on the floor because the shirt he liked was in the laundry.

I calmly asked, “What are you feeling right now?”

He stared at me like I’d asked him to explain gravity.

And then he screamed, “I don’t KNOW!”

Of course, he didn’t. Emotional literacy doesn’t magically appear with age. It needs to be taught, modelled, and scaffolded just like reading or maths.

And for many neurodivergent children, verbal explanations simply aren’t accessible in the moment.

That was the day I started relying on visual tools, not as a “backup plan,” but as the primary plan.

What Are Visual Supports for Emotional Regulation?

Think of them as emotional translators.

When a child can’t explain their internal world with words, visuals offer a bridge:

From feeling to understanding, from chaos to clarity.

They aren’t about distraction or suppression. They’re about empowerment.

And here are three that I’ve seen transform even the most challenging moments, both at home and in the classroom.

1.    The Feelings Thermometer

This tool helps children rate their emotional intensity using a scale that usually ranges from 1 to 5 or uses colours from blue to red.

What makes it powerful is its simplicity.

Instead of saying, “I’m anxious and overstimulated,” a child can point to the orange zone and say, “I’m getting hot.”

It helps caregivers catch the signs before the boiling point.

Pro tip: Personalise it. Let the child draw or choose images that represent their “cool” vs “heated” states.

2.    Zones of Regulation Colour Chart

This one categorises emotions into four colour-coded “zones”:

Blue: Sad, tired, boredGreen: Calm, focused, ready to learnYellow: Silly, anxious, fidgetyRed: Angry, out of control, overwhelmed

What it does brilliantly is remove the binary thinking of “good” or “bad” behaviour.

All zones are standard; it’s about knowing where you are and what you need.

And yes, I’ve had kids tell me, “I’m in the yellow zone today. Can I chew gum while we work?” That’s regulation in action.

3.    Break Cards

These cards give kids the ability to say “I need space” without having to explain why.

They can be as simple as a card that says:

“I need a break”“I feel overwhelmed”“Can I go to the calm corner?”

The key is teaching the child when and how to use them, not just handing them out and hoping they work.

With consistent modelling, these cards become a lifeline.

And let’s be honest, don’t we all wish we had a break card some days?

Why This Matters (Now More Than Ever)

We live in a world that praises “well-behaved” kids and often misunderstands those who are emotionally sensitive.

But compliance isn’t the goal.

Understanding is.

As shadow teachers, educators, parents, and supporters of neurodivergent individuals, we need to stop expecting self-regulation to happen without tools.

Visual supports aren’t gimmicks. They respect.

They say: “I see your struggle, and I’m going to help you find a way through it.”

And when we do that consistently?

We raise kids who don’t just avoid meltdowns.

We raise kids who know themselves.

Your Turn

Have you tried any of these tools before? Which one worked best for your child or student?

Let’s learn from each other. Drop your thoughts in the comments.

And if you’re feeling stuck and need support in figuring out how to use these tools in your specific setting, I’m here to help.

You can book a 1:1 consultation with me here Recommended Tools & Courses to Support Emotional Regulation

To bring the visual tools we discussed to live, here are some practical items and professional development resources you can easily access:

Visual Aids & ToolkitsPrintable Feelings Chart (Zones of Regulation) – A beautifully illustrated chart that links emotions to mind‑body states and corresponds with the Zones framework. Perfect for classroom or home use, this is an interactive and customisable tool. Canvas Feelings Thermometer Poster – A durable visual scale that helps children gauge emotional intensity, complete with colour coding and coping suggestions, great for calm-down corners. Movement & Calming Break Cards – These break cards offer clear, visual choices for self-regulation, providing options such as stretching, drawing, or quiet time. They are ideal for giving children autonomy in overwhelming moments.

All these tools align perfectly with the three “tiny tools” covered in this post, which support kids in naming, sensing, and pausing their big feelings.

Courses to Deepen Your Understanding

Building confidence in guiding emotional regulation goes beyond the tools; it also involves growing your own insight. The following courses are free and offer CPD-accredited knowledge:

“Develop Your Emotional Intelligence” – A beginner-level course that introduces the core components of emotional intelligence, giving you practical strategies to better support children’s self-awareness and emotion management.“Diploma in Emotional Intelligence” – This comprehensive program covers emotional awareness, stress management, and decision-making, making it ideal for those seeking to strengthen both personal and professional skills.

Enrolling in either of these is an excellent step if you’re supporting neurodiverse children and want to bolster your toolkit with evidence-based understanding.

Final Thoughts

Combining visual aids with deeper emotional literacy skills, these products and courses can transform everyday stressors into opportunities for growth for both the child and the adult guiding them.

If you’d like help integrating these tools into your specific setting or want a personalised plan based on your child or classroom, I’m here for you.

You can book a 1:1 consultation with me here

Left Out, Not Less: How to Support a Child Through Social Rejection with Compassion and Confidence

“They all got invited… except me.”

That one sentence? It’s enough to make the most seasoned shadow teacher, the calmest parent, or the strongest educator pause.

It doesn’t matter how many tools we have in our mental backpack, such as behaviour charts, visual schedules, and social skill scripts; nothing prepares you for the weight of a child’s heartbreak when they realise they were omitted.

The Moment That Stings More Than a Meltdown

Let me take you to a Tuesday afternoon.

My son, wide-eyed and usually buzzing with chatter, sat quietly buckling his seatbelt. I could tell something was off.

I waited.

Halfway through our drive home, he whispered:

“Everyone in class went to Sara’s party… but I didn’t even know she had one.”

That moment? I felt it in my throat.

There was no tantrum. No outburst. Just a quiet ache.

And honestly? That silence felt heavier than any meltdown.

What Adults Usually Do (And Why It Doesn’t Work)

Our instinct is to protect. To rescue.

So, we might say things like:

“You didn’t want to go anyway.”“She’s not a real friend.”“Let’s plan our own better party.”

But let’s be honest. Would you feel better if someone dismissed your pain like that?

Rejection is rejection, no matter how old you are.

Especially for neurodivergent children, who often already struggle with reading social cues or managing emotional overload, exclusion can become more than just a moment; it can become a belief:

“I don’t belong.”

What I Did Instead (And What I Wish I’d Always Done)

I parked the car. Sat beside him. And I didn’t say much at first.

Then I said,

“That felt really bad, didn’t it? Being left out like that?”

He nodded. His shoulders relaxed just a little.

Then I added,

“You’re not the only one this has happened to. But I know that doesn’t make it hurt less.”

We talked about feelings. Drew them out with crayons at home. He drew himself standing outside a circle of kids. In the corner, he scribbled a sun. “That’s me the next day,” he said. “Still there.”

That’s when I realised:

Our job isn’t to erase the rejection. Our job is to hold space for it and remind them they’re still whole.

So, What Actually Helps?

Here are some things I now recommend to shadow teachers, educators, and parents after years of trial, error, and many art-filled afternoons:

1.      Name the Feeling Without Fixing It Immediately

Start with:

“It sounds like you’re feeling hurt. That makes sense.”

Validation opens the door to emotional safety.

2.      Use Visual or Play-Based Expression

Draw the moment. Make a clay version of how it felt. Use colours to show the feeling.

Let them externalise it, not internalise it.

3.      Create a “Noticed Me” Jar

Each time someone smiles, includes them, or says something kind, write it down and add it to the collection.

It helps shift the focus from who didn’t to who did.

4.      Model Healthy Reframing

Later, when the emotion is not raw, gently share:

“Sometimes people forget or don’t understand us fully. That doesn’t mean something’s wrong with us. It just means they missed a chance to know someone amazing.”5.      Keep Routines Predictable

Rejection shakes their world. Predictability stabilises it.

The school day might have gone sideways, but dinner together or storytime can be an anchor.

For the One Reading This and Thinking: “That’s Literally Me”

Maybe you were the kid who didn’t get invited. Perhaps you’re still carrying that little voice that said, “You’re not enough.”

Let this be your reminder, whether you’re guiding a neurodivergent child through this pain or walking through it yourself:

You don’t have to be invited everywhere to belong somewhere.

You’re already worth knowing. You’ve always been.

Need help supporting a child through situations like this? Let’s talk.

Book a 1:1 consultation with me here

Let’s create safer emotional spaces .

If this post resonated with you, share it with someone who’s raising or teaching a child who’s ever felt left out. Let’s keep this conversation going.

Recommended Resources

To further support children through moments of social rejection and help them build emotional resilience, here are some curated tools and courses:

Online Courses

These self‑paced courses provide practical skills for educators, caregivers, and parents:

Emotional Intelligence in Early Childhood focuses on helping young children understand and regulate their emotions, as well as develop healthy peer relationships. Early Childhood Development of Empathy Skills : Offers strategies for cultivating empathy and emotional awareness, a perfect complement to social skills coaching. Child Psychology – The Importance of Play : Explores how play can be used therapeutically to process emotions and build social confidence.

These courses are ideal for shadow teachers, parents, and therapists seeking evidence-based, practical tools to enrich emotional support.

Books & Workbooks

These visual and activity‑based guides help children articulate and bounce back from feelings of rejection:

The Resilience Workbook for Kids : Packed with 32 kid‑friendly exercises to build coping skills and a positive mindset, ideal for reinforcing resilience after challenging social moments. Emotional Intelligence for Kids Emotions Toolkit : This toolkit features engaging activities that focus on identifying and communicating emotions, creatively supporting self-awareness and empathy. Emotionally Intelligent Ninja : A fun illustrated story that helps children learn to label and manage feelings through a relatable narrative and humour. How to Integrate These into Your WorkResourceSuggested UseResilience WorkbookUse after an exclusion incident to reinforce strategies like problem‑solving, breathing exercises, or positive self‑talk.Emotions ToolkitIdeal for weekly check‑ins, help children name how they feel and why. Bridges conversation and creative expression.Emotionally Intelligent NinjaRead together after a hard social day. Helps children recognise that everyone has big feelings, but they can manage them.CoursesShadow teachers and educators can complete these courses to enhance their emotional coaching skills and even earn certificates to add to their professional profiles.

By combining reflective conversation, creative activities, and skill‑building tools, you’ll help children transform painful rejection into opportunities for growth.

Want personalised support to implement these strategies with a child you’re working with?

Book a 1:1 consultation with me

Let me know which resource resonated most, or if you’d like sample session templates using these tools, we can build something powerful together.