Namita Das's Blog, page 5

One Trick to Help Kids Name Big Emotions Without Saying ‘Calm Down’

“Calm down.”

Two words. Said with the best intentions.

But they rarely land the way we hope, especially when a child is mid-meltdown, or on the edge of one. In fact, it’s a bit like yelling ‘relax’ at someone stuck in quicksand. They might hear you, but what they feel is panic, shame, and confusion.

I’ve been there both as a parent and as a professional.

The Classroom That Changed Everything

Years ago, I was supporting a bright, energetic 6-year-old who had a knack for flipping furniture whenever overwhelmed. He couldn’t tell us why. He couldn’t name the emotion. And no one could guess whether he was angry, sad, overstimulated, or scared.

The common response? Calm down.

The result? Louder yelling. More resistance. Shut-down mode.

So we tried something else.

Instead of asking him to label the emotion with words he didn’t yet have, we gave him metaphors to grab onto.

“If your feelings were a colour, what would it be today?”“If it were a weather report, what would we see outside?”“If your feeling had a sound, what would it be?”

He paused. Then whispered, “Red. Like a siren.”

It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t polished. But it was the first real moment of self-expression we had seen from him in weeks. And it changed the way I approached every child’s emotional world after that.

Why This Works (Even When Words Don’t)

When children, especially neurodivergent ones, experience intense emotions, their logical language brain often takes a back seat. That’s not misbehaviour; it’s neurology. The emotional brain goes into full alert, and the ability to process adult instructions, such as “calm down,” becomes almost impossible.

This is where metaphor becomes magic.

By asking the child to translate their internal state into something visual, sensory, or creative, we:

Decrease pressure to “get it right”Tap into the sensory language their brain can accessMake feelings external, which makes them easier to manageBuild a bridge between their world and ours

It’s not about fixing the feeling. It’s about making it visible.

Try This With Your Students or Kids

Here are a few emotion-naming prompts I often use at home and in schools:

If your feeling was:A colour, what would it be?A shape, what would it look like?An animal, what would it be doing?A type of weather, what’s the forecast?A song, what would it sound like?

You’ll be amazed at the responses.

“I’m a thundercloud that wants to burst.”

“I’m a zebra stuck in traffic.”

“I’m yellow with sharp edges.”

These are more than just cute answers; they’re emotional check-ins in disguise.

The Real Win? Connection.

When we stop trying to control the storm and start getting curious about it, something shifts. The child feels seen. Understood. Safe enough to open up. And we stop seeing behaviour as something to correct and start recognising it as communication.

This one shift can strengthen your relationship with any child, whether you’re teaching, shadowing, parenting, or simply caring deeply about their world.

Final Thought

Not every child will respond right away. Some need time, while others need modelling. However, all children need space to express big feelings in a way that makes sense to them, not just to us.

So the next time you feel the urge to say “calm down,” pause.

Try inviting them to describe the weather inside their brain instead.

You might just discover the storm had a name all along.

I’d Love to Hear From You

What metaphor has your child or student used that stuck with you?

Let’s build a bank of creative emotional check-ins together.

And if you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, I offer 1:1 guidance to help you support your child with more confidence and less chaos.

Book a consultation here Recommended Resources

To help deepen your practice and support emotional naming with tangible tools, here are some efficient recommendations:

Online Courses Early Childhood Development of Empathy Skills – A free beginner-level course focused on building empathy and emotional intelligence in young children, ideal for educators and caregivers working with preschoolers. Diploma in Emotional Intelligence – A more comprehensive 10–15 hour course that helps you master the skills to understand and manage emotions for both children and adults. Emotion-Regulation Card Decks

These playable, expressive tools are excellent additions to a “feelings toolkit” and pair beautifully with metaphor-based emotional naming.

Self‑Regulation Deck for Kids: 50 Cards of CBT Exercises and Coping Strategies

  A complete toolkit of kid‑friendly exercises to help identify, self‑regulate, and express emotion during big-feeling moments.

Feelings Deck for Kids: 30 Activities for Handling Big Emotions

  Interactive cards that guide recognition of how emotions show up in the body, with playful mindfulness and art-based activities.

Alene’s Emotion and Feeling Flip Book

  A handy flip-book of emotion prompts is perfect for quiet moments in calm-down corners or one-on-one support with neurodiverse learners.

By integrating these tools alongside the metaphor naming trick from the blog, you’ll offer children multiple pathways to articulate, explore, and regulate their emotions, making emotional literacy both engaging and accessible.

If you’d like help choosing the right tools or implementing them with a specific child or classroom, feel free to book a 1:1 consultation with me here.

Click to book here

Book Review: Want to Know a Secret? by Freida McFadden

I often find myself drawn to stories that reflect the complexity of human emotion, especially those tucked neatly behind a smiling suburban façade. Want to Know a Secret? by Freida McFadden isn’t just another domestic thriller; it’s a psychological rollercoaster veiled in cupcake frosting and PTA banners.

At first glance, April Masterson’s world appears deceptively perfect: a charming house, an internet-famous baking channel, and a seemingly content family life. But beneath the pastel perfection lies a tension that most women, especially mothers, can quietly relate to. The expectations. The isolation. The secrets. And when those secrets begin to unravel, McFadden does what she does best: she spins an everyday setting into a chilling narrative, riddled with suspense and drenched in paranoia.

I found April’s relationship with her son Bobby especially telling. While the book isn’t centred on neurodivergence, there’s an unspoken emotional undercurrent in their interactions that echoes what many mothers feel: guilt, exhaustion, and the desperate effort to remain composed while spinning too many plates. Bobby’s curiosity and subtle absence of voice in key scenes felt eerily familiar to me as a parent; silence was loud, and perhaps intentionally so.

Therapeutically, I appreciated how McFadden cleverly explores the psychological unravelling of a woman trying to keep her inner and outer lives from colliding. Her portrayal of hyper-vigilance, anxiety, and the erosion of trust mirrors real-life cases of burnout and emotional dysregulation that I encounter in sessions with parents, especially those raising children while navigating their own unresolved wounds.

I couldn’t help but interpret April’s baking as a metaphor. Each gooey brownie, each meticulously styled video, is her way of exerting control in a world that’s rapidly spiralling. The kitchen becomes her canvas, her stage, and her shield.

Yes, the plot begins at a slower simmer than McFadden’s other works. Still, once the tension rises, it bubbles over deliciously. The dual perspectives of April and the unnamed antagonist add to the intrigue, and the eventual twist? Let’s just say it rewired my expectations completely. As a fan of psychological storytelling, I adore an unreliable narrator who forces me to question my assumptions. McFadden delivers that, yet again.

Of course, no book is without its cracks. For readers like me, who often lean away from gossipy neighbourhood drama and clique-based conflict, the Desperate Housewives-style setting might initially feel a tad overdone. But even then, McFadden subverts the stereotype by turning it into a minefield of suspicion and social pressure.

I often reflect on how adult stories can inform our understanding of childhood. The subtle presence of Bobby and what happens to him remind us that children are usually silent casualties in adult chaos. It’s a gentle nudge to pay closer attention.

Final thoughts:

Want to Know a Secret? is a gripping, twist-filled psychological thriller that seduces you with sugar and gut-punches you with secrets. Freida McFadden once again proves her mastery in crafting thrillers that are both entertaining and emotionally textured. While it may not be her most layered work, it is undeniably a satisfying and unpredictable read.

Would I recommend it? Absolutely. Especially to parents, therapists, or readers who enjoy dissecting human behaviour behind polished veneers. And if you love unreliable narrators, buckle up.

“He Refused to Wear Socks Again”: The Power of Positivity for Kids with ADHD

If your mornings feel like a high-stakes obstacle course involving socks, spoons, and spontaneous emotional meltdowns, you’re not alone.

I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to watch the clock tick down while your child negotiates peace treaties with their clothes.

And socks? Socks were once our most enormous battlefield.

The Great Sock Stand-Off

It always started the same way.

Me: “Time to get ready. Socks on.”

He stares at the wall like it’s a portal to Narnia

Me: “Come on, sweetheart, we need to go.”

Him: “But the socks feel wrong. The sun isn’t sunny enough. And I haven’t finished building my blanket fort.”

Cue meltdown.

Cue raised voices.

Cue me, holding his socks and questioning every parenting choice I’ve ever made.

Here’s the thing most people don’t realise: it wasn’t defiance. It wasn’t laziness. It wasn’t even about the socks.

It was sensory overload. It was transition resistance. It was the overwhelm of too many demands in a world that already felt like too much.

What Changed?

I stopped focusing on compliance.

I started focusing on connection.

Instead of demanding he wear the socks, I turned it into a race.

“Bet you can’t get to the door before I count to ten.”

Suddenly, it wasn’t about socks anymore. It was about winning. Play. Control. Choice.

That moment, tiny, silly, and unplanned, taught me something big:

Positivity isn’t just kindness. It’s a strategy.

Why Positivity Works (Especially with Neurodivergent Kids)

When we praise effort, reframe situations playfully, and approach with curiosity instead of control, we reduce resistance. We regulate first, and teach second.

This isn’t about pretending things are fine.

It’s about choosing to see the child beneath the chaos.

To name the good.

To believe they’re trying.

To remember that behaviour is communication, not manipulation.

What Positivity Might Actually Look Like in Practice:Saying “You’re trying really hard” instead of “You’re being difficult.”Creating a game out of transitions (Race you to the door. Pretend the floor is lava).Offering choices instead of commands (“Do you want to wear the blue socks or the red ones?”).Celebrating small wins: “You got dressed today even though it felt hard. That’s huge.”Using humour as a bridge, not a distraction.A Note for Shadow Teachers, Educators and Parents

If you’re supporting a child who seems “unmotivated” or “too much,” pause and ask:

What’s really going on beneath the behaviour?

Often, it’s not about what they won’t do. It’s about what they can’t yet do without support, safety, and a bit of fun woven into the routine.

Final Thought

A child who is met with criticism learns to brace.

A child who is met with encouragement learns to try again.

Positivity is not permissiveness.

It’s the belief that even the hardest mornings carry hope, and even the most minor shifts can create change.

Next time your child refuses to wear socks, try shifting the story.

Let the win come from connection, not control.

What’s one silly or surprising thing that worked for you with your child or student?

Sharing it in the comments might help someone else facing their own sock stand-off.

And if you’d like support with strategies that actually fit your child, you can book a 1:1 session with me here:

Click Here To Book Recommended Resources to Deepen Your Support·       Free Online Course –

ADHD in Child Development

A comprehensive, CPD-accredited course that breaks down ADHD symptoms, subtypes, and non-medical support strategies. It includes sections on parenting approaches and the impact of family dynamics, making it perfect for educators, students, and parents seeking a foundational understanding.

Who it’s for: Shadow teachers, parents, and anyone working with ADHD.

Child Development: Sleep Training

Sleep challenges often accompany emotional dysregulation and behavioural issues. This course provides insight into neurophysiology, common disorders, and tailored sleep-training strategies for neurodivergent children, including those with ADHD.

Who it’s for: Parents and educators seeking routine and regulation support.·       Book Recommendation

Mindful Parenting for ADHD –

A thoughtful guide packed with playful, positivity-focused techniques to calm stress and build connection. Ideal for parents and shadow teachers seeking practical strategies rooted in mindfulness and encouragement.

Focuses on real-life tools to foster emotional regulation and trustEmphasises understanding over correction, a perfect complement to the positive shifts in your blog postWhy These Resources Fit Perfectly Here

These courses and the book offer concrete tools you can start using today: curriculum-aligned strategies, sensory insights, and emotional scaffolding. They transform the theory of positivity into actionable support that your child or student can actually feel and respond to.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

Explore the courses, grab the book, and let these resources help you turn those chaotic mornings into opportunities for connection and growth.

And if you’d like help tailoring these strategies to your child or classroom, feel free to book a 1:1 session with me:

Click Here To Book

New Freebie for You: Teaching Kids About Pets, Germs & Gentle Hygiene

I’ve created something special for you this week — a gentle, neurodivergent-friendly resource to help your child learn about pet safety and hygiene in a way that feels playful, calm, and easy to follow.

Whether your little one is curious about every furry friend they see, or struggles with handwashing routines, this free mini-guide will give you:

Simple ways to talk about germs without causing anxietyA visual story you can use at home or in classGentle hygiene reminders that actually stick

This one’s for the parents, shadow teachers, and caregivers who believe in teaching through connection, not fear.

Download the free guide here

As always, thank you for being part of this growing community of compassionate, creative learners.

Warmly,
Namita
EducateAble

P.S. If your child loves stories, keep an eye out for a new printable with Kuku coming soon!

How Fixing My Son’s Morning Routine Helped Me Reclaim My Day

“The sun doesn’t look sunny enough to wake up today.”

That’s what my child said one morning when I gently pulled his blanket down and whispered, “Time to get up.”

I paused. Not because I didn’t know what to say next, but because… honestly? I felt that.

The Hidden Chaos Behind Calm Mornings

Before we fixed our mornings, they weren’t explosive; they were draining. Not loud, but slow. Quiet refusals. Delays. Emotional tug-of-war.

My son, diagnosed with ADHD, often needed more time. Not just to physically get up but to mentally shift from cosy cocoon to “let’s start the day.”

As an independent contractor, juggling home and work, I needed to get moving, too. Breakfasts, planning lessons, checking emails, writing deadlines, remembering to be both “Mommy” and “Me” in one uninterrupted stretch of morning.

I was never “late for work” in the traditional sense. There was no office to reach by 9. But I was consistently late for my own day. I couldn’t start writing on time. Couldn’t prep for client sessions in peace. My head was already scrambled before I opened a single tab.

What Didn’t Work (And What We Skipped Entirely)

Let’s be clear, there were no charts.

No star stickers.

No laminated morning routines stuck on the fridge.

Not because those things aren’t helpful for many kids, they absolutely can be. But they didn’t feel right for us.

I knew my child needed something else: predictability, not perfection. And connection, not correction.

So we skipped the usual tools and built our mornings differently.

The Game That Changed Everything

We kept our routine the same. That was rule number one. Wake up. Bathroom. Breakfast. Dress up. Bag by the door.

The order never changed. But the energy did.

Some days, we raced each other to the bathroom.

On other days, I gave him his requested “5 more minutes” to cuddle under the blanket, and I cuddled too.

Sometimes, we pretended the hallway was a lava bridge and the floor could only be crossed if we tiptoed like penguins.

It wasn’t about gimmicks. It was about preparing him for what was coming, step by step.

We got him an alarm clock just for fun. He started setting it on his own. The ownership made him proud.

He began waking up knowing what was to come next. There was less resistance. More trust.

And slowly, our mornings became… ours.

So What Actually Changed?

It wasn’t just him.

It was me.

I wasn’t reacting anymore. I was responding.

Because once his morning had a rhythm, mine did too.

I could start work when I said I would.

Write, teach, plan, and create with a clearer mind and fewer emotional leftovers from the morning scramble.

Fixing our morning routine didn’t just help him transition into the day; it also helped him stay focused throughout the day. It helped me transition from mum-mode into work-mode.

The Real Secret: Routines Aren’t Rigid. They’re Anchors.

If you’re a shadow teacher trying to ease a student into the school day…

If you’re a teacher who wonders why one child takes longer to settle during circle time…

If you’re a parent who feels like mornings are emotionally exhausting before your coffee is even brewed…

Know this:

Routines don’t have to be strict to be effective.

They just have to be predictable enough to feel safe.

Especially for neurodivergent kids, transitions aren’t about being fast; they’re about being prepared. And sometimes, that preparation comes in the form of five extra minutes, a playful race, or a cuddle on the couch.

What Helped Us (That Might Help You Too)Same sequence every day: No matter what time we wake up, the order stays the same.Built-in connection: Hugs, cuddles, and eye contact before instructions.No power struggles: If he needs 5 more minutes and we have it, I give it.Ownership: He sets his own alarm. That tiny act built his confidence for the morning.Fun folded in: A game, a pretend race, a silly challenge bring lightness to a structured routine.What’s Your Morning Like?

If you’ve ever felt like mornings are quietly draining or sneakily stressful, I see you.

Whether you’re guiding a student, supporting your child, or managing your own neurodivergent brain, remember: calm mornings aren’t built overnight. But they can be built.

I’d love to know what the most unexpected thing your child has said in the morning is.

Or what little change helped your mornings feel less chaotic?

Share it in the comments.

And if you’d like help figuring out a routine that works for your unique child or student, I offer 1:1 consultations.

You can book a session with me hereRecommended Resources

Seeking tools or courses to enhance your morning routine? Here are some tried-and-true options tailored for families like ours:

Helpful Product: Kids’ Alarm & Sleep Trainer

Kidsleep Globetrotter Sleep Trainer

A gentle, child-friendly clock that uses sun and moon icons to signal wake-up or bedtime. It helps young kids internalise routines without nagging, perfect for boosting independence and morning readiness.

Free  Courses to Build Routine Confidence Building Healthy Daily Habits – Learn the psychology behind daily habits, which can help you craft family routines that stick without pressure. Reach Success with Micro Habits and Routines – Discover how small, consistent changes can help both you and your child manage days with more calm and productivity.

Both courses are free, accessible, and offer practical tools you can introduce at your own pace.

Why These Work

These tools support what worked for us organically:

Ownership: When kids set their own morning triggers, like a clock, they’re more invested in following through.Predictability: Clocks + consistent routines build internal structure without rigid charts.Micro‑habits: Small steps compound into calm mornings, leaving space and energy for everyone later in the day. How to Use These in Your Morning FlowStepToolAction1Sleep Trainer ClockIntroduce the clock as a fun morning buddy. Explain that the sun = time to wake up, the moon = rest time.2Micro‑habits CourseTake one free module each week. Apply one type, such as setting consistent wake-up cues or planning transition phrases.3Daily Habits CourseUse your learnings to refine the flow: wake up → cuddle → bathroom → breakfast → work/play time.

With these supports in place, routines feel less like rules and more like reliable rhythms you both can count on.

Want Personalised Morning Support?

I offer 1:1 consultations to help you design a morning routine that actually works for your child and your life.

Book a session here

By combining the right tools with small habit changes, mornings can go from exhausting to empowering for everyone.

Saying Yes Too Often? The Real Cost of Overcommitting (And How to Stop Without Guilt)

Ever found yourself agreeing to one more thing, a school project, a meeting, an extra class, a parent call, only to realise your day now ends with cold tea, a pile of to-dos, and your own meltdown brewing quietly inside?

You’re not lazy. You’re not disorganised. You’re overcommitted.

Let Me Tell You a Story…

It was the beginning of summer break, and like any planner-loving, child-centred parent, I pulled out chart paper, colours, sticky notes, and my best intentions. The goal? A summer activity list that was fun, stimulating, and structured for my son with ADHD.

But here’s where it gets messy.

Planning the activities was just the start.

My son wanted me involved in all of them  because doing it “alone is boring, Mommy!”

So I was part dance partner, craft buddy, memory card opponent, and swimming class chauffeur.

Meanwhile, I was also…

Attending a webinar on behaviour strategiesWriting a book review, I had promisedTrying to meet my own personal deadline for a research paperCommitting to daily yoga because, well, self-careMaking the grocery list (and forgetting it at home)Running to the store before the bread ran out  again

Each thing seemed small on its own. But together? They built a mountain. One, I had no rope for.

Why did I say yes to all of it?

Because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone.

Because I thought, “I should be able to do this.”

Because guilt loves to whisper, “If you don’t, who will?”

But the truth is, every “yes” I offered the world was a silent “no” to myself.

So Why Do We Overcommit?

Primarily, when we work with or care for neurodivergent individuals, the pressure is always on. We become the support system, the safe person, the bridge, the translator, the planner.

We say yes because we want to help.

We say yes because we know the struggle.

We say yes because we think the rest is for later.

But here’s the thing: overcommitting doesn’t make you more helpful. It makes you more exhausted.

And when you’re running on fumes, even your best strategies crumble. The calm tone becomes snappy. The planned activity becomes “just do what you want.” The empathy disappears.

And then we feel guilty again.

What Helps Instead?

Get Comfortable with the Pause

Before saying yes, try saying:

“Let me check my schedule and get back to you.”

That pause alone gives your nervous system time to assess, not just react.

Reframe’ No’ as a Gift

You’re not closing a door. You’re preserving the room inside you to be present where it matters.

Try:

“I’m not able to take that on right now.”“Thanks for asking, but I’ll need to sit this one out.”“I’d love to help another time.”Check Your ‘Why’

Ask:

Am I saying yes out of guilt?

Because I want to impress?

Because I think I don’t deserve rest?

If the answer is yes to any of those, it’s a signal, not a weakness.

Model Boundaries for Neurodivergent Kids

Saying, “I’m too tired to play right now, let’s do something later,” teaches children that rest is a valid option. That saying no doesn’t mean you don’t care, it means you’re human.

Replace ‘To-Do’ with ‘To-Feel’ Lists

Instead of only listing tasks, try this:

Today, I want to feel calm during bedtime.I want to share a laugh with my child.I want to finish this day without resentment.

  This shifts the focus from output to connection.

Final Thought :

Saying no isn’t failing.

It’s choosing what really matters in a world that constantly asks for more.

Burnout doesn’t make you a hero.

Boundaries do.

Want Help Untangling the Overwhelm?

Book a 1:1 consultation with me to explore how you can build sustainable systems, support neurodivergent children with less burnout, and reintroduce peace into your days:

Click here to book

Tell me in the comments what’s one thing you’re going to say “no” to this week?

Recommended ResourcesBooks“HOW TO MAINTAIN COMPOSURE AROUND KIDS WITH ADHD” by George J. Burks

  A practical guide packed with strategies to set clear boundaries, manage outbursts, and improve emotional communication with your child

“Setting Limits, Revised & Expanded” (2nd Ed.) by Robert J. Mackenzie

  A classic resource offering firm yet respectful boundary approaches for children, wonderful for shadow teachers and parents navigating challenging moments

“Parenting Kids with ADHD: A Beginner’s Guide” by Renato Flauzino

  Provides ADHD-savvy techniques for helping your child self-regulate, stay focused, and flip their “superpower” switch

Why These Matter

These books reinforce the toolkit you’ve been exploring, from saying no without guilt to creating calm, supportive environments for neurodiverse kids. They’re grounded in real‑world examples and strategies you can start using immediately.

Course Suggestions

These courses can support your professional development:

Diploma in Stress Management : practical tools to sustain calm during high-demand days Introduction to Time Management helps you carve out breathing space in your busy schedule.How to Use These ResourcesPair with the Toolkit in This Post: Read about boundary-building, then revisit the chapters or exercises that align with your next step.Create Mini Coaching Sessions: Use concepts from one book or course each week and reflect on how they apply with your child or coachee.Join or Start a Buddy Read Group: Deepen understanding by discussing your takeaways with colleagues or parents.

Integrating these resources alongside boundary skills and self‑care strategies can enrich your journey with neurodiverse families.

Want support tailoring these insights to your real life?

Book a 1:1 session with me to explore how to sustain calm, reinforce healthy boundaries, and boost connection without burning out:

Click here to book

Book Review: Embraces in Ink: Notes from the Soul by Manali Desai

I often look for books that don’t just entertain but offer a mirror to the human spirit, books that hold space for emotions, experiences, and reflection. Embraces in Ink: Notes from the Soul by Manali Desai is a rare gem that not only touched my heart but also left an indelible imprint on my soul.

There couldn’t have been a more beautiful way to wrap up the month than with this soul-stirring collection. In the chaos of sessions, parenting responsibilities, writing deadlines, and the ever-growing to-do lists, this book felt like a much-needed pause moment to exhale and reconnect with the quieter, deeper parts of myself.

Structured as a series of letters and poetic reflections, this book feels like you’re reading someone’s soul laid bare on paper. As someone who teaches emotional regulation and gratitude techniques to children, including my own little one with ADHD, I often emphasise the power of naming feelings and showing appreciation. Manali Desai does just that effortlessly. With every letter, she gives voice not only to people and emotions, but also to the overlooked things, such as curtains, yogurt, domestic help, or even self. It’s an act of mindful gratitude in the purest literary form.

Her letter, “When Socials Become Anti-Social,” resonated especially with me, not just as a writer active on social media, but also as a parent deeply concerned about the impact of digital exposure on the next generation. She holds up a mirror that reflects both the loneliness and longing that are wrapped up in our hyper-connected lives.

What sets Embraces in Ink apart is its accessibility and inclusivity. You don’t need to be a poet to appreciate poetry here. You just need to have lived, loved, lost, healed, or hoped. Whether it was a letter that mirrored my own journey as a special needs parent or one that reminded me to thank the often-invisible helpers in our daily lives, each piece stirred something raw and beautiful.

From a therapeutic perspective, this book can serve as a valuable tool in counselling sessions, particularly for gratitude journaling or reflective writing, with older children, teens, or adults. Its ability to validate and humanise emotions, and to gently provoke reflection, is incredibly valuable. Even, I found her words reinforcing the idea that emotional literacy and self-awareness must go hand in hand with any behavioural strategy.

I thought of reading select letters aloud to my son, particularly the ones about friendship, kindness, and self-love. While he may not fully grasp the depth of the language, the intent, the tone, and the warmth, they all seep through.

Some letters made me cry. Others felt like they were written just for me. And some reminded me of people I’d forgotten to thank. That’s the magic of this book: it helps you feel seen and also nudges you to see more clearly.

To sum it up:

Embraces in Ink is not just a collection of dedications. It’s a quiet revolution of gratitude. A heartfelt journey through relationships, regrets, realisations, and love in all its raw and radiant forms. If you’ve been rushing through life, this book is a gentle, poetic invitation to slow down and savour the moment.

Read it. Reflect on it. Gift it to someone you’ve forgotten to thank.

This isn’t just a book, it’s in poetic ink.

When Your Child Saves Their Worst Behaviour for You: Understanding and Using Behavioural Parent Training

Ever wondered why your child listens to the teacher, follows the rules at school, even smiles at the neighbour… but turns into a tiny whirlwind the moment they see you?

If your answer is a tired, “All the time,”  I hear you. I love this.

So I’m not speaking from a textbook. I’m writing this after convincing my son for the third time this morning that toothpaste is not, in fact, optional.

The “Good-for-Others, Wild-at-Home” Mystery

Let me tell you a story.

A few months ago, my son’s teacher called me after class. “He was so focused today,” she said. “He waited his turn, answered questions, and even helped a classmate pack up. You should be proud!”

And I was. Until five minutes after school, when he refused to wear his shoes, declared that sandwiches were “a betrayal of real food,” and had a meltdown because I walked too slowly for his liking.

Sound familiar?

Many parents – especially those raising neurodivergent children – experience this confusing divide between “school behaviour” and “home behaviour.” It’s not that your child is manipulating you, or that you’re not trying hard enough. It’s actually quite the opposite.

Your child trusts you enough to unravel in front of you.

Home is their safe space, their emotional dumping ground.

But here’s where things get tricky:

We begin to think we’ve failed.

We respond emotionally.

We try new techniques every day, each lasting about as long as a bubble.

So… What Is Behavioural Parent Training?

Here’s where Behavioural Parent Training (BPT) steps in.

Now, don’t let the name intimidate you. This isn’t boot camp. There’s no yelling, chart obsession, or punishment protocols involved. At its heart, BPT is about teaching you, as a parent, caregiver, or even a shadow teacher, how to see behaviour not as a personal attack, but as communication.

Through simple, structured strategies, it helps you:

Understand why a behaviour is happeningRespond in a way that builds connection, not conflictReduce outbursts, increase cooperation, and bring back some joy to daily routines

It’s like being handed the instructions for a puzzle you’ve been trying to solve by shaking the box.

Here’s What Most People Don’t Know…

Most children don’t generalise skills across environments. That means the lovely routine that works in school might completely collapse at home unless we intentionally support it.

BPT isn’t just about your child. It’s about equipping you to model calm, hold boundaries, and reinforce the behaviours you want to see without feeling like you’re constantly firefighting.

It empowers teachers, shadow educators, and parents alike to move from chaos to clarity.

A Personal Glimpse

Sometimes, my son still negotiates like a little lawyer.

But now, instead of arguing over every “no” or bribing with screen time, I have a plan.

I use visuals. I give choices. I hold boundaries with warmth. I reinforce the good stuff.

He’s the same child. But our relationship is softer. Safer. Stronger.

If You’re Thinking, “I’ve Tried Everything…”

You probably have. And you’re probably exhausted.

However, chances are that you’ve been trying in the dark without the correct map.

Behavioural Parent Training doesn’t promise perfection. It promises progress.

It says: let’s do less reacting and more responding. Let’s stop guessing and start understanding.

If you’ve ever whispered to yourself, “I love my child… but I’m losing my mind,”  you’re not alone. And there is help.

Drop a comment below if you’ve lived this experience. Let’s talk about it, without shame.

And if you’re ready to explore personalised support, you can book a 1:1 session with me right here:

Click here to book

Because your child doesn’t need a perfect parent. Just a supported one.

Recommended Resources to Support Your BPT Journey

As you work to bring calm, consistency, and connection into your home, the following books and free online courses can be invaluable companions, whether you’re a parent, teacher, educator, or caregiver.

Helpful Books Taking Charge of ADHD – This classic guide combines research-backed strategies with empathy and humour, offering realistic tools for structure, motivation, and collaboration with kids who have ADHD. Parenting Children With ADHD – Focused on communication, emotion coaching, and routines, this practical handbook complements the behavioural parenting approach beautifully. Free Online TrainingDiploma in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy  – Learn how to identify and restructure thought patterns, and use problem-solving strategies with children to developfoundational skills in guiding responses instead of reacting. Positive Parenting Skills and Techniques – Covers setting boundaries with warmth, reinforcing positive behaviour, and using behaviour as a form of communication concepts in BPT. Diploma in Organizational Behaviour – Offers insights into the ABC model (Antecedent–Behaviour–Consequence), chaining, visual supports, and other behaviour-shaping strategies that enhance consistency across home and school. Visual Support Tools2-in-1 Visual Routine & Behaviour Chart – A physical chart that combines visual routines and reward tracking,ideal for children who benefit from structure and visual cues. Oxford Cloth Daily Schedule Pocket Chart – Affordable and customisable, perfect for transitioning between activities and reducing power struggles around transitions. How These Fit into BPTResourceBenefitsBooksCombine empathy with structure to create insightful guides that put strategies into action.CoursesTeach you to read body language as a form of communication, use structured responses, and maintain your composure.ChartsProvide visual consistency that supports generalisation between home and school.

Whether you’re a shadow teacher needing classroom structure, a parent juggling various environments, or someone missing physical tools, these recommendations align with BPT principles, emphasising behaviour as communication, reinforcing positives, and utilising visuals and routines.

If you want help picking the right mix for your child’s unique strengths, feel free to message me or book a 1:1 consultation here:

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Support doesn’t look like perfection. It seems like progress.

Shine Where You Stand: Strengths-Based Activities That Help Neurodiverse Children Thrive

“The problem isn’t that the child can’t do everything. The problem is that we keep asking them to be someone else.”

It started with a parent-teacher meeting. The list was long.

“He doesn’t finish work.”

“She struggles to sit still.”

“He zones out.”

“She talks too much.”

And there it was a trail of ‘doesn’t’, ‘can’t’, ‘too much’, and ‘not enough’.

I looked at the child whose name was on that report.

His eyes sparkled when he spoke about sea creatures.

He could name every type of shark, mimic their sounds, and describe how each one moved.

But that never made it to the school notes.

Because it wasn’t on the test.

Because it wasn’t the goal.

We are obsessed with deficits. We zoom in on what’s missing and forget what’s glowing.

It’s not intentional.

Parents want their child to succeed.

Teachers want their students to cope.

Shadow teachers want them to integrate.

But in the rush to “fix,” we often silence what’s already working.

So What Are Strengths-Based Activities?

They’re not rewards. They’re not distractions.

They are intentional, skill-building moments rooted in what a child already enjoys or is good at.

Let’s say a child loves lining up toys.

Rather than stopping the pattern, try a sorting game based on size or colour. You’re now working on categorisation, visual attention, and flexible thinking without needing a worksheet.

A child who hums constantly might benefit from a rhythm-based circle time, using claps, beats, and simple percussion. This is not just fun. It enhances listening skills, turn-taking, and emotional regulation.

A teen who draws comic strips could be encouraged to storyboard life skills. This taps into creativity while helping them rehearse real-world scenarios, handling conflict, making requests, or navigating a bad day.

A child who knows everything about trains might be more willing to learn maths if the questions involve carriages, tracks, and ticket prices.

It’s not about indulging interests.

It’s about using them to build bridges.

Why This Matters

When we lead with strengths, we’re not ignoring challenges. We’re equipping the child with the confidence and motivation needed to face them.

Imagine being asked to write essays when spelling feels like climbing a mountain. Now imagine writing a comic strip where spelling errors are gently corrected during the editing phase, not in red ink.

Which version helps you feel safe?

Which one makes you want to try again?

Try These Strengths-Based Activity IdeasStrength/InterestActivity IdeaWhat It BuildsLoves movementObstacle course with rule-followingMotor planning, sequencing, and executive functionPassionate about animalsCreate a pretend vet clinicRole play, empathy, and expressive languageEnjoys cooking with adultsMake picture recipesStep-by-step following, maths, and independenceFascinated with machinesBuild simple LEGO machines with instructionsPatience, problem-solving, and fine motor skillsConstantly asking “why?”Create an “investigation journal”Inquiry, persistence, curiosity

Don’t underestimate the power of play and curiosity. It is where actual learning lives.

To Every Shadow Teacher, Educator, and Parent Reading This

Start today.

Make a list. Not of what the child needs to “work on.”

But of what already lights them up.

Then ask yourself, ‘How can I stretch this joy just a little?’

How can I layer one small skill onto something they already love?

Because sometimes, the fastest way to teach something hard

It is to begin with something easy.

And sometimes, the fastest way to help a child feel capable

It is to let them feel seen.

Seeking assistance with developing strength-based strategies for your child or classroom?

You can book a 1:1 session with me here: https://topmate.io/namita_das11.

Let’s stop fixing. Let’s start building.

Because every child has strengths

We just need to look in the right direction.

Recommended Resources Hands-On Products

Here are some thoughtfully chosen tools that align beautifully with strength-based activities, perfect for reinforcing skills through play and interest:

Montessori Wooden Sorting Game : Encourages pattern recognition, categorisation, fine motor development and sustained focus all through a favourite pastime of lining and sorting toys. 4‑in‑1 Fidget Cube : A compact tool for channelling restlessness into calm concentration. Useful during transitions or guided tasks. Learning Resources Sensory Fidget Tubes : Encourages gentle tactile exploration and can be integrated into mindfulness or sensory-centred circle-time activities.

These products can be discreetly integrated into the day and tailored to each child’s specific interests and profile.

Online Courses

These free professional development courses provide frameworks for embedding strengths-based approaches smoothly into teaching and parenting:

Project‑Based Learning in Early Childhood Education (ECE) – Learn how to create meaningful, interest-driven projects that tap into each child’s innate strengths. Understanding the Autism Spectrum Disorder – Offers strength-centred practical strategies for nurturing social communication and sensory preferences. Solution-Focused Brief Therapy Training – Teaches how to draw on a child’s existing skills and successes to set positive, achievable goals. How to Integrate These in PracticeStart with interest + product: Set out the wooden sorting game during choice times, nodding to what the child already enjoys. Then quietly expand it into colour sorting or counting without pointing out mistakes.Blend tools with strategy: Use a fidget cube during transitions and follow up with a strengths-based conversation: “I noticed you moved the cube calmly. What was going through your head?”Upskill through learning: Complete one free course to build confidence in designing meaningful project-based or solution-focused learning around each child’s strengths. Final Thought

By combining playful, interest-based products with theory-backed training, you become the bridge that transforms everyday activities into confidence-building experiences. Use these tools not because a child is “struggling”, but because they are ideally suited to help a child shine and grow.

What the World Doesn’t See: A Letter to the Special Needs Mom

She’s not looking for applause. Just a moment to breathe. This one’s for her.

Dear Special Needs Mom,

They see you in the waiting rooms, filling out long forms with short answers.

They see you at school drop-offs, hovering just enough, smiling just enough.

They see your child’s progress charted in percentages. At the same time, you count victories in seconds of eye contact and one spoonful of food swallowed.

What they don’t see is the quiet storm you manage every day.

The Story They Don’t Tell

One mum told me how her son used to panic at the sound of flushing toilets. For months, she carried a small Bluetooth speaker in her handbag, playing forest sounds to mask the flush in public restrooms. She knew which malls had the quietest toilets. She knew how many seconds she had between the sound and the meltdown.

No one taught her that. No app prepared her for that level of tactical parenting.

She didn’t learn it from a manual. She learned it from watching, listening, failing, and trying again.

People praised her child for “finally using the toilet independently.”

No one praised her for months of holding space for fear, for lowering the water pressure, for gently exposing him to the sound in microdoses, for turning a place of terror into one of triumph.

The Real Gaps

Support services exist, yes. But the cracks in the system are broad and deep.

No one talks about how emotionally isolating it can be to raise a child who doesn’t fit the mould.There are few conversations about mum guilt when a session is missed because everyone just needs to rest.The burden of advocacy often falls on the very people who are already stretched thin, just trying to survive each day.

And yet, these mothers show up. In hospitals, on school WhatsApp groups, in centres, at playgrounds, and sometimes, silently, in the shadows of their own lives.

What Needs to Be Said

You are allowed to feel joy and grief in the same breath.

You are allowed to love your child fiercely and still wish things were easier.

You are allowed to cry in the car before the IEP meeting, then walk in with calm and grace.

None of this makes you weak. It makes you real.

There’s no gold star for hiding your pain. But there is healing in sharing it.

There is strength in letting others see the whole picture, not just the curated highlight reel.

If You’re Reading This and You Know a Special Needs Mom

Tell her she’s doing a good job, not just because her child is progressing, but because she continues to show up.

Offer to sit with her child for 20 minutes. It might mean she gets to drink her tea warm.

Listen without offering advice. Just listen.

If You Are That Mom

This is your reminder.

You are not doing it wrong.

You are not behind.

You are not invisible to the ones who truly see.

The love you pour into your child is rewriting generations of silence and shame.

You are building a world that is kinder, more flexible, and more human simply by being a part of it.

There will be hard days. And there will be small wins that feel like fireworks.

Hold on to those. Celebrate them fiercely.

You’re not alone.

Want to talk about your journey or just be heard?

I offer 1:1 consultations for mums, educators, and caregivers navigating neurodiversity.

Click here to book

And if this piece resonated with you, please leave a comment and let us know what you wish the world understood about being a special needs mom.

Recommended ResourcesFree Courses to Support You and Your Team Working with Students with Special Educational Needs – A practical course offering strategies for understanding disabilities, building individualised learning plans, and tailoring your approach for children with ADHD and other needs. Diploma in Special Needs – Covers foundational techniques like visual schedules, managing meltdowns, and gentle steps toward daily skills, perfect for parents and educators. Special Needs School Shadow Support – Focused on one‑to‑one assistance in school settings, teaching tools to handle anxiety, build social inclusion, and support transitions with calm consistency.

These courses are free to enrol in and offer certificates that are ideal for shadow teachers, educators, or any caregiver seeking a deeper understanding and confidence.

Therapeutic Tools You Can Use at Home or in the Classroom

Building a portable kit with sensory items and play-based tools can make all the difference during challenging moments. Here are items many professionals use:

Kids’ Kabinet Sensory Play Kit – Oceaan : This compact set includes textured items, water-magic beads, and colour-rich tools that are great for engaging a child’s attention, calming restlessness, and sparking creative expression during transitions or emotional shifts. Muffik Sensory Path XXL Puzzle Mat : A soft, puzzle‑style floor path perfect for movement breaks. It encourages body awareness and breaks up long stretches of sitting with playful stepping and balancing.

Also consider these:

A basic sand‑tray miniatures set (100+ pieces)A child-focused emotional intelligence kit with feelings dice, calming tools, and visual aidsWhy These Help

These kits support self-soothing through hands-on interaction. A sensory play kit can divert overstimulation. A movement mat offers a structured way to manage energy. A sand tray or emotion kit can help children name, contain, and process big feelings all in playful, low-pressure ways. These align with the gentle yet intentional methods discussed in the blog, providing small tools that can lead to significant changes.

What You Can Do Next

If you’re a parent, consider assembling a small kit to use at home. Having a few go-to items at the ready can reduce frustration and boost calm.

Suppose you’re a shadow teacher or educator. In that case, having a portable kit on hand can create seamless opportunities for regulation and connection in class.

Want help choosing what will suit your child or group? I offer 1:1 consultations to build personalised support plans.

Book a call here

Tell us in the comments below:

Which of these resources feels most helpful to you right now?