When Starting Feels Too Hard: Why Brains Freeze and Tasks Stall

Understanding the invisible roadblocks of executive functioning

“Just start.”

Two words that sound simple.

But for many neurodiverse children and adults, those words are the equivalent of shouting instructions from the shore to someone lost in a foggy sea.

It’s not that they don’t want to begin.

It’s that their brain hasn’t landed on the how.

The Colouring Sheets That Never Got Coloured

A few weeks ago, my son was bubbling with excitement.

He asked me to print fifteen PJ Masks colouring pages. He had big plans; he wanted to colour them all, line them up like an art gallery, and maybe even stick them on his cupboard.

I printed them.

Day one: he couldn’t stop. He coloured like his hands were on fire. He skipped meals, humming away, completely immersed.

Day two: still interested, but needed a reminder.

Day three: I nudged him to colour. He half-heartedly scribbled on one.

By the end of the week? The sheets lay untouched. Even after several reminders, they sat there crisp, blank, and slightly crumpled under toys.

At first glance, it looks like he lost interest. Or maybe he gave up.

But that’s not the real story.

The real issue was that he couldn’t figure out how to re-enter the activity. His excitement fizzled, and now it was a task. The steps blurred. The energy dropped. And asking for help or direction felt like another thing he didn’t have the words for.

What’s Really Going On?

This isn’t about colouring sheets.

It’s about executive functioning, the part of the brain responsible for starting, organising, prioritising, and following through.

Here’s what often happens for many children (and adults) with ADHD or executive functioning challenges:

They get overwhelmed by options. Even if they want to begin, they don’t know where to start.They’re not sure what’s “important” to begin with. Everything feels equally significant, urgent, or unclear.They don’t ask for help because they can’t figure out what kind of help to ask for.They struggle to break down large ideas into small, doable steps. So they freeze or appear disinterested.

This pattern shows up in classrooms, homes, offices, and friendships. A teen might never start that school project. A teacher might never delegate tasks to the assistant. A parent might struggle to sort through an overflowing inbox or a messy home.

What we see on the surface: avoidance, forgetfulness, lack of motivation.

What’s really happening: decision fatigue, internal chaos, emotional overwhelm.

Where the World Gets It Wrong

The message society often sends, especially in schools, is:

“You just have to try harder. Be responsible. Manage your time better. Ask for help.”

But we rarely teach how.

We don’t break it down.

We expect delegation and initiation to come naturally.

For neurodiverse individuals, these aren’t default skills. They need to be modelled, supported, and practised.

So What Can We Do Differently?

We can start by offering scaffolding instead of judgment.

Here’s what that looks like:

Visual choices. Instead of saying “Go colour something,” lay out two sheets and ask, “Which one do you feel like doing today?”Chunk the task. Break large plans into small pieces. Don’t say “Clean your room.” Try, “Let’s start with the books. Can you stack them here?”Co-delegate. Model delegation. Let them see you asking for help in real time, and narrate your process.Name the stuck feeling. “I see you really wanted to do this, and now it feels hard to begin. That happens to me, too. Let’s try the first bit together.”Celebrate attempts, not just completions. Motivation comes from success, not pressure.Final Thoughts: From Mountains to Ladders

When someone can’t begin or doesn’t delegate, it’s rarely about attitude.

It’s about architecture, how their brain is wired, and whether we’re giving them bridges or just more cliffs.

What feels like a small task to one person can feel like climbing a staircase with no steps to another.

Instead of pushing them to start, let’s meet them where they are.

Let’s give them the first step.

And remind them they don’t have to climb alone.

Let’s Talk

Have you ever felt stuck on a task you were excited about?

What helps you or your child move from “I want to” to “I can”?

Share your story in the comments, and if you’d like personalised strategies and support:

book a 1:1 consultation with meRecommended Resources

Understand Your Brain, Get More Done: The ADHD Executive Functions Workbook

This practical workbook helps children, teens, and adults identify their executive function challenges and apply simple, art‑inspired activities to build skills in planning, task initiation, and managing overwhelm. Pages are engaging and easy to use, perfect for shadow teachers or parents guiding neurodiverse learners.

Reusable Memo Board To‑Do List

A tactile, visual tool designed to help learners break tasks down and track progress. Ideal for educators and parents working with neurodiverse children who benefit from seeing each step clearly. Moveable sticky notes help reinforce a sense of completion and motivation.

Online Course

Child Development: Executive Functions

Free, self‑paced, beginner‑level course that explores how executive functions develop in childhood and offers strategies educators and parents can use to strengthen planning, decision‑making, and task initiation. Great for shadow teachers, therapists, and professionals seeking foundational knowledge and practical techniques.

Each resource is selected to support the main challenges discussed in the blog: making beginnings and delegation more manageable by breaking tasks into enjoyable, straightforward, and scaffolded steps.

Feel free to preview these tools and see which one best fits your learners’ needs.