When “Why Does Your Chest Look Different?” Opens the Door: Talking About Puberty with Your Child

I remember the exact moment it happened. We were reading Amazing You—a book I bought a year ago to help introduce my son to body changes as he grows. Back then, he wasn’t interested. But last week, while we were snuggled in the corner with the book open, he looked up at me and said, “Mumma, why does your chest look different from Daddy’s?”

That simple question unlocked a door I hadn’t realized was waiting to be opened. Then came the follow-up: “Will I have hair there too?”

If you’re a parent, you probably know the mix of surprise, curiosity, and “Uh-oh, what do I say?” that comes with those moments. And if your child is neurodiverse—like my son with ADHD—those questions might arrive in ways that feel sudden or unexpected.

Why Puberty Talks Can Feel So Hard

Puberty is a time of significant physical and emotional changes. Yet, many parents find it challenging to start conversations because of:

Awkwardness: Talking about private parts or body changes can feel embarrassing or taboo.Timing: Kids might not show interest until a particular moment—sometimes suddenly, sometimes gradually.Neurodiversity factors: Children with ADHD or other neurodiverse profiles may struggle to process or express feelings about these changes or may have particular sometimes blunt questions.Lack of tools: Many parents aren’t sure where to find age-appropriate language or resources.

Ignoring or rushing through these talks can unintentionally make kids feel ashamed or confused. However, when we approach these moments with calmness, openness, and honesty, we create a safe space where they can healthily understand their bodies and emotions.

How to Make Puberty Talks Easier and More Effective

Here are some practical ideas that helped me—both professionally and personally:

·       Follow Their Lead

Instead of planning a big “puberty talk,” let your child’s questions guide the conversation. When they ask something, pause, listen, and respond with simple honesty.

·       Use Books and Stories

Books like Amazing You are wonderful because they explain changes with gentle illustrations and clear, kid-friendly language. Reading together invites curiosity without pressure.

·       Normalize Feelings

It’s okay for your child to feel curious, confused, or even uncomfortable. Say things like, “Lots of kids wonder about this,” or “I felt the same way when I was your age.” This helps reduce anxiety around the topic.

·       Keep It Simple and Revisit Often

You don’t need to explain everything in one go. Puberty is a journey, not a one-time talk. Keep revisiting the topic as your child grows and their questions evolve.

·       Create a Visual or Play-Based Activity

For kids who learn best through play or visuals (especially many neurodiverse children), try drawing body outlines and labelling changes or using dolls or action figures to discuss growth and feelings.

Actionable Activity: “My Growing Body” Drawing Game

Here’s a fun and calming activity you can do together to make puberty less scary and more understandable:

What you need: Paper, crayons or markers, and a quiet corner.

Step 1: Draw a simple outline of a human body on a big sheet of paper.

Step 2: Invite your child to add features they notice changing or are curious about — hair, height, voice, skin, etc.

Step 3: Discuss each change as it is added. Use simple words like “Your voice might get deeper” or “Hair can grow in new places.”

Step 4: Add feelings, too! Ask, “How do you feel about these changes?” Let your child express any worries or excitement.

Step 5: Keep the drawing somewhere visible so you can add to it over time, making this a gentle, ongoing conversation.

Final Thoughts

Puberty can feel like a mountain for parents and kids alike, but it doesn’t have to be scary or awkward. When you respond to curiosity with kindness and openness—especially if your child experiences the world a little differently—you build trust and confidence that lasts a lifetime.

Remember, this journey is about walking alongside your child, step by step, question by question, creating a safe space for all the wonders and worries growing up brings.

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Book Your 1:1 ConsultationRecommended Resources to Support Your Child’s Puberty Journey

Navigating the journey of puberty can be smoother with the right resources. Here are some handpicked books and courses that can guide both you and your child through this transformative phase:

Books for ChildrenGulu – The Essential Guide To Puberty For Boys (English): A fun and informative guide that answers common questions boys have about body changes, emotions, and relationships. Culturally sensitive and medically accurate, it’s a great conversation starter.Growing Up Great!The Ultimate Puberty Book for Boys: This book provides a positive and empowering approach to understanding puberty, enabling boys to navigate the changes with confidence.A Girl’s Guide to Puberty & Periods: An illustrated, body-positive book designed for girls aged 9-14, covering topics from body changes to emotional well-being.The Puberty Book: A Guide for Children and Teenagers provides straightforward information on the physical and emotional changes that occur during puberty, suitable for both boys and girls.Menstrupedia Comic: The Friendly Guide to Periods for Girls is a comic-style book that explains menstruation and puberty in a relatable and engaging way, aiming to break taboos and promote understanding.Courses for Parents and EducatorsBasic Guide to Puberty and Gender: A free online course that provides an inclusive overview of puberty, covering physical, mental, and social changes, along with practical guidance for supporting teens.Diploma in Child Psychology and Development. This course explores the stages of child development, providing insights into emotional and behavioural changes during adolescence and equipping parents and educators with the knowledge to support children’s growth.Basics of Child Development & Wellbeing Explore theories of child development and learn how to create a supportive environment for young minds, focusing on the physical and emotional transitions during puberty.

These resources are designed to empower both you and your child with knowledge and understanding, making the journey through puberty a positive and informed experience.