Because No Child Should Hate School: A Wake-Up Call for Parents and Educators

He stood at the gate, his little hands clenched around my kurti. “Please don’t make me go,” he whispered.

My son, usually the spark of our mornings, had tears in his eyes. He wasn’t being dramatic. He wasn’t just “having a phase.” This was a child who loved dancing to Jack Hartmann songs, led pretend concerts in our living room, and had a curious, questioning mind.

And yet, here he was—begging to stay home.

I froze. Not because I didn’t know what to say—but because I did.

School Shouldn’t Break a Child’s Spirit

We often discuss education as a form of empowerment. But for many neurodiverse children, school becomes a battleground. Not because they don’t want to learn but because the environment doesn’t accommodate the way they learn.

From fluorescent lights that overstimulate to the pressure of sitting still for hours, from rigid expectations to misunderstood behaviours—school, a place meant to inspire, can sometimes do the exact opposite.

I see this all too often:

Children are labelled as “disruptive” when they’re just dysregulated.

Kids are punished for zoning out when they’re simply overwhelmed.

Little ones refuse to go to school not out of rebellion—but out of exhaustion.

Let’s Decode the Behaviour (Not Discipline It)

When a child says they hate school, our instinct is often to correct, lecture, or coax. But here’s what we miss:

Behaviour is communication.

Just like adults avoid toxic workplaces, kids avoid classrooms that feel unsafe—emotionally, physically, or mentally. And for a child with sensory sensitivities, anxiety, or an undiagnosed learning difficulty, even small triggers feel like mountains.

Here’s what might be happening behind the scenes:

A teacher uses fast-paced, complex instructions that your child struggles to process.Loud classrooms that feel like noise tunnels.Group tasks that spark social anxiety.Worksheets filled with print too dense for tired little eyes.What Helped My Son (and Many Kids I Work With)

Here’s the thing—I didn’t “fix” my son. I understood him. And then, I worked with his teachers to create a more supportive environment. Here’s what made the difference:

Visual routines at home and school – He could see what to expect. That calmed the chaos.Choice boards – Letting him choose between two tasks gave him control, not just instructions.Movement breaks – Dance breaks, wall push-ups, or just a quick walk during homework reduced meltdowns.Emotion check-ins – Using a simple “how do I feel” chart helped him start expressing what words couldn’t.A buddy system – One friend who understood his pace and style made all the difference at school.Try This Today: “The School Feelings Jar”

A simple after-school emotional check-in activity

What You Need:

A jar (or bowl)5 coloured paper slips or emotional cards (Happy, Sad, Angry, Confused, Calm)

How to Use It:

Each day after school, ask your child to pick a colour or card that matches how they felt at school.

Then ask, “What made you feel that way?”

Don’t correct. Don’t judge. Just listen.

Over time, you’ll spot patterns—what triggers them, what helps them thrive.

Because Childhood Shouldn’t Hurt. And School Shouldn’t Either.

Let’s stop glorifying struggle as strength.

Let’s stop brushing off school resistance as laziness.

And most importantly, let’s start asking this simple question:

What does my child need to feel safe, not just smart?

Did your child ever say they hate school? What did you do? Share in the comments—your story might help another parent feel less alone.

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Want more actionable tips to create a supportive learning environment at home?10 Simple Tweaks to Make Your Home/Classroom Neurodiverse-Friendly

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Recommended ResourcesSensory tools to help regulate and engage Animal sensory mats : These tactile mats feature various textures and designs that encourage hands‑on exploration and help children with sensory processing needs feel grounded. Liquid bubble timers : Visually calming and soothing—great for calming a stressed or overwhelmed child during homework, transitions, or classroom breaks .

These are low-cost, easy-to-source sensory aids you or teachers can tuck into a calm‑down corner at home or school.

Free micro‑courses to deepen your understanding Inclusive Event Planning for Neurodiversity : Learn practical strategies to create environments—whether event, classroom, or home—that actively affirm and include neurodiverse children. Understanding the Autism Spectrum Disorder : A concise, 1–3‑hour psychology course covering how to support autistic learners by focusing on strengths and resilience.

Both are free to enrol, immediately applicable, and empower parents and educators to make small shifts with a significant impact.

How to use these together:Start small – Add a sensory mat or liquid timer to your child’s workspace.Pair it with knowledge – Enroll in one of the micro-courses to understand why these tools work.Reflect and adapt – Use insights from the courses to notice subtle changes in your child’s behaviour and fine-tune your environment accordingly.

By combining simple sensory tools with purpose-driven learning, you’re not just offering support—you’re crafting spaces where children feel understood, safe, and capable.