Amy Alkon's Blog, page 23

Who'll Stop The Reign

Out of nowhere, a male friend started criticizing me, telling me that I need to change careers to make more money. He does have a successful business (started with seed money from his extremely wealthy family). But I didn't ask for his advice, and besides, I love my job, and I'm working on what I need to do to move forward. So I ended up snapping at him. He got mad and insisted that he just wants the best for me.

--Steamed

Criticizing someone does not make them want to change; it makes them w...

Between A Squawk And A Hard Place

I'm a 32-year-old gay man, and my boyfriend of three years sometimes vents to his friends about our relationship. I feel a little betrayed by this -- like my privacy's being violated. Why can't he figure things out on his own -- without bringing in a jury?

--Disturbed

A few years back, a woman with a grudge against my assistant called me to try to get me to fire her: "She talks trash about you!" Me: "Everybody talks trash about their boss!"

The truth is, we all do a lot of grousing to others...

Fairy Bail Romance

I'm a 66-year-old man. I got married in my mid-20s. I was totally faithful, but my wife left me after 10 years (I think for another woman). I was with the next woman for 20 years. Again, I was faithful, but she left me, too. Is being faithful overrated? I thought it was the way to secure a relationship.

--Failed Relationships

Keeping a marriage together by being faithful is important -- but it's also a step above keeping a marriage together by not being dead. (Note that the marriage ceremony...

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A Hard Yuk Story

I'm a 34-year-old struggling comic. My girlfriend is a 29-year-old children's therapist. We've been together for a year. She wants to move in with me, wants me to meet her parents -- adult relationship stuff that I don't feel ready for now. I love her, but I live in a studio without a kitchen. I don't even have a car. As a man, I want to be a "provider" for the woman in my life. She doesn't want to wait.

--Don't Wanna Lose Her

On the upside, you aren't without savings. There's that jar with a...

A Scar Is Born

My guy friend said my problem with men is that I keep forgetting who I am. According to him, I'm smart, beautiful, accomplished, funny, and super-cool but the moment I like a guy, I act weirdly needy and turn guys off. How do I change this?

--Clingy

In presenting yourself to others, you're like the world's worst used-car salesman: "Fantastic deathtrap for the price! Just the thing to strand you on a desert highway and leave you crawling on your hands and knees over rocky, snake-infested terra...

Youth Hostile

I'm a 35-year-old woman who's been married for a year to a 70-year-old man. My husband's closest female friend is also one of his exes. He's known her for 40 years. She's a real sore point for me. She stayed at our apartment while we were away. She wouldn't reply to any of my emails but constantly emailed my husband. Recently, I saw a text my husband sent telling her to just email him at work because I have access to his phone. (That's how I discovered that she was dissuading him from fixing...

No Girls Aloud

I'm a female comic, so being smart and funny and having a strong personality is basically my job, as well as who I am. A friend had me stop by his business meeting at a cafe so he could introduce me to his client he was hoping to set me up with. I tend to show off when I'm nervous (going big, loud, and funny), and I apparently terrified the guy. My friend scolded me, telling me it's a turnoff for men to have to compete with a woman. Come on! I'd be thrilled to have a partner who is smarter an...

What's Not To Lick

I'm friends with this guy. Only friends, and he knows it. But lately, we'll be on the phone, talking about our businesses, and he'll suddenly start talking dirty (saying sex things he wants to do with me). I just make a joke and get off the phone, but then he'll do it again the next time. How do I get him to stop?

--Uncomfortable

You get a lot out of your friendship -- but last you checked your Venmo, not $2.99 a minute.

There you are, talking about your plans for the third quarter, and the...

Eat, Gray, Love

I am almost 50 but look much younger, and I'm noticing that a number of the guys who are pursuing me are in their early 30s. I'm flattered but not really interested, as I want to get married again and I'm thinking that these guys are too young to consider that and probably want to have babies. Am I a magnet for guys with mommy issues? What gives?

--Puzzled

Nothing like rolling up to your guy's band's gig and having everybody be all "Mike, your mom's here!"

As for these young whippersnappers'...