Amy Alkon's Blog, page 2

On Crowd Nine

I'm a 43-year-old woman in my second marriage with a man who's also on his second marriage. We are both determined to make this marriage our last! We have a scheduled date night. We make sure sex happens weekly. I'd like to know whether there are other things we can do to keep from walking down the aisle a third time.

--Hopeful

In some marriages, somebody could lose consciousness and it wouldn't be all that noticeable.

Date nights are good for keeping the marital jets firing, as is having se...

Bare Tracks

My boyfriend asked me for nude photos of myself. I reluctantly sent him one. I feel very uncomfortable about sending it, and I don't want to send more -- though sending naked pics now seems very common. Am I paranoid?

--Online Privacy Fan

Unfortunately, "online privacy" is one of the more absurdo oxymorons -- a contradiction in terms on the level of "planned spontaneity," "working vacation," and my favorite: "civil war." (The warring factions yell "Thank you!" and "No, thank you!" across the t...

Mute Point

I'm a guy in my early 20s. I love my older brother and look up to him. But starting in high school, girls flocked to him, and he was crowned prom king, though I'm objectively more attractive. Recently, a girl I really liked and became friends with started dating him after I introduced them at a party. Neither knew about my feelings for her because I never told them, but I now feel resentful and envious of my brother.

--Bitter

Ideally, if a woman is asked to guess your "spirit animal," her an...

Venus Envy

I got a boob job two years ago. My best friend, seeing the results, wanted one, too. When she realized she couldn't afford it, she started making snide comments about women who get them. Recently, a guy was hitting on me at a party, and she started flirting with him and asked, "Do you think I need a boob job?" and told him I'd gotten one. I was shocked. I'd like to say something to her, but she's the louder part of my friend group, and I'm unsure how.

--Disturbed

Self-defense for men is karate...

Foresee Sick

I'm good friends with an ex. She's a great person, but we just don't work romantically. For two years, I've been seeing a woman I love and want a future with. She initially said she was fine with my friendship with my ex. Two months ago, she said she was uncomfortable with it and it might even be a deal breaker. How is it fair for her to decide this now?

--Don't Wanna Dump A Friend

There are a number of things absent from straight men's friendships with other men -- namely how two dudes boozin...

Bed Over Backward

I'm a female college freshman. I was always told that college was the ideal place to find a partner. Disappointingly, there are many more women than men in my year. I want to date a guy and get to know him before having sex, but most of the women seem to hook up right away. I worry that I can't compete with them, as I'm not comfortable with that trend of behavior.

--Old-Fashioned

Your body is your temple! Unfortunately, much of your female competition on campus sees theirs that way, too -- onl...

Sorry, Wrong Num-Num

I love my boyfriend. We've been together two years. Recently, however, we've been experiencing conflict over the issue of children. He wants kids; I don't. I've always felt strongly about this, and he said he was fine with this when we started dating. But he's been bringing up the subject of kids a lot lately (I suspect because he's thinking about popping the question). The discussions have grown fraught -- to the point where he was in tears at the end of an argument. I eventually said I could b...

Bedder Later

I'm a woman in my 20s seeking a boyfriend. On the first date, I like to have a few drinks and, if the guy and I hit it off, have sex to see whether we have physical chemistry. Lately, I've had a string of great first dates -- flowing conversation, emotional rapport, and what seemed to be long-term potential -- yet they all ghosted me after sex. Are men still living in the Victorian Age?

--Confused

The wait to have sex with you mirrors the mandatory waiting period to buy a plastic squirt gun.

...

Ghosting Story

I'm a straight guy using dating apps. What's with the constant flaking guy friends and I experience from women we're meeting for first dates? One woman on Hinge texted me to confirm 30 minutes before we were meeting at a bar but never showed and stopped responding to my texts. The next day, she complained that her phone had died. Another girl on Bumble agreed to have drinks, but when I texted her the day of, she unmatched. This extreme rudeness only happens with women I meet on dating apps, not ...

The Fastidious And The Furious

I'm a divorced guy in my 40s. I was at a bar with friends and went over to talk with a woman I found really attractive. Though she wasn't the friendliest, I asked to take her to dinner. She said she'd think about it and then asked for my Instagram. Several days later, I texted her, and she agreed to go out. We've since had a few dates, but I'm bothered that she wouldn't go out with me until she'd scoured my social media. What does that suggest about her?

--Offended

You don't expect much from a...