Amy Alkon's Blog, page 3

Plan Bae

I had this amazing chemistry with a guy I met at a wedding. Then he casually dropped that he's in a new relationship of about six months. A mutual friend told me the guy isn't too happy with the woman and feels he's "settling." The guy's been texting me in what seems to be a purely friendly way. Still, if I were his girlfriend, I'd be pretty upset.

--Confused About His Intentions

Say your car skids off the road in North Nowhere and you wake up trapped in the driver's seat with zero bars on you...

The Camera Sutra

I really like the girl I'm dating, except for one thing. On every date, she asks me to take photos of her for Instagram. Afterward, she consults me repeatedly on which will "get the most likes." I'm starting to get really annoyed, and I find it cuts into my enjoyment of our time together. She even did this on my birthday!

--Irritated

Psychologist Erich Fromm wrote, "Mature love says: 'I need you because I love you.'" He died in 1980, 30-some years before Instagram-infused love: "I need you, lo...

Disappear Pressure

I recently met this guy, and we've spent the entire past week together. Unfortunately, he's moving across the country -- tomorrow. He asked whether I'd be open to dating after he moved. I panicked and said no -- I'm really not looking for long-distance -- but now that he's leaving, I'm sad, and I'm worried I've made a mistake. Help!

--Confused

Obstacles to love are like situational steroids. We long for what's out of reach -- and all the more romantic if reaching it takes crossing the desert o...

Tales From The Decrypted

I really appreciate my boyfriend, except for one thing: his constantly posting photos and videos that include me on his Facebook or Instagram. I'm a pretty private person, and I told him I don't like having my life and our life together posted online. He grudgingly agreed to stop posting things about me, but he thinks I'm being unreasonable and "paranoid."

--Discreet

"Online privacy" is a quaint fiction. The reality: Any info about you, from your sexts to your Social Security number, is probab...

On Cloudy Nine

I'm having this undefined thing with this great woman I see just about nightly. She ended a toxic relationship seven months ago, and I'm still recovering from a terrible breakup. We're great friends, crack each other up, are extremely honest with each other, and have great sex. Should we try to label this? I worry this free love/no-strings-attached approach can't last.

--Troubled

Zoos have cages so the lions don't wander through suburbia, snacking on children and labradoodles.

Commitment ser...

Liar Drill

I'm a guy, and a female friend asked me to objectively rate her looks on a scale of 1 to 10. She has a very high opinion of her looks, but she insisted she wanted the truth, so I told her I'd put her at a 5.5 or 6. Afterward, she sent me a text about boundaries and said she's cutting me out of her life -- for being honest like she asked me to!

--Burned

If there were a class in "how to be a heterosexual man," lesson one would be how to answer a woman's questions about her appearance. She'll in...

Brawl Straps

I'm a woman in my early 20s. The guy I'm dating brought me to meet his friends. His male friends were warm and friendly. The women were awful. One deliberately kept saying my name wrong (it's not exactly exotic), and two others glared at my miniskirt. Another said something about how low-cut my top was. She made it sound like a compliment, but it was a mean dig. How can these women be so nasty when they don't even know me? How do I diffuse situations like these?

--Upset

Nothing like women cel...

Quarantine Wolf

I'm a guy in my 30s. Before COVID, I used Tinder to hook up with different women a few times a week. I don't recognize myself anymore. Yesterday, I was on a date, and the girl was really hot and wanted to go back to my place to have sex. I was weirdly turned off by the idea and called her an Uber home. This isn't like me, but it keeps happening. Why am I suddenly like this?

--Worried

If we hadn't gotten vaccines, we might've seen a whole new category of lingerie, a la Victoria's Crotchless Haz...

Hollow Sheldon

Call me old-fashioned, but I find humility attractive, and I'm disturbed by the lack of it in a guy I've been dating. He seems to need to keep telling me how desirable he is, like by mentioning he dated some Instagram model and saying, "I'm used to being the smartest guy in the room," when he initially lied about going to a top-tier university and had actually failed out of community college. I find his lack of humility to be a big turnoff, but my friends keep telling me not to be stupid: He's a...

Bond Scare

My roommate and I are best friends, and we've lived together for four years. Recently, she got into a pretty serious relationship, and it seems her priorities have totally shifted. Is a best friend always second place to a boyfriend? Or are they both of equal value?

--Hurt

A female best friend can do a lot to make you happy -- even give you a baby -- though she'll have to wait till the NICU nurse gets busy and kidnap one for you.

It can feel like a betrayal to be downgraded in your bestie's ...