Amy Alkon's Blog, page 4

Haste Crime

After my third date with a guy, he texted and asked why we hadn't had sex yet. I was taking it slow-ish because I was trying to figure out whether I liked him (and vice versa). I was pretty annoyed at his question, and we agreed we should stop seeing each other. Well, last week, he started texting me again. Nothing groundbreaking, just "hey" and "what's up." What's his deal -- does he want another chance? Do I give it to him?

--Unsure

You probably like to wait to have sex till a guy shows you...

Thin Line Between Love And Bait

My relationship with a man I'd been dating was getting serious. His previous relationship ended when his girlfriend dumped him. Last month, he ran into her and told her he was seeing me. She began crying and begged him to take her back. He was torn about what to do. I told him his feelings for her weren't romantic but stemmed from a sense of obligation, and that he should be angry at her for trying to make him feel bad about moving on with someone else. He still went back to her, and now they're...

When Hair Gel Met Sally

I'm a 28-year-old woman. My boyfriend of three months is a great person, and I started to think he might be The One. However, he got a new haircut -- one that had him using excessive gel. Looking at him, I felt a wave of revulsion and needed to get away...permanently. I don't understand the sudden change in my feelings.

--Disgusted

You, like many women, want a man who appears to have the grooming routine of a golden lab: running across the lawn when the sprinklers are on and then shaking off. ...

Brothel, Where Art Thou

My male roommate began having women over for one-night stands almost daily, even meeting one for the first time at our apartment with no heads-up for me. I'm a woman and very careful about whom I have over: usually only friends I've known for a while. I'm uncomfortable having my space constantly intruded on by strangers, but he seems surprisingly unaware of this.

--Unsettled

You need a needlepoint for the kitchen wall: "Home sweet sex den."

People who live with roommates tend to make allowan...

They Blow Up So Fast

I'm a man in my 30s, and I'm looking to settle down and start a family. I was falling in love with the woman I've been seeing for six months, who seems lovely, intelligent, and kind. Recently, I arrived at her place early and overheard her arguing with her mother on the phone. She was yelling, swearing, and being very nasty. I'm close to my parents and can't conceive of speaking to them this way. She never mentions her parents, beyond saying she isn't close with her mother. She's only been sweet...

Platonic Bomb

A guy I know grates on me because he only has female friends. He apparently tried to get involved with each of them at some point but got rejected. Why doesn't he find male friends instead of preying on women (under the guise of friendship) who probably trust him not to hit on them?

--Disgusted

This guy probably lives in eternal hope about each female friend, dreaming of the day he can be of service when she drops something on his floor -- like her panties.

Though you don't mention him tryin...

Hex And The City

My ex cheated on me and conned me financially, but before I realized this, I had really fallen for him. I miss him and keep thinking about him every day, and I can't seem to stop. A friend suggested I get a spell from a witchcraft store. She insists this helped her have closure after her bad breakup. I'm a rational person, and this sounds completely ridiculous, but nothing I've tried (from meditation to venting to total strangers to dating other people) has helped. Please tell me this is complet...

Leave Actually

I broke up with a guy I dated very briefly and said it'd be best for me if we didn't maintain contact. He respected this for a while, but he's suddenly all over my social media, not just "liking" but often "loving" my posts. I hate being led to think about him. Is there a kind way to ask him to stop?

--Creeped Out

Sometimes a person fails to grasp that "It's best we don't maintain contact" means "Go away forever, human stain."

You're being "orbited," culture reporter Anna Iovine's word for ...

Hate-Loss Diet

Last year, I broke up with the man I was engaged to and loved deeply. I'd found out he was cheating on me constantly with many different women throughout our relationship. My life has gone on, but I often think of what he did to me and feel incredible anger. I'd like to forgive him, but I'm not sure how to do that when these feelings pop up throughout my week.

--Stuck

It's hard to move on emotionally when you not only have a grudge but take it everywhere with you like a cockroach on a little y...

Glued-In Allergy

I've been dating a guy for three months, and I'd like us to be exclusive, but I don't know how to go about addressing it. I'm worried that if I say I need him to commit, he'll feel pressured and bolt.

--Quandary

For a man, agreeing to go exclusive is a bit like wedding vows lite, as posed to the man's penis: "Do you swear off sex with all the other ladies forever?" Penis: "Frankly, that sounds a little grim."

Men evolved to have the hots for sexual variety -- casual sex with a slew-apalooza o...