Amy Alkon's Blog, page 7

Morose-Colored Glasses

I'm a woman in my 20s. Some stuff in my life was going really wrong, and I got depressed. I didn't tell people, but it had to be obvious. I distanced myself from my group of girlfriends, meaning I missed birthday parties, didn't respond to group texts, and was overall not a great friend. Still, I did what I could, like taking a friend for a spa day after missing her birthday the week before. Weeks later, I learned she was still harboring resentment that I had missed her birthday. Don't I deserve...

Bad Harem Day

I'm a 31-year-old woman, and I recently started dating a guy about my age. We've gone on five dates, but we haven't had sex, as I wanted to take things slowly. He's been okay with that, but I'm quite certain he's sleeping around elsewhere. I hate the idea of him having sex with other women. Still, we aren't at the level of being committed, and I'm not comfortable having sex with him yet. What do you recommend I do?

--Disturbed

As you see it, the free-range penis should be more like those fact...

Old Is The New Black

What are your thoughts on women who are involved with much younger men? A friend who's my age, 58, is dating a 23-year-old guy. She started seeing him when he was 18 and refers to him as her "husband." I went on a day trip with the two of them, and it honestly felt like we had a child in tow. He whines and pouts to get his way, feels a need to one-up everybody in conversation, and says and does weirdly inappropriate things (like skipping through a graveyard and talking openly about his sexual pr...

Job Corpse

My girlfriend of a year is beautiful, intelligent, sweet, and loving and the first woman I could see having a future with. Last week, I was told I'm being laid off from my job at a large media conglomerate. I haven't told anyone, but I'm feeling increasingly guilty for keeping it a secret from my girlfriend. The thing is I'm afraid she'll think less of me, even if she pretends not to. To be honest, I'd rather break up with her than tell her.

--Distraught

Ideally, when you propose a date-night...

Stainless Steal

I'm a woman in my 20s with a friend who often copies my style. It feels like she's trying to one-up me, but I've tried to ignore it. Well, for years, I've rimmed my lower eye with thick black kohl. She commented on it several weeks ago and then started doing it herself. At lunch yesterday, she said (about my eyeliner): "You started doing that? I've done it forever." This is the third time she's pretended my style she copied was hers first, but I feel petty being upset about it.

--Unflattered...

Stare Way To Heaven

I'm a girl in my early 20s, and I recently started dating a guy I met in college. I'm very happy, except for one issue: For as long as I've known him, he's followed Instagram accounts of attractive women with provocative photos (ranging from half-naked to entirely naked), and he'll "like" these pics. This really bothers me; however, I don't want to be the overbearing girlfriend. Why does he do this, and does it matter?

--Disturbed

There's a certain kind of man who's drawn to the sight of hal...

Blarenaked Ladies

Whenever I feel like I click with someone, I want to be upfront and tell them I like them right away. My friends all say this is dating suicide (and that's how it's been working out for me). But if I'm looking for emotional honesty in a partner, shouldn't I lead with it?

--Confused

If we're arrested, we have a right to remain silent. Ideally, we don't just confess: "That was me, robbing the 7-Eleven. See -- there on the video -- that's my hair."

Best practices for criminals are also helpful ...

Dad Man Walking

I'm a 33-year-old woman with a male partner in his late 30s. We eventually want children, and I've been considering having my eggs frozen. My doctor suggested my boyfriend should consider freezing his sperm. He is a "manly man" type, and his masculinity is a strong part of his identity. How can I keep him from being insulted and angry if I suggest he look into sperm freezing?

--Aspiring Mom

Unfortunately, the men with the healthiest sperm are the 20-somethings who have trouble sustaining adult...

Ancestry Dot Con

I'm a single woman in my mid-30s with an older half brother I haven't seen in 20 years. He started calling me several years ago, and we speak sporadically (always instigated by him). He's married and refers to me as the aunt to his four children (whom I've never met). Recently, he asked whether they could all stay with me for a while. On the next call, he asked to borrow money. I have yet to give him answers. I can't help but suspect he just intended to use me all along. Is there a way to figure...

Laddy Issues

I'm a woman in my early 20s. My friends say I have "daddy issues," because I tend to date men in their 30s. (I do have a decent relationship with my dad). I find men in their 20s generally immature, slobby, and inconsiderate, with limited communication skills (and no desire to improve them). I can't see how being frustrated with that means there's something wrong with me, but I hear "daddy issues" so much I'm starting to wonder.

--Annoyed

Live with a 20-something manchild and you get the idea ...