Amy Alkon's Blog, page 27

Jenny From The Flock

I hit it off with this guy I met on Match.com. We've been dating for a month and slept together twice. He said he'd delete his Match profile because things were going so well, so I deleted mine. Recently, a mutual friend told me he'd just gone on Tinder. I'm super upset, and though we didn't have the exclusivity talk, it seemed implied.

--Dumbfounded

Okay, so it seems he didn't quite get around to mailing out the formal invitations to the funeral for his freedom.

Now, the guy may be an out-...

Girl Loves Oy

I'm a woman who wants a serious relationship, and a happily married friend is urging me to go on Jdate. I'm not Jewish and not interested in converting. Wouldn't people be mad I'm on there?

--Husband-Seeking

Men on FarmersOnly would be understandably annoyed if I posted a profile there, as my idea of farming is keeping a houseplant alive for more than a year.

But this site is called Jdate, not JewsOnly. Sure, some will be annoyed to find a nice non-Jewish girl like you there, but there are o...

Pouter Keg

My girlfriend, who'd been traveling, lost track of what day it was and was surprised when I showed up on the usual night I come cook her dinner. She was happy to see me but said she needed to finish this one "urgent work email." How nice. Dinner would get cold while she took forever. Instead of getting started in the kitchen, I sat down angrily on the couch. "What's wrong?" she asked. I said, "I'll just sit here till you're ready!" She got angry, saying that I should have just asked her how l...

Hi, Anxiety!

I'm a 29-year-old woman. My boyfriend of a year is a wonderful guy. I've always been a jealous person -- very insecure about whether a guy really cares and is being faithful. I ruined my last relationship (with a nice, decent guy) by snooping in his email -- finding nothing. I've started seeing a therapist, who tells me I am "anxiously attached." She's helping me work on this. My boyfriend suggested I also write you to see whether he could do anything to help.

--Panicky

Many people find it co...

The Girl With The Draggin' Tattoo

I'm a 38-year-old single man. There's this very pretty, very nice female trainer I see at my gym. I'd ask her out except that she has a huge tattoo of a diamond on her neck. Ugh. Total deal breaker. If it were a hidden tattoo (leg, hip, etc.), I'd deal. But I just can't imagine myself or any guy bringing a girl with a huge neck tat home to meet the parents. Why would a woman do this?

--Hate Ink

A tattoo is a flesh billboard -- one that sends different messages to different people. For example...

Fly In My Soup Kitchen

I'm a 30-something woman questioning the long-term viability of my relationship. I work for a nonprofit in a community with a high level of volunteerism. My boyfriend is a therapist, so I think he wants to help others. He's kind and thoughtful toward me and his friends. However, he does no volunteer work or charitable giving. He'll sometimes offer a lower rate for people who can't afford therapy, but he'll qualify it by saying he needs to get people talking about him to generate more business...

Oliver Tryst

I'm a 34-year-old woman, and I've been with my boyfriend for three years. I've noticed a weird pattern. Guys looking for a fling get MORE interested instead of less when I tell them I'm in a relationship. I don't understand. Even if I were willing to step out on my boyfriend (which I'm not), why would any guy want a cheater?

--Committed

You're saying: "I have a boyfriend. Get lost." They're hearing: "Cool! I can get sex without the crying, the tampon runs, and the map on the nightstand for t...

Codger And Me

I'm a 22-year-old guy, but I look 14. Boomer co-workers often use me as an example of a bad millennial, attacking me for Dread Smartphone Overuse (conveniently forgetting that our work requires phone use for comms). Older co-workers often launch into unsolicited 40-minute lectures on the "college path" I should take. (Already graduated, thanks!) How can I gracefully deal with this demeaning treatment?

--Irritated

It's no surprise some of your older co-workers smear you as a "bad millennial."...

Can't Bi Me Love

I'm a bisexual 29-year-old woman. I just started dating an awesome guy and ultimately see myself in a long-term hetero relationship. However, though I've only dated a girl once, I am extremely aroused by women, and now I'm struggling to get turned on with my new partner.

--Blahs

There's an elephant in the room, but unfortunately, it isn't the kind you can climb on and ride off to the nearest girlbar.

Sexual orientation, as explained by Kinsey Institute research fellow Justin Lehmiller in "Tel...

Swarm Feelings

I've been flirting with two guys all year. I feel a connection and chemistry with both, but neither's asked me out yet. This weekend, I'm attending a going-away party of a grad student we all know, and I'm nervous that they'll both show up and ask me out. (There's also a third guy who seems interested.) What should I do? I wouldn't want to be one of somebody's many options.

--Feeling Unfair

The first few dates are the free trial period of romantic relationships. Think of it like accepting a...