Amy Alkon's Blog, page 31

Cloud None

I'm in love with my male best friend and unfortunately, I'm pretty sure he's never been attracted to me. This is very painful, and trying to stop thinking about him so much isn't working. To be fair, he isn't emotionally available right now, as he's still mourning his divorce (a little too long for it to be healthy, I think). I'm thinking that if I stay close and stay available, he may pick me once he becomes emotionally ready again. Is that crazy? I really want a relationship and am willing...

Waif Watchers

I'm a 33-year-old woman, and I've always been thin. I lost about 12 pounds after a tough breakup. I'm working on getting back to a healthier weight. However, people keep making cutting remarks about how thin I look. Yesterday a friend said, "You're so skinny it's gross!" I'd noticed that she'd gained quite a bit of weight, but I didn't say anything...because that would be rude! She made other digs about my weight, and upon hugging me goodbye, she said, "Eww, is that your shoulder bone?!" What...

You Had Me At Hell

I'm a married gay man, and I hate my in-laws. They were disgustingly abusive to my husband when he was a child. They're in failing health now, and it's important to him to visit them a couple of times a year. How do I get through these mandatory trips?

--Dreading It

It's probably tempting to buy his family the sort of classic furniture you think they deserve. Unfortunately, they only ship that model of chair to prisons with a death row.

There is actually opportunity within this biannual awful...

To The Bitter Friend

After six years of hard work, I'm starting to have some success in my career. Disturbingly, my best friend seems envious. I'll tell her some exciting news, and she'll barely respond. I understand that she's trying to break through while working a menial job, but my other friends are really supportive and happy for me. She claims she is, too, but her behavior says otherwise. It really hurts my feelings.

--Disappointed

We often do crazy things simply to keep up with our peers who are doing thos...

Endship Ring

I was roommates with a girl five years ago. I was a spoiled brat for many years, but I've worked very hard to change. She, on the other hand, is still supported by her father, has no job or interests, and just wants to get married. Whenever she calls, she wants advice on the same boy drama. I just don't have the time or patience for this anymore. I tried not responding to her, but she keeps calling and texting, "I need to come over right now!"

--Drama-Weary

"I need to come over right now!" W...

Putting The Removes On Someone

I recently had my addiction recovery memoir published. I'm very honest and vulnerable in it, and readers feel super-connected to me because of it. Most just briefly thank me for how it changed their life, etc. However, a few have really latched on to me via social media. I respond to their first message, and then they write back with pretty much a whole novel and message me constantly. I don't want to be mean, but this is time-consuming and draining.

--Unprepared

Not to worry...that fan won'...

Hello. Is It Me You're Cooking For?

I'm a single woman in my mid-30s, and I can't cook. I'm also not interested in learning. My parents are old-school, and this worries them. They keep telling me that "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." Is that really still true?

--Takeout Queen

A man does not stay with a mean woman simply because she makes a mean pot roast: "Yeah, bro, I was all ready to leave her, but then my stomach chained itself to the kitchen table."

However, what matters for a lot of men is that you're lo...

Girl-On-Girl Inaction

I hate to be trite, but my wife and I are experiencing "lesbian bed death." We've been happily married for three years. I'm not sure why we're not having sex. Sure, we're both busy, but it's more a question of just not ever feeling the urge. I know sex is important for a relationship, and I'm worried. Is there a way to reboot our sex life?

--Bedfriends

It's understandably depressing if the only time there's heavy breathing in the bedroom is when you're re-enacting WrestleMania XXV -- that is...

For Whom The Cell Tolls

I'm addicted to my phone -- Twitter, Instagram, news, texts...you name it. My girlfriend feels disrespected and unheard when I look at it while she's talking, but I can't seem to stop. Please help me out before I lose the woman I love!

--Addicted

If your smartphone were actually smart, it would ping you to listen to your girlfriend before she's your ex-girlfriend trash-talking you in a bar.

Instead, smartphones and apps turn us into lab rats ferociously hitting the touch screen for another...

A Brief History Of Tame

I'm a 45-year-old single guy seeking a long-term relationship. My problem is that when I'm interacting with a woman I'm attracted to, my ability to read whether she's interested in me goes out the window. I suspect I've missed out on some great women because I couldn't read their signals quickly enough.

--Disappointed

Where you go wrong is in taking the hesitant approach to asking a woman out -- waiting for her to give you some unambiguous indication of interest (ideally, in large red letter...