Amy Alkon's Blog, page 28

Dead Wait

I'm a 35-year-old guy who's been texting with this girl. She got out of a seven-month relationship two months ago and is still kind of emotional about it. We'll make plans to go out, but she always cancels at the last minute, claiming that she's "still a mess" and adding, "Hope you understand!" Should I just keep texting with her and see where things lead?

--Limbo

Think about the guys women get stuck on -- those they can't get to text them back, not those who put out lighted signs visible fro...

Mock Love To Me

My boyfriend has this irritating habit of making fun of my outfits or my spray tan. When I get upset, he says I'm being "sensitive." I try to look cute for him, and I just don't think it's funny for your boyfriend to mock your appearance. Is this his issue or mine? If it's his, how do I get him to stop?

--Unhappy

It's probably tempting to give him a taste of his own medicine: "Baby, I did not use the word 'small' in describing your penis. I called it 'adorable.'"

The reality is, beyond men's...

Pitch-Slapped

I'm a woman who's very feminine and considered pretty. However, I have a deep voice -- to the point where I'm sometimes mistaken for a man on the phone. I've learned to laugh about it, but it sometimes makes me feel bad, especially when I hear a bunch of other women talking. How do people feel about women with deep voices?

--Feeling Low

Okay, so you sound like you've been smoking unfiltered cigarettes since you were 3 years old.

In social situations, nobody's mistaking you for Darth Vader in...

Having It Small

I met somebody online, and we have a real connection, but he is agoraphobic and hasn't really left his bedroom for 10 years. I have a job and a life, so it's hard to keep up with his barrage of messages. However, it seems unfair to bail on dating him just because he has this condition. What causes agoraphobia? Is it treatable?

--Wondering

It can be really romantic to spend the entire weekend in bed with a man -- but only when you don't have to spend every other day of the month there, too.

...

Too Mush Information

My friend was dying to tell her new boyfriend she loves him but waited till he said it first. She, in fact, makes that a rule. Now I have a new boyfriend. Should I just shamelessly own my feelings -- that is, tell him I love him? Or should I follow my friend's lead?

--Hating Waiting

We have this notion that it's really romantic for a couple to say "I love you" pronto: "The moment he/she sat down at the bus stop next to me, I just knew!" In reality, "love at first sight" tends to come with so...

The Benefits Of Exorcise

My fiancee dumped me three months ago. I was devastated, but I've come to realize that we shouldn't be together. Now she keeps pressing for us to meet, saying there's stuff she needs to "process." I was finally starting to get over her, but should I just go?

--Torn

Getting together with your ex-fiancee after you've finally started to move on is like being just out of rehab and reconnecting with a friend: "What could be the harm? A nice pastrami on rye with my old heroin dealer!"

Your brain,...

Smells Like Quarantine Spirit

I'm a 41-year-old married lesbian. My wife and I used to work from home together. She recently got an important job, and she's now gone all day, five days a week. I'm happy for her, and this is good for us in the long run, but I'm really sad and lonely.

--Isolated

Avoid any temptation to kidnap strangers lingering in your building's lobby. "Are you going to cut me up and put me in your freezer?" the terrified UPS man will ask. You: "Uh, I thought we'd just hang out and have coffee, but whate...

Love You Faux Ever

How do you know when a man's "I love you" is for real? I've had men express their love to me with great sincerity, only to vanish not long afterward. Are all men this fickle? Manipulative?

--Upset

Why does a man say "I love you"? Sometimes because "Look, a ferret in a top hat!" doesn't do much to get a woman into bed.

To parse whether a man's "I love you" is just the later-in-the-relationship version of "You related to Yoda? Because yodalicious," you need to consider context. The exact same...

Power Tulle

Why are there lots of bridal magazines but no magazines for grooms? What does that imply?

--A Male

Consider men's general lack of interest in wedding planning. Of course, if men did the organizing, there'd probably be a paintball duel to the altar, strippers serving nachos, and a minister who ends the ceremony with: "You may now have a threesome with the bride and her sister."

However, what we could call the "wedding-industrial complex" -- with $56 billion in sales in the U.S. in 2017 (per...

Seize The Meh

I'm a 31-year-old guy who got really hurt after a relationship ended a few years back. Now I just don't date women whom I'll ever really care about because I don't ever want to feel how I felt when my previous relationship ended. My friends say I'm being a coward and missing out, but, hey, I'm not depressed over any chicks. I think I'm being smart in protecting myself. Maybe more people should take this approach.

--Comfortably Numb

These days, your relationships probably start when you eyeba...