Amy Alkon's Blog, page 24

The Bedder Business Bureau

I'm a woman with a male business partner. He just got a new girlfriend, and he pretty much goes MIA whenever he goes to visit her. It can take him up to two days to return my phone calls, and I'll have to call or text two or three times to get him to respond. (I'm contacting him about business, not social stuff.) He is usually -- well, used to be -- very available by phone. His disappearing act when he's with the girlfriend is really annoying and detrimental to our business and, frankly, pret...

America's Next Top Remodel

I'm seeing so many women on Instagram who've had themselves made over to be super hot through cosmetic surgery and injectable fillers. They all have the same face -- with big, luscious lips and huge doll-like eyes. In every shot, they're in full makeup -- crazy eyeliner, tons of contouring. Do guys actually like this plastic Barbie look? Are guys cool with cosmetic surgery in general?

--Curious

If only these women of Instagram were honest in their photo credits: "Hair by Luigi. Makeup by Anna...

Care Bare

I'm dating this new woman. I like her a lot, but she keeps complaining that I still have pictures of my ex-girlfriend on my wall, saying that it makes her uncomfortable, especially when we're having sex. I was with my ex for a while, and we lived together. They're just pictures. What's the big deal?

--Irritated

There's a place for the photographic Museum of Relationships Past, but it isn't the area around your bed -- assuming that your sex partners don't require inflation with a bike pump.

Ac...

Bad Stare Day

Do men fall in love at first sight more than women do? My male friend says it's mostly men who'll see a woman from across a room or subway platform and fall for her. Yeah, I know that happens. Don't women do this, too? Like, a lot?

--Wondering Dude

A guy's claim of "love at first sight" plays better with the ladies than "I wanted to spend eternity with your boobs."

Research by psychologists Andrew Galperin and Martie Haselton finds that men, far more often than women, report experiencing "lo...

Areola 51

A lot of women are posting pix of themselves on Instagram in very skimpy attire. I don't feel comfortable doing that (though I'm in great shape), because I'm single and I'm afraid men would think I'm "easy." Am I right in thinking men don't take you seriously as relationship material if you post this type of pix? Or am I prudish and out of touch?

--Curious

Ideally, if you tell somebody you have a few more weeks out on disability, they don't immediately assume it's because you got really bad f...

A Czar Is Born

I love my girlfriend, but she has some weird rules about her place: no shoes inside, cabinets can't be left open, etc. We've gotten in fights when I've forgotten to do this stuff and then mentioned how ridiculous I find it. Should I have to do things I think are stupid?

--Besieged

Your girlfriend reminds you of a well-known television star. Unfortunately, it's Judge Judy.

You, like many people in relationships, have the expectation that your partner's requests should make sense. This is wher...

Cling Kong

My girlfriend of three years recently took a trip home for a weekend wedding. Before she left, I asked her, "Can you set my expectations as to how often I'll hear from you?" She said she'd call every day. She called each of the three days but never stayed on the phone very long, always giving some excuse: She was in a bar, the hosts were sleeping, etc. In three days, she spent a total of 43 minutes speaking and reconnecting with me. I told her I felt really hurt by how little time she allocat...

Gramping Her Style

My friend just joined a dating site for elite creative professionals. Unfortunately, it grabs your age from Facebook, so you can't shave off years. At 50, she's outside of most men's search parameters -- even older men's. What gives?

--Concerned

Aging is especially unkind to straight women on dating sites. At a certain point (usually age 46 on), women find their options narrowed to men who wear jewelry -- the kind that sends the message, "I've fallen, and I can't get up!"

A study by psycholo...

Debt Valley

I'm a single chick in my early 30s, and I'm having financial difficulties. I got laid off, and depressingly, it's really hard to find work. Though I want to talk to my friends about it, I'm afraid they'd think I was trying to borrow money, so I've been keeping to myself.

--Unemployed

When you've been unemployed for a while, it becomes awkward to propose get-togethers: "Hey, wanna go out on Friday night for a glass of air?"

However, avoiding your friends is probably making things worse -- or...

Foul Pay

I went out with a feminist who was all into women's empowerment, but when the bill came, she made no effort to chip in. Please explain this type of feminism. Is it somehow possible that she didn't notice the check?

--Incredulous

It is possible that she didn't notice the check. It's also possible that she likes to take time off from complaining about paternalistic behaviors to sample the ones that work best for her.

While this appears to be a glaring example of self-serving selective feminis...