Amy Alkon's Blog, page 20

Hint Julep

My newly divorced business colleague keeps asking for my hot friends' phone numbers. I think this is highly inappropriate. If things go badly, I'm stuck in the middle! I keep hinting that I don't think it's cool for him to put me in this position, but he doesn't seem to be getting the message. Help.

--Stuck

It's so annoying when your colleagues leave their mind-reading helmets at home.

In such cases, there is a way to get your message across, and it's by directly expressing it -- in words. Th...

The Filet Of The Land

I'm a 36-year-old single man. I see buying a woman dinner as a nice part of courting. Lately, however, women keep pretending to be interested in me only to vanish after I've taken them out for an expensive dinner. How can I avoid women who just want to use me as a meal ticket?

--Duped

A first date should be an opportunity to get acquainted -- with you, that is, not wine from Napoleon's private stock and steak from a cow that attended French boarding school.

Welcome to the "foodie call" -- a...

Truth Be Trolled

I'm on Twitter, and occasionally, I'll tweet something seemingly innocuous and then have dozens or even hundreds of enraged strangers attack me with ugly tweets. What's the best response when this happens?

--Besieged

You can take the careful approach on social media, staying away from hot-button topics like politics and animal rights -- only to get a beatdown from a Twitter mob for your #totalitarian!!! #whitenationalist!!! aversion to aftermarket eyelashes on car headlights.

It turns out th...

The Incredible Sulk

I'm a married lesbian working on having another baby with my fab wife. My new best friend is an attractive straight girl who lives in another state. We talk and text every day. It isn't sexual or romantic at all, but my friend gets me in a way that, I'm sorry to say, my wife does not. My wife seems jealous. I've noticed her moping around when I'm on the phone and sometimes rolling her eyes when I'm laughing with my friend. How can I reassure her without giving up my new friend?

--Concerned

S...

Mourning Wood

My male neighbor was married to a wonderful woman for 15 years. She died, and he was grieving heavily for several months, telling my husband and me she was the love of his life and he didn't "know how to do life" without her, etc. Well, six months later, he was dating, and in less than a year, he's engaged to somebody new! I'm beginning to wonder if all his "I'm so grief-stricken" was just for show.

--Irate

The way you see it, he went through some Stages of Grief: 1) Wow, this is terrible and...

Baptism By Liar

I was talking with this guy whom I've known for over six years who lives a plane ride away. It was late at night on a weekend, and he was saying all this mushy sexy stuff and how he wanted to fly me out to his city, blah, blah, blah. Afterward, he never called or texted again. It's been weeks now. He's done this before -- come on really hot and heavy and then disappeared. And he doesn't drink or do drugs, so that isn't an explanation. Why do men do this?

--Feeling Dumb For Believing...Again...

Done Juan

I went on three or four dates with this dude, and he said it wasn't really working for him and stopped calling. I'm kind of confused about what went wrong or what put him off. My friends tell me to leave it alone. Doesn't he owe me more of an explanation for why he isn't interested anymore, considering we went on multiple dates?

--Baffled

You are owed: 1. The correct change. 2. The news that a guy you've been dating is no longer interested. Period. It is not his job to tell you that you are,...

The Heart Is A Clonely Hunter

I've heard that we're romantically attracted to people who look like us. Is that true? I don't think any of my boyfriends have looked anything like me, but I have seen couples who look so similar they could be related.

--Wondering

You can kinda see the merits of dating your doppelganger: "I'm looking for myself, but as someone else so I don't always have to empty the dishwasher and scream out my own name in bed."

There is this notion that opposites attract. Actually, the opposite often seems...

Groundhug Day

I've been with my wife for 23 years. I know sex is important, but sometimes we're tired or not in the mood. I want to keep our intimacy alive. What are some things we can do to stay connected physically?

--Embarrassed Having To Ask

Many couples do eventually need help from a professional to connect physically -- whether it's an advice columnist, a sex therapist, or a bank robber who leaves them duct-taped together in the vault.

It turns out the answer isn't all that complicated: Basically, y...

The Pathogen Of Least Resistance

I live with my girlfriend, who's really picky about how clean and tidy the house has to be. God forbid I put a bowl on the dish rack that isn't perfectly immaculate or leave tiny bits of hair in the sink after I shave. She gets totally grossed out by small things that I don't think are a big deal. If this stuff is ridiculous, should I really have to abide by her rules? And is this a woman thing? Other girlfriends of mine have been like this, too.

--Annoyed �� It's nice when your girlfriend al...