Amy Alkon's Blog, page 17

Driving Miss Crazy

I'm a 32-year-old woman, and I went on one date with a guy I'd been talking to online. We have texted some since our date but haven't made solid plans to hang again. Basically, he'll text me and we'll chat, and then I won't hear from him for a week. The waiting is making me really obsessive. I find myself constantly wanting to text him. I know I shouldn't chase him, but the urge is so strong. What's going on?

--Disturbed

Sometimes, when two people get engaged, the intended groom is the last...

Once Upon A Crime

I've been with my boyfriend for nine years, and I'm still pissed off about stuff from like five years ago. I don't know how I remember this stuff when I can't find my keys half the time. I'd like to get rid of these resentments and not keep bringing them up. I know it's not healthy for me or our relationship, but I don't know how to let them go.

--Stuck

So, basically, this is you: "I wish they allowed dogs in my building, but no biggie. I'll take this thing you did in 2006 and make it my...

My Fare Lady

I've been dating a guy for just over a month.He's asked me to go with him to an out-of-state wedding (across the country) several weeks from now, but he didn't mention buying me a plane ticket. I think he should buy it because he invited me.Am I expecting too much?

--Unsure

Chances are he doesn't expect you to mail yourself in a really big crate or saddle up Hortense the limping mule and meet him there -- just in time for the divorce party.

Should you pick up the tab for your ticket? I don't...

A Labor Of Leave

I haven't had sex since my last breakup, and I'm all lusty. I really like this guy, but he seems to have some intimacy issues. We went on a coffee date, and the chemistry made things go further than I would have wanted or expected (making out like crazy in the car). My friends keep reminding me to build trust and friendship before sex. But can you really go backward? Like, is it possible to just hang out and chat once things have gotten hot and heavy?

--Lustbucket

A nice thick pane of...

Fade To Bleh

I'm a very obsessive person. I went on one date with this guy, and it was immediately apparent that he's emotionally unavailable and broken. I deleted his number but soon dug it back up. I texted, but he never responded. I know he's bad news, but I still think about him constantly. It's especially bad when I'm trying to go to sleep. How do I stop these intrusive thoughts?

--Besieged

It's like that spinning teacup ride, with Satan as the carny: "Wanna get off? Too bad!"

You're doing your best...

Ingrate Expectations

My husband and I attended his niece's wedding two years ago. Our gift was money earmarked to pay for their honeymoon. We were miffed that we never got either a thank-you note or any word that they'd actually used the money for a honeymoon. We recently got a note that they're expecting their first child. We sent a nice card but no gift, as we never got any response for our wedding gift. Yesterday, a custom card came in the mail, belatedly thanking us for our generous gift and telling us about...

The Rid Carpet

I'm a 30-something gay guy. When I moved to a new city five years ago, I knew nobody except two female co-workers, who became my first friends. I have since met wonderful, talented, artistic people who are more my style. I no longer work with these ladies, and I'm just not interested in hanging out with them anymore. When they call to get together, I keep saying I'm busy, but they're not getting the picture. How do I break up with them without being mean?

--Trapped

When you break up with a...

Same Mold, Same Mold

I seem to keep getting together with the same messed up guy over and over again. Basically, the men I'm attracted to all have the same issues (emotionally unavailable, fear of commitment, etc.). Each time, I tell myself I can make things different. How do I stop doing this?

--Broken Picker

Your problem isn't being attracted to guys who turn out to be messed up. It's going forward with them after you discover that. It's like seeing the sign "Shark-Infested Waters" and then saying to yourself,...

Captain Hookup

I'm a single man in my 30s, and I don't want a relationship right now. I keep meeting women online who say they only want something casual. Then, on the first or second date, it becomes obvious that they want a relationship, not just fun and sex. What's with the bait and switch?

--Annoyed

Nothing like arriving for your reservation at a steak house only to be told, "We're out of a few things tonight -- everything made of cow. But good news! We've still got carrot kebabs, cauliflower schnitzel,...

Mail Bonding

My girlfriends are all writing out their visions for a partner, as if they've met him already ("Thank you, universe, for bringing me this man..."). They claim they've gotten boyfriends because of it. Is this just New Age crap, or is there something to writing down what you want?

--Boyfriend-Seeking

This apparently is a thing, women writing a letter about the man of their dreams and then feeling like they ordered online from the universe: "My man's on his way. Just waiting for the tracking...