Amy Alkon's Blog, page 14

Dawn Of The Dad

I'm a 36-year-old woman. I've had my share of men who shy away from commitment, so it's a bit of a surprise that the guy I've been seeing for a few months really wants to settle down. He's already talking about kids. While I really like him a lot, I worry that his rush to settle down is a red flag.

--Uneasy

When a guy yells something out in bed, it's a little disturbing if it's, "You make me want to put up wallpaper in a house in the suburbs!"

It's possible the guy suddenly had enough of the...

Callous In Wonderland

At family gatherings, my sister-in-law makes critical remarks about my appearance, like my shirt's very low-cut or I might want to lose weight before wearing the dress I have on. She only does this in front of others, and she says she just tells me because she cares about me. It doesn't feel that way. I'd really like her to stop.

--Feeling Attacked

When you're female, junior high never ends. The Hello Kitty knife in your back just gets upgraded to one by Cuisinart.

Women are said to be the...

Waking The Dad

My boyfriend and I recently discussed having children. I want them, but he's a little on the fence. He says he needs to be in a better financial place before thinking about kids. I wonder whether that's just an excuse to put off the topic indefinitely.

--Worried

Children bring their parents a lot of joy -- and it helps to remember that as you're jazzwalking to the office so you can put your gas money toward your kid's fourth round of dental work.

Children are seriously expensive, so maybe...

Not OK, Cupid

A gay male friend set me up on a date. The man was HORRIBLE. He spent the entire date talking about himself. Everything was a brag. He didn't ask one question about me. Now I'm wondering whether my "friend" knows me at all. Why would he set me up with someone so wrong for me?

--Seething Woman

The road to good intentions is sometimes paved with hell.

It's understandable you feel bad, considering your friend's idea of the guy you'd like was a mismatch on par with inviting the vegan neighbors...

Bored Walk Empire

Why am I only attracted to unattainable guys? As soon as men express interest in me, I lose interest in them. How do I break this cycle?!��

--Frustrated

At the moment, the perfect love poem for you would come from a clerk at the court: "Roses are red, violets are blue; stay 500 feet away, or it's handcuffs for you!"

Chances are you're looking to win, not looking for love. Once you win -- once you've landed the guy you've been pursuing -- you're done. However, you probably tell yourself...

Wane's World

I have a challenging job I love, and lately, it's really cutting into my time with my boyfriend. I tell him how much I hate this, but he's been very understanding. Initially, this was great, but now I'm annoyed that he seems fine with seeing less of me. Is it ridiculous I'm upset he isn't acting more upset that I'm not around as much?

--Disturbed

Poets and lyricists often describe love as a medical issue: Love hurts! Love is blind! Love lies bleeding! It goes a little far, however, to give...

Grisly Bare

I hooked up with a really good friend a few times. We both agreed to forget about it to preserve our friendship, but he's been really distant. I don't want to be the one to reach out and say something. How do I get things back to normal?

--Upset

Sure, they say a really good friend is someone who knows everything about you -- though, ideally, stopping short of how your sex face is a ringer for a pug having a seizure.

Chances are, this stretch of awkward silence between you has two...

Flee Infestation

Disturbingly, I've had two close female friends "ghost" me in five months. I've known each for 15 years. (They don't know each other, and one lives out of state.) I've tried repeatedly to contact each, asking "Did I do anything to hurt or offend you?" No response. I just want the truth so I can move on.

--Baffled

There comes a time when you wish someone would treat you with a little more kindness, like by screaming out all the reasons you deserve to be left for dead and have your face eaten...

Mop! In The Name Of Love

Why are men okay with living in gross conditions? The guy I started dating is a sweetheart, but his place is absolutely disgusting (including the kitchen and bathroom). He doesn't even notice it. Why do women seem to have a higher standard for cleanliness than men?

--Dismayed

Some men do wait a while to clean the bathroom -- like until they go from needing a bottle of Mr. Clean to needing a bottle of Mr. Arson.

Science suggests you're right in observing that men, generally speaking, are less...

Business Whirled

I'm a woman who's fiercely competitive in the business world. I've been rewarded for pursuing deals as relentlessly as highly successful men do. Yet, taking this approach in my dating life -- energetically pursuing men and confidently asking them out -- has been a bust. The men I go after seem to find my openness, excitement, and confidence off-putting. I keep hearing that I need to chill out and let men pursue me. This seems crazy. I shouldn't have to act like a debutante, waiting for a man...