Amy Alkon's Blog, page 13

Clone Shark

I'm a gay man. I was in a relationship with my ex for about three years. We're on good terms and hang out as friends. He recently started dating a guy who looks like my long-lost twin (except he's got about 40 pounds on me). Our mutual friends find this creepy and weird, and I have to say, I do, too.

--Disturbed

When two people break up, there's often the inevitable, "It's not you..." but you don't expect, "It's not you; it's you...with more of a thing for beer, fried foods, and cake."

This...

Gloom With A View

I'm a 30-year-old woman in a new relationship with a really great guy. I haven't been very lucky in romance, and in the past, every time I met someone I really liked, I ended up getting the rug pulled out from under me and getting dumped when I thought things were going great. This has left me with some raging insecurities. How can I calm down so I won't get so freaked out that I sabotage the relationship?

--Panicky

It's good to let your partner know you don't take him for granted, though idea...

Opener Sesame!

I'm a single woman. I'd love to get into a relationship. Often, when I'm at a bar, I see a guy I'd like to chat up, but I won't even approach because I don't know what to say. Are there some pickup lines men love to hear?

--Looking

There are a number of lines men would love to hear from a woman -- among them, "I've really enjoyed my drink, and now I'd like to enjoy you" and, "Don't you have a tattoo I should be licking?

However, there's what men love to hear, and there's what's actually effe...

2B Or Not To Be

This guy recently moved into my apartment building, and we seem to have a spark. I'd like to go out with him. However, because we live in the same building, this might be a bad idea. If it goes badly, things could get really awkward or even horrible. Should I just try to forget about him?

--Tempted

Let's just say this has some negative potential -- along the lines of throwing back a bottle of pinot noir all by yourself and then deciding to cut your bangs at 1 a.m.

Though going for it with t...

Love In The Paycheck Republic

I'm a 20-year-old girl with a big crush on my very cute boy co-worker. Day after day, week after week, I want to invite him out for drinks, but then I chicken out. I ask myself all the usual questions, like, "What if he says no, and work gets weird?" and, "What if he tells the boss, and then I get fired?"

--Procrastinating Endlessly

You'd be asking him to go for drinks, not asking him to straddle you in the staff restroom.

Unless there's a policy forbidding co-workers from dating, asking thi...

Adultery Swim

I started seeing a guy whose previous relationship ended because he cheated. He insists he really learned his lesson and would never do it again. Should I trust him, or should I go by that line, "once a cheater, always a cheater"?

--Worried

People in relationships do develop little traditions -- like coming home every night and checking the closet for their boyfriend's sex partners.

The question is, does the skeleton that your boyfriend's yanked out of the closet point to a heavily populated ...

Best Of Reflux!

My fiancee and I mutually ended it several months ago, but she's staying in touch, reaching out, texting, etc. It's really hard to move on when she's trying to maintain a connection. I've hinted at this, and I know she isn't interested in rekindling romantically, but nothing changes.



--Disturbed

My late Yorkie, Lucy, now resides in a tiny urn in my living room; I didn't have her taxidermied and mounted on an old roller skate so I could take her on walks like nothing's changed.

After a breaku...

Complain Crash

My 22-year-old son's new girlfriend is extremely pretty. She has a great figure and dresses to show it off, so I understand the attraction. However, she's also spoiled, lazy, and kind of a scam artist. (She bragged about cheating a small business.) I pointed out her shortcomings to my son, but he refused to listen and even defended her. Can I get him to end it without being the overbearing mother?

--Upset Mom

Though you see only flaws, your son sees a lot in this woman: BOOOOOOOBS!

It's natu...

Legally Bland

My boyfriend is best friends with another girl. He told me they tried dating years ago, but nothing came of it, and they really are just friends. She's been very welcoming to me, but I'm still uneasy that he's so close with a woman he once dated. I can't help but wonder whether the bit about straight men not being able to be friends with women is true.

--Nervous

Picture the city dump. Sexually, to your boyfriend, this woman might as well be an old tire, a single dingy couch cushion (whereabout...

Meet Joe Beige

I've been dating this guy for a month. Things with him are really average. However, we met through a mutual guy friend, and I'm actually really into that guy. Could my staying with the guy I'm seeing spark jealousy in the friend and lead him to make a play for me?

--Wrong Place

Sext your boyfriend and ask him to forward it to his friend.

Kidding, obviously. But at least that would end things between you. That's the right thing to do -- as opposed to staying with the guy and using his interest...