Amy Alkon's Blog, page 35

Simper Fi

There's always been an attraction between this guy and me. I've been thinking of testing the waters with him romantically, but he recently mentioned that he freaks out when women cry. He says he just has no idea what to do. Well, I'm an emotional person -- generally happy but also a big crier. Are we a bad match, or could I teach him to soothe me?

--Waterworks

Most men are comfortable dealing with any leaky item -- as long as it can be fixed with an adjustable wrench and a Phillips screwdriv...

Destiny's Problem Child

I saw this gorgeous girl at the coffeehouse at the mall two months ago. It was totally love at first sight. I keep hanging out there hoping to see her again. Am I nuts, or does love at first sight really exist?

--Smitten

It's so special when a man tells a woman he's deeply in love with her -- except when her response is "Excuse me, but have we met?"

Love at first sight sounds so romantic. There are those couples who claim they had it -- causing mass nausea at dinner parties when they look i...

Charles (Darwin) In Charge

My family enjoys your weekly column, but we're wondering why you can't give advice without launching into evolutionary explanations. We aren't always instinct-driven animals like elk or migrating salmon.

--Evolutionary Overkill

It isn't so bad being a salmon. Salmon just wake up one day and swim like mad upstream. There's no existential fretting, "What does it all mean? What will I do with myself after grad school? Am I a bad fish if I sometimes long to put grain alcohol in the sippy cup of...

A Good Man Is Hard To Fund

I'm a 35-year-old woman. I'm living with my boyfriend, who's a freelance artist (talented but just getting started). We've been together for three years, and I am paying for pretty much everything. I don't feel resentful. I feel like we're a team and eventually his career will take off. However, my parents keep saying it's a bad dynamic: I'm coddling him, and he's taking advantage of me.

--Worried

Ideally, when one partner is the sole breadwinner, the other is the stay-at-home parent to more...

Weed Better Break Up Now

I'm a 28-year-old gay guy. I like to travel and go out and do stuff on the weekends. My boyfriend prefers to smoke pot and uhh...time travel on the couch. He's a good person, and I love him, but he's unwilling to cut back on his pot smoking. Friends tell me to dump him, but we've been together for three years, and bailing now would mean throwing that time away.

--Frustrated

The guy isn't without ambition. He tries really hard every day to give the cat a contact high.

There's a point when love...

Wedding Duress

I've been living with my high-school sweetheart (from 20 years ago) for two blissful years. However, he's still married to his ex (though they've been separated for 10 years). Every dollar he has goes into the business he's building or child support, so I'm paying all the bills. I want to get married and start a family, but beyond his not being divorced, he doesn't want to marry again or have children...at this time. He says this could change in the future.
--Clock's Ticking

You know you ca...

How I Met Your Smother

My boyfriend recently ended things, saying he wasn't ready to be tied down. His mother adores me and keeps calling and saying he loves me and to just be patient. Should I be talking to her at all? Is this normal behavior for a 32-year-old man's mom?

--Confused

Stalkers usually want to date you or chain you to a radiator in their basement, not force you to choose between the calla lilies and the "Winter Blessings" wedding centerpiece.

Though his mom's busybodying is weirding you out, it's actu...

Reign Of Terrier

I know humans are typically your subject, but this is a relationship question, so I hope you'll consider answering it. I have a new puppy (an 8-pound terrier mutt). I eventually want her to sleep in bed with me. However, she's not toilet-trained yet, so I "crate" her at night in the laundry room (in a small dog cage). She cries all night. It's heartbreaking. Please help!

--Sleepless In Dogtown

We call dogs "man's best friend" and treat them just like our human best friends -- if at 11 p.m. y...

Fur Wheelin'

I keep seeing men pushing dogs in baby strollers and carrying dogs as women do. What's going on? An epidemic of sissified men? If I ever did this, I'd hope my family would have me committed.

--Disturbed

"Release the hounds!" does lose some of its punch when it's followed by "...as soon as you can unzip them from their polka-dot stroller."

Thankfully, the Centers for Disease Control lists no reports of an outbreak of Pomeranians poking their little heads out of man purses. However, you're righ...

Romancing The Grindstone

I'm a 32-year-old woman with a really intense job that I love. I work long hours every week, and I often work weekends, too -- by choice. I don't want kids, but I'd love to have a relationship. I just worry that guys will want more of me timewise and energywise than I can give -- which is basically some nights (into mornings) during the week and on weekends -- and will feel neglected and resentful.

--Work First

Understandably, not everyone is into the sort of relationship where a sleepover en...