Page Turner's Blog, page 97
May 4, 2019
It’s Humbling to Realize We Do Not See Things As They Really Are, But We Don’t
“The brain is designed with blind spots, optical and psychological, and one of its cleverest tricks is to confer on us the comforting illusion that we, personally, do not have any…’naive realism’ [is] the inescapable conviction that we perceive objects and events clearly, ‘as they really are. ‘ We assume that other reasonable people see things the same way we do. » Read more
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May 3, 2019
When Life Leads You Back to Roads That You Thought Were Closed Off Forever
A while back, I wrote an essay called “It’s Easy to Convince Yourself That an Opportunity Has Passed Forever, But That Doesn’t Mean You’re Right.”
In that piece, I talk about how I’d ask for science toys for Christmas, but my mother would shake her head. She’d say, “You’ll blow up the house.” » Read more
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May 2, 2019
The Relief of Finally Being Visibly and Actively Biromantic
As I wrote in an earlier piece, while I didn’t practice polyamory until the last decade or so, I’ve been bisexual for as long as I can remember. And as such, I’m no stranger to bisexual erasure. It’s been a constant companion no matter where I go.
Bisexual erasure involves basically any attempt to invalidate bisexuality as a real sexual identity, » Read more
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May 1, 2019
Could a Japanese Role Playing Game Help Your Relationships?
Today’s article is a guest post from Mr. Promiscuous. Mr. Promiscuous is a bi, polyamorous, black man on the path to becoming a sex educator. He answers questions of the adult kind with a casual, respectful, and fun air at his blog Adult Conversations.
And check out what he wrote for Poly Land today. » Read more
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April 30, 2019
When You’re Used to Bad Relationships, It’s Easy for Something to Feel “Too Good to Be True”
In an earlier piece, I wrote about the homing pigeon effect, i.e., “good things are hard to screw up.”
Good relationships typically feel very easy in the beginning. A mix of the biochemical attachment cocktail of New Relationship Energy and actual compatibility washes over any small flaws that would otherwise jump right out. » Read more
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April 29, 2019
Be Patient With Yourself. You’re Carrying More Tension Than You Realize.
I’m lying supine on a massage table in a dark room. There’s new age music playing, but not the kind that screams “hey, look at me, I’m new age music.” Instead, it’s the ponderous ambient kind. Music that has a way of combing your mind into straight rows when you’re least expecting it. Helping you work the kinks out. » Read more
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April 28, 2019
Do We All Go Through the Same Discrete Life Stages? Or Are Identity Development and Aging More Idiosyncratic Than That?
While everyone’s a little different, and individuals can be very individual in nature (thus, the name), culturally there does seem to be a common belief that a life can be broken up into segments, life stages, if you will.
There are a ton of jokes about midlife crisis, angsty teenage years, » Read more
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April 27, 2019
Risky Sex Is Judged More Harshly Than Objectively More Lethal Non-Sexual Risks
Which decision is more lethal?:
Deciding to drive from Detroit to Chicago
Having sex without a condom with a person whose HIV status is known
If you’re anything like most people, you will say that the second scenario is the riskier one. That risky sex poses more danger to you than a simple car trip from Detroit to Chicago. » Read more
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April 26, 2019
Bargains with God, Bargains with the Devil
“Worrying is praying for stuff you don’t want.”
Bargains with God
When I was little, I used to make little bargains with God. Especially on long car rides. I’d ask God to introduce himself in a way that I could understand but nothing so dramatic as to blow his cover or make it so that others wouldn’t have to have faith in order to keep believing in him. » Read more
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April 25, 2019
The Only Way Around the Pain Is Through It
When it comes to conflict in relationships, it isn’t a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. What. How. Why.
Because there isn’t a relationship that doesn’t eventually have a conflict.
True, I’ve found that the best relationships are easy in the beginning, any lumps or bumps smoothed over by a wash of flattering NRE. » Read more
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