Page Turner's Blog, page 101

What’s the Difference Between Masochism and Self-Harm?

Hi Page,

I’ve been exploring my more kinky side and I would definitely say I’m a masochist. However, I’ve recently been wondering if I’ve been seeking this out as a new form of self-harm. I used to self-harm in the past and have stopped for a few years, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve just placed the responsibility on someone else.   » Read more

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Ben Franklin Effect, Cognitive Dissonance, and the Subtle Art of Asking for a Favor

If someone does a favor for you, you like them more, right?

But what about the person doing the favor for you? One would expect that you risk making that person feel put out, surely. Inconvenienced. And they might hold having done that favor against you.

But curiously, researchers have found that they don’t.  » Read more

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Can Where You Live Affect How You Love? U.S. Regions & Attachment Style

As I wrote in a previous post, perhaps the biggest lesson of all in child development is that the first year of so of our life is a radically important time for us emotionally. While we continue to learn about trust and social relationships over the course of our life (and experience another notable period of turbulence at puberty),  » Read more

The post Can Where You Live Affect How You Love? U.S. Regions & Attachment Style appeared first on Poly.Land.

When You’ve Turned Into Your Parents, Just Not in the Way You Expected

A while ago, I wrote a piece called “Abused Kids Get to Look Like Their Bullies“:

On countless mornings, I glimpse my reflection in the mirror and want to punch myself in the face.

Because I look like her at certain angles.

Her chin, strong but not square.  » Read more

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If You Want to Get More Done, You Might Need to Hurry Up and Slow Down

My anxiety has often functioned like a shot clock, especially in social situations. Instead of feeling like I had plenty of time to answer someone who asked me a question, I would instead feel pressure to react immediately.

And every millisecond that elapsed before I was able to respond pained me greatly.  » Read more

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I’m Communicosexual and Communicoromantic. Are You?

Communicosexual (adjective): finding the ability to effectively communicate and hold enjoyable conversation sexually attractive or arousing

Communicoromantic (adjective): being romantically attracted to individuals with which one can have effective communication and enjoyable conversation

*

When it comes to dating and love, I’m actually pretty flexible in my expectations. I’m open to dating all sorts of folks.  » Read more

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They Call It Relationship *Status* for a Reason, Don’t They?

Once upon a time, I had a close guy friend that I talked to on the phone every night.

Well, close is relative.

I can’t remember us ever spending face-to-face time talking to one another in school. We didn’t eat lunch together. Didn’t chat in the hallway. Or hang out while waiting for the school to open up in the morning.  » Read more

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Love is a Fire, Baby; Six Metaphors for Relationships

Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.

Fluffy is a frequent contributor to Poly Land. Their regular blog is Eclectic Discourse (where pith goes to die; in-depth looks at awkward topics).

Here’s what they wrote for us today:  » Read more

Love is a Fire,

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The 4 Reasons Why People Ghost

There’s no way around it: Being ghosted sucks. Rejection can be difficult enough  even under ideal circumstances. But add in the ambiguity of not hearing back from someone? The days or weeks of wondering if they’re just busy or freezing you out?

Well, it can hurt a whole lot worse.  » Read more

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Are You a High Self-Monitor?

Do you consider yourself a social chameleon? Or are you the kind of person who embodies the saying “what you see is what you get”?

It all depends on how much you self-monitor.

Self-monitoring is when people pay attention to their own behavior and modify it according to the particular social context they find themselves in.  » Read more

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