Helene Lerner's Blog, page 94
December 17, 2014
5 Ways To Recharge and Relax in Your Workplace
In an age where it’s become the norm to sit at one’s desk for lunch, it may be rough for modern, career-charged go-getters to balance their work commitments with their own need to recharge. While newer advice suggests we take time away from our desks for a proper meal, old habits die hard. For many, it’s still difficult to ignore the siren’s call of work tasks during lunch—even if your managers tell you to.
In the interest of easing into new habits, I have developed some ideas for bringing a more relaxed feeling to your desk…at least until you feel comfortable leaving it on a regular basis. This list includes a few things you can do to mimic the relaxation you’d experience at home, all while staying right at your desk.
Be smart about what you eat. Just eating something home-cooked does wonders for my mood and outlook. The familiar sights, smell, and tastes are enough to give me the short reprieve I need. It helps me make the meal feel more like “my time.” If I think back to actually preparing the food or compliments I’ve received on it, even better.
Try it for a week or two. You’ll see the difference that eating your familiar home-cooked meals (whether you made them or someone else did) have over the rushed orders from the local takeout place.
Make your surroundings more “home-y." If you’re one to use cloth napkins or fancy placemats at home, bring them to the office! These familiar items can serve to calibrate the time so it’s carved out as your time. When you’ve got your placemat and napkins out, view them as symbols of “home,” and use them as such! I’ve even found using “real” silverware helps change my mindset and I stop thinking of lunch as a meal I must rush through.
Set the tone with music. Music or ambient sounds are always great ways to recharge. If you must continue working while you’re listening, try using lyric-free music for best productivity. Even better—pick a 3-5 minute track and grant yourself that time solely for daydreaming, or even thinking through a problem. For those in open-concept offices, use headphones so you don’t disturb your coworkers.
Add a tasteful decoration or two to your workspace. Don’t deck out your whole office, but a knick-knack or two that reminds you of home can change the look and “feel” of your office space. You can also bring in a small photo of family members or a framed inspirational saying.
Add your own personal flair. I feel luxurious and inspired when I use a notebook with beautiful, high-quality paper, a great print on the cover, or an inspired saying or two. I always use printed notebooks and colorful file folders. There is just something about it that really adds personality to the workplace! When you customize your work space and use office supplies that show your personal flair, it helps you feel more “at home” at the office. Let your personality shine!
--Victoria Crispo, Dec 2014 Career Coach
December 16, 2014
The Gift of Grief
The holiday season can be a mixed bag, especially if you’re going through the loss of a loved one. Because it’s so important to acknowledge our feelings, we sought out Marsha Mercant who has many insights from personal experience.
Loss comes in many forms: divorce, job downsizing, a health challenge or the death of a loved one. No matter the particulars, it can be a devastating, life changing experience.
Like all of you, I have had my share of loss. And like many of you, I fought them tooth and nail. That is until three years ago when I lost my best friend of forty-five years to cancer. Losing Melinda was a loss I didn’t think would ever heal; a heart pain I thought would follow me all my days.
But through the pain I learned about the gifts inherent in adversity. I learned there is no greater gift we can give ourselves than knowing that everything that happens in life is a gift. And when we accept that truth, our lives change in miraculous ways.
Be willing to be with grief without judgment. Knowing that what we resist persists, it stands to reason that the more we push against the pain of loss, the more pain we create. Don’t judge your grief. Feel it…all of it…be grateful you have the opportunity to know pain for you will also at some time know joy in equal measure.
Cry. But let them be tears of gratitude. Gratitude for having had that marriage or that job or that loved one. Bless it, or them, thank them for all they meant to you. Discover a new deeper place in your heart that redefines your relationship to your loss. That indescribable place where love runs deeper than you ever imagined it could.
Don't expect to get over it, expect to be richer because of it. When we see our adversity as the gift it is to grow and learn, we create a path into new, sometimes never before dreamt of opportunities. After the loss of my friend, I began writing to deal with the pain of my grief. That act led me to a new career as a writer; a career that has given me new purpose and fills my heart with joy.
Know you have a new angel you can call by name. In some ways, I have a closeness with my best friend that is richer and more profound than it was when she was here. Would I gladly trade that to have her back? You bet! But that’s not how it works. I have a new angel named Melinda, and every day I feel her guiding me, loving me and jumping for joy for all we have accomplished together. For I know her life and death contributed as much to who I am today as any other thing I have ever done or dreamed of doing. Melinda is my special angel and our mission together is now stronger than anything I could have imagined.
Open your heart to your loss. Grieve it. Be grateful for it. And move on to what is next. There is no greater gift you can give yourself!
Marsha Mercant is an established actor and recent co-author of the book The Gift of Cancer: A Miraculous Journey to Healing.
Start Taking Risks to Achieve Success
Linda Yaccarino, the president of advertising sales at NBCUniversal, has incredible energy and enthusiasm. You can't help but want to follow her when you meet her. She is a leader with charisma. I met her last week and one of the things she said was so powerful, I wanted to share it with you.
She talked about the high cost of playing it safe--if we don't take chances we'll stay stuck. And that's more problematic than taking a risk and perhaps failing (if that should happen, we will learn something from it).
On a personal note, Linda is one of three sisters. She's an identical twin and her father raised his "girls" as if they could do anything. All the daughters have achieved great heights in their careers. A dad's influence is very important on growing girls.
As you go about your day and you look at challenges you're facing, ask yourself, am I playing it safe? Or is there another option that I'm afraid to go after? What's the worst case scenario--you do it and it doesn't work out? What's the best case scenario-you achieve what you didn't think you were capable of achieving.
Go for it!
December 15, 2014
Make Your Resume Stand Out
Team players and strategic thinkers are often in high demand among employers. However, not everyone who fits these roles always get the job. There are several other factors at play when it comes to positioning yourself as a viable candidate.
Any seasoned job seeker can learn “job listing lingo” pretty quickly. Amidst the more specific job responsibilities, acronyms, and application instructions, you will find a list of skills (known as “transferable skills”) that almost anybody can possess—ability to be a team player and work independently, time management and organizational skills, oral and written communication skills, strategic thinking, and a can-do attitude.
These vague lists of attributes present an issue to the job seeker. While most individuals can identify at least a few instances in which they have exhibited these skills, relying on them alone can make it harder to stand apart from the crowd. How does an employer weigh one candidate’s organizational skills over another’s? Without being a mind reader, it’s hard to determine.
Fear not, however, as there are solutions. The key is to make sure not only your transferable skills stand out, but demonstrate your
Assessment of the organization’s needs and how to meet them
Ability to do the job
Cultural fit with the organization
When you are working on your application, take the extra step. Think about your transferable skills in terms of the organization’s needs. This will help you frame your application to include examples of your skills that are strong, dynamic, and quantifiable. Show results that create context for possible wins you will gain at the hiring organization. For each point you add to your resume, ask yourself “how will this help the organization? How will I use this skill at this job?”
Also keep your organizational fit in mind. Read the mission statement, gain a clear picture of the organization’s “personality”, and see how the organization is presented to all of its constituents (clients, employees, board members, future customers, etc). By understanding the organization’s personality you will be able to assess how well you will fit. The benefit of this step is that it can save both you and the organization time in the long run. If you find that there is something about the way it portrays itself that doesn’t resonate with you, ask yourself whether you would be able to work there if actually hired. If your answer is no, move on to another opportunity.
When you put in the extra work to make your transferable skills count, you will give your potential employer a chance to get a deeper understanding of your abilities, a clearer picture to what you will be able to do at the organization. Don’t just rely on the laundry list of transferable skills to get you by. Go beyond the basics and deliver a cohesive assessment of your abilities as they relate to the organization’s needs.
--Victoria Crispo, Dec 2014 Career Coach
December 12, 2014
What to do When Feedback Feels Like Criticism
In some careers, ongoing performance feedback is a typical part of the job. In many creative roles (for example: graphic design, advertising, journalism, acting) feedback is so constant, it can start to feel demoralizing and demotivating. Even when it’s intended to be constructive, it can feel like anything but!
This scenario can happen in any career field, in any office. If it’s happening in yours, take comfort in knowing there are ways around it.
Let’s say your job requires your supervisor to regularly evaluate your work. While you may be inclined to take criticism personally, take a step back and look at it from another point of view.
What has the criticism been thus far? Has your manager made valid points about your work? What parts are constructive? How can you use it to create a better work product? Even if you don’t agree with the criticism, what insights can you take away from it?
What’s going on with your manager? What comments might your manager be receiving from her boss about initiatives and goals that need to be reached? How might that affect the work you're expected to produce? Based on the new initiatives, might your current work performance be missing the mark?
How is the rest of the team performing? If the team is dealing with “dead weight” from other members, it can make a manager push you harder in order to perform at peak levels. There may be a fear that others on the team will follow suit and also underperform. Put yourself in your manager’s shoes and imagine the outcomes. See if putting in a little extra effort is doable.
Maybe “it’s not you.” Perhaps your manager is experiencing personal issues that affect how she relates to others. Granted, it’s always better to avoid bringing one’s bad mood (and stressors from personal life) to the office but humans by nature don’t always have an easy time compartmentalizing emotions. On occasion they may surface only at inappropriate times. A simple act of evaluating the external factors might bring perspective and alleviate the situation.
What can you do about criticism at work?
Ask for clarification. When you are getting continuous rounds of feedback, ask your manager to outline exactly what he or she wants to ensure that you can deliver the right product.
Ask for performance metrics. Inquire about your manager’s process for evaluating your work performance and what metrics will be used to identify improvements. This will help you and your manager identify improvements to your performance using “real numbers” as opposed to anecdotal information or opinions.
Speak up. If you find the feedback to be excessive or the claims unfounded, respectably make it known. Give evidence to support your claim that your work performance has addressed the needs of your organization.
Get a mediator. If your comments are not being taken into consideration, ask someone to mediate a discussion between you and your manager. The outside perspective might be just what you need to gain common ground and come to a compromise.
--Victoria Crispo, Dec 2014 Career Coach
December 11, 2014
What To Do When You Lack Focus
It can happen to anyone. Maybe you’re a long-time contributor at an organization, working at a job you once loved. After a while you may find yourself in a rut, having to deal with new objectives and expectations, or just craving some slack-off time. When your work ethic is going down the tubes, there are some ways to get it back:
Eat the Frog First. It makes sense to prioritize your work in terms of most important to least important, but before you get down to business take one more look. Pick out the least appealing task and do that one first. Swallowed whole, when you “eat the frog” first, you take off your plate the task that is most taxing to your energy. If you leave it last on the list, the mere anticipation of having to do it will be draining to you…all day long. Not very conducive to being productive!
Engage in an activity you like. When you’re frustrated by work responsibilities, participate in an activity you really enjoy in your free time. Identify what it is about that activity that differs from your work tasks. See how you can create a similar landscape at work-- how can you model a work task after a hobby in order to make it more pleasant?
Vent. Just not at the office. Find a trusted friend or family member and air your grievances. See how much better you feel after taking a load off. After you’ve relayed all the sources of your ire, maybe they won’t seem as important or their control over your situation will have less influence.
Remember your value. Take a look at past performance reviews, self-evaluations, certificates or awards you’ve received, even thank you notes. Take note of the strengths you possess, as identified by these documents. Identify how you will use these strengths at the office in the new week.
Ask a coworker how you can help. A sure-fire way to get yourself out of a funk is to put the focus on someone else. Approach a coworker and offer your assistance. Gain some insight into how he or she gets work done. See what new methods you can adopt in your own work.
Take a peek at the grass on the other side. Indulge yourself-- check out job descriptions. Read employee reviews of the companies. Does the grass actually seem greener on the other side and could you imagine yourself working there? Make a pros and cons list for staying and going. See if your current place of employment measures up. (If it does not, that’s a whole other article.)
--Victoria Crispo, Dec 2014 Career Coach
December 10, 2014
Introduce Glam into your Holiday Fashion
I love weddings and fancy social events any day of the week, mainly because I love ANY excuse to get dressed up! This is one of the reasons why I love this time of year most. When else can you dress up in tulle skirts, sequins, and statement jewelry without people looking at you like you're overdressed? Okay, I do that anyway, but I’m a stylist… anyway, ‘tis is the season where you can live and look like a rock star without sideways looks in the office.
I’ve gathered up a few of my favorite chic holiday looks to share with you. These looks are easily accomplished by simply pairing luxurious pieces with everyday casual or work wear pieces. Here are a few examples I deem as “easy” because most of us have these items in our closets from wardrobe’s past. Pair your fitted knit with a tulle skirt or your plaid shirt with a sequin skirt, or maybe your faux fur with silk.
There is no limit to the glam factor during the holidays!
These other simple additions will also have you holiday ready and santa chic for the workplace.
Nude Lip
A bold red lip is so expected around the holidays (and every day, really), which is why I prefer to a nude. Tom Ford has a great nude lipstick this season.
Red Lace
The bold color of red is expected but combined with the subtle tone of lace makes this combination a true gem for the holidays.
Fur Cardigan
If you don't like wearing heavy outerwear with a party dress, I suggest a fur cardigan and layer with a chunky scarf. It will get you from venue to vehicle in warmth and still in style
Pretty Business Card Holder
Holiday parties can be key times for networking, so make sure to always keep business cards handy.
Nail Color (Metallics and Graphics)
Yes, these styles are fancier than I’d normally suggest for the office but are the perfect way to let everyone know it's time to celebrate and still allow you be taken seriously when work calls for your attention.
Try a Miniaudiere bag for that holiday party.
Consider it an extension of your wrist, like as added arm candy. It’s just enough to carry the essentials and as impactful to your style statement as any other statement accessory.
White and Gold is all the rage for this year!
White doesn’t have to be the immaculate white, which I personally love more for the extreme contrast but ecru, ivory and cream whites will work just as well. Metallic gold accessories and clothing will enlighten an otherwise drab winter wardrobe.
DIY... Shoes!
Another way to add “holiday” to your wardrobe in a fun and relatively easy way is to take an old pair of black high heel shoes and add glitter to the soles….who needs a red bottom, right?
You’ll need:
A pair of high heels
Glitter
Masking Tape
Clear Liquid Glue
Small Paint Brush
Mod Podge Clear Sealant
A Sheet Of Newspaper
Instructions: Place tape around the heel of shoe so that no glue will go onto the shoe itself, but simply the bottom sole of the shoe. The bottoms of the shoe that won’t be visible when you walk should also be covered with tape. Place the shoes onto the newspaper. Paint a thin coat of glue onto the heel of the shoe and sprinkle the glitter onto the glue. Wait overnight for the liquid glue to set. Take the newspaper and curl it into a cone shape to pour any of the glitter on the newspaper back into the glitter container. Replace the shoes back on the newspaper. Paint the Mod Podge clear sealant over the glitter to add additional durability.
Happy Holidays!
Pamela Watson is an experienced stylist who currently works as the trend expert for Builders of Style, where she prepares A-list clients for red carpet events, music videos, concerts and award shows. Have a question for Pamela? Either ask below or email administrator [at] womenworking [dot] com.
December 9, 2014
3 Holiday Makeup Tips for Every Occasion
The holidays are around the corner which means lots of parties. We caught up with hair and makeup stylist Bruce Dean who gave us some tips for your holiday look.
Office Parties
Whether your skin is a deeper or lighter skin tone, jewel tones are a fabulous choice. These colors highlight and brighten your lid without going too overboard, but also make your eyes pop. For your lips I would recommend a nice gloss, which is definitely coming back in. Use your favorite lip color and put a little clear gloss over it. It really jazzes up your look and makes it a little more fun.
Family Parties
It may seem cheesy but it would be a lot of fun to do some holiday inspired nail art. For many people being home for the holidays means they’re there to have fun, they’re wearing sweaters and not too much makeup, so holiday inspired nail art would hit the nail on the head.
As far as make up goes, use a nice lip color. What’s really in right now is an opaque or sheer berry tone. For family gatherings I would focus more on a nice lip color and a beautiful blush. Use a nice peach or pink tone on the apples of your cheeks and keep your eyes basic with just a little bit of liner and mascara. Then something fun and funky on the nails.
Out with Friends During the Holidays
When it’s lady’s night out it’s your opportunity to connect with your femininity. Get out there and be bold. Using jewel tones with a smoky eye would be beautiful, maybe even with some false lashes. For lips I would either use the berry tone or go for a more neutral lip. For this look you want the attention to stay on the eyes.
Additional Thoughts
If you’re living in a colder climate, say New York, it’s important to have a good moisturizer. It’s very dry, so make sure you’re taking care of your skin. You may want to bump up your face lotion to a cream, which is richer and more moisturizing.
For those of you living in a warmer climate—say Florida—just continue to wear your sunscreen. Up north we’re jealous!
--Bruce Dean Lindstrom is a high-profile makeup and hair stylist, who is often featured on WomenWorking.com. Follow him at @arrivebeautiful on Instagram.
December 8, 2014
Easy Ways to Revamp Your Image
As the seasons change, it’s not uncommon to look for ways to tweak your image. The key is to create change in a way that is appropriate for your workplace. Every organization is different and has its own definition of “appropriate” and “casual”. When considering your new look, keep your office’s image in mind so the changes you make don’t cause your coworkers to double-take.
Below are some quick, easy ideas you can employ to refresh your image and are appropriate for any work environment.
Tweak your posture
If your default has been the “computer slump,” start paying better attention to your posture. Be sure to sit or stand up straight and drop your shoulders. Most people hold tension in their neck and shoulders, and the more tense they are, the further up to their ears their shoulders climb. Remember to drop your shoulders and keep your spine in a straight, neutral position.
In addition to easing up on any aches and pains you may be feeling, straightening your posture will give you a more confident, self-assured look… and don’t be surprised if people start asking if you’ve lost a few pounds!
Try a new color
Take a look at the contents of your closet. Are you noticing a lot of clothing in the same colors? Now might be the time to try a color that you don’t typically wear. You can borrow inspiration from current trends, or just pick a color that has been absent from your wardrobe. I’ve been really attracted to mustard yellow this season and recently added a mustard leather bag and fashion scarf to my repertoire. Shortly after, I started seeing mustard yellow items all over the place. If you’re not sure you’ll be comfortable in the new color, you can “ease into it” by trying it out with an accessory!
Part your hair differently
If you typically part your hair in the center, try it to one side. If you always part to the left side, try the right side, or an off-center part. It’s amazing how a simple flip over to the other side can make a change to your look!
Reframe!
If you wear glasses, there are so many options for fashionable eyewear. Check out a new pair of frames for a quick way to change your look. If you’re lucky enough to have perfect vision, you can make a change with a new pair of sunglasses. Try a frame shape you haven’t worn before. Enlist the input of a trusted friend if you want an extra set of eyes to help you decide what shape works best for you.
Have fun! (Laugh!)
This doesn’t require purchasing anything new for your wardrobe, so give this one a try often. Make sure to bring a little fun to your life every day. Laugh more. Surround yourself with fun, energetic, humorous people. See how laughing a little more every day changes your look-- does your brow furrow less? Are you smiling more? These are subtle changes that shouldn’t be overlooked!
--Victoria Crispo, Dec 2014 Career Coach
December 5, 2014
Get The Life You Want
Here's a few tips to get the life you dream of!
Video Editor: Melenie McGregor
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