Helene Lerner's Blog, page 76

Are You in the Wrong Job

Asking yourself whether you are in the “wrong” job may seem like something that newly-graduated, entry-level employees do. However, even if you’re a seasoned mid-level professional with years of experience in your field, don’t be surprised if you too discover that you’re in the “wrong” job. As your field, company (and even you) evolves, you may find yourself disenchanted with your work and yearning for a change. Or perhaps you’re getting a sense that something is not quite right, that things aren’t jiving at work the way you’d like them to, but you’re not exactly sure what the problem is. 

I use the phrase “wrong job” loosely as I am not really a proponent of the word “wrong.” Sure, there are instances when it is appropriate to use—your company has shady or downright illegal dealings, you’re facing bullying or discrimination, or another similar scenario. 

What is “wrong” about your job can be: 

A drastic change to your responsibilities that your current skillset does not support
A change in responsibilities that you are not excited about or don’t feel motivated to take on
The “same old” responsibilities are starting to feel rote, unchallenging, or otherwise unfulfilling
You are experiencing a personality clash with a new manager or coworker
You see no room for advancement
You’re desperate for a change or have already identified a new career that you want to try

The list goes on and on, and there are many more possibilities. And in some cases, you may have been doing the same work for years before realizing it doesn’t thrill you. Again, this is not unique to newer members of the workforce who are “trying on” a job. It’s very possible to discover this even after you’ve been going to the same job day after day for years. And that’s okay. 

We grow, evolve, and gain new competencies. It’s natural to want different things at different stages of our lives. It’s okay to embrace it! 

So when reflecting on whether you are in the “wrong” job, look at it with the thought that your current work situation might need a once-over, not that you are actively looking for “bad” or “wrong” things about it. 

Some questions to ask yourself: 

What tasks do I enjoy doing at work? 
Which of my responsibilities do I always put last on my list? How essential are these tasks to my work? How would I feel if I never had to do them again? 
What would an ideal work day look like? 

This last question might be difficult without some probing follow-up questions to help guide you: 

What are the things you enjoy doing? Don’t limit yourself to work tasks—you can also turn to your hobbies. If they don’t translate to things you can do at a job, looked deeper for similarities that relate. For example, if you love to crochet, you probably won’t find a job crocheting that will sustain your basic living expenses. So think about what you’re doing when you are crocheting that might translate to useful information for your new career. For example, do you like to crochet because you: 

Are working with your hands? 
Are creating something beautiful? 
Are creating something useful? 
Find it relaxing and comforting? 
Like working with color and/or patterns? 

Once you have your responses, start researching jobs that might allow you to work with your hands, be creative, or have repetitive, physical tasks to complete. That’s a pretty simple example, but use it as a guide to help you explore. 

What are your favorite books? See what your favorite types of books and themes might tell you about a possible career. What careers do your favorite main characters have? For any interesting ones, start researching them, see what’s involved and how you might break into that type of career. 

Are you a morning person or night person? Rather than go against your personal alarm clock, find a job that works with it. 

Do you prefer solitary work or do you thrive on working collaboratively on a team? Think about the jobs you’ve held and which category they fall under. Then assess whether you’ve been pursuing the right types of jobs all along or if you should go after a job with more interaction with your coworkers, or one that keeps you in your own office most of the time. 

What skills do you want to learn, use, or enhance? While we may grumble about work, the beauty of it is the opportunity to learn new skills or enhance the ones you’ve already got. If you want to learn new skills and your current job is not providing you with that opportunity, see how else you might gain and master the skills that are important to you. You may first want to take a class or seminar so you have some chops to show, and then learn the rest on the job. 

Do you want a management role? Not everyone wants to manage or lead. If that’s you, don’t go after roles with a supervisory or management component. While it may seem like a “next step,” it might not be the “right” step for you. Search for jobs that allow you to work at a high level but don’t require supervisory responsibilities. 

Are you looking for a remote/telecommuting position? Think about this and other logistical questions when figuring out what would make the “wrong” job the “right” job for you. Telecommuting is becoming more and more commonplace, so as you search for your next gig, decide whether this is an important factor for you. 

Reflection by using these types of questions is only one piece of the puzzle. Exploration and information gathering can also play a role. A couple of ways to do this: 

Review job listings
Looking at job listings is a great way to get quick information about the types of opportunities that are available. There are many online sites that serve just this purpose. You can also look directly on the “careers” pages of the websites of companies that are of interest to you. 

Schedule informational interviews or informal chats
Look to your network: friends, family, professional contacts, and former colleagues. Set up informational interviews, or if that’s too formal a structure for you, set up time to chat so that you can ask about their current jobs in a more free-form conversation. Also ask about their full career path—how they got to where they are today, what recommendations they have, what worked for them when they were making a career change or switching jobs. 

In addition to learning about their jobs, you might find comfort in learning that you’re not alone in desiring a change. A transition that sounds unlikely or “pie in the sky” might feel more attainable after hearing someone else’s success story. Learn from others, take the tactics that work for them and figure out a way to implement them that works for you. 

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, uninspired, or antsy at work, you owe it to yourself to find out whether your goals and needs have changed and your current job is not meeting them. Do what you can to discover ways that your employment can better match your changing needs. 

—Victoria Crispo, July 2015 Career Coach

The Secret to Breaking Bad Habits At Work

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Bad habits at work can be just as hard to break as bad habits at home. Bad work habits can be especially detrimental, both to yourself and your reputation at the office. So how do you break them? In stages, of course! 

First, Realize the Change That Needs to Happen

Before anyone can break a habit or create a new one, they have to accept and realize the changes that need to occur. This often includes hearing about the change, considering it, and making plans to accomplish it. There are some things you can just jump into, but you’ll have a better shot at successfully breaking the habit by getting a plan together.

Replace Old Habits With New Ones

Working in an office means much of your day boils down to routine. So you’ll need to find something to replace your old habit, or risk falling back into it. Perhaps you like to gossip with a coworker while getting your morning coffee. You could alter your routine to bring coffee from home and go for a quick lap around the building instead. 

Recruit Help

If you’re breaking the habit on your own, your version of help might be post-it notes with reminders about what you’re trying to accomplish. You could also place pictures of what you do or don’t want the end result to be, whichever one you consider more motivating. 

Other methods for help can involve your coworkers. Most habits have certain triggers, either a stressor you often encounter or a pleasant activity you might participate in a little too often. Find those triggers and ask the coworkers who are likely to be around when the triggers occur to keep an eye out for the habit you’re working on. Sometimes a gentle reminder from a friend is all you need to keep yourself under control.

Stay on Track

Now that you’re on the right track, you have to maintain the new practice. Since 50% of your everyday life is habitual, old habits are easy to fall back into, meaning the upkeep is important. Everyone falls off the wagon now and then, but the key is to get right back on. Creating a strong alternative to your original pattern is paramount to breaking the cycle. 

Since you’re working so hard at this, take time for little celebrations. They don’t have to be big, but be sure the merriment won’t take you back to your old ways. In other words, don’t celebrate healthy eating by going out for fast food! 

Once the new habit is well established, you have to stick to it. Your celebrations will get farther and farther apart until you don’t even need them anymore. Once you’ve reached this point, the occasional break back to old ways doesn’t even pose a threat, because you’ve officially broken your bad habit!

Remember, no one likes change, but it’s still good for us! Don’t let your bad habits ruin your office life—create habits you’re proud of, and your work will reflect your positive changes.

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Sarah Landrum is a marketing specialist and freelance writer trying to balance her career and writing with a social life and staying healthy. She is also the founder of Punched Clocks, a site dedicated to sharing advice on all things career. Subscribe to her blog or follow her on Twitter @SarahLandrum for more great tips.

How to Bring Your Soulmate into Your Life

Orna and Matthew Walters are expert relationship coaches who know firsthand what it’s like to struggle finding love. Luckily, both realized what was standing in their way and they found each other. Now they’ve formed Creating Love on Purpose and have advice on how you can bring your beloved into your life. 

You often use the term “beloved” interchangeably with “soulmate.” Why is this?

Matthew: We shy away from the term “soulmate” because there’s the implication that a soulmate is destined. This puts the power outside you and into the hands of fate, which is the opposite of our work. We call our work “creating love on purpose.” 

Who exactly is our “beloved”?

Orna: Your beloved, or soulmate, is someone who inspires you to grow personally and spiritually. The bond pushes you both on track towards your highest and best self.

You often reference a “love imprint.” What is that?

Matthew: Your love imprint is how you learned to receive love from your family. When you feel sudden, “accidental” attraction, you’re acting on your love imprint. This isn’t necessarily the right person for you. Many people struggling in their relationships find they’ve fallen for the same person again and again. 

Orna: Part of recognizing your love imprint is also recognizing any limiting beliefs you have. A possible limiting belief you may have is, “All the good ones are taken,” or “I’m destined to be alone.” We encourage people to discover what their subconscious blocks to love are. 

If someone doesn’t realize they are blocking love, what’s the best way to narrow down those limiting beliefs?

Matthew: Chart out the patterns in all of your relationships. What were some of the problems? What worked well? Be aware that you are the common denominator in your past relationships. Once at an event, a woman came up to us and said, “Oh I don't have a problem with men, I just need to stop meeting the crazy ones.” She didn’t yet realize that there was something in her that was attracted to the “crazy ones.”

After recognizing your internalized blocks, what’s the next step?

Orna: Don’t judge yourself harshly. As you begin to notice your own behaviors, just say, “Isn’t that interesting?” Be like a detective, without emotion, without judgment. We tell clients to “date to discover,” but the discovery is on you. Observe how you act around this person. Is it positive or negative? 

Matthew: After a date, are you beating yourself up and saying “I should've said this” or “I shouldn't have done that”? Or are you feeling the emotion of the moment, the attraction, and the excitement?

When should someone write off a relationship?

Matthew: We always say, don't eliminate people unless they have exhibited a deal breaker. You’ll know what your deal breaker is if you wouldn’t let your celebrity crush get away with it. 

Orna: For me, my deal breaker is smoking. So when I saw Ewan McGregor on the cover of GQ Magazine with a cigarette, I was like, “Oh crap. Total deal breaker!” Get clear on your values and what your deal breakers are.

What’s the number one mistake people make when looking for love?

Matthew: Making a choice based on the past, as opposed to choosing what your true heart's desire is. Due to an ex cheating on you, you may say you value honesty and fidelity. But you aren’t really acting on that, you’re acting on the anger, hurt, and sadness driving your choices. 

Orna: I would say the number one mistake people make is believing that love is something you get from another person. We don't get love from another person! We share love with another person. And it's actually the love we have for ourselves that is reflected back to us in our beloved's eyes. The key is really transforming your relationship with yourself.

How can you recognize when your beloved comes into your life?

Orna: It’s different for everyone. Often people say, “Oh it’s like a spinning in my stomach, I’m excited, but off balance, and I can’t stop thinking about him.” But that’s a love imprint match, not necessarily love. My relationship with Matthew made me feel completely grounded. It felt like my feet were firmly on the Earth and like I had roots. But I also felt like I had wings and I could take flight whenever I chose.

Want To Improve Your Work-Life Balance?

If you’re like most working women, you’re at your job at least forty hours a week, maybe even more. Then you’ve got your time for sleeping and eating, commuting to and from work, and an assortment of other activities—some habitual, some unexpected. You may feel like you never have enough time to do all you have to do, and feel unfulfilled when you can’t move on to enjoying the things you want to do. 

There’s been a lot of discussion about time management and work/life balance, and countless how-to check lists that promise to help you get your life back. There are few “one size fits all” solutions, if there are any at all (my money is on “no”). However, that does not mean there is no value in any of these systems. Quite the contrary, it’s just a matter of picking and choosing the parts that work best for you. 

First, try making a list of all the activities you do and responsibilities you have, along with the amount of time it takes you to do them. Do this for 1-2 weeks. Start with what takes up the largest chunks of your time each day: work, sleeping, child rearing, fitness goals, cooking, etc. Set a timer and time them for a concrete figure. For tracking your sleep specifically, you can use a sleep tracker, or you can use an old-fashioned stopwatch, or a phone app in order to get a more accurate assessment. And if you’re a napper, be sure to record your naps, too! 

Outline your family time. Take note of how much time you spend actively involved with your kids (if applicable), significant other, and other family members. If your children are of school age, track the time you spend helping them with homework and preparing for the next school day. A fun idea is to make it into a game with them by giving them the responsibility of starting and stopping the stopwatch to record their “mom time” each day. While you’re not likely to sacrifice quality time with your children, you may discover some chores that are appropriate to pass along to them, providing both more “quality time” activities together and giving them a sense of responsibility and pride in their work. 

Record big-ticket responsibilities. Remember these vary from person to person. Some have longer commutes and some walk to their home office right next to the bedroom, some order takeout while others cook a three-course meal, some are in bowling leagues while others knit at home. Whatever the activity, write it down and record how much time you spend at it each day. Keep a log for 1-2 weeks. 

Don’t forget the time in between. It’s essential to get an accurate count, so if you meet with your bowling league for two hours but it’s a half hour drive each way AND you spend about an hour chit-chatting with your team afterwards, you’d best be recording four hours for the whole shebang, not just the two for your league’s games. 

Categorize your activities. If, for example, the hour that you spend after bowling games feels like quality catch-up time rather than just “killing time,” categorize it accordingly. When you reflect on how much “friend time” you may want, perhaps you actually have more than you expected, if only you categorize it as such. So instead of four hours total, it might be bowling: 2 hours, travel: 1 hour, friend time: 1 hour. 

Don’t forget other hobbies and responsibilities you have. If you haven’t been keeping up with your hobbies on a regular basis, first just record the amount of time you actually spend on them. Put a note on the side of your list for the amount of time you’d like to set aside for them in your schedule on a regular basis. Once you complete your time tallying, you’ll want to go back to all the activities and responsibilities you listed and prioritize. 

Account for the little stuff. One of the tricky parts in taking inventory of your time is noting the little things. For example, brushing your teeth, selecting your outfit each day, getting dressed, preparing breakfast, your nightly skincare routine, even how long it takes you to actually fall asleep. It might sound extreme to be recording all these details every day, but remember this is temporary, just to get a baseline. 

Prioritize your activities and responsibilities by reflecting on the value, purpose, and necessity of each. You can also use the following set of questions to help you: 

How much do I enjoy this activity? 
How essential is it that I do it, or can I outsource it (and do I have the finances to do so)?
Can I find alternative ways of getting it done more quickly and efficiently?
What do I most want to do in its place? 
How can I feasibly rearrange my schedule? 
What value (financial, spiritual, emotional) do I get from this activity? 

Give yourself flex time. Save room for incidentals or unexpected activities and responsibilities. Perhaps, for example, you receive last-minute invitation to dinner with some old friends. First determine how this will alter your schedule before you say “yes” and regret it because you needed to tackle other responsibilities. 

Don't forget downtime. This may sound silly, but blocking out time specifically for “relaxation” or “doing nothing” can do a lot of good, especially for so many of us who are feeling frazzled and strapped for time. If you don’t block out the time for relaxation, are you likely to ever do it and give your body and mind the rest they need? 

After getting a strong framework for where your time goes, keeping a schedule that works for your needs will become easier to master. Remember that you can allow flexibility in your calendar. If something comes up that is imperative to take care of, by all means do it—but don’t overwhelm yourself. Be sure to have a healthy balance of downtime, responsibilities, and activities that work for your lifestyle. 

—Victoria Crispo, July 2015 Career Coach

Feeling an Itch to Create Something New?

In one of my recent articles, I introduced the idea of making plans for a transitional period before you leave a job. One of those components is a reflection you’ll probably want to give a whirl whether you are thinking about leaving your job or not—how to spend your free time in a way that makes you feel fulfilled and rejuvenated. Maybe you actually enjoy your job. You find it satisfying while you’re there, you’re challenged and enjoy your work, but you’re looking for more in other areas of your life. 

If you’ve been feeling an itch to create or learn something new, don’t brush it aside like a non-essential. You may find that discovering something new to do that sets you alight and excites you, is not only personally fulfilling, but also a great way to maintain your stamina in your professional life as well. 

We all get stuck in routines sometimes, feeling like every day is a carbon copy of the next. When this happens, having an outlet can be really worthwhile and instrumental in changing the course. Also, there are many ways to take seemingly unrelated activities and use one to find meaning in or solve a problem for the other. 

Let’s say for example you take up stone carving as a hobby. You’re hitting one particular area of a large stone with your biggest, heaviest tool and it’s not breaking in the way you want it to. It may not even be making a crack at all. Try as you might to hit with harder force, it just won’t budge. 

Might there be a task at work that you’ve been hammering at voraciously but to no avail? What if you were to use a different tactic for both your work situation and the stone carving. Perhaps by taking a smaller tool and making gentler, more precise taps to the stone, you can get the result you want. What detail might you have been missing in an attempt to obliterate that work problem? Perhaps if you take the same approach—a lighter touch and more attention to a smaller detail, you’ll get the result you really want! 

Some hobbies and activities can have very practical, tangible by-products and uses. If you register for a sewing class, you might start creating a new work wardrobe for yourself. You can fuel your hobby as well as have more creative control over the designs and styles you wear. You knows? You may even be able to build a side business with it. Imagine seeing other people wearing your own designs! 

Whatever activities you do choose, be mindful of the effects that engaging in them will have on you overall. If you’re enjoying your new hobby but constantly feel stressed due to the time constraints it leaves in your schedule, revisit your plan and find a way to incorporate it into your calendar in a more stress-free manner. The point is not to add more “have tos” to your list but to explore your desires and whims through creating and exposing yourself to new activities. 

Enjoy your time to play! 

—Victoria Crispo, July 2015 Career Coach

Dress Like a Boss in Business Casual

Dress codes have relaxed at many companies, especially during the summer months. Business casual has become the “new normal” in many workplaces every day of the week. I hope this article helps many navigate through the blurred lines of what business casual looks like as many people have no idea what this means. For the record, business casual means skipping the traditional looks at work (like a suit or suited look) for a more relaxed version of professional attire like slacks and a pullover top or jeans with a blouse or sweater. 

Much of the misconception comes from the word “relaxed” clothing at the office. The primary issues with most business casual looks are that people dress for the office like they would for a lazy Saturday afternoon at home or what looks like they were taking a quick run to the corner market.  Key to the success of appropriate casual attire is asking yourself, “Is what I’m wearing appropriate if… a last minute meeting with a client springs up?” or if you have to drop by an unscheduled evening event with your boss/colleagues. 

Here are a few pointers to keep you happily casual and professionally appropriate:

 

Everyone runs to denim when you think business casual. I think there are so many options for great casual work wear, you should add more variety. Try limiting your denim pieces to no more than 2 days a week. Wednesdays and Fridays are always great days for those looks; hump day and the end of the week feel celebratory to me but choose what you like. 

Pair with almost any type top/blouse or keep it monochromatic and wear a denim shirt. Denim doesn’t automatically mean jeans. Denim skirts are just a comfortable, stylish and a great day to night convertible piece for evening. Denim is a great blank canvas for your style statement as well. Pairing it with simple or standout statement necklaces, flats or heels is totally your choice. That’s effortless styling at its best. Make sure the jeans are clean, pressed (no middle crease ever) and if you do distressed keep the holes small with little exposed skin; too much skin in risky places can offend so stay clear of oversharing your body parts.  Less is more!

As for the rest of the week, go for styles like: 

Cropped pants  

Flowy tops, fitted button-up shirt or tanks

Khakis (not just pants anymore; try skirts, blazers and cropped cargos) 

  

Sweaters (wear as a layered piece; great for cold workplaces). If you wear a bold color sweater, balance with a neutral, navy or classic primary color and if sweater is neutral, navy, black or classic primary color make sure to counter the pant, shirt underneath or shoes with pattern and color. It’s all about the balance.

T-shirts are a great way to “pair down” a suit pant or slacks that you would normally wear to work and still be cool and appropriate without much effort or added cost. Graphic tees are great ways to add whimsy and fun to your look. Be careful to pick an image or saying that is neutral and non-offensive to others (nothing alluding to race, religion, sex, politics, etc…). There are tons of great solids tees with V-neck collars in bright bold colors which are easy winning combinations with any traditional suiting as well. I like V-necks better than other necklines because they leave a little more exposed skin which is the perfect amount for clavicle exposure or simply space for accessories without the interruption of fabric. 

Blazers there are tons of choices in colors and cuts for blazers. Always have one with you to add polish to a casual look 

Black or neutral colored heel also another perfect go to in a pinch when needing to quickly upgrade your casual look for a last minute meeting. 

Paramount to anything mentioned above; make sure the FIT is FLATTERING and of course FASHION FORWARD. Enjoy your summer!

Pamela Watson is an experienced stylist who currently works as the trend expert for Builders of Style, where she prepares A-list clients for red carpet events, music videos, concerts and award shows. Check our her fashion blog here. Have a question for Pamela? Ask below!

Are You Applying to the Right Jobs?

“Should I apply to this job?”

When your job search has been long, tedious, and unfruitful, it may seem like this question is a moot point. If you aren’t getting results, you may think your best course of action is to apply to as many jobs as possible. 

In reality that’s probably not the case, especially if your application strategy has been to use one staple resume and click the “apply now” button on every job that sounds right. A better use of your time is to strategically customize your application documents, and since it takes longer, it may require you to apply for fewer jobs. Taking the approach of quality over quantity can really work well however, and save you many clicks of the Submit button—an activity which probably has had you wondering if your resume goes not to the employer but that infamous “black hole”. 

The following clues, many of which are right in the job description, should help you decipher whether or not you should apply for the job: 

When was the listing posted? 

This little bit of information can really save you a lot of time. My rule of thumb is to focus on the most recently posted jobs first. Anything over three weeks should have lower priority. I say this after learning about the findings of a report by Indeed and the Centre for Economic and Business Research (CEBR), which states that about 43% of vacancies are filled in about 30 days. The listings you see on the job sites are likely to stay active until they expire (they paid for them to be live for a certain time period, after all), even if a hiring decision was made. Knowing this, it makes sense to start with the jobs that are most likely to still be available. If you find one over three weeks old that you’re really excited about, try to find out if the company is still seeking applicants before you use your precious time applying for an opportunity that may no longer exist. 

What are the job responsibilities? 

Many job seekers hone in on the list of qualifications first and if they see a match, they just apply right away. Try taking a different approach. Before applying, read through the entire listing, especially the job responsibilities. What will you be doing in the job? Is it work you are familiar with and are not only able to do, but want to do?  Also use this information to figure out what parts of your previous experience are most related to the position – these are the ones you should highlight on your resume. 

What is the name of the organization? 

Did you miss this other important piece of information in your haste to apply? Always know what organization you’re applying to, and before you send in your application, research the company and find out its mission and core business. You may also want to identify their competitors, newest products and services, and other details that can help you craft your application. For example, if you’ve worked with products similar to the ones the company manufactures or will be launching in the near future, you can play this up on your resume. 

To whom does the role report? 

Not all job listings will include this information, but when they do, use it to your advantage. Knowing the job title of the person you’ll report to can help you get an idea of the company’s organizational structure. It may also help you determine how quickly you can anticipate a promotion. Lastly, if you know the manager’s title, you might be able to search for a name and contact information so that you can follow-up directly with the person who will be making the hiring decision. 

How is the listing written? 

Is it written with fun words and flair or is it staid, straight-forward content? Think about your personality and the type of environment in which you most thrive. If the listing is putting you to sleep, how likely is it that the job will excite you? Review the language used to figure out what type of organization it is, how they might treat their employees, and assess whether it’s a good fit for you. 

What about your mission? 

After you’ve read the company’s mission statement, take a moment to reflect on whether it resonates with you. Is it a cause or goal you can really get behind? 

In addition, think about your personal mission and goals. From what you see in the listing, will this job afford you the opportunity to carry them out? If not, what else is motivating you to apply for the job? What other outlets are available to you in order to meet your goals or fulfill your passions? 

Remember that there is no “right” or “wrong” answer. There are many ways to determine a job’s value and whether it is “right” for you. The list provided is simply a starting point to give you food for thought and make informed decisions in the application process.  Best of luck!  

—Victoria Crispo, July 2015 Career Coach

What to Do before You Leave Your Job

Lately, the issue of “burnout” has been on the minds of many professionals as they feel overworked and overwhelmed. Many career experts have addressed how to identify the tell-tale signs that it’s time to leave your job. You’re not sleeping well, you’re feeling anxious and stressed, you’re lashing out and impatient, and your outlook is cynical. Your health—mental, emotional, and physical—is probably suffering, and your relationships could be, too. 

Once you’re convinced it’s time to leave your job, what do you do? While it may be appealing to just walk away, it’s a good idea to have a plan for “in the meantime.” Unless you have already set the wheels into motion, it’s unlikely that your next opportunity will come overnight. It’s a good idea to set yourself up for success before you put in your notice. Here’s how! 

Make financial preparations

Don’t just quit without a plan for meeting your financial obligations. Do you already have several months’ worth of expenses saved up? What are alternative ways for you to generate income while you are out of work? Three months of living expenses is a common recommendation, but I would try for six or nine. Also consider emergencies and other unexpected expenses. Decide how you will manage them should they come to pass. If it turns out that you will be scrounging for your next meal, now might not be the time to quit and remove your financial safety net. 

Decide where you’ll go next

Will you start a business, try your hand a freelancing, or search for another traditional job? Whatever you decide, be sure you map out your plan for achieving your goal. Whether you start a business or a new job search, some of your activities will be similar: reaching out to your networks, identifying the skills and resources you need, and creating a support network. If you decide to start a business, you may want to get a business coach or use some of the free resources accessible to you (such as your state’s Small Business Services center). If you’ll be transitioning to a new field, allot for extra time to help you navigate through that process. Figure out where to look for jobs, how to revamp your resume, whether you’ll need to freshen up your skills, and who you can reach out to during your search. 

Figure out if you need to enhance your skills

Identify any skills you’ll need to improve before you leave your current job. The reason is twofold. One, if there is an opportunity to gain the skill at your current job, jump at the chance. Two, if your new career requires a certification or additional studies, you may need to revisit your financial situation and see how feasible it will be for you to take on the added expense. 

If you can stomach remaining at your organization for a few more months, use the time to be mindful of the work that you do and the accomplishments you achieve at work. Take notes and include anything relevant on your resume. 

Cement your work relationships

You may have lost touch with some people you used to work closely with at your job. Before you leave, reconnect in a way that feels authentic. You can rely on your contacts’ networks and resources, but you’ll want to manage your relationships in such a way that your friends and colleagues don’t feel used. Reconnect and show your coworkers your interest in them as people, not just coworkers. Don’t let the next time they hear from you be on LinkedIn with a request for a recommendation. Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot and act accordingly. 

Ask around

Start putting out your feelers and ask questions. Turn to your networks and contacts, even people who are not in your desired career field. You never know who knows someone who knows someone. Ask questions that will help you get a view of different landscapes throughout your field and related career areas. What are the top skills that are sought after among new hires in your field? Are there any new skills you’ll need to gain entry into your career area of interest? You can (and should) continue these inquiries even after you leave your job, but it’s a good idea to get started as soon as possible. 

Develop a schedule

As part of your exit plan, be sure to coordinate a schedule for how you’ll spend your days when you no longer have a job to go to. You don’t necessarily have to set it in stone, but blocking out your time will give you a sense of purpose. Many people find out all too quickly that having nothing on their schedules day after day leads to quite a lot of time spent in pajamas, binge-watching favorite shows, and eating ice cream out of the gallon container. And that tends to lead to… inertia, which doesn’t get you far when you need to find a job. 

Reactions to new-found time after leaving a job can vary greatly. Some people may already have a ton of ideas for using their time for professional pursuits and pleasure. Others may panic. Once the thrill of not having to set an alarm wafts over you, there can be the sinking feeling of not knowing what to do with all the time you now have. When your routine is gone, you may feel unsettled with nothing in its place. Have an idea of how you will structure your time. 

Factor in time for rest and rejuvenation

Let’s face it—your job was taxing and zapped your energy, otherwise you wouldn’t have left. Definitely take the time you need to get back to your very best you. You deserve time off, but temper it with the action plans you created so that you can keep momentum up and find your next opportunity on your own timeline. Apathy tends to breed more of itself, so make a conscious effort to maintain your stamina and keep your momentum up. Time for rest and relaxation is a part of the schedule you’ll be creating, not the only thing on the roster. 

Set up alternative methods of learning new skills

Consider volunteering, taking on a side project, or setting up a pro bono project. While you’re not working, it’s essential to keep your skills fresh and gain new accomplishments to add to your resume or professional bio. Also identify opportunities for coursework, seminars, or certifications. 

The decision to leave a job can be a difficult one. It may feel daunting to stick it out a few extra months when it’s already been taking its toll, but by setting your safeguards in place, you can get to your next step with more confidence and a great sense of security and control.

—Victoria Crispo, July 2015 Career Coach

The Secret to Having a Best Friend

A NEW video about best friends!

We asked the womenworking.com community to describe their best friend in one sentence. Here are some of their wonderful answers. 

Video Editor: Elizabeth Marino

Be an Assertive Job Candidate

As a career coach, one of the things that really surprises me about job seekers is the apprehension that surrounds asserting themselves throughout the process. While I work with clients on enhancing their confidence and presentation, one of the areas where they fall short is in keeping it up after the interviewing process. 

I’ve worked with countless individuals who have gotten discouraged after going on an interview and not hearing back. After asking if they’ve followed up, the answer is usually “no!” This surprises me, as I always recommend writing a thank you note after an interview.This not only shows appreciation for the time your interviewer spent, but also serves as a reminder of your candidacy. You can reference an anecdote you told during your interview, reiterate your strengths, and summarize how those strengths meet the needs of the organization. Sometimes the note helps you hear back from the employer, and other times, you’re still waiting. 

When that happens, take an assertive step and follow up with the organization. Many job seekers, particularly women, shirk at the idea of making another point of contact with their interviewer. If I could quell those feelings of apprehension and fear on behalf of job seekers everywhere, I sure would! 

However, we all know that’s not realistic. So I’m here to address once and for all that yes, it is okay to touch base and follow up with your interviewer. 

How long should I wait? 

Well, you should start with a thank you note (yes, you can email it). Get that out no later than 24-36 hours after your interview. Sooner is better, but don’t come to your interview with one pre-written. Personalize your note after your interview so you can mention something that you discussed during it. Give yourself some time to process your interactions. Take the most memorable part of your conversation and reference it. 

Sometimes employers don’t get back to you because they are entrenched in other responsibilities. Remember that the problem may not necessarily be with you, but time constraints. Yes, they may choose another candidate, but rather than dwell on that, work on your other applications and find your right fit! 

What should I say? 

Reiterate your interest in the position, share a wow-worthy anecdote that makes you a great fit for the job, and reference a topic you discussed during your interview. If you recently read an article that relates to your conversation, mention it (with a link to the article) and how it is relevant to your discussion and the organization’s needs. Conclude with your contact information and availability to talk about the position in more detail. 

How many times should I reach out? 

After your thank you note, I would give it the “three strikes and you’re out” approach. But use clues from your interviewer as a guide. If they anticipate that the hiring decision will be made in the next week, don’t wait a week to follow up. If your interviewer will be on a two-week vacation, wait until they get back. 

Don’t contact the organization more than once a day. Of course, if you decide to make a phone call and don’t get through, you can try again later in the day, as long as you don’t keep leaving messages each time. If you’re relying on email, leave at least a few days in between each attempt at contact. Persistence is good, in small quantities. Avoid going overboard. And if after three attempts you still don’t hear a peep from them, drop it and move on.

What if they respond but don’t seem interested? 

Let’s say you write a glowing email and while you do hear back from your interviewer, it’s an abrupt, “thank you. We’ll be in touch”? Remember that each organization has a different way of doing things and a different style. For some, it may not be their style to give clues to their hiring decisions until a choice is officially made and an offer is extended. In that case, take a day or two to respond with, “Thank you. I look forward to hearing from you.” Or cordially ask about their time frame for making the decision to hire. You don’t need to keep gushing about the position, but take the opportunity to close the loop with a request for a timeline. Even if they don’t respond, it keeps you in the mindset of taking control of your needs. 

Then move on to put the emphasis on your next interview! 

Remember, even if you’re one to shy away from following up with an organization after an interview or after applying for a job, it really is up to you to show initiative and interest in the position. Don’t wait to get “permission” from someone who assures you that it’s okay to follow up. You are entitled to seek out an update on your stance as a candidate. Take the bull by the horns and do it! 

—Victoria Crispo, July 2015 Career Coach