Helene Lerner's Blog, page 120

Building a "Healthy" Business

From doctor to entrepreneur

We spoke with Dr. Ayala Laufer-Cahana. Helene recently tried her herbal waters and now she's a convert.

When you were growing up, was there one person who saw something you didn’t see in yourself? What was that and how has that helped you to move forward in your career?

My parents believed in me, and instilled the idea that everything’s possible – provided I’m willing to really put my heart and hard work into it.

Here’s another observation for those of you who feel self-doubt. I know many successful, high achieving women, and I know this to be true of them:

All women struggle with insecurity – they still have the teenager inside them, looking into the mirror, completely uncertain about the image reflected back. Knowing we’re all a bit like that can help women realize that confidence is hard to feel consistently, that we all have to fake it to feel it sometimes, and that this doubt can be made into a force of good, pushing us to improve ourselves and the world.

You are an established physician. What made you decide to take the risk of starting a business? What were some of the obstacles you faced and how did you overcome them?

I was always advising parents to stay away from sugary drinks, because they have so many empty calories and so much junk, and they are very habit forming. 

And since I try very hard to practice what I preach, and I truly believe that anything you put in your mouth should taste good, and not just be good for you, I started exploring calorie-free beverages for my family and for my guests.

I grow an organic herb garden, and have an abundance of herbs in the warm months. Culinary herbs are the natural way to flavor anything. Herbs are also, to me one of the most sensual foods, and really connect you to nature and memories. I would make herbal beverages to pair with meals, and offer our guests as an alternative to water or wine. They came to expect it, and asked for it whenever they came.

Their enthusiasm led my husband and me to believe that this beverage answers a need in the market, and should be made commercially available. 

As a mother of three, a physician and now an entrepreneur you have a lot on your plate. How do you do it all? Any tips for other women?

We all have a lot on our plate, don’t we? Our work is never done.

Passion for what I do really gives me lots of energy, and I do enjoy hard work.

I actually think that having kids helps me be more productive—I’m forced to find balance, prioritize, and always behave like a grown up.

When I feel overwhelmed, I reconnect with nature. I go out and work in my garden, go for a walk, or paint. I’ll usually come back realizing that my worries are mundane and petty, and the world is big and interesting and full of wonder, and I’m ready to take it on!

What was the biggest adjustment you faced in making a major career change?

I had to learn a whole new field – it’s challenging, with potential for lots of personal growth, but of course quite scary, and since we created a whole new beverage category, there really was no clear path on how to do this.

So I went from a profession that I trained for, over many years, and was rather good at, in which I had teachers, mentors, people I admired and wanted to emulate, to something I knew little about and had to find my own way.

Not coming in with a beverage background ended up being a plus, as I naturally think out of the box. When it comes to the mission of the company, I think like a physician and a mom: I want to change the food landscape, and to help educate people, especially kids, about how food habits affect obesity and chronic diseases such as type 2 diabetes.

Where do you see your business going in five years? 10 years?

As people are becoming more aware of the consequences of sugary drinks, the demand for healthy, calorie free drinks is growing steadily. I see Herbal Water going into mainstream grocery stores, demand growing not only among those already doing something to for their well-being, but everywhere. 

What advice would you give your younger self about building a successful career and becoming a leader?

Don’t be shy. Don’t be afraid. Dare to be different.

What was the most significant roadblock you have encountered in your career? How did you rise above it and what did it teach you?

I was pretty conflicted when I was about 37 – I had three young kids who were growing fast, I was out of home many hours and missed them, and I felt that a big part of what I liked about myself was disappearing. My husband encouraged me to take a year off – that was a very hard decision to make, but the first day in which I didn’t have a job to go to was like a revelation. I realized I am myself even without a title and patients needing me. I realized you could have new chapters in you life.

A few years later, when I started Herbal Water I knew that somehow, my worlds are converging, and in Herbal Water I’m able to integrate my passion for healthy living and nutrition education, be a voice for prevention, and lead the creative, passionate life I want.

As someone who is passionate about science and nutrition, why do you feel it is important young girls take an interest in these kind of careers? How can we get them excited?

When looking at career and study options, look for the intersection of what interests you and what you can be good at, but also at what will be in demand.

The natural world and the sciences are awesomely interesting; I really can’t imagine anyone who cannot be fascinated – if they give it a chance. Too many people are afraid of the science, math and engineering fields, and improving access to these fields is critical, because the jobs of tomorrow are likely to require a lot of minds trained in these areas.

Talk to us about your painting. What are your other hobbies ? Favorite movies? Favorite books? Are you engaged in any philanthropic activities?

I paint in oils, I love color, and my paintings are abstract admirations of the natural world.

I love reading. I’m in two book clubs, a mother-daughter book club with my 15-year-old, and the other with a wonderful group of women, who inspire me greatly.

It’s impossible to pick favorite books, but here are a few I loved:

State of Wonder, Ann Patchet
Life of Pi, Yann Martel
The Emperor of All Maladies, Siddhartha Mukherjee
The Signature of All Things, Elizabeth Gilbert

My husband and I go out to a movie almost every week – we see movies almost exclusively on the big screen.

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One lucky person will receive a gift basket of Ayala's herbal beverages. To enter our drawing, join our website network by 5pm eastern, Thursday, February 27. (This drawing only applies to U.S. residents.)

The gift basket, a $100 value, will include:
2 mixed flavor cases of Still Herbal Water,
1 case mixed flavors Ayala's Herbal Tea
1 case mixed flavors Sparkling Herbal Water

How to Negotiate Change

We all know someone who would benefit from changing a behavior that’s really holding them back in some way. We might look at them and think, “Doesn’t he see that his arrogance is costing him the promotion he wants?” or we might think, “She’s been talking about taking more risks for a year; why doesn’t she just do it?”

Of course, it’s always easier to look at other people and how they need to change. But there are likely changes we would benefit from ourselves but haven’t bade yet. Perhaps you’ve thought about being more assertive or learning to be more empathetic with others. Whatever it might be, here are two things you need to know to bring about change, growth and development in your life or your organization:

Change Is Often Harder Than We Think. This week I received a marketing piece promoting a two-day workshop on developing communication and influence skills. I read it with great interest because the person presenting the workshop is someone I respect. However, in the marketing piece, he said, “I spent a lifetime learning these skills and you will master them in two days.”
Seriously? I don’t think so. The promise in the brochure only sets the reader up for disappointment and makes it more difficult for them to learn and make the changes they want to make from their investment of time and money in the workshop. “Mastery” is a change process that takes a great deal more time than two days.

What’s my point? Simply that oftentimes we fail in our efforts to change as individuals or companies because we underestimate the time, energy and effort that is required. Failing to take that into account will make the process harder than it has to be.

Change Is Often Easier Than We Think. Does that contradict my first point? No. Because while we sometimes have a tendency to underestimate the difficulty of change, at other times, we overestimate. You can probably think of times in your life when you’ve made a change and it was easier than you anticipated. What about when you first learned to ride a bike? When the training wheels came off, you thought you would never be able to do it—but you did, and it was easier than you predicted.

What makes change easier versus harder? Being honest with ourselves about whether we really want to make the change is the starting point. Having a realistic plan turns what could be really difficult into something that is comparatively easy. Getting support makes all the difference in the world when it comes to making change easier. Celebrating your progress makes change not only easier, but more enjoyable.

Alan Allard, Executive Coach and Speaker
www.alanallard.com

Strategies to Help You Make a Real Impact

Christina Weiss Lurie, co-owner of the NFL's Philadelphia Eagles, is no stranger to change. Growing up, her family moved from Mexico to England and she had to adjust to a very different environment.

“My family was adventurous, so I never felt limited by my circumstances. Trying new things didn’t scare me. It felt more like an opportunity.”

She has had a diverse career in film, philanthropy and the NFL. Heed her advice on using your ideas to make a real impact.

Ditch the “big idea.” It’s not about trying to come up with the next big thing. Even smaller ideas can have a significant impact if they’re implemented effectively. A few years ago, we wanted to raise awareness about breast cancer. Our “big idea” was to light up Lincoln Financial Field pink – but that was cost prohibitive. Instead, we sold pink caps during October, Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It was a smaller idea, but to date we’ve raised over $1 million for the cause and helped to open the Jefferson Breast Care Center at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital.

Call in the reinforcements. Get input from experts. When we were planning Huddle Up for Autism, we partnered with Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. They worked with us so we could meet the logistical needs of the kids and the families who are affected by autism.

Stretch your resources. Knowing how to make the most of what you have is critical. I’ve worked on independent films with very small budgets and I was always looking for people who had the skills to make a great product with limited financial resources. I was the executive producer of Game 6, which starred Michael Keaton and Robert Downey Jr. – big stars who were used to Hollywood budgets. But they were incredibly generous and understood the limitations of a smaller film. They made the adjustment and gave fantastic performances.

Make it a “win-win.” When we launched Go Green, our goal was to divert 99% of the stadium’s waste away from landfills and we needed our vendors on board. We worked with Aramark to find the right environmentally friendly products and, when it worked with us, it motivated them to use those products in their other venues. They came through and started using compostable cups made of corn and napkins made of recycled materials.

Play to your strengths. Always be curious about finding new ways to put your strengths and experiences to use. When I first got involved with the Eagles, I wanted to discover how I could apply my interests in the arts and philanthropy to my work with the team. Early on, Jermane Mayberry, one of our players, told me he was legally blind in one eye and wanted to promote vision health. I was able to use my background in philanthropy to help create the Eagles Eye Mobile, which gives glasses to 2,500 children every year, enabling them to read, learn and improve their lives.

-Sarah Cooke

3 Communication Mistakes You Need to Avoid

In my last blog post, we looked at three tips to help you become a better communicator. Ironically enough, the very next day, I was reminded again that knowing how to communicate like a pro isn’t enough—we have to actually use what we know. I was reminded of this yesterday when a colleague called me to discuss something important to her—and before we finished our conversation, I made these three common communication mistakes: 

Lack of focus and mindfulness: When my colleague called me, I wanted to talk with her because she is almost always available to me when I need to get her input. Despite the fact that I was running behind and had a lot on my mind when she called, I told her I would be happy to talk then. You already know what happened; I was distracted and not able to fully listen to her for the short time we had to talk. That was my first mistake.

Not scheduling enough time: My colleague wanted to talk about something related to her work—and I knew we had strongly different opinions about the subject matter. I “should” have known that it was unrealistic for us to tackle the subject matter in the time we had. I could have scheduled a better time for us to talk—but I didn’t. That was my second mistake.

Ignoring the warning signs: It’s not that our discussion was going poorly. It’s that we weren’t connecting like we usually do.  I also realized I was preoccupied with the time because I had another task begging for my attention. Given that, it’s not surprising that I found myself feeling frustrated. The warning signs were all around me—but I wasn’t paying close enough attention to them. That was my third mistake.

I make my living by communicating. But the fact is, it doesn’t matter how good we are in the communication department, school is never out for the professional. And if we ever think it is, the next lesson is just around the corner—and that’s a good thing. That’s how we learn and make fewer mistakes.

Alan Allard, Executive Coach and Speaker
www.alanallard.com

How to Communicate Better Starting Today

Yesterday, a middle-level manager called me to talk about his upcoming performance review with his new boss. Although he has had quite a few remarkable achievements during the past twelve months, he was feeling a little nervous about the review because of a seemingly casual statement his new boss had made: “Write down your view of your performance the past year and then I’ll write down what I think.” What does that mean? My client interpreted it as, “Write down what you think of your performance, then, I’ll let you know how you really did.”

What’s the point of this true story? It’s that just because we think we excel in communication doesn’t mean we do. The problem is that most of us would rate ourselves fairly high in the communication department. However, communication is rarely as easy as we think it is. Here are two tips to help you be a better communicator:

Allow others to be the judge: Whether at work, at home or among your friends—you don’t get to grade yourself in the communication department. That job belongs to the ones you interact and communicate with—they’re the ones who get to pass out the grades. Why is that? Because we can’t depend upon our ability to be objective when it comes to our communication. Studies show that we tend to rate ourselves higher than average in just about everything—from our driving to our communication.

Get feedback often: If you want to be a better communicator, you have to get feedback. When is the last time you asked for feedback on your ability to communicate clearly and effectively? One of the biggest mistakes managers and leaders make is talking too much and listening too little. Ask your family, especially your significant other, if you have one, what you can focus on to become a better communicator.

When it comes to our communication skills, there is never a time to get complacent. If it’s not on our radar, we will find ourselves slipping into poor communication habits without realize it. Decide today that you will be more aware of your communication, that you will focus on improving them, and that you will periodically ask for feedback. You will be glad you did—and those around you will be too.

Alan Allard, Executive Coach and Speaker
www.alanallard.com

5 Strategies for Leading with Influence

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Suzie Mills’ love of business began at a young age. Her mother and step-father owned a pub, where she began helping out at age eight to earn pocket money.

Now, Suzie is the General Manager of Trump International Hotel and Tower. Here are her tips for leading with influence:

Do your fair share. As a leader, it’s not beneath you to roll up your sleeves and pitch in when needed. Not long ago, we had a terrible flood and my phone rang at 3:00 in the morning. So I got up and went to the hotel to help out. I was on my hands and knees, mopping up the water. It’s important to show your team that, in good times and bad, you’re there for them and you’ll do your part.

Celebrate everyday victories. Acknowledging the hard work your team members are doing is crucial, especially when they go above and beyond. Once, a guest was staying with us for several days in a room that had a fish tank. She noticed the fish looked sick and asked us to do something. One of our employees got a solution from the local pet store, and administered it. The fish improved quickly and everyone was happy. I made sure to congratulate the associate for a job well-done.

Encourage others to step up. One of the elements of our culture that I am most proud of is grooming associates who are looking for that next step in their careers. I benefited from that early on, and I have made a commitment to continuing this trend. When you see a fellow co-worker promoted, who has worked side by side with you on holidays, overnights, through difficult and also through exciting times, you take pride in their advancement. We have grown a group of loyal and strong performers.

Keep the lines open. It’s important to communicate honestly with your team on a daily basis. Here at the hotel, we have what we call “Trump Talks,” our daily meetings where we review our goals and challenges. And on a monthly basis, we have our Direct Line Meetings, which give our associates a chance to share with me about any obstacles they’re facing. More than once, these conversations have helped put out potential fires.

Walk in their shoes. Be knowledgeable about the roles performed by all of the people you’re working with and the stresses associated with those jobs, whether it’s the person sorting the linen, or the one checking in the guests. At the end of the day, it’s about providing an excellent customer experience. If I understand and support my team – offer training and create a positive work environment – that will be apparent to the guests.

What You Need to do to Stop Criticizing Yourself

Let’s talk about your “Inner Critic” for a moment. You know, that “voice” inside your head that is judgmental and always ready to chime in, whether you’ve asked it to or not. You might be like most of my clients, who tell me they hate their “Inner Critic” and wish they could get rid of it.

But they can’t, so they try to shut it down, they try to ignore it and they try to overpower it. Guess who wins? With most of us, it’s our “Inner Critic,” hands down. But that’s not true for everyone. Especially those who have learned to quit fighting with their inner critic and to start coaching it instead.

If this idea appeals to you, here are three ways to coach your “Inner Critic” and make it your ally.

Recognize the positive intent of your ”Inner Critic.” It isn’t trying to hurt you in some way or to make you feel small or stupid. It’s trying to help you do better, to warn you of something, or perhaps it’s trying to “motivate” you. Realize that while what it’s doing isn’t helpful, its intent is golden. This might sound crazy, but coaching has to be done from a place of unconditional positive regard—and that’s what you have to give your “Inner Critic.”

Build a rapport with your “Inner Critic.” If you don’t learn how to connect with it, you’ll be fighting with it forever. Tell your “Inner Critic” you want to get along and that you are open to its ideas and viewpoints. Remember Covey’s principle of “Seek First to Understand”? You already know what happens when you try to argue with or dismiss your “Inner Critic” for being your enemy. Why not get in rapport with your “Inner Critic” so you can be in a position to coach it?

Have a conversation with your “Inner Critic.” Coaching takes place in conversations. The coach is there to support the client in reaching his or her goals. If you're going to coach it, you have to find out what it wants and what it’s trying to do. How can you do that? By asking good questions. I know, this is a little crazy, but humor me. Ask your "Inner Critic" sincere questions. Then listen without judgment. Ask some more questions. Then, when you have a strong enough rapport with your “Inner Critic,” you will be is a position to influence it. Here’s an example of having an effective conversation with your “Inner Critic”:

You: Hello there. I appreciate you taking the time to speak up and voice your opinion. You just said that I’m a failure and I should quit trying to get what I want. Can you tell me why you say that? I think you’re here to help me and I know you have a good reason for saying what you did.

Inner Critic: Really? If that’s true, why couldn’t you have said that ten years ago. All you’ve been doing is fighting me and trying to beat me down. 

You: Wait just a minute! Who do you think you are? Let me tell you something…okay, let me compose myself and try again. I’m sorry—and things will be different from now on. I’m going to listen to you and do my best to understand where you’re coming from. I know you’re really smart and I want to have you on my side. So, would you be willing to tell me why you think I’m a failure and that I should quit trying to get what I want?

Inner Critic: I told you that because I’ve been with you the hundreds of times you got excited about reaching a goal and you put your heart into it. What happens when you do that? You fail, that’s what. Then you’re left with all that disappointment. I don’t want to see you hurt again, that’s all. That’s why I said what I did.

You: I can understand that—and I appreciate you trying to look after me. But may I ask you a question?

Inner Critic: Of course. Just don’t ask a dumb one.

You: (After you take a breath and calm down) Would you be willing to work with me on finding a way to reach my goals—and to deal with the disappointments the times I fail? After all, you’re good at seeing potential mistakes I might make. I want you to warn me about them, but would you be willing to do that in a way that might be more constructive?

You get the idea. Befriend your inner critic and coach it. I’ve worked with hundreds of clients who have tried this and I use this approach myself. I can tell you it works—if you will give it a fair shot. It will be well worth your time and energy to learn how to coach your “Inner Critic.” In fact, one day soon, it will be thanking you.

Alan Allard, Executive Coach and Speaker
www.alanallard.com

You had the power all along, my dear!

Glinda, the good witch says to Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, "You've had the power all along, my dear!"

And isn't that statement the truth? We have always had the power, but there are times we give it away:

            When we say Yes, and mean NO.

            When we act to "people-please" instead of pleasing ourselves.

            When we are not authentic....

                                                      and the list goes on.

 

Today, take your power back. Be aware when you are inauthentic, PAUSE, and then do or say what you really mean.  The choice is yours!

Learn the Secret of a Love Potion--It's Hot Chocolate

We recently caught up with Maury Rubin, owner of City Bakery in New York. The bakery's Hot Chocolate Festival features a different flavor for every day of February, like caramel and malted milk, with a special Love Potion Hot Chocolate for Valentine's Day.

Why You Need to Apologize First

Relationships can be challenging, whether it's with our family, friends or colleagues. They take time to build, but they can be damaged quickly with a few ill-chosen words, a careless look or a forgotten promise. The late Stephen R. Covey, Ph.D. used a metaphor he called the “Emotional Bank Account,” telling us that in our relationships, we are always either making deposits or withdrawals.

Here are three ways to make more “deposits” in your relationships’ bank accounts:

Make the little things the big things: When you go to an interview or when you’re meeting someone new for a business lunch, you’re likely to remember the “little things” like smiling and saying “thank you.” At the office or at home, these little things are even bigger because they are the deposits into our most important accounts. Pay attention to the little things with the people you are most around and you won’t run the risk of getting an “insufficient funds” notice.

Be the first to apologize: Even the best of relationships have their ups and downs. When the latter happens, take the high road to break through the tension and say something like, “I’m sorry, can we begin again?” The actual words aren’t the most important thing; your intent is. No, this isn’t the easiest thing to do, but it’s an almost guaranteed way to make a deposit of good will in that important relationship.

Accentuate the positive: We know that nobody is perfect, but it's easy to forget that at times—after all, we’re not perfect. Is that annoying co-worker really that bad—or have you fallen into the habit of tuning into the annoyances while tuning out the positives they offer? If so, make a game out of paying attention to their positive traits and putting their imperfections into perspective. If you want to up your game, tell them once a week something you respect or appreciate about them. The next time you take a look at your relationship bank account with them, you’ll see both the deposits and the interest you’ve earned along the way. 

Alan Allard, Executive Coach and Speaker
www.alanallard.com