How to Negotiate Change

We all know someone who would benefit from changing a behavior that’s really holding them back in some way. We might look at them and think, “Doesn’t he see that his arrogance is costing him the promotion he wants?” or we might think, “She’s been talking about taking more risks for a year; why doesn’t she just do it?”

Of course, it’s always easier to look at other people and how they need to change. But there are likely changes we would benefit from ourselves but haven’t bade yet. Perhaps you’ve thought about being more assertive or learning to be more empathetic with others. Whatever it might be, here are two things you need to know to bring about change, growth and development in your life or your organization:

Change Is Often Harder Than We Think. This week I received a marketing piece promoting a two-day workshop on developing communication and influence skills. I read it with great interest because the person presenting the workshop is someone I respect. However, in the marketing piece, he said, “I spent a lifetime learning these skills and you will master them in two days.”
Seriously? I don’t think so. The promise in the brochure only sets the reader up for disappointment and makes it more difficult for them to learn and make the changes they want to make from their investment of time and money in the workshop. “Mastery” is a change process that takes a great deal more time than two days.

What’s my point? Simply that oftentimes we fail in our efforts to change as individuals or companies because we underestimate the time, energy and effort that is required. Failing to take that into account will make the process harder than it has to be.

Change Is Often Easier Than We Think. Does that contradict my first point? No. Because while we sometimes have a tendency to underestimate the difficulty of change, at other times, we overestimate. You can probably think of times in your life when you’ve made a change and it was easier than you anticipated. What about when you first learned to ride a bike? When the training wheels came off, you thought you would never be able to do it—but you did, and it was easier than you predicted.

What makes change easier versus harder? Being honest with ourselves about whether we really want to make the change is the starting point. Having a realistic plan turns what could be really difficult into something that is comparatively easy. Getting support makes all the difference in the world when it comes to making change easier. Celebrating your progress makes change not only easier, but more enjoyable.

Alan Allard, Executive Coach and Speaker
www.alanallard.com