How to Communicate Better Starting Today

Yesterday, a middle-level manager called me to talk about his upcoming performance review with his new boss. Although he has had quite a few remarkable achievements during the past twelve months, he was feeling a little nervous about the review because of a seemingly casual statement his new boss had made: “Write down your view of your performance the past year and then I’ll write down what I think.” What does that mean? My client interpreted it as, “Write down what you think of your performance, then, I’ll let you know how you really did.”

What’s the point of this true story? It’s that just because we think we excel in communication doesn’t mean we do. The problem is that most of us would rate ourselves fairly high in the communication department. However, communication is rarely as easy as we think it is. Here are two tips to help you be a better communicator:

Allow others to be the judge: Whether at work, at home or among your friends—you don’t get to grade yourself in the communication department. That job belongs to the ones you interact and communicate with—they’re the ones who get to pass out the grades. Why is that? Because we can’t depend upon our ability to be objective when it comes to our communication. Studies show that we tend to rate ourselves higher than average in just about everything—from our driving to our communication.

Get feedback often: If you want to be a better communicator, you have to get feedback. When is the last time you asked for feedback on your ability to communicate clearly and effectively? One of the biggest mistakes managers and leaders make is talking too much and listening too little. Ask your family, especially your significant other, if you have one, what you can focus on to become a better communicator.

When it comes to our communication skills, there is never a time to get complacent. If it’s not on our radar, we will find ourselves slipping into poor communication habits without realize it. Decide today that you will be more aware of your communication, that you will focus on improving them, and that you will periodically ask for feedback. You will be glad you did—and those around you will be too.

Alan Allard, Executive Coach and Speaker
www.alanallard.com