Debra Oakland's Blog, page 8

Plain And Simple – Giving Feels Good

Recently I wrote two articles –  Recovering From Surgery With A Wicked Sense Of Humor Part 1 & Recovering From Surgery With a Wicked Sense Of Humor Part 2

Jessie’s Instagram posts, photos, and quips show her courage and tenacity to get through a rough recovery with humor. Christmas rolled around as Jessie continues rehab to become mobile and re-boot her life. We still help out a bit, and Cody loves walking Jessie’s dog Chloe in the mornings. After one of the recent walks, Cody came home with a card from Jessie’s parents Fred & Beth. I want to share this beautiful message with you.

Deb & Cody (Christmas 2019)

As you both know, there are times in all our lives when the shit hits the fan for real, and we are overwhelmed by the load on our shoulders.

What one can hope for as a parent, is that when their children have one of those times in their lives, there will be people who will somehow be able to step in and carry some of that load. Even then, what people of good heart may do will vary: some will do a little, others will do what they can, and still others will turn their own lives upside down, no matter what the cost, to carry their brother or sister. What you’ve done falls into that last category.

Our appreciation and gratitude for what the two of you have done (and continue to do) for Jessie is honestly beyond words. You’ve stepped in when we could not. You’ve not only carried Jessie’s load physically, but you’ve carried her mentally, you’ve walked with her, you’ve let her know she’s not alone. What an amazing gift.

As we celebrate the Christmas season this year, please know that it is precisely people like you, who are the true bringers of hope to our modern world. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Merry Christmas.

Fred & Beth

Jessie’s sister Anna and her parents were with her for as long as they could be after her surgery. They were amazing, and continue to be every step of the way. The reason I’m sharing this message with you is to talk about gratitude and service.

Plain and simple – giving feels good. As fellow members of humanity, it’s good to be there for each other, and a great way to move into the New Year 2020. Giving and service can be as simple as opening a door for someone, sharing a smile or hug, delivering a meal, or a hundred little things to lend a hand. Just think, you can transform someone’s day, especially when they are in need of assistance. You are the author of your life. Every day is a new page. Write a script that brings joy to you and into the lives of others. As they say, what goes around comes around.

Always give your best in everything you do because when you look back, you will know you gave your best with what you had and you will be so grateful for how far you have come.

-Melanie Koulouris

Original article: Plain And Simple – Giving Feels Good

©2020 Debra Oakland. All Rights Reserved.

The post Plain And Simple – Giving Feels Good appeared first on Debra Oakland.

The Musicality of Life

Music is a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy. Music is the electrical soil in which the spirit lives, thinks and invents.  – Ludwig Van Beethoven

Life is music. Music is life. One of the most important components in any great movie is the rhythm of the music, which dramatically enhances the story line.

None of us view the world in exactly the same way, yet we all create in unique ways of value that can be shared with others. If we all sang the same note, there would be no music; if we only knew one word, there would be no language; if there were only one color in nature, it would be devoid of contrast.  You and I were given the ability and the responsibility to tap into our greatness, to define our individuality and unique gift of the soul.

Here’s a little info on the brain and how it functions.  The right hemisphere is more feeling oriented and creative. It looks at the whole picture, is more intuitive, artistic, musical and philosophical. Yet the right hemisphere, which is the first to develop, controls the left side of the body, and the left hemisphere, which develops later, controls the right side of the body.   The left hemisphere of our brain is more methodical, looks at parts of the whole picture, is better at reasoning, analytics, science, numbers and languages.

Our body, mind and emotions are transported though music. Those who dedicate their life to music come in with special gifts they are unable to ignore. The feeling inside is palpable.  When you consider every single cell in our body is resonating at its own frequency, it is no wonder certain types of music can play with our emotions, making us feel happy, sad, relaxed or agitated – depending upon how in or out of harmony we are with what we are hearing. Tuning into the music can help us identify any discord we are feeling. Rhythm is music, as is our body, mind and spirit. Allow your inner emotions to guide you to the areas that need to heal and to bring your inner gift forward to share with the world.

Musical quotes from famous musicians…

Do you know that our soul is composed of harmony?  – Leonardo DaVinci

Music is a language that doesn’t speak in particular words. It speaks in emotions, and if it’s in the bones, it’s in the bones.  – Keith Richards

When you make music or write or create, it’s really your job to have mind-blowing, irresponsible, condomless sex with whatever idea it is you’re writing about at the time.  – Lady Gaga

Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up.  – Hans Christian Andersen

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.  – Bob Marley

I’m just a musical prostitute, my dear.  – Freddie Mercury

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.  – Victor Hugo

I will end with this post with a quote from a character in Sherlock Holmes…

There is nothing more to be said or to be done tonight, so hand me over my violin and let us try to forget for half an hour the miserable weather and the still more miserable ways of our fellowmen.”  – Arthur Conan Doyle

 

 

Original article: The Musicality of Life

©2019 Debra Oakland. All Rights Reserved.

The post The Musicality of Life appeared first on Debra Oakland.

Recovering From Surgery With A Wicked Sense Of Humor – Part 2

Gratitude is the wine of the soul. Go ahead. Get drunk. – Rumi

Part 2 of my courageous friend Jessie’s recovery from a complicated lumbar fusion surgery, is continued in her words – including several of her humorous Instagram posts thrown in. It’s easy to see why everyone on “Team Jessie” are more than happy to assist in her relaunch to health and well-being. It’s called Love & Humor…

My uncle, who had flown in from St. Louis, addressed the anesthesiologist with a hint of chagrin.  “Please promise me one thing,” he said. “When she starts hitting on inanimate objects, take a video for me.” If you have to go to the ER, I say, “Go for the gowns, stay for the socks!”.

And with that, my bed began rolling toward the OR. It was Monday night and my surgeon and her team had been working since the early morning hours. They needed rest, but decided it couldn’t wait any longer – I had lost the ability to walk, wiggle my toes, or pee. They would go through my front, and then through my back the following day, “the full Tiger Woods”, for a complicated spinal fusion. My lupus and other autoimmune conditions presented extra challenges. They say God only gives you what you can handle – apparently God thinks I’m a badass.

ODE TO BODY PILLOW

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Body pillow

How I love you

Where boyfriends befuddle

You bring sateen cuddles

Visiting after surgery

And bestowing life-size hugs

The following weeks would be a blur of pain pills, needles, uncertainty, heartbreak, laughter, and – above all – love. Living across the street from the ocean provides the perfect view from my outdoor lounge chair – my home for 2 or 3 months. My dog and best friend Chloe (Gremlin) has never left my side except for her daily walks with her fave peeps. Friends have been MacGyvering the sh%t out of the umbrellas to keep me out of the sun as it rotates around my patio.

There would be unexpected bumps. My bladder didn’t rebound after the surgeries, prompting the doctors to send me home with a Foley catheter. I found myself oscillating between panic attacks and humor when it came to my catheter bag. Deb’s husband Cody said I should run a line from my catheter to the street so I didn’t need to empty the bag…I laughed so hard I almost peed (I wish).

Post #surgery bloat: I may need to register at Target for my food baby. #lumbarfusion

Sometimes I laugh so hard I fart and it hurts and twists the #catheter and I get blood in the line but for a good joke it’s totally worth it. Also, I’m not sure how this flying Viking boat ended up in my photo roll but it’s pretty rad and I wish I’d had it with me in the hospital when I was on morphine. How was your day? #surgerybrain #morphine

It’s like the universe heard my despair and decided to prove me wrong, sending the biggest tidal wave of love ever. It came bubbling and flowing from all kinds of unexpected places, in all sorts of surprising forms. I was soon flooded with a mountain of flowers, cards, and gifts — some from people I’ve never even met. (In fact, the bulletin board by my bed is now decorated with adorable, hand-made cards from an entire school of children).

In my first week home, my sister Anna set her alarm for 3 a.m. every night, to stuff me full of Norco, Zofran, and snacks. The details are fuzzy, but I have fond memories of her t-shirts floating in front of me: Anna is a warrior and tirelessly cared for me while romancing rose wine.

After 11 days, Anna flew home and my parents arrived from Texas. Dad took over juicing duties, making me concoctions of organic fruit, veg, and ginger, and emptying my catheter bag round-the-clock. (“Just make sure he doesn’t get the straws confused,” a friend cautioned). Enjoying the scent of coffee & sea salt, as happy elves pressed juice & washed my Kombucha straws I use religiously. So happy my family was here to support me. Dad set up the TV outside on the patio so we could watch the Longhorns game and the Great British Baking Show.  Meanwhile Mom worked tirelessly in the kitchen, making meals and organizing my pans and dishes where I could reach them. They slept on my (highly uncomfortable) sleeper sofa for two weeks.

Jessie on Instagram

That awkward moment when you’re mid-conversation and you feel something warm on your leg…and you stand up and realize your skirt is sopping bc your catheter bag has become unplugged. #atleastithappenedathome

And then there’s that awesome moment you’re so busy Instagramming about your #catheter bag exploding that you totally miss it’s come undone again…and you run to the toilet with pee spraying the walls and floor…and then you start sobbing hysterically…which turns into hysterical laughing…and so you do the only thing you can do: turn on Chumbawumba & spitshine your house with a granny stick & a tub of Clorox wipes. #catheter #lumbarfusion #lupus #mondaymood

Note to self: Clorox Disinfecting Wipes/Burt’s Bees Facial Cleansing Towlette – One is for skin and the other is for the floor. Try not to mix them up next time. #cleaninghacks #lupus

It’s not a party until someone rolls up with a walker and a pee bag. #takenoprisoners #lumbarfusion #catherterlife

The first shower after surgery is always the best. Like I need a cigarette and I don’t even smoke. #surgery #lumbarfusion 

When you’re jealous of your water filter. #catheterlife #urinaryretention#urologyhumor

Dear Hair Tie: You are ever-elusive, and often vanish into the ether without warning… which adds to your mysterious je ne sais quoi & makes our reunion all the sweeter. #hair #lovefest

When shit hits the fan, look around you and notice – Who Shows Up? Those are the people who love you. Hand onto those people tight…

Deb Oakland (you are reading my story on her blog) sent over a bunch of homemade gluten-free cookies, pancakes, and tuna and egg salad, with a beautiful card that said, “We’ve got you.” Since my surgery Deb has continued to fill my tummy with super healthy treats and meals. Meanwhile Deb’s husband, Cody, took over the lion share of doggie duties, walking my Gremlin in the mornings and evenings and spoiling her with baggies of steak and pork fat. Deb stopped by in the afternoons, to move umbrellas around and keep yours truly, the Lupus Princess, out of the sun. I watched with gratitude as my friend Christine scrubbed the house, emptied the dishwasher, and folded my laundry.  My neighbor Megan also jumped in, sharing gorgeous cheese plates and helping me retrieve my phone whenever I dropped it on the floor. Rocky and Dena could be counted on for middle-of-the-night emotional support, and Christine drove all over Orange County, shuttling me to doctor’s appointments and picking up prescriptions.

Even now, two months into this adventure, the kindnesses keeps coming. In fact, I’m getting so spoiled the thought has occurred to me: “Maybe I should tell them I was wrong, and it’s going to take 12 months for the bone to fuse.”

I can’t even describe how grateful I am. So many people would kill to get “the full Tiger Woods” and can’t. I’m cognizant of just how fortunate I am, and aware of the sacrifices everyone is making to get me relaunched. This has been a joint effort by my friends, family, doctors, nurses, boss, and coworkers.

The road to recovery will be long and painful, and I know there will be moments of darkness and doubt. But I’ve learned a valuable lesson in the past two months: it’s hard to feel anxious, depressed, or despondent when one is grateful. When the future seems bleak, it helps to focus on the love around you. Loving is what life is all about.

P.S. Think sexy for a moment…I ordered a fanny pack to wear when I use my walker (I feel too sexy for my catheter bag).

P.S.S. At the time of press, my catheter has been removed and I’ve begun to pee in small amounts. In fact, I just peed a little into my Depends while writing this. I am optimistic that my bladder will make a full recovery (or close to it) after the surgical swelling subsides and the nerves heal. Until then, it’s definitely time to up my asparagus intake…

So, hey — now that Catheter is gone, what do you want to do?

Bladder thinks for a moment before answering.

Bladder: It Depends…

 #depends #thirstythursday #catheter

Original article: Recovering From Surgery With A Wicked Sense Of Humor – Part 2

©2019 Debra Oakland. All Rights Reserved.

The post Recovering From Surgery With A Wicked Sense Of Humor – Part 2 appeared first on Debra Oakland.

Recovering From Surgery With A Wicked Sense Of Humor – Part 1

Be kind to others. Your unassuming act of kindness might become someone’s memory of a lifetime.

A close friend Jessie recently underwent major back surgery. Similar to the back surgery Tiger Woods had….gnarly! Jessie has lupus and a laundry list of other things that led to the surgery. Her sister Anna was here for 11 days, her parents for 2 weeks, and during this time we have all worked together in harmony. Family, friends and neighbors have rallied together to walk and feed Jessie’s adorable dog Chloe, wash clothes, do dishes, cook, clean, run errands, and any other daily tasks needed. This weekend her sister Marta is here from Boston for a couple of days.

The reason for this article is to talk about gratitude. I know that Jessie is beyond grateful to the team of people that have been caring for her and Chloe during recovery. We are talking two months pretty much flat on her back with ice packs front to back, a lovely plastic urine bag, a plethora of pharmaceuticals and pain killers daily and people running her home and life – each in their own unique way. What we are finding is our own deep gratitude in being able to care for and support our friend. Quite often several of us gather on the deck for long talks, quality Kombucha for Jessie, food, drinks, sunsets, and laughter. It’s a win win for all.

Jessie has a wicked sense of humor. Needless to say, the love and humor each day is a constant. This girl never complains and is grateful for every big and little thing as she progresses from bed to bouts of walking each day. My husband Cody walks and feeds Chloe most morning and evenings at this phase. I’m on food patrol and have had a great time preparing delicious gluten-free baked goods, as well as food I know our gal loves. Christine cleans like no other, so we clear the way. Progressing from a big catheter to a smaller bag that Jessie can empty herself has been a constant source of entertainment, as is the fanny pack she wears while on her walker. As they say, laughter is the best medicine.

Gratitude is one quality of life that keeps on giving. You never know how it will come back to bless you.

I will never have the wicked sense of humor Jessie has…most of us can’t even come close. So, that being said – Jessie will be writing Part II on Gratitude from her perspective when she is feeling better. Stay tuned – trust me it will be worth the wait!

Original article: Recovering From Surgery With A Wicked Sense Of Humor – Part 1

©2019 Debra Oakland. All Rights Reserved.

The post Recovering From Surgery With A Wicked Sense Of Humor – Part 1 appeared first on Debra Oakland.

I Met A Man…

I had the pleasure of meeting the most remarkable man recently; a man who shall remain unnamed. I know he would approve with his big smile and a chuckle. As a small group of friends celebrated his 95th birthday recently, this wise and extremely savvy man shared bits and pieces of his life with us.

With dedication, determination and courage, at 85 years of age he made a conscious decision to change his life. Moving from the east coast to the west coast was the first step. By the time he was 87 he had spent 2 challenging years releasing all that was not love and joy within himself.

I rarely meet anyone this vibrant, full of energy, joy, love and inner peace. There is no falter in his steps, he is mentally sharp with a quick wit, enthusiastic about the future, says it like it is (with a few F-Bombs thrown in) bringing delight to those he engages with.  I am not kidding, he has less wrinkles than me! Everyone asks, “What’s your secret?”

I would like to share a few of this gentleman’s gems of wisdom with you…

Own your past – you created it.

Let go of all the guilt and bullshit surrounding your past if you desire to move forward in a positive manner.

When you release everything that is not love and joy, you have the most important thing – Freedom.

Love is everything. The body ages, it goes south (he shared a couple humorous comments I prefer not to share in this article!) – but the mind is where everything happens.

When inner love, peace and joy is the focus of your life, it’s better than any sex you could ever have.

People do not understand the power of the words I Am. People say: I am poor, ugly, stupid, broke, sick, tired, angry, sad, etc. When you place words these words after I Am, you give them energy and power. Be mindful, change the dialog: I am love, grateful, happy, abundant, healthy, etc.

Reaching a higher energetic frequency changes everything. Things come to you, showing up effortlessly with perfect timing, day in and day out.

Living in the moment is the key to laying the foundation for your life. While we enjoyed his birthday dinner I told him one of my quotes, “NOW is where your Naturally Occurring Wonder lives and breathes.” He beamed and loved the quote!

It’s never too late. He told us, “I am happier in the last 8 years than I every been. I have lived the highs and lows of life. Never think it’s too late to live a life filled with joy and happiness – it’s a choice.”

“The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

I like to think that when you reach 95 years of age and are happy beyond what most people can comprehend, you’ve learned a thing or two. People sabotage their happiness, blaming others for the way their life is going. This joy-filled man asked my husband and myself if we ‘got’ what he was saying about living a life of joy and happiness, filled with love. I told him I had written a book on these topics. His face lit up and with a huge smile he asked the name of my book. I told him, “Change Your Movie, Change Your Life: 7 Reel Concepts for Courageous Change.” He said he loved the name of the book and then looked deep into my eyes and asked if I would send him a copy. I said, “Yes, I would be honored and will send you a signed copy.” He was thrilled, asking me to make sure I would follow through on my promise – the next day I did.

Happy 95th Birthday & Beyond!

What I Love About Living In a Higher Frequency

From my perspective and experience, when we release negativity, fear, anger, doubt, blame and all that comes with it – life shifts. Our shit shifts when we make conscious choices that support our life. You will find that when you release negative energy, change is inevitable. There will be people you no longer resonate to energetically. You may find you move off in different directions at the perfect time and place. Here is an excerpt from my book comparing our life to a movie…

“Use your role as casting director to find people who are willing to play strong supporting roles in your movie. Many will show up to audition. Not all will make the cut simply because they don’t fit the theme of your movie. Learn to let go, and don’t try to force someone to be something they are not. Some characters will stay as long as both of you find value in each other, and then they will move on when the important role they played in your movie has ended. Learn to appreciate the significance of another’s contribution, no matter how small it may first appear to be.

It is not your calling to determine how they will choose to perform their supporting role in your movie; however, as the director of your own film, it is your call as to whether or not they remain as a member of the cast. You do not know the path others’ lives can or must take in this lifetime. Their past, present, and future choices will determine what shows up for them, just as your past, present, and future choices will determine how much joy or suffering will show up on the living screen of your life. You must be open to the possibility there may come a time when you have to let someone in a supporting role go if their performance is undermining the quality of your life.

If you want change, you need to be the captain at the helm of your own ship, like Cap’n Jack Sparrow on the Black Pearl in the movie Pirates of the Caribbean. You are sailing into the unknown to create your own adventure. Being first mate will not guarantee the results you are looking for. Someone else dictating the possible outcome does not put you in the captain’s seat.

Original article: I Met A Man…

©2019 Debra Oakland. All Rights Reserved.

The post I Met A Man… appeared first on Debra Oakland.

What Do Your Refractive and Reflective Qualities Have To Do With Diamonds?

Simply by being your true authentic self, you gift the world with your presence. — Debra Oakland

In the 1953 film Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Marilyn Monroe sang, “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend.” In fact, Monroe’s rendition of the song has been considered an iconic performance, copied by many entertainers. She was not the first to perform it, but her version of the song is by far the most popular. Another fun fact is the song was listed as the 12th most important song of all time by the American Film Institute. Imagine that! I enjoyed the film and have no problem wearing diamonds, but the main objective here is to talk about another important aspect of this beautiful gemstone. Diamonds are considered a symbol of purity. We are like multifaceted diamonds in the rough, and sometimes we need a good purity polish. Diamonds can be contaminated by very few types of impurities and are one of the most sought after and most valued gemstones. They also have a high dispersion of light and are lovely to look at. Diamonds are believed by many to enhance one’s inner vision and intuitive connection with the divine.

Most diamonds contain some inner flaws like we do. These flaws occur during the formation process, as do ours during our “life” formation process. There are many types of diamonds. Different colors, sizes, shapes and shines — like us! Each one is beautiful in its own way and appeals to a different audience — like us! Think of it this way: the master diamond cutter (Source) has created the facets on the diamond to allow light to reflect from one facet to another. The light dances inside the stone reflecting back through its surface a multi-spectrum display of brilliant light in a mirror-like fashion to display its beauty. A diamond cut refers to the refractive and reflective qualities of the gemstone, determining its ability to handle and disperse light, which leads to its brilliance. The ability to absorb and reflect light gives us the opportunity to become a mirror displaying purity in all its shining brilliance.

In our life, we determine the speed at which light interacts with us, determining our ability to handle and reflect light back out into the world. We have more in common with diamonds than we thought! Your pattern of perfection was created by the source of all life. We are created in absolute perfection of purity. The qualities of love are active within us. How we use them is our choice.

To the influences of our inner and outer world, we give our power to reflect onto the movie screen of our life. Being magnetic in nature, we attract good through transmuting the shadows we have created, so if you don’t like what is showing up on your screen, you will need to flip the lens around. Throw illuminated light on impurity (negativity, fear, and its family) and transform all into purity (positivity, love, and its family). This keeps the structure of our foundation strong beneath us. Hafiz, a Sufi poet who expressed his love for the divine through his poetry, reminds us — “Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions.”

Physical matter is the result of frequency so your revised movie will reflect back to you the positive changes you have made. Here is a key to the areas needing the most shift; Love, Wisdom, and Power constitute a threefold activity within our Hearts, which amplifies our frequency. When directed in a positive way, this activity increases the electronic energetic vibration of our cells. Your heart will respond to that to which you vibrate. The power of sound, thoughts, and words hold incredible power for change.

Consciousness shapes reality for all of us, so consider a good purity polish now and then. By releasing the cells of our body, mind, and spirit from impurities, we move one step closer to freedom, to the common spiritual bond we all share. Worth the effort and then some, wouldn’t you say? Nature does this intuitively and organically — a true source of inspiration, guidance, and love. A brilliant and intuitive teacher, the essence of the source is in every living thing. Ask any tree!

Polish the diamond of your desire, see it in its finished perfection shining out into the world. In our perfected state, we vibrate at a higher frequency and shine with diamond brilliance. The emotional frequency waves of love are high, rapid waves, in contrast to those of fear, which are long, slow waves. In our human state, we have impurities in need of a bit of polishing. Purity is like a human polishing cloth returning us to the all “natural state” of perfection, which the original designer intended us to be in.

Be sincere in your thoughts, be pure in your feelings. You will not have to run after happiness. Happiness will run after you. — Sri Chinmoy

Your Personal Storyboard on Purity

Upon awakening in the morning, I consciously seek purity by:



In my personal daily spiritual ritual, my conscious intention is to apply purity to:



By aligning mind with spirit, I bring about positive frequencies in regard to:



In the course of my daily activities, I seek purity of heart and mind in these areas of my life:



My standard of purity is:



In light and love, I recognize and acknowledge the following examples of purity principles:



I choose to increase the positive purity frequencies in my life by:




REEL WRAP: The Concept of Purity

Impurity is a thief who steals the divine vitality of your perfection.
Free will gives you freedom of choice. You can change the thought creating the feeling you want to disengage from.
Your every thought, feeling, and action affects everything in the Universe simply because everything is energy and frequency.
You are more than this physical body, which is not the “real” you. You are a luminous energy field of pure consciousness taking form in a body. Your thoughts and beliefs manifest in the physical, material world. What you think upon grows and magnifies to positive or negative outcomes.
Purity is a powerful quality that can free you from limitation, leading to unrestricted freedom and joy, enhancing every area of your life.
Your response to discord and strife must be grounded in love, based on a foundation of wisdom, and purity of intention in both heart and mind.
When you connect to your inner power, you become a magnet for good, and life is a blessing.

 

Original article: What Do Your Refractive and Reflective Qualities Have To Do With Diamonds?

©2019 Debra Oakland. All Rights Reserved.

The post What Do Your Refractive and Reflective Qualities Have To Do With Diamonds? appeared first on Debra Oakland.

Grudges – Do You Have an App Running in The Background?

Grudges are much like a phone that has apps running in the background. They are a constant drain on the battery, cause slow performance and can shorten the life of the hardware. When you clear that energy (close the apps) you free up space for things that are worthwhile and important – instead of dwelling on what was. When an app gets corrupted, or no longer serves a valuable purpose, we hit the delete button (forgiveness) and it is as if it never existed.

Gaining the necessary requirements for healthy relationships is challenging when we hold on to grudges. This affects our mood, attitude and behaviors. We all want safe and healthy relationships in the circle of our life. It’s up to us to charge our batteries – positive or negative. The conscious choice we make can be energizing or drain our life force. Holding a grudge does not make us stronger, it makes us bitter. Forgiveness sets us free, even if the other person can’t see their way to let go. A life consumed with poison makes for dis-ease.

Life is too short. Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh when you can, apologize when you should and let go of what you can’t change. – Unknown

The last part of this quote is the hardest because we may have an expectation of someone that they are not be capable of changing. You are moving on and they are holding on – let them have their perspective and allow them to heal in their own time. Maybe they don’t always deserve forgiveness, but you deserve peace and happiness. Enlarge your future, knowing you have set yourself free.

Remember the old saying about letting others occupy a rent-free space in your mind? No thanks! Re-living a bad experience causes trauma. Protect your mental and physical body. Grudge holders are gonna grudge. Who knows where this stems from – for some it is learned responses from childhood, bad experiences, lack of trust, personality type, etc…

Think of the energy it takes to hold on to these feelings. Are you willing to continue this dance? Hitting the delete button (forgiveness of yourself and others) will free up space for those relationships of mutual positive support.

Original article: Grudges – Do You Have an App Running in The Background?

©2019 Debra Oakland. All Rights Reserved.

The post Grudges – Do You Have an App Running in The Background? appeared first on Debra Oakland.

Excessive Worry is a Worldwide Problem – 7 Solutions

Worry to a slight degree is part of life. I have noticed more people engaging in chronic worry lately, and this I know – it’s debilitating. Excessive worry steals our soul, haunts our mind, and damages our bodies, sometimes in irreparable ways. This is a habit that can start small and escalate to unnatural proportions.

Think about this, worry is only a thought. Yet, it can ruin lives because of the control and power it gains over the mind. My dad used to say, “Worry is paying interest on things that may never happen.” He was right, worry often gives a small thing a BIG shadow. Eckart Tolle said it best, “Worry pretends to be necessary, but serves no useful purpose.”

Here is a list of potential problems associated with excessive worry…

Health issues, such as blood pressure, stroke, lack of sleep, immune system issues, mental health & emotional stress, under-eating/over-eating, stomach/bowel issues, headaches, panic attacks, anxiety, depression, skin issues, body pain, and more. Irritability is another side effect of this long list of triggers. Worry does nothing to prevent things from happening. For some people the ‘fight or flight’ response can become the body’s instinctive reaction to many things – real or imagined. When we are stressed or feeling anxiety, we don’t breathe naturally. All this over a worrisome thought, or thoughts we allow to control our body, mind, and spirit. This takes the joy level down exponentially and speeds up the aging process, which should be a deterrent right there. Stress hormones – no thanks!

7 Solutions To Alleviate Worry

1. Realize worry is a thought that becomes a movie tape you allow to run through your mind. Put the old worn out film in the shredder and re-shoot the scene the way you would like it to play out, with a positive beginning and ending. Stop your imagination from running on negativity. Start by replacing one negative thought with a positive, adding it to your mental movie to re-program your brain.

2. Keep yourself in the moment, not the past or the future. Create the future of your dreams courageously, using imagination and positive visualization. You are in control, not your fears. What worries you masters you.

3. Make conscious choices that support your life. Recognize what triggers your worrisome mind. Making choices from a place of fear/worry about what ‘could’ happen does not serve you. It does keep you on the worry treadmill. You can slow that treadmill down and jump off when you’re ready.

4. Change your habits to support your health. Support your being with proper eating habits, getting enough rest, and engaging in activities that will help strengthen, rather weaken your spirit. Keep an open mind, not everything in life is black and white. Practice kindness and speak with positivity, it’s contagious. Remember gratitude and forgiveness is key to a happy life.

5. Cut out the causes of worry. If watching the news or reading the paper causes you stress and worry, stop these activities. If you are around people that do not bring you joy let them go, and if you need to, extricate them from your life. Audition new people to appear in the movie of your life who will love and support you. Don’t play the victim – you are worthy of living in your power and courageously being YOU. Expect the best case scenario, not the worst. If you think about it – more things go right than wrong, unless you expect otherwise. We all make ‘mis-takes’ but it’s how we grow and learn to become a strong leading character in the movie of our life, and to be an uplifting supporting character in our family and friends movies. Don’t give a flying fig what anyone thinks of you – just be your best self, and live your best life. After all, it’s your movie!

6. Initiate a practice that calms your mind. Try a beautiful thought – like a happy baby or puppy snuggling with you. Spend time with a loved one who makes you happy. Enjoy activities like gardening, writing, music, art, etc. Engage in a meditation, prayer, or practice that supports you. Try deep breathing techniques, EFT, or any therapy you resonate to. Take a relaxing vacation and most important…fall in love with yourself.

7. Seek the help you need from a professional. Do your homework to find the best possible support.

Original article: Excessive Worry is a Worldwide Problem – 7 Solutions

©2019 Debra Oakland. All Rights Reserved.

The post Excessive Worry is a Worldwide Problem – 7 Solutions appeared first on Debra Oakland.

What’s Your Soul Jam?

I’ve been thinking about our soul jam. The jam we create in our body, mind, spirit/soul, that defines our lives. Music is a good example. Do you hear a symphony in the right key, or is it more like discordant death metal? Sure, you may enjoy death metal on occasion, but are you allowing it to be a driving force in your life? Certain sounds are personally discordant to me. If I imagine heavy metal music running through my mind 24/7, chaos would prevail in my life. We all vibrate to different sounds and feelings – choose those that bring joy to your jam.

Just for fun here is a little Southern Soul Jam Session for you from Mr Melvin…

For me, creativity gets the core of my being fired up. We can all initiate shift in our lives by forging new roads. This requires stepping out of our past, elevating ourselves by whatever means necessary to take us out of our negative ego/pain body/trauma/drama. As we work at defining our jam, monkey mind often gets wrapped up in the past, present and future. When you present yourself to the world, what do you see in this examination? In truth, others see us quite different than we see ourselves, and some with much better perspective. Living true to our soul is the best way forward, especially if we are motivated by love, peace, kindness, harmlessness to self and others. In this way, we emerge from the fire knowing that our soul jam will serve not only us – it will help elevate the frequencies of all souls, because we brought our Swag and our A-Game.

Unknown Author…

“I do not define myself by how many roadblocks have appeared in my path.

I define myself by the courage I’ve found to forge new roads.

I do not define myself by how many disappointments I’ve faced.

I define myself by the forgiveness and the faith I have found to begin again.

I do not define myself by how long a relationship lasted.

I define myself by how much I have loved, and been willing to love again.

I do not define myself by how many times I have been knocked down.

I define myself by how many times I have struggled to my feet.

I am not my pain.

I am not my past.

I am that which has emerged from the fire.”

Original article: What’s Your Soul Jam?

©2019 Debra Oakland. All Rights Reserved.

The post What’s Your Soul Jam? appeared first on Debra Oakland.

Imagine Beyond Your Circumstances

Can you imagine beyond your circumstances? For anything new to be made visible in the world, it must first be seen in the mind. Your imagination is key to creativity, hope, and motivates your mind to direct your dreams into reality. I think of it as focused concentration. After all, you are the director of the movie of your life, and since you are the director, you can preview the coming attractions. The parts that don’t suit you can be edited or deleted, as you please.

Albert Einstein said this…

“Imagination is everything.

It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.

Imagination is more important than knowledge.

Never give up on what you really want to do.

The person with big dreams is more powerful than one with all the facts.”

Do you have big dreams? I hope you do. Giving up on our dreams or purpose can put us on a less than ideal path. I have many dreams, and I want to share a personal one with you. Since I was young I envisioned visiting Europe. I grew up, and later married the love of my life. We enjoyed traveling to England and Paris, (Oh là là) but had never been to Italy. Years later…we took 4 weeks to travel back to England, Paris, and on to Italy. When we stepped off the overnight train from Paris to Venice, I stood in awe. It felt surreal – a dream come true, everything I had imagined, and more. We walked Venice for three days. These are the first two photos I took in Venice.

Next, we took a train to Florence. A week was too short – I fell in love with this city. Firenze felt familiar to my soul, like I was home. The point is, our dreams can broaden our perspective, and spark our imagination for adventure. Each ‘first’ visit to these locations, which are all quite different and unique, hold special memories for me. My husband and I imagine living in Europe part of the year in the future…and so we shall! Henry David Thoreau said, “The world is but a canvas to the imagination.”

In an article on how imagination and reality look different in the brain, I quote Christopher Wanjek, “According to research, it turns out that reality and imagination flow in different directions in the brain. The visual information from real events that the eyes see flows “up” from the brain’s occipital lobe to the parietal lobe, but imagined images flow “down” from the parietal to the occipital. Visit this link if you are interested in more in depth information on this topic.

Trust in, and feed the fire of your dreams. Create your reality and live your dreams to the fullest. Our imagination gives us wings that can take us everywhere we wish to go.

Some of my favorite quotes on Imagination:

“Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine, and at last, you create what you will.” – George Bernard Shaw

“Imagination is the true magic carpet.” – Norman Vincent Peale

“But, I nearly forgot, you must close your eyes otherwise you won’t see anything.” – Lewis Carroll

“The only limit to your impact is your imagination and commitment.” – Tony Robbins

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams, and live the life you have imagined.” – Henry David Thoreau

 

Original article: Imagine Beyond Your Circumstances

©2019 Debra Oakland. All Rights Reserved.

The post Imagine Beyond Your Circumstances appeared first on Debra Oakland.