Debra Oakland's Blog

Life Is an Inside Job: Shape It, Craft It, Don’t Just Survive It

Are you a random character in your story – or the author of it?

Have you been scripting a negative narrative for yourself as the main character? If so, remember: as the writer, you hold the pen. Rewrite the chapter, or your life will reflect a sad and predictable story-line. Instead, imagine a radiant, joyous outcome. Sculpt, create, and envision the most beautifully perfect ending – for the main character who matters most: you.

As the creator, every moment we write, edit, direct, and produce the story that will show up in our lives as reality. We have the power to imagine ourselves free, victorious, and deeply grateful – living lives filled with our true desires. Imagination is not a someday tool; it is for shaping life now. Think of NOW as your Naturally Occurring Wonder. Energy is always guiding and directing everything. Think fear, you embody fear – think from a place of  joy, you become joy.

When we live from the end, we re-program ourselves to use our imagination. The life you live is the one you dare to design within. To live in and from the end, as if your desire is already true, not some random place out in the future, is the way to bring your innermost dreams and desires into manifestation. We are not here merely to survive, we are here to thrive – if we make the choice to do so.

Become the sculptor of your story.

Michelangelo saw the statue of David inside a rough block of marble when no one else could. Two sculptors before him had tried and failed, dismissing the stone as too flawed – thin, riddled with holes, and unworthy. For 25 years the block sat untouched. Yet Michelangelo envisioned the masterpiece hidden within and released it.

Isn’t that like us? So often we overlook the astounding beauty and brilliance already alive inside, waiting to be revealed. With hammer and chisel – patience and vision – we too can chip away at the old stories, reaching the inner power that has always been there, waiting for us to take command. Triumph over our human conditions is possible when we quiet the mind and consciously direct the outcome.

Edit the old script – relentlessly. In the movie of your life, rehearse success as an actor rehearses for a starring role. Use imagination with intention and dedication, and the life you long for begins to unfold. True change begins where no one else can see – inside you. Live, move, and breathe in a state of gratitude and joy, and you will find abundance (in many forms) being drawn to you like a moth to a flame.

Patience and persistence are the chisels that reveal your inner truth.

Living from the outside in keeps us bound to a programmed world – full of criticism, fear, and division. Living from the inside out changes everything. Without the pressure of old conditioning, we reclaim our freedom. We have the power to re-imagine ourselves as fearless, determined, and alive with new courageous possibility.

To release is to receive. Close your eyes. In your imagination, pull up an old hurt, disappointment, sadness, judgement or moment of anger. Now re-imagine this old negative situation that occurred over something – as if it were happening now. Flip it by re-imagining/re-writing the old story or belief.

Imagine the feelings, use your senses to relive it. Now – revise the situation, feeling the most wonderfully positive outcome for all parties involved. I am sure you will smile, and you’ll notice a quiet sigh of relief, because it feels so good to heal in this way. It is done, don’t go back. You took the steps and now trust in the process. Even if the other person has no idea you have done this, shift will occur.

You have the power to re-create your life. When you do this in earnest, you will see situations and relationships in your life in a new light. Sending negativity or judgement of any kind to anyone boomerangs back at us. Sending goodwill and peace benefits both parties. Revise your life each and every day.

Imagination is our most loyal servant – use it to rewrite your story from end to beginning. Build the life you want from the foundation only you can lay. When you craft your world from the inside – everything else will align. Strength, vision, and freedom start at the core. Live from the end, courageously, and you will notice shifts happening in, through, and around you.

Your Inner World is The Author of Your Life

I believe my inner world is the author of my life…

That being said, sometimes I forget this important fact. I also believe the seeds (desire/imagination) I plant in my inner world, show up in my outer world. I feed them by holding the image, and feeling deeply. I water the seeds with sustained momentum of belief/faith, and knowing. How is your outer reality showing up for you? Could it be actualized inner talking? Why yes, it could, and is. I am not here to judge, just to bring awareness to those who are interested. We are constantly directing our outer life, forgetting the inner leads the outer -> always. Below is an article I wrote in February of 2011, then edited in 2016. I am changing a good deal of the wording to reflect the growth and wisdom I have gained over these many years. Here is a link to the original article…

I am writing this updated article for myself, as well as for you. To choose this path is the ultimate challenge. Are you up for it? If so, I challenge you to dedicate one day where you do not utter one negative word or thought. Begin by planting seeds. It can and has been done, and if one can do it, others can as well. I have decided it is time for me to dedicate my life to directing my inner world, to such an extent, my outer world will be enhanced beyond my wildest dreams.

Revised “Endless Possibilities” Article for 2025

I have heard it said that our life is governed by immutable laws and principles that never vary. These laws are in operation everywhere, and in everyone. I have also heard that every effect is the result of the cause, and that the effect becomes the cause, which creates other effects, and on it goes. I have found my life experiences unfold beautifully when I choose from a place of constant diligence and constancy, bringing “Endless Possibilities” into my experience.

The power of imagination/feeling/inner action,  is so powerful because it creates results. I am magnetic, you are magnetic. This poses the question, “What am I bringing into my life? What motivates my decision making?” When I go back to old habits of thought, feeling and action, it is reflected back to me very quickly. The door is closed on my utmost outer desires. When I stay in form and create new habits from the inside out – I am rewarded. Sadly, most of us have been living life backwards…

What a privilege to have the ability to make a conscious choice in each moment. How I think, feel and act has a vibratory effect that flows out into the world. If I have a desire yet doubt that desire can be a reality, how can that desire show up in my life? It can’t. It is my job to plant a seed, or seeds. With the right actions, our desires will be nurtured endlessly.

Wisdom requires an understanding of the basic knowledge and working principles of the Universe. These laws and principles never vary. As you learn to work with these laws, illuminated wisdom will light your way. Miracles do happen. If you have no knowledge of your inner power, your courage, how can you use it? Accessing and applying the knowledge deep in your heart and soul will allow you to act with purpose. Your unwavering courageous determination is required.

What are you thinking about throughout the day? Your thoughts and feelings are being fertilized by your attention to them. Have you ever looked through a camera lens that is out of focus? The object was blurry, hard to see, or unrecognizable. What’s in your viewfinder? Blurry, or in focus? What you think, feel and act upon must be in focus. Acting on a desire out of fear and doubt will send you less than desired results.

When the motivating factor is to develop crystal clear clarity in attaining your desired result, you cannot fail. Be vigilant as you move forward. The Universe if infinite. The unseen can be brought into your reality, because there are unlimited resources available to you that you may not be aware of. Choose to work on one desire you want more than anything else. Focus the force of your thought, feeling, and action upon it, as if it is here now, not in the future -> NOW. Many years ago, I coined these three letters as your Naturally Occurring Wonder.

Before sleep, visualize your end desire in living color. Leave no detail out. Use your senses to create what you desire, as if it is here now. Do this in the morning, throughout the day, and before sleep. The moment you wake up – visualize the day you wish to unfold. Pre-pave your day in great detail. Allow the unseen forces of your inner world to handle the outer world details. Day after day with constancy – you will begin to see the results. If there is a negative situation you want resolved, put your energy into seeing the end result accomplished positively to everyone’s satisfaction. Not with anger, blame, or retaliation. Only with joy, happiness, and love will you succeed. Flip the switch…

Stay happy, on course, never lose sight of your desire, knowing that it must come to you. If you are not focused, doubt your desired outcome, hopping from one desire to another, your end result will scatter like leaves in a strong wind. Do not worry about the time frame in which it comes to you. Have faith, knowing it is done. There is no need to check on it. Keep these desires to yourself, as they are deeply personal. Distractions from other people will dilute all your inner work, especially if they doubt your truth.

We are mirrors for each other

What you see in another, they see in you. Stay out of judging and condemning others, as it will circle back to you. Once you take back your creative powers, you will never be the same. It’s your natural right. I am taking my own advice very seriously. I had lapsed in my own life, by letting ‘life’ distract me. I realize the world is myself pushed out, and mirroring those vibrations back to me. I want to live deliberately, not by default.

Swim In Your Lane – Stay Out Of Mine

 

The phrase “swim in your lane, stay out of mine” can evoke a sense of boundaries, independence, and personal focus. While setting boundaries is essential for mental health and personal growth, the sentiment can sometimes contribute to feelings of angst and separation, especially when it creates distance between family and friends. In a world where division and isolation can feel overwhelming, how can we reinterpret this idea to foster connection, harmony, and a shared rhythm in the sea of life?

My husband Cody once said, “Life can be a crap-shoot, bring plenty of toilet paper.” This statement makes me laugh. It’s so true, there are times we get blindsided by events in our lives. There are times in life when we may run out of toilet paper, (so to speak) and have to come up with a strategy on the go!

I have written extensively about ‘adaptability’ – as a key ingredient to a successful life.

Below are ideas for embracing individuality while swimming together in a beautiful, collective flow.

1. Respecting Individual Lanes While Sharing the Same Waters

Each person’s “lane” represents their unique journey – values, goals, and personal responsibilities. Respecting these lanes means honoring others’ choices and paths without judgment. To swim together, we can:

Practice active listening: When friends or family share their dreams or struggles, listen without trying to steer them into your lane. I know, it can be challenging! For example, if a friend chooses a career path that does not resonate with your thoughts and feelings, celebrate their courage rather than comparing it to your own.

Create shared moments: Enjoy family meals or friend meetups where everyone brings something unique to the table – whether it’s a story, or a perspective. This builds a sense of unity while respecting individuality.

Offer support, not control: If a loved one is struggling, offer help in a way that respects their autonomy, like asking, “How can I support you in your vision?” Ask what they need from you and if you are able, offer what support you can.

By respecting each other’s lanes, we create space for authentic connection, like swimmers gliding side by side in harmony.

2. Finding Common Currents Through Shared Values

While everyone has their own lane, shared values can act like currents that pull us together. To foster connection:

Identify common goals: Families or friend groups can find shared interests, like volunteering together, pursuing a fun exercise like pickle-ball, walking, yoga, or working on a shared community project. For instance, starting a garden together, blending each individuals talents into a collective effort.

Celebrate differences as strengths: Recognize that each person’s unique skills or perspectives strengthen as individuals learn from each other. A friend’s knack for organization paired with another’s creativity can lead to amazing collaborative projects.

Communicate openly about values: Discuss what matters most to each person. This builds understanding, reducing the angst caused by misaligned expectations.

By aligning on shared values, we swim in parallel lanes, moving toward a common destination.

3. Navigating Conflict with Grace

Angst often arises from conflicts when lanes seem to collide. To swim together peacefully:

Use empathy to bridge gaps: When disagreements arise, try to see the situation from the other person’s perspective. For example, if a family member feels strongly about a political issue, ask questions to understand their view rather than arguing. Yes, can be a big challenge. I have found that for the most part, people carry their opinions deeply and are not open to changing those opinions. If you need to avoid certain topics, do so. Find common interests that align and bridge the gap.

Set clear, kind boundaries: If someone’s actions feel intrusive, communicate your needs calmly. For instance, “I need some time away from this topic, but I’d love to catch up at another time” sets a boundary while maintaining connection.

Resolve conflicts collaboratively: Approach disagreements in a family or group of friends collectively to find solutions, like agreeing on specific times to discuss sensitive topics, ensuring everyone feels heard. Many people feel drowned out by the noise, remaining quiet, and it’s a good chance they have have something of value to share. Awareness on everyone’s part is helpful.

Graceful conflict navigation keeps relationships strong, allowing everyone to swim smoothly. Like synchronized swimming!

4. Celebrating Milestones Together

Shared celebrations create a rhythmic flow in relationships, like waves lifting everyone higher. To do this:

Acknowledge individual achievements: Celebrate a family or friend’s new job, or a family member’s personal milestone with enthusiasm. A heartfelt note or small gesture can go a long way.

Create group traditions: Establish traditions like group vacations, game/card/puzzle nights, or holiday gatherings that bring people together regularly, reinforcing bonds.

Share gratitude: Express appreciation for each other’s unique contributions, for each person brings their own personal flavor the the table. For example, thank a friend for their humor or a sibling for their reliability, highlighting how their contribution enriches the group.

Celebrations create a collective current, pulling everyone closer in the sea of life.

5. Embracing Vulnerability to Deepen Connection

Swimming together requires trust and vulnerability, allowing us to share the waters of life authentically. To build this:

Share personal challenges: Open up about your struggles, like feeling overwhelmed at work or having personal challenges. Provide support and understanding. This encourages others to do the same, fostering closeness. Vulnerability can be difficult for many people, but it assists in transforming individual lanes into a shared sea of empathy and support.

Ask for help: If you’re struggling to stay afloat, reach out. Asking a friend for advice or a family member for a listening ear shows strength, not weakness. I have found many times, when people are able to talk things out with people they trust – they may just work through the issue – all on their own. Look for help from people who you know, like, and trust.

Be present: Show up for others without trying to fix their lane. Sometimes, simply being there – whether through a phone call or a quiet moment together – creates a powerful connection. Many people are lonely and human connection is a lifeline to us all.

Mutual growth creates a harmonious flow, where everyone’s lane courageously contributes to the collective journey.

In Conclusion

The idea of “swim in your lane, stay out of mine” doesn’t have to mean isolation. By respecting individuality, sharing values, navigating conflict with grace, celebrating together, embracing vulnerability, and growing as a group, we can swim side by side in the sea of life. This creates a beautiful rhythm where personal journeys intertwine, fostering connection and reducing the angst of separation. Like swimmers in a vast ocean, we can move together, each in our lane, yet united in the same current, creating a symphony of shared experiences.

A Personal Reflection on Courage

Y’all, this month’s post will be short and sweet…

It’s my birthday month, as well as my husbands. The summer festivals have just opened, and we are looking forward to kicking off the summer with great friends, music, and all our beach town has to offer.

As I sit down to share the story of the carrot, egg, and coffee bean with you, I’m reminded of the moments in my own life when courage has been tested. This simple tale, speaks to the heart of how we face life’s challenges. It’s a story that’s stayed with me, urging us to find the courage not just to endure, but to shape our struggles into something meaningful. I’m excited to share this with you, because it reflects the resilience and bravery I see in many of you every day.

Are You the Carrot, Egg, or Coffee Bean?

There was a young woman who complained to her mother that things were so hard. Not knowing how she would get through it, the daughter felt she wanted to give up. Each day presented constant struggles, and she was tired of fighting. After one problem was solved, it seemed that another always arose in its place.

The mother took her daughter to the kitchen and filled three pots of water. In the first pot, the mother placed some raw carrots. In the second, she placed several uncooked whole eggs. And in the third, she placed ground coffee beans.

The mother and daughter watched and waited as the water began to boil, the mother not saying a word, the daughter impatient and wondering what her mom was doing. About 20 minutes passed, and the mom turned off the stove. Then, she fished out the cooked carrots and placed them in a bowl, she lifted out the boiled eggs and set them in another bowl, and she dipped a ladle into the coffee and poured some into a bowl as well.

Turning to her daughter, the mother asked, “Tell me what you see?”

The daughter replied, “Carrots, eggs, and coffee.”

Drawing the daughter toward them, the mom asked her to touch the carrots. They felt tender to the young woman’s fingers. The mom asked her to crack open and feel an egg, and she did so. The hard-boiled egg felt tough and rubbery to the touch. Lastly, the mom asked her to take a sip of the freshly brewed coffee. The young woman breathed in the rich aroma, which brought a smile to her face.

Sipping her coffee, the daughter asked, “Mom, why do you show me this?”

“Because each of these objects faced the same adversity: the boiling water,” said the mom, who explained how each of them had responded differently. The carrots went in ridged and hard but came out tender and weak. The eggs had been very delicate, but after they were boiled they turned tough and dense. But the coffee was different. Instead of being changed, it changed the water.

“Which are you?” the mother asked. “When troubles knock on your door, how do you respond, like carrots, eggs, or coffee?”

Final Thoughts on the Power of Courage

This story hits close to home because it’s about the choices we make when life gets tough – and trust me, I’ve had my share of tough moments. The carrot, egg, and coffee bean remind us that we can wilt under pressure, harden to protect ourselves, or, like the coffee bean, use our courage to transform our circumstances. To me, this story is a call to be brave, to choose growth over surrender, and to inspire others with our strength. You, my readers, embody this courage in your stories, your comments, and your unwavering spirit. Let’s keep being coffee beans – transforming challenges into opportunities and lifting each other up along the way. Thank you for sharing this journey with me.

For the complete story…

The Coffee Bean by Jon Gordon & Damon West

The Coffee Bean is an inspiring tale that follows Abe, a young man filled with stress and fear as he faces challenges and pressure at school and home. One day after class, his teacher shares with him the life-changing lesson of the coffee bean, and this powerful message changes the way he thinks, acts, and sees the world. Abe discovers that instead of letting his environment change him for the worse, he can transform any environment he is in for the better. Equipped with this transformational truth, Abe embarks on an inspirational journey to live his life like the coffee bean. Wherever his life takes him, from school, to the military, to the business world, Abe demonstrates how this simple lesson can unleash the unstoppable power within you.

Navigating the Emotional Rug Pull

 

Let me explain…

My interpretation of the “emotional rug pull” and the ripple of after affects. How do you feel when you have been lied to or deceived? These half truths can come from parents, friends, relatives, teachers, religious organizations, institutions, or leaders you hold sacred. Even if these harmless deceptions are only out of love, they create ripples, like throwing a stone in water.

Many of these deceptions are done not to harm, but are meant to hold up traditions, generation after generation. For example lets take Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. You are told all about Santa Clause when very young, and how he comes down the chimney at night, and the best toys go to children who have been “extra good” all year. St. Nick also takes a cookie and has some milk before heading back up the chimney. This is harmless generational fibbing, right? There are even letters to Santa sent to the North Pole, putting more pressure on parents to buy specific toys, all to be opened after a sleepless night of excitement and anticipation.

You get a bit older and head off to school…

You find out there is no Santa and it’s all made up. The rug has been pulled out from under you. What!! In my mind it was created to promote shopping/commercialism at specific times of the year – depending on the holiday. Don’t get me started on Valentine’s Day! How many kids can’t figure out that bunny’s don’t poop colored eggs? Do you see how easy it is to promote certain ways of thinking in people from a very young age? In the USA we have Halloween, followed by Thanksgiving a month before Christmas. I am not trying to ruin your holidays – just making a few valid points for consideration.

The expense of getting to and from distant family, expectations, outcomes, etc, can be joyful to some and challenging for others. FYI – I am using my life and holiday experience as an example.  Whatever holidays you observe may be entirely different.  A rug pull is a rug pull!  Once one holiday ends, another is hot on it’s trail. I find it telling that on each holiday, or special day, people are expected to buy gifts. Commercialism is hotly promoted all year. The discounts and sales begin to draw us in.

I lived through all of this growing up, and in most cases with joy and anticipation. Like many of you, it’s what I knew. These childhood holidays never did me any harm personally, but I’m trying to make a point. It’s not harmless in the long run, once you can see the forest for the trees. Many people have felt emotional upheaval throughout their lives because they have been lied to by those they love and trusted. There are people who believe you need to be lied to – for your own good. This opens up a whole other can of worms. No matter the trauma, fear, confusion, division, or experiences we may be living at any point in life, the positives can outweigh the negatives – if we choose it to be so. I took a step back and looked at what I believe to be true.

Getting the rug pulled out from under you

It’s like the old trick seen in movies – reel life, not real life. Imagine a perfectly set table. A magically skilled person quickly yanks the table cloth off, and voila, the dishes remain right where they were. Wow, that’s a trick you never saw coming. It takes a lot of practice. If I tried that trick, there would be a loud crash and shattered dishes for sure! To my point, this is similar to the rug pull we did not see coming. The illusion is so real it fogs the brain. Learning to navigate life, especially in our crazy world can be overwhelming. My wise friend Kathy recommended I write an article that could assist people who are struggling to navigate some of the chaos in their inner and outer lives right now.

To be clear, the emotional rug pull is different for each of us

“People would pull the rug out from under me. So I learned how to dance on a moving carpet.” – Wayne W. Dyer

The world is split, people separated in ways that are destroying family’s, friendships, work relationships, and on it goes. I’m seriously sad to witness this. Some of us, who are on opposite sides of the fence carry on quite well together, out of respect and love – because that’s what good/kind people do.

Navigation time – Keeping the Rug Intact!Ground Yourself in the Present Moment
Fear often stems from uncertainty about the future. Practice mindfulness techniques, like focusing on their breath for 1-2 minutes. Notice five sensory details (sights, sounds, textures) in your surroundings. This interrupts spiraling thoughts and anchors them in the now.Curate Your Information Diet
Confusion thrives in information overload. Limit exposure to sensational news or divisive social media. Try this- pick 1-2 trusted sources and check them only at set times, like once in the morning and evening. This can help reduce mental clutter.Name the Emotion, Tame the Emotion
Fear and confusion lose power when identified. Try writing, or say aloud what you’re feeling (e.g., “I’m scared about social unrest” or “I’m confused by conflicting news”). Labeling emotions helps process them, and reduces/tames the intensity of our feelings.Connect with a Trusted Circle
Division can make people feel isolated. Reach out to supportive friends or family for honest conversations. Sharing fears fosters connection and perspective, countering the “us vs. them” mindset.Focus on What You Can Control
Fear often comes from feeling powerless. How about trying a two-column list: one for things you personally can’t control (e.g., global events) and one for things they can (e.g., your daily routine, mindset, and kindness to others). Direct energy toward the second column to bring peace into your day.Engage in Small Acts of Purpose
Confusion can paralyze decision-making. Small, meaningful actions are VIP. Volunteer locally, help a neighbor, or learn a new skill. These activities restore a sense of purpose and counteract helplessness.Limit Doom-scrolling with a ‘Hope Anchor’
To combat the pull of negative news, create a “hope anchor” such as an image or music that makes you smile and uplifts your spirits. Keep it accessible to shift focus during anxious moments. Read quotes that conspire to inspire.Practice Self-Compassion Breaks
Pause during overwhelming moments and silently acknowledge, “This is hard, and I’m doing my best.” I personally say, “I choose peace.” If it’s a particular challenge I say it over and over until I feel at peace.Re-frame Division as a Call to Listen
Instead of seeing division as a threat, even if you don’t agree, approach it as an opportunity to understand others’ perspectives. Encourage asking open-ended questions in conversations (e.g., “What’s been tough for you lately?”) to build bridges and reduce fear of “the other.”Build a Resilience Routine
Consistency fights chaos. Daily activity or practices are great as are more hope anchors. Try combining physical movement (e.g., a 10-minute walk), mental reflection (e.g., journaling one thing you’re grateful for), and rest (e.g., 5 minutes of deep breathing). Small habits create stability amid uncertainty. Find a new routine or use your tried and true method.

These tips are a few of the strategies we can use throughout life. It’s easier to keep the “rug” firmly under our feet when we learn to navigate our emotions. Stay present and take a moment at a time, making wise choices that support you and your life.

Courageously Defying Your Comfort Zone

 

Picture this:

Your favorite armchair, that same old routine, a life wrapped in predictability. It’s comforting, sure – especially with the world shifting under our feet these days. But deep down, you know it’s a cage, if you are unable to move forward with your life in joy and peace. When I sit at home all cozy drinking my coffee or glass of wine – reading a great book, enjoying dinner, or writing an article for you, I feel safe and peaceful. Although those moments are lovely, there is much more to life.

Writing and publishing my book, “Change Your Movie, Change Your Life” – 7 Reel Concepts for Courageous Change had me shaking in my boots! I knew that no matter how painful all the loss that occurred in those few short years had been, that throughout the journey of writing, there would be much healing and peace. Not just for myself, but for others. It was a long road to travel (my husband’s endless support made all the difference!) but it was part of my life’s journey that was meant to be. If writing my book changed one persons perspective on death, grief and life, I was successful. Writing articles and sharing my Living in Courage Newsletters are a joy in my life.

What if stepping out could unlock something bigger?

Embracing Uncertainty: It’s not easy, but leaning into the unknown can be your strength. Think of it as trading a map for a compass – scary, but you’ll find your way.

Tuning Out the Noise: That inner voice screaming “stay safe” or the well-meaning advice to stick with what works? Give it a polite nod and keep moving. Your gut knows more than the crowd.

Taking Action: Start small—say yes to a new challenge, reach out to someone unexpected, or chase a dream you’ve shelved. Seek out a mentor you respect to exchange dreams and ideas with. The possibilities are endless!

One step can shift everything, and you’re tougher than you think. Add a bold move like facing a fear head-on. Do something that scares you, or tackle a physical challenge you’ve avoided. Even journaling your fears and burning the page can be a defiant act. How about volunteering? Helping someone else can kick-start your own courage. This courage takes shape differently across the globe…

Diverse Nod: As I just mentioned courage looks, feels, and is experienced differently everywhere. A nurse in Kenya learning a new skill to save lives. A single mom or dad starting a side hustle to support their family. A retiree in Italy mentoring youth. An autistic woman rebuilding her life through art, or a farmer in Brazil adapting to organic crops. It’s universal, and it’s yours to claim, no matter the challenge.

Overcoming the Fear of Change

Change is coming—technology’s reshaping our lives, exploration’s pushing us to new frontiers, and who knows, maybe aliens will join the party. It’s natural to freeze up, but here’s the trick: break it down. Start by imagining one future shift – like mastering a new app or dreaming of a long awaited road trip, and take a step toward it. The future’s wild and uncertain, but your courage can tame it. Don’t let fear run wild over things that may never happen. Laugh at the fear – it’s just a speed bump, not a wall.

Take the time to reflect on a past win, like I did with my book – to fuel your next step. When we look back, it’s amazing what we’ve accomplished. As we move forward, it’s easy to forget the important moments in our lives, simply because we are moving too fast looking for something new. Take the time to pat yourself on the back – you deserve it.

Trust in This: The Universe Guides and Provides. Are your ears and eyes open to this? The clues are everywhere if you make a conscious decision to notice them. Do not join the ranks of the walking dead. Stay alert, open, and quiet your mind to this guidance. Your personal navigational guide waiting for you to say, “Hey, sometimes I forget my inner wisdom and guidance is my cosmic GPS – time to stop backseat driving and let it steer me to the stars!”

Uplifting Soul Punch

Comfort keeps you calm, but living in courage wakes you up to a life that’s truly yours. Grab that bike, throw on some cowboy boots and ride off into the sunset! Take that leap – not because you have to, but because you can.

You’re an Energy Factory—Stop Running It Like a Dumpster Fire!

 

Now don’t take offense my friends. You, like everything, and I mean everything, is energy. What are you connecting your energy too? Do you desire to set boundaries with people and situations that drain and zap you?

Speak this statement out-loud into your energy field,  “Energy Vampires Beware: I’m raising my frequency and you aren’t invited.”  I’m sure you don’t want to burn out, or create a dumpster fire factory. If a person does not believe this powerful live active energy flows in, through, and around them, they will manifest in direct proportion to their belief.

When I refer to an Energy Vampire

I’m talking about a person who leaves you feeling drained every time you interact. They turn every conversation into a complaint-fest, a drama spiral, or a self-absorbed monologue. Yeah, that’s an energy vampire. And guess what? Your energy is not an all-you-can-eat buffet. It’s time to raise your frequency, and not everyone gets an invite.

Do you ever dread a text, call, or visit from someone, or even feel exhausted after they leave? When your mood dips – getting back to your ‘happy place’ takes work on your part. Let’s be honest, negative people complain, dump their drama on you, and only come around when they need something. It’s exhausting because no matter how much you give, it’s never enough. Ring a bell? Ding Ding!

How do you Vampire Proof your life?

First, recognize where the energy leak is coming from. Remember – Everything is Energy

I’m going to keep this simple, instead of making a long list of things that will vampire proof your life. There is one really important word to use. The word is NO. If you’re human it’s natural to feel a tiny bit of guilt, but be as strong as you can when you say. “NO!”

Taking on other people’s emotional energy baggage creates a black energy hole. Unless you invite it in, you really don’t need that kind of dumpster fire lit inside of you.

Flexing your energy muscles

Charge your batteries. Keep your energy strong, doing things that feeds your body, mind and spirit. Engage in activities you know bring you the most joy and peace.

Surround yourself with people who lift you up instead of wearing you down.

If you can make a positive impression or create support without affecting your energy field, go for it!

Own your space without explaining yourself. (This one took me a long time and truth be told, I’m still working on it.)

Let go of guilt for prioritizing your well-being.

Your energy is precious – protect it like your Phone or Wi-Fi password. The people who vibe with you will rise to meet you. The rest? They can find another outlet.

Realize we are creating it all

Every person, situation, and event occurring in our lives was choreographed by each of us for our energetic and vibrational growth. From a nonjudgmental mindset, witness what is unfolding in your daily life. The only power any experience has over us is the power we give it and our judgments of it. The collective experience is not mine or yours alone. We are all going through this together. Your personal quest belongs exclusively to you.

Few people are capable of exercising complete control over their thoughts. We are, at our fundamental manifestation, pure energy. Energy never dissipates; it merely transforms into another manifestation. Our energetic force field extends out from our bodies for some distance. When our harmonious current of power is interrupted or stopped, little of our “good” can get through, if any at all. The flow gets a kink, stopped up by engaging with the forces of fear and negativity. Hence, you are an energy factory. I don’t think any of us want to run it like a dumpster fire.

Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys: Walking Away from Toxic People

Letting go of people who drag you down—just thinking about it feels liberating, doesn’t it?

Life, in all its unpredictable madness, often feels like a full-blown circus. And let’s be real – the monkeys? Oh, they’re everywhere. Swinging from crisis to crisis, tossing drama like confetti, and turning every peaceful moment into their personal three-ring spectacle.

At some point, we all realize that not everyone deserves a starring role in our show – our personal reel life movie. Call it lifestyle well-being clutter clearing, but walking away from chaos isn’t just self-care, it’s survival.

Contrast is a ruthless yet effective teacher. Without it, how would we ever figure out what lifts us up and what holds us back? Every bad experience, every energy-draining interaction, every lesson in “never again” sharpens our understanding of what truly matters. And let’s be honest – if we didn’t deal with a few circus acts along the way, we’d never fully appreciate the peace of stepping outside the big top.

The best part? You don’t have to tame the monkeys, fix the circus, or explain your exit. Just walk away. The show will go on without you.

Sometimes, walking away from the circus monkeys is the best thing you can do for your own mental and emotional well-being. Here are some actions that may lead to that decision:Disrespectful Behavior: Disrespect is a major red flag. If someone consistently undermines or dismisses you, it’s time to step back.Causing Pain: Toxic people often cause emotional or physical harm, draining your energy and leaving you feeling worse for being around them.Non-Supportive: They’re negative and fail to encourage your growth or success, choosing instead to remain stuck in their own negativity.Fear-Driven: Fear consumes them, showing up in their words and actions, shaping their life in ways that perpetuates worry and anxiety, which leads to more fear.Drama-Centered: Whining, complaining, blaming, and constant drama make life feel like a never-ending soap opera. It’s exhausting to engage with people who thrive on chaos.Lack of Integrity: Dishonesty, manipulation, and playing the victim are common traits of toxic people. They lie, cheat, and steal, with little to no regard for how their actions affect others.Ego and Self-Centeredness: Toxic individuals often prioritize their own agenda and can’t extend kindness or gratitude. Their actions (narcissistic much!) are driven by an inflated sense of self, and everything revolves around them.

At the end of the day, you deserve to be around people who lift you up, not bring you down. Walking away is an act of self-preservation. – Debra Oakland

Actions to Support Relationships – Stop Monkeying Around!Never Apologize for Having High Standards: Your standards are a reflection of your self-respect. Stick to them, and only allow people into your life who meet those standards. Don’t settle for less than you deserve.Decide How Long to Tolerate Negative or Angry Behavior: You may not always be able to predict someone’s bad behavior, but you always have the power to decide how much you will tolerate. Set boundaries – enforce them when needed. It’s hard to be at war with another and at peace with yourself.Communication is Key: Open, honest communication builds trust and understanding. Speak your truth clearly and listen without judgment. It’s the foundation for healthy, thriving relationships.Trust Your Instincts and Keep Your Inner Power: Your intuition is a powerful guide. Don’t let anyone take away your inner strength or confidence. If you’ve allowed others to diminish your power, take it back courageously and trust yourself to make the right decisions.Evaluate Your Relationships and Expectations: Are the relationships in your life aligned with your values? Assess both sides, what you give and what you receive.Courageously Choose Mutually Supportive Relationships: Surround yourself with people who encourage your growth, celebrate your successes, and support you through challenges. Cultivate relationships that are reciprocal and enriching.Enjoy Good Relationships with Gratitude: Appreciate the people in your life who uplift and inspire you. A thankful heart attracts more positivity and deepens your connections. When there is mutual respect and understanding, relationships flourish. Forgiveness is a tool to use wisely.Every moment of every day, you’re the ringmaster of your own circus…

Make conscious choices and decide which acts will take center stage. If the choices you’ve made in the past haven’t been serving you, well, it’s time to grab that whip and crack it – because you have the power to change the show. The truth is, we’re all where we are because of an infinite series of choices. And those “random” events? They’re just the clowns dropping in to remind you that you get to choose how you respond.

Pay attention to the thoughts you’re entertaining. They’re the opening act to the choices you’ll make next. If you want to change the performance of your life, start by radiating love, compassion, and joy – not just out into the world, but into yourself. When you fill up with those qualities, you’ve got a magnetic power that draws in more of the same. But let’s face it – part of that magnetic power is knowing when to kick the monkeys out of your tent.

Letting go of the people who drag you down is the first step toward reclaiming your power and keeping the circus running smoothly. Focus on living your life authentically, choosing peace over chaos, and surrounding yourself with the people who make your show a hit. A little gratitude, an open mind, and a heart full of love—those are your best props.

So, when the monkeys start swinging from the rafters, causing a ruckus in your life, just remember: Not my circus, not my monkeys. You’ve got a show to run, and the audience you keep matters. Cut the drama, choose wisely, and let the monkeys sort themselves out.

Restorative Resuscitation & Resilience

Worn out? I get it!

A little restorative resuscitation could be in order. No matter what is going on in the outer world, our responsibility is our inner world. The space inside us that creates resilience when we need it most. Imagine sitting back in a hammock with your favorite beverage in hand, taking deep refreshing breaths, with a sigh of relief escaping your lips.

We often look to the outside world to fix our problems, hoping that once it does, life will flow with ease and joy. But here’s the truth – it’s an inside job. As long as we hold onto anger, fear, and negativity, nothing will truly align with the deepest desires of our hearts. Change begins within.

When our core has been resuscitated, so shall we.

Little by little, over time – perhaps not even in our lifetime – we can and will change the world. We must remember: we’re all in this together. Yet, too often, people struggle to coexist, caught in cycles of division and discord. Yes, these have been tumultuous times, and the world can be painfully judgmental. But it’s time to turn the page, to rewrite the narrative—not with conflict, but with compassion. For the good of humanity, let’s choose a different path. I know you feel the same.

Work is important, but so is play – so is truly living. We are meant to embrace life, to savor its beauty, and to hold onto hope. We thrive when we welcome new perspectives, when we open ourselves to the possibility of change. Even the smallest shifts in our mindset can ripple out in ways we may never fully see. Simply choosing peace over angst creates a powerful impact. Imagine the energy you send out – waves of uplifting mojo vibrating across the world. Cliché? Maybe. But it’s real. Right now, whether positive or negative, your energy is shaping the world around you – whether you realize it or not.

So, do you choose to be an upper or a downer?

Let’s be real – those who dwell in negativity (downers) don’t bounce back as quickly as those (uppers) who embrace resilience. Just saying, friends. Try a little restorative resuscitation – breathe in resilience, let it settle in, and notice the difference. When your inner world is in order, you can shape the outer world – yours included – more effectively. For some, this transformation takes a lifetime, but hey, better late than never.

Here is an short story/article written by Vernon Howard sharing two different viewpoints…

People are often puzzled by the idea of making life more enjoyable by changing their viewpoints. Let’s examine it:

Suppose you are not feeling well one day, yet you accompany some friends on a leisurely drive through the beautiful countryside. Someone calls your attention to a lovely lake, but because of your illness, you cannot give it your attention or interest. Someone else remarks about a magnificent mountain in the distance, but you hardly hear him. You pass one lovely scene after another, yet they have no meaning to you. Because your illness has taken all your energy, you have none to spare in enjoying yourself. It is the same to your mind as if these natural beauties didn’t exist at all. In your present ill state, they have neither existence nor attraction.

But the next day you recover. You feel fine. There is no inward attention to anything; you are outward bound once more. So again you go on a drive; you visit the very same places. But now, everything is completely different. You enjoy the lovely lake and magnificent mountain. You respond to them. You enjoy yourself.

How come? It was the very same scenery both times. But on the second trip you were different. You saw everything in an entirely new way. You had the inner freedom to see and appreciate your outer world. Like magic, your changed mental viewpoint changed the world for you.

It is difficult for people to grasp that the very same principle holds true elsewhere in life. Yet it is absolutely so. When we are inwardly ill at ease we do not really see things as they are; we see them as we are. And there is a world of difference – an actual world of difference – in the two viewpoints.

As we elevate our mental view points we also elevate our world. How is this accomplished? Enjoyment results from discard, not from acquisition. Discard of what? Of the very things we really want to lose – our acquired negative attitudes.

Enjoyment of life is not the presence of something outside ourselves; it is the absence of something within ourselves. Gloom is a state of inner blockage of your True Self; enjoyment is its release. Just as a balloon rises to greater heights by discarding weights, so do we ascend as we toss out negativities.

Vernon Howard
From Psycho-Pictography

Living Courageously in 2025: How to Thrive Through Life’s Biggest Changes

As we step into 2025, change is inevitable for all of us, on many varied levels. This can cause fear and uncertainty. To gain a positive perspective, think about this: Shift and change give us an opportunity to adapt and thrive, making us more resilient, kicking our courage levels into high gear. Fear holds us back, and for some this can be paralyzing. Embracing change (even with chattering teeth) can become a path to success.  Life doesn’t always go according to plan. Think about your fears. Pick one – start there.

 Keys to facing change and thriving in the year ahead

– Acknowledge your fears, consider them as growth – rather than a threat

– Re-frame failure. Get up more times than you fall down.

– Believe in your ability to survive and thrive

– Embrace flexibility and adaptability as change and shifts occur

– Develop healthy habits for your physical and mental well-being

– Surround yourself with those who inspire the best in you

– Prioritize relationships in all areas of your life

– Lean into your courage and trust your heart

– Take bold actions that support you

– Celebrate your wins with gratitude – no matter how small or large

My question to you is this: “2025 is your opportunity to live courageously, embrace change, and thrive like never before. The journey begins with one brave step. Will you take it?”

This story is an example that demonstrates a leap of faith by taking one or more brave steps…

From Fear to Flourishing: The Power of Embracing Change

There was once a small family-owned bookstore, nestled in a quiet neighborhood, that had been a local staple for over 30 years. The owners, Sarah and Mark, had built their lives around the store, pouring their hearts into it. The shelves were lined with old classics, and the warm scent of books filled the air. Over the years, however, they began to notice a decline in foot traffic. More and more people were turning to online retailers for their books, and the rise of e-readers left the store feeling like a relic of the past.

For months, Sarah and Mark debated what to do. They felt a deep loyalty to the store and their customers, but the fear of change held them back. The thought of closing the bookstore was unbearable. They had built their identity around it, and the prospect of shifting to something new felt overwhelming.

Their fear was rooted in the unknown—would they fail? Could they adapt to the rapidly changing world around them? The risk seemed too great. But after much contemplation, Sarah and Mark decided to take a leap of faith. Instead of closing the store, they chose to reinvent it.

They started small, by opening an online store and offering virtual book clubs. They also decided to host author events and workshops in the evenings. The transition was not easy. The store had to undergo a redesign, inventory had to be updated, and Sarah and Mark had to learn new skills they never imagined they’d need. They were scared of whether the community would embrace these changes or if they’d alienate their loyal customers.

But then, something unexpected happened. Slowly, customers who had once stopped coming into the store began to return—not just for the books, but for the experience. The author events and workshops drew in new faces, and the online store became a go-to for people who loved supporting local businesses. Sarah and Mark had taken their fear of change and transformed it into something creative and forward-thinking.

In the end, their bookstore not only survived but thrived, becoming a beacon of innovation and resilience in a world that was constantly changing. Looking back, Sarah and Mark realized that their greatest fear—the fear of change—had been the very thing that propelled them to create something better than they ever imagined.

Your year of thriving awaits. Can you pivot when faced with unexpected challenges?

I know you can!