Debra Oakland's Blog, page 5

In A Chaotic World Of Fear – Be Your Own Hero

It takes courage to be heroic in chaos

The world we live in at this moment has become unrecognizable to most of us. The battles we were never made aware of, have always gone on behind the scenes with those in power. Not all, but much of it is now out in the open. The surface has become a battleground of people running in circles declaring their “truth” as they believe it. If everyone is wrong – who’s right? If everyone is right – who’s wrong?

Don’t you agree it would be hard to write a book containing every crazy thing going on in the world? Who could write this ‘story’ and make it believable to a reader? Definitely NOT a bestseller. Too much chaos with no firm story line that makes a lick of sense. You can’t change the narrative page by page and have a story make sense. There needs to be flow, a consistency that draws the reader in.

We are in a battle of the ages that has gone on longer than most can imagine

Lines have been drawn for centuries between true evil and not so evil. Think dark vs light. Movies and Tell-A-Vision show us the vision they want us to see. Stories that capture people. You think of it as fiction, but it’s not, these things really happen. Hmm, let’s show the viewers some truth and see how they react. Many love what they see, again thinking most of it as fiction or sci-fi. Games, movies, TV, books and art guide people to accepting what they see. It’s accepted and it seems okay – because it’s not real.

Readers love the protagonists being in fear and negotiating for their lives

Tension and chaos is a powerful tool in visuals and writing. We must understand that many in control of this world find fear useful and versatile. As we know, children are susceptible and easily captured by images and colors that excite them. What have we allowed and how has all of this affected us since childhood?

Let’s expand on fear. Fear is primordial. The F word provokes bio-chemical responses in us, and hey, keep it clean! Maybe you can’t breathe, your heart pounds, your body tenses and nervous habits ensue, I’ve see this happen when people are gaming or watching something violent. We are also given fear as a self-preservation tool. It’s all a matter of how you choose to interact with fear. From being attacked, flying in an airplane, facing a deadline at work, getting married or any F-factor, we are affected in some way. Our sympathetic nervous system is activated. When we immerse our-self in the depths of fear, our body, mind and spirit are affected.

Never hate your enemies, it affects your judgement. – Mario Puzo

We are characters in the larger picture of life, creating and living our individual stories. Fear challenges us for good or for bad. One thing I appreciate about fear is that it drives us forward, challenges us and helps us to overcome life’s biggest challenges and boundaries. Critical thinking can be dangerous – if we don’t use it. Who have we become and at what cost to ourselves and the world at large? The more we tear each other apart, the faster we destroy the fabric of life. The rest of this year and some time beyond is going to be a roller coaster ride. Time to buckle up – shit’s getting real.

 

Original article: In A Chaotic World Of Fear – Be Your Own Hero

©2022 Debra Oakland. All Rights Reserved.

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The Wisdom Of Life Experiences

The Wisdom Of Life Experiences

I heard a friend of mine say, “The wisdom of life experience is intoxicating.”

When Christian uttered these words, my mind was filled with the complexities of our existence on Earth. I began to wonder, “How many people find the experience of life intoxicating?” This brought a new perspective to me, an appreciation for this simple – yet complex statement.

For most, life is full of experiences that enhance or detract from happiness, moment to moment. Our choices affect the outcome we experience. We can blame others, circumstances, or the world for our less than ideal experiences. Yes, there are certain things that are unavoidable and others choices can affect us, but at the end of the day – the choices we make are ours. Just one decision can alter our entire life path.

My family moved from the US to Canada when I was 16. Had I not left Canada to return to the US when I was 27, my life would have followed a completely different trajectory. I made the choice to enhance my happiness and walked into uncharted waters. Little did I know that this move lined me up to meet my lifetime partner and love of my life. I can’t imagine my life without my husband Cody in it. Every day I think about each conscious choice I make, and where those choices will lead me.

Over the years I have looked back and examined my choices – with much consideration…

For example, who to spend time with, and appreciating the wisdom learned from those who have crossed my path. Some of the most important lessons for growth and expansion were for me personally. Others were for those I invited into the movie of my life. In and out we weave through the lives of others, swimming in a tide of smooth, rough, or muddy waters. It’s natural for us to be exposed to a variety of people and circumstances over the years of our lives. The best moments are intoxicating, but so are the valuable ‘aha’ moments that mold and shape us into who we become, and how we view life.

Where to live and the reasons for planting roots in a particular location are most important to both Cody and myself. I’m sure you feel the same way. Loving where you live creates harmony, especially in a chaotic outer world. We all want to feel safe and peaceful. In an increasingly discordant outer world I call the collective movie, people are unsure where to go for safety and peace. I do know when our inner world is not in fear, the decisions we make provide us with a more clear path to follow. Only you can know what actions are best for you and your family. Trust that the answers are inside you. As you take the time to listen, the answers will be there for you. Right time, right place. Timing is something that we don’t always understand, but in hindsight, can make a world of sense.

The more chaos I see in the world, the calmer I know I need to be. When I am calm, it helps others stay calm and centered. We all vary in our beliefs, religion, politics, medical choices, life choices, etc. If we do not come together in peace, we will never experience intoxicating joy in the world we all share. Separation keeps us at odds in our inner and outer world. We do not have to agree with the choices and decisions of everyone, in fact it’s impossible. The goal, at least for me, is  to expand physically, mentally and spiritually, while enjoying the wonderful intoxicating wisdom of life experiences.

Thank you Christian for uttering this wonderful statement, “The wisdom of life experience is intoxicating”. These words touched my heart and inspired this article.

Original article: The Wisdom Of Life Experiences

©2022 Debra Oakland. All Rights Reserved.

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Crisis To Crisis – 10 Tips To Adapt To Shifting Times

 

Our world is leapfrogging from one crisis to another

We have political turmoil, causing social turmoil, loss of life and grief, economic chaos, personal and professional trauma, fires and natural disasters, crime, homelessness, just to mention a few. These difficult times can leave people feeling helpless, powerless, defeated and unsure of how to move forward.

And suddenly…it’s time for new beginnings

Can you feel it? It’s time to let go of the old to make room for all these shifting times will reveal. Truth is available to those who have the courage to question what they have been taught. Adapting to shifting times isn’t easy, but necessary. Living in courage by embracing our inner power can drive our level of resiliency/flexibility (through life experiences) to new heights. Our faith and belief in things are strong. When these deep held beliefs are proven to be different than we believe them to be, what can we do? Falling into victim-hood, anger, blame, judgement are natural reactions. Best ‘responses’ are to consider the information presented. It’s best to keep in mind the programming we have been subjected to our entire lives. Some of it works, some does not. Changing our mindset is one of the most difficult things to do.

Who would we be without the programming?

Our lives would be completely different than the one we live today. More of our true selves would develop naturally, as intended. Few people experience this state of being. Our life is predicated on our individual personalities, as well as the amount of energy and focus we put into our day – how each day influences the next. Our belief is that we matter. Who do we matter to? – Big question with many answers. Obedience leads to a very comfortable life for many. No need for big thinking, just follow the status quo, being kept in line through many methods. While we all react to stressful events in different ways, many of us try to protect ourselves by refusing to accept the truth of what’s happening. The shifting times are altering the comfortable lives of people around the world and it’s getting messy. Have you faced adversity in your life? Most of us have. Challenges provide the opportunity to develop resilience. Our past can be a great teacher, helping us cope with the rough patches through wisdom gained.

10 Tips To Adapt To Shifting Times

— Be willing to suffer the discomfort of change in order to achieve a better future. Deal with things one step at a time to avoid overwhelm.

— Find a way to manage change – positive adaptation is key. Flexibility keeps balance in our lives.

— Stop struggling against change, especially when it’s for your highest and greatest good.

— Avoid negative people, yet do not retreat inside yourself in fear to make yourself feel safe.

— Develop skills involving problem solving, creativity, communication skills. Consider your resources.

— Be patient and kind when dealing with those on the opposite side of the fence.

— Do things you love to do, it’s balm for the soul, bringing a smile to your face and to others.

— Everyone copes differently. Be helpful to others when you are needed. Reach out to others when you need support.

— Never forget the importance of nutrition and sleep – you are body, mind and spirit – nurture yourself. Embrace gratitude.

— Resilience is an ongoing process that requires effort to build and maintain over time.

Powerful Quotes

“In our personal and professional lives, we are constantly hit with one adversity after the other, most of which we have no control over. But the four things we have total control over is how we react, how we adapt, how we breathe, and how we take action.” 700— Diamond Dallas Page 

“In the end, it is important to remember that we cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are.” — Max De Pree

“Being able to shift in light of new information and in light of new opportunities is a skill. Practicing will make you a more confident leader of change, now and in the future.” — Stewart D. Friedman

“It is not a failure to readjust my sails to fit the waters I find myself in.” — Mackenzi Lee

Original article: Crisis To Crisis – 10 Tips To Adapt To Shifting Times

©2022 Debra Oakland. All Rights Reserved.

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Fear Of Negative Consequences – 7 Solutions

As a species, we are driven by the fear of negative consequences

There is a great deal that is negative in the world right now. Our individual behavior contributes to this negativity. Why do I say this? Because we are programmed to look for what danger may be lurking around the corner. Why do you think headlines and the news media grab the attention of people – creating worry, fear, and apprehension? Funny thing is, we keep coming back for more. Nonsensical really, as most of it is there to distract and program those who participate. What happened to critical thinking? Seems to be on hiatus.

Not to be a Debbie Downer…

What is happening worldwide is beyond the scope of what most people can grasp. Whatever side you are on, good for you, and as my husband says, “Just don’t be a dick!” – be kind. Are we playing fair with each other? I don’t believe we are, and the cost is devastating the lives of billions. People are confused by all the contradicting information they are being fed. It’s like bullets flying in every direction and people are ducking to take cover. People hold tightly to their opinions and beliefs. Having a controversial conversation lately without triggering someone is a win win! Fear is riding roughshod and taking over many lives on this planet. I predict there will be a massive shift soon that will shake people to their very core. It’s hard for most people to stay positive in the current environment, but it is essential we do. Courage required.

Things We Will Be Hearing.

Why?

I wish I would have known. I was too busy with life to pay attention and do my homework.

Why didn’t someone tell me sooner?

Why did you know and I didn’t?

How did you stay so calm in the midst of the storm?

Is it too late?

How can we make this right?

What Can You Do?

Be a source of knowledge and be able to back it up. Help others to navigate what is currently happening and on the horizon.

People are tired, we’ve all been through the fire, so be patient.

Do your homework on how things are run on this planet. Not just here, but around the world. Dig deep.

Be a positive shoulder to cry on when needed. Lift someone up when they need you most.

Do things that make you happy. Take the time to share your secrets on happiness and well-being with others.

Remember, it’s never to late to put things right. Impatience does no good – it’s all in the timing.

Trust in yourself and do not waver, even when things get tough, and they will. Together, we are stronger.

 

Original article: Fear Of Negative Consequences – 7 Solutions

©2022 Debra Oakland. All Rights Reserved.

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Teaching Through Actions Versus Words

Our hearts are in the right place but our actions tell the true story

Children learn through repetition starting at home, expanding into the world they are surrounded and influenced by. Many kids are raised to be confident, learning self-esteem and life affirming skills. Others learn to lie, how to use fear to manipulate others, that participation doesn’t count, etc. Many are waited on hand and foot, given everything, learning no vital skills to navigate life. When we give out, there is a return. When we do not, and nothing shows up in return – the blame game begins. Everything is energy.

We are each different in our own unique and varied ways

Babies are born with souls defining much about them. Parents often take on a role they are not prepared for, others thrive in this role. As we all know parenting is full of challenges. Children are dependent upon adults. Even though our hearts mean well, sometimes we veer in a direction that does not work for parent or child. It’s important to be a living example of the person we would like to see our children become.

As a parent you need to be in charge

Setting rules, guidelines, and certain limitations are extremely important in a young life. Children are inquisitive and love learning, so communicate the W’s and the reasons you feel the way you do. Communication is something lacking in many family’s. Technology has changed the way children are brought up, and I find much of it disheartening. Don’t get me started on teenagers…that’s a book in itself, as you all know.

You are the teacher

Teach what is important with love and compassion. Kindness is key, and as you know, not much escapes the eye of a child. We truly teach better through our actions than our words. Find time to share meals, support activities, cook together, play, explore, communicate, educate, hug and love together. Time goes by so very quickly and each stage of a young life brings shifting change, just as ours did growing up. Teaching the importance of consequences for every action = one powerful tool in a parents or guardians tool-kit. We all screwed up, some worse than others – reflect back on your own life for clarity, and enjoy a laugh or two. Be the light in your child’s life. Make sure they feel safe, appreciated and loved. What a great way to pay life’s lessons forward to future generations.

 

Original article: Teaching Through Actions Versus Words

©2022 Debra Oakland. All Rights Reserved.

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Don’t Be Afraid To Share A Piece Of Your Soul

A piece of your soul

We each have an ‘inner-standing’ about our personal soul on a very deep level. Our ‘understanding’ of the soul, at times, is quite different and can be lost in translation over the course of our lives. Sharing a piece of our soul with another can be daunting, yet exhilarating. We all live in an inner world of our own we share with no one. It’s meant to be this way…some things can’t be explained, and why would you want to? For example, I live a life in my mind that is mine and mine alone. My imagination can take me anywhere I wish to go and I can stay there as long as I like. Out of this space, I develop my creativity, live my dreams uninhibited, and find ways to manifest those dreams in the outer world. It’s my sacred space and a miraculous gift. The driving force in my life.

Our gifts to the world are as unique as we are

It is my belief that we are much more that what we have come to believe about ourselves. Levels and layers of the soul are intricate. The balancing act of life and its busy pace can take us away from ourselves. Sometimes for a moment, days, weeks, years, and for some – a lifetime. Balanced inner-standing sheds light on dark corners, bringing ah-ha moments of understanding that shake us awake to the core. A missed opportunity is floating through life without connecting to our inner creative juices. We are creator beings, here to bring our gifts to the world. Right now, the world needs our gifts. Our outer world is changing rapidly. A new world is evolving. Our souls are speaking to us and we would be wise to listen.

Ignore the narrative the outer world is pushing on you

What do you want the story of your life to be? At the end of your life, what do you want your life to have meant? In the big scheme of things, we aren’t here that long. What we do matters. How do you become the master of your destiny? Firstly, do not give your power away to the families of fear. Secondly, do what’s right, even when it’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done. Sadly, not everyone would agree. Thirdly, and most importantly, this world needs warriors of the heart. Those who are not afraid to share a piece of their soul and will step up to the plate when it’s most needed.

Original article: Don’t Be Afraid To Share A Piece Of Your Soul

©2022 Debra Oakland. All Rights Reserved.

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Making The Truth Disappear

Making the truth disappear is easy

People have done it since the beginning of time. From childhood we are inundated with endless advice and opinions from uncountable sources. When information comes at us in bits and pieces throughout our lives, we accept or discard what we learn. Finding our ‘norm’ or what fits into our perception of reality becomes our comfort level. There are people on planet earth that are very effective at making the truth disappear. How and why did “we the people” allow this to happen?

Critical thinking is essential to our survival. What will the outcome be? The past matters, because it teaches us how people accomplished the things they have, who they are, and their intentions – for good or for harm. What I love about this time in the world is that people are doing their own investigation…going deep, uncovering hidden truths. There is no illusion greater than fear. – Lao Tzu.

Keeping an open mind and tapping into the power of your inner guidance is powerful

Illusion is easy to create, so transport yourself into and past the illusion for a clear view. You may not like what you find – perhaps you will. Armed with information you will be able to move the barriers aside and decide how you choose to proceed. Our world is changing, and quickly. This next year is going to blow many peoples minds. The shift is now, ready or not – here it is.

We had to come to this point in history to take the necessary steps to live in a world where truth prevails. Will it be easy? No it will not. Throughout the history of this little planet there have been great shifts, creating peace and joy for some, and absolute hell for others. There are terrible things that go on in the outer world, We don’t want to think about, hear or see these things, as much of it is too painful to comprehend.

Where do you choose to align yourself?

The truth is going to come to light about things that will shock people to their very core. Some won’t be able to accept uncovered truths – others will rejoice. We are just another notch in the history books and how we conduct ourselves and treat others will determine how our history is perceived. I know it is the New Year 2022 and I could write a flowery article about how wonderful life is. That would be nice, but life is not wonderful for most people.

Our entire world is affected and rhythmically swaying in an attempt to make sense of what is true and what is not. What affects one affects the whole. This time in history will be one of the most pivotal ever recorded. I am happy to be here to witness everything with open eyes and open heart. We are just beginning a long arduous journey and if we come together instead of pulling apart, we will prevail.

Keep in mind, if the ‘truth’ is not what you perceived it to be, be patient, keep an open mind and do your homework. After all this is the school of life and this is your life. Live it courageously, with integrity and intention, which brings value to all life.

 

Original article: Making The Truth Disappear

©2021 Debra Oakland. All Rights Reserved.

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How To Create Amazing Joy That Lasts

Be the master of your destiny

Our greatest joy is in creating, so when you create a life of joy intentionally – you have created something that lasts. First matter at hand and most important is Conscious Choice. Every choice you make in each moment of the day molds and shapes your life.

Life is a stage, where your “reel” movie lives and breathes

As it plays out year after year, what and who do you desire on the stage of your life? As I wrote in my book Change Your Movie, Change Your Life, “It feels good to be the “conscious” writer, director, and producer of your own movie. The personal experience you gain by living through the trials and challenges in your life gives you a voice and a perspective you would not have had otherwise. It is wisdom. Unlike theory or book knowledge, wisdom can only be gained through experience.”

Think of yourself as a screenwriter/producer who receives a thought

At the moment of inception, we choose whether or not to acknowledge and accept the thought. This choice is made on the subconscious level and is usually the result of our personal programming. Our programming comes from our parents, peers, authority figures, environment and our own self- talk. It may be deeply ingrained from early childhood, but it is transformable.

Decision 1 – Once the choice is made to accept the thought, it is then perceived and evaluated.

Decision 2 – It is at this point the thought-form enters our consciousness, and we determine if the thought is logical and reasonable within the framework our programming has constructed.

Decision 3 – If we decide the thought-form fits the construct of our perceived reality, it becomes the basis for our convictions, resulting decisions, and corresponding actions.

From the initial thought, we have gone through at least three decision points to create our movie script for living a joy-full life. The script contains the blueprint for the film we will use and the actions we will take to create a particular scene or a series of scenes for our life movie. The script now becomes joy or something less than…all the way to choices that can lead (by direction) to unhappy outcomes. When people feel as if they have nothing to create, nothing to contribute, unhappiness begins to permeate the body, mind, and spirit.

It’s never to late to create amazing joy that lasts

All life is energy in motion. Thoughts, feelings, and intentions are energetic frequencies carrying us into the experiences of our life’s living motion picture. One of our greatest opportunities is learning to direct this energy toward living a life of joy. Cause and effect determine how things manifest outwardly in our lives and are a direct result of how we manage our energy. Cause is our focused thought or the recurring habits of our thinking, feeling, and actions, which create effects or outcomes in our lives. Being creative contributes to our happiness and vitality. Think about how you feel when you are directing your life to create a life filled with joy. It feels exhilarating. It’s never to late to re-write the script.

 

Original article: How To Create Amazing Joy That Lasts

©2021 Debra Oakland. All Rights Reserved.

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How To Create Amazing Rhythm In Your Life

Need a little nudge to create amazing rhythm in your life?

When I think of rhythm, I am reminded it’s very movement is all inclusive. Mother Nature, her seasons, all of creation repeat patterns endlessly. Think of your heartbeat, breathing, love of music, walking, dancing, sports, and on it goes. Childbirth is a natural rhythm. You were born and your circadian rhythms began.

How can we best live our lives with a sense of peace that satisfies body, mind & spirit?

Fear is the great pretender, used rhythmically to control our lives. I heard someone say recently, “Fear is the promotional piece to continue the narrative.” I think of all the things in life I was afraid of that never happened. The mind is a tricky trickster and our repetitive thoughts become habits that often take us to places we were not prepared to go. Life is moment by moment, giving us the power to choose. Is life running you or are you running your life? I want the very best for those I love and interact with, but I also want the best for this planet. We all have different ideas of what that ‘best’ is.

Creating positive rhythms is essential for happiness and well-being. Life is full of layers upon layers of things we know next to nothing of. Keep an open mind. Take the time to learn about the planet you live on. You will learn it functions with precision rhythm. I, for one, want to live to my own rhythm, thank you very much!

Do you ever see someone making a decision that you know will be harmful to them?

We do our best to help with our ‘inner-standing’ but ultimately we have to stand back and let go. People do learn by repeating patterns…at least that is the hope. The good news is – we can make conscious choices in each moment that will support our lives, rather than drag them down. Stepping away from those around you who continue to drag their own life down, will only enhance your life. This is where your life can enter the amazing zone. You create the balanced dance you choose to resonate to, not the one set by others who are not willing to support their own highest and greatest good. Everything has rhythm. Everything dances. – Maya Angelou

Sustaining anything requires rhythm!

The 7th Concept in my book Change Your Movie, Change Your Life: 7 Reel Concepts for Courageous Change is Rhythm. These 7 concepts are put together in such a way that, when they are combined and used consistently, they will enhance the quality of your life. Think of life as a sacred, rhythmic dance choreographed by you to create your personal symphony. One of the most important components in any great movie is the rhythm of the music, which dramatically enhances the story line. This is where an ordinary movie becomes extraordinary!

 

Original article: How To Create Amazing Rhythm In Your Life

©2021 Debra Oakland. All Rights Reserved.

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Creativity is YOU – The Core Of Your Being

Creativity comes in as many forms as we do

We are creative beings, it’s part of our inner core. When we are not creating, it feels as if our life force is draining away. Writing, art, music, sculpture, gardening, photography, fashion, cooking, theater, acting,  movie-making, living the movie of our life, and a million other forms of creativity sparks our soul into action. As we individually express ourselves creatively, we feel a sense of soul satisfaction. Coming together to create with others can challenge us, bringing us to new heights of accomplishment.

As children we create by playing and using our imagination

Think about how we used crayons to color, and pencils to draw and write. Enthusiasm was front and center as we looked out at the world with wonder. Possibility everywhere – ripe for the fertile mind. We grow up re-inventing the old, as very little in the world is truly new. Our toolbox of creative expression – beginning with playing as a child, takes us forward throughout life. Critical judgement is something best left behind, as your inner voice can tell you, “What you are creating is not good enough” or monkey mind saying, “You’re not good enough.” Fear of creating can be devastating IF we listen to the voice in our head, or those outside ourselves that do not serve us. Creativity is our birthright – the core of our being, and a divine gift.

Studies can be surprising

A study from NASA. Scientists tested 1,600 children between the ages of 4 and 5. What they found shocked them and it delighted me. This is a test that looks at the ability to come up with new, different and innovative ideas to problems. What percentage of those children do you think fell into the genius category of imagination? Click the NASA link above to find out. Another study shows that creative activity slows the aging process. Not surprising is it? As a rule, creative people are more open minded, less influenced by the analytical mind. Linear is so sensible! I read an article in the The Creativity Workshop that stated, “It turns out that the parts of the brain that we use in ‘business as usual’ thinking are totally switched off when we are being creative, whereas other parts of our mind that we do not use everyday are quite active.”

Creativity conclusion

You get where this is going, right? Creativity is critical to the well-being of our body, mind and spirit, all part of the core of who we are. One creative idea can trigger another and another…isn’t that delightful!

Original article: Creativity is YOU – The Core Of Your Being

©2021 Debra Oakland. All Rights Reserved.

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