Doug Ward's Blog, page 96

Ward's Laws #1714

Why aren't there any vegetarian sharks?  I'd start swimming in the ocean again.

Ward's Laws #1708

In the TV show Lassie, six generations of the same collie played the title role.  I wonder how many Timmy's it took?  Man, was that kid clumsy, but on the other hand why were there so many abandoned wells and dangerous cliffs on that farm?

Ward's Laws #1707

Is anyone else creeped out buy the way Mrs. Butterworth glides around like a specter?  Ok, need we add in the fact that we were consuming the contents of a living bottle.

Ward's Laws #1705

I had end my career as a 007 spy.  I could never remember that my toothpaste was a laser gun, so in a word, my gums are ruined.

Ward's Laws #1703

Freakin' Popeye kept staring at me.  I think it was the spinach stuck between my teeth, but it's just creepy.

Ward's Laws #1701

My doctor told me to add more fiber to my diet so I started eating fruit roll-ups. It hasn't made that much of a difference yet, but at least I'm taking his advice for once.

Ward's Laws #1699

What ever happened to Mr. Butterworth?

Ward's Laws #1696

I love watching old James Bond movies...  I love how silly his gadgets are.  Look, he's using a Walkman!!!

Ward's Laws #1695

I dyed my back-hair green and painted a diamond on it.  It was to commemorate the start of the baseball season.  Later, I took a nap on my stomach, only to be awakened by a little league game in progress on my back.   Man, those cleats really dig in.  #Ineedtolosesomeweight

Ward's Laws #1692

Ward's Laws science division has successfully crossed a tiger and a giraffe.  On a side note, you will need to stay a good 10 feet back from the cage.