Doug Ward's Blog, page 2

Ward's Words #1156

I just found out that my tax collector doesn’t accept Groupons.  

Ward's Words #1153

I have to admit that I am a distracted driver.  Whenever I pass holiday displays I become very distracted.  In order to combat this, I close my eyes.  That blocks the offending images and lets me get past them without any problem.

Ward's Words #1152

I really feel for the brave workers who build IKEA stores.  The building all come in flat, well-packed boxes, with those little wrenches.  The directions alone, since they contain no words, probably drive most construction workers out of their minds.

Ward's Words #1150

You’d think impatiens would grow faster. 

Ward's Words #1148

Betty Crocker wasn’t a real person.

Ward's Words #1145

It’s official. The salmonella lettuce scare is natures way of warning us of the dangers of vegetables.

Ward's Words #1143

We, here at Word’s Words, are developing what we like to call the After the Holidays patch. Like nicotine patches with these holiday patches, you will be able to gently taper off of the constant flow of sugar our bodies have become accustomed to during the holiday season.

Ward's Words #1141

Isn’t it odd that the Flintstones could figure out how to make a car but the concept of shoes completely eluded them?

Ward's Words #1139

My dog is a narcissist. 

Ward's Words #1138

I never get any sleep at rest areas.