Doug Ward's Blog, page 110
September 5, 2013
Ward's Laws #1426
My boss questioned a couple of articles in my classroom budget. I guess the harpoon gun was a little excessive but I really do need the night vision goggles.
September 4, 2013
Ward's Laws #1424
I'm on the cusp of inventing the first Tupperware submarine. Just burp the edge and it's ready to go underwater. If only I could keep my crew alive for more than five minutes. That reminds me, I need volunteers for my next test...
September 3, 2013
Ward's Laws #1422
Next family reunion I getting one of those things Peyton Manning wears on his arm to keep track of plays. That way I can be remember the name of my Uncle Bill... Aunt Sally,... Timmy my narcissistic cousin...
August 29, 2013
Ward's Laws #1418
I think my secret agent programming was botched. Every time someone says my trigger word, I go all Jason Bourne on a bunch of doughnuts.
August 28, 2013
Ward's Laws #1415
I think Canada's about to attack the United States. At this point our northerly neighbors have sufficiently lulled America into a false sense of security. I think it's time we deploy a branch of our military to counter their plans. I'm thinking the Salvation Army should be enough to quell the tide of the Maple Menace.
August 25, 2013
Ward's Laws #1413
Does it count if I make a wish on the first satellite I see tonight?
August 24, 2013
Interview at Author Quiz
I'm so excited!!! I was interviewed by Charles at Author Quiz about my zombie book series. Please take a minute and check it out.
http://authorquiz.blogspot.com/2013/08/doug-ward-author-of-parasite-true-story.html
http://authorquiz.blogspot.com/2013/08/doug-ward-author-of-parasite-true-story.html
August 22, 2013
Ward's Laws #1410
I just listed the lunar rover that was abandoned on the moon on eBay. It's just sitting there like no one wants it and as a taxpayer I do own a part of it. At least I was smart enough to list it as pick-up only.
August 20, 2013
Ward's Laws #1409
I'm thinking about breaking out my fake ID so I can get some of those great Senior Citizen discounts.
August 19, 2013
Ward's Laws #1407
We need to start a campaign to force Microsoft to bring back Clippy. The whimsical avatar that guided me through every word document back in the 90's deserves a reboot!
