Doug Ward's Blog, page 113
July 18, 2013
Ward's Laws #1361
Why do nutritionists relate nutrition to a pyramid then tell us to eat three square meals?
July 17, 2013
Ward's Laws #1360
This is just a hypothetical question mind you. Say my mom gets bit by a zombie and I chain her in the basement. Is it wrong to feed her my neighbors to preserve her undead state? If I didn't keep her around who'd bake me cookies? Sure I have to pick out the occasional fingertip but... Er... Would have to I mean. As if anything that far fetched would ever happen.
July 16, 2013
Ward's Laws #1358
There was a woman sitting near me in a local restaurant who was coughing uncontrollably. Was it wrong of me to assess all nearby objects as to their effectiveness at bashing her in the head in the eventuality she turns into one of the denizen of the undead.
I'm in my college alumni magazine
That's right, The Rock magazine gave me and my books a mention on page 9. Those guys at Slippery Rock University are great!
http://issuu.com/www.sru.edu/docs/rock_mag_spring_2013?e=1984265/3982968
http://issuu.com/www.sru.edu/docs/rock_mag_spring_2013?e=1984265/3982968
July 14, 2013
Ward's Laws #1356
Why do people age meat? Doesn't it kind of rot a little as it ages? You never see those same people picking up a week old roadkill. I agree with Gollum as he says, " Give it to us raw and w-r-r-riggling; you keep nasty chips."
July 10, 2013
Ward's Laws #1353
Is anyone else a little creeped out by Captain America? I mean a blond haired, blue-eyed, super soldier. Where have I heard that before?
July 9, 2013
Ward's Laws #1350
You know you're not real important when the person you're at a baseball game with catches a foul ball and immediately texts someone else.
July 7, 2013
Ward's Laws #1348
NASCAR announcer has to be one of the lowest rungs on sports announcing ladder. Just right there above golf and below figure skating. You have to be hoping; "any day now and they'll call me up to the big leagues."
July 2, 2013
Ward's Laws #1340
Suntans are not only a cancer risk but they're also a dead giveaway that you're not part of the undead hoard. Another apocalypse safety tip brought to you by the fine people at Ward's Laws.
