Doug Ward's Blog, page 109

Ward's Laws #1450

I don't want to say I'm old, but Lincoln logs weren't invented till I was grown up. The only toys I had in my day were James Buchanan sticks.  There were 34 of them in the pack but oddly seven of them wouldn't stick to the rest.

Ward's Laws #1448

Did anyone ever notice what kind of hat Captain Crunch wears?  He's a freak'en pirate!!!  What kind of role model is he for little kids?  Next thing you know Disney will start making movies with a silly pirate in them and...  Oh crap!  What has the world come to?

Ward's Laws #1446

If I get bit by a zombie I'm gonna put on a helmet. Take that doomsday preppers.

Ward's Laws #1443

I'm not afraid of zombies...  I'm from Pittsburgh. We survived the 1968 Romero apocalypse and won the World Series three years later.

Ward's Laws #1439

As newspapers disappear, a casualty to the digital age, what are people going to line their birdcages with?  Kindles?

Ward's Laws #1438

Is there some cosmic rule that states, "every time I want to sit on my deck my neighbor decides to cut his grass?"

Ward's Laws #1434

If Insync sang poorly wound they be Outofsync?

Ward's Laws #1432

Did you ever notice when people dress up in a Star Trek uniform they always choose the classic version. Think of that the next time you argue which series was best.

Ward's Laws #1430

Did you ever notice when people dress up in a Star Trek uniform they always choose the classic version. That's because the others are just lesser versions.

Ward's Laws #1427

I got kicked out of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry because I couldn't memorize any spells. Hey, I was lucky I could remember my locker combination.