Doug Ward's Blog, page 107
October 28, 2013
Ward's Laws #1494
The crack staff at Ward's Laws has uncovered the truth behind why our kids can't spell anymore (and no, it's not texting!) Alpha bits cereal has been discontinued. That's right, children can no longer consume the alphabet on a regular basis. We need to act now while we can still hear the Jackson 5 singing those commercials...
October 27, 2013
Ward's Laws #1492
The human race is pretty much doomed. Our ever-growing masses are straining our dwindling resources to the point of self-extinction. There's no hope. We're all looking a dystopian future square in the face. Hope has vanished and... Ewwwww. A new Walmart. I need one of those Made-For-TV hoses. What was I saying?
October 26, 2013
World Domination to begin October 29th
Only 3 more days and I will begin my World Domination. It'll be posted both here and on my Facebook pages at https://www.facebook.com/doug.ward.754 Be afraid... Be very afraid...
Ward's Laws #1490
When people die what would possess them to come back and try to communicate with their loved ones in ghost form? You're not being reassuring your being frightening. Just keep your poltergeist ass in the next dimension where it belongs!
October 23, 2013
Ward's Laws #1487
I just set my phones passcode, so now my info is safe. Luckily I was able to use the same combination as my luggage. Can anyone say Fort Knox?
October 22, 2013
Ward's Laws #1486
I always hated the cereal fun packs. You know, those six-packs of tiny cereal boxes. There was always one flavor that tasted like crap. In other words, it ruined any fun.
October 21, 2013
Ward's Laws #1485
If you ever conversed with a demon using a Ouija board did you ever wonder who taught the denizen of the underworld how to spell? In English, mind you.
October 17, 2013
Ward's Laws #1483
Superman isn't too bright. He always gets trapped with kryptonite. It's his only weakness. That's all he has to worry about, noticing the trap and looking for the kryptonite. "Oh, something is shielded from my X-ray Vision. It must be lead lined? Nahhh... nobody would put kryptonite in there..." He's an idiot!
October 16, 2013
Ward's Laws #1480
Sony thinks they're really innovative with their Smart Watch. I had one back in the 80's called a Casio that had a calculator built in. Sure, all I could do with it was type in a series of numbers that when turned upside down spelled boobies, but I still think it was smarter than me. Eat that Sony!!!
October 15, 2013
Ward's Laws #1479
I think Google Earth is a parallel world to ours. It's a place where there's a duplicate of everything we have here. I wonder if it's a backwards world, or if they speak our language. Look. I can see my house from here.
