Doug Ward's Blog, page 105

Ward's Laws #1543

If you're looking for a nice boys name try Doug.  Serial Killers are never named Doug, but on the other hand very few famous people have the first name Doug. 

Ward's Laws #1539

Apparently, A copy machine only makes useless two-dimensional paper copies of things.  So much for my evil 8.5" X 11" army taking over the world.

Ward's Laws #1534

The toilet paper at work needs tripled up just to be considered single ply.

Ward's Laws #1532

The scientific community needs to climb out of their dusty old tombs and let Ward's Laws set them straight.  Dinosaurs didn't have feathers and didn't even go extinct.  They can be seen on Nickelodeon every day in a multitude of colors.  So, put down your cute little diggy things and tune into Barney and Friends you silly eggheads!!!

Ward's Laws #1529

Our microwave at work is really old, I think it was one of the first production models.  It's called an Einstein 1000 cold fusion microwave oven and you're supposed to go behind the lead plating prior to exposing the control rods.  I think it's more a guideline than a warning but it's kind of unusual that none of the staff has children.

Ward's Laws #1528

Did anyone else notice that stationary is the only form of paper that regularly travels?

Ward's Laws #1525

I think the term cowboy is a bit confusing... a cow is a girl and a boy is...er... I think you get my point.

Ward's Laws #1524

Where is Point A and Point B, and why do so many people just want to get to them?

Ward's Laws #1522

Ward's Laws #1522 I think the inventor of the umbrella was either crazy or quite the practical joker. Holding a metal rod in a lightning storm is such a good idea...

Ward's Laws #1520

My car got stuck in the snow the other day so I used the old kitty litter trick for traction.  I guess I shouldn't have used the litter box, because it was kind of full poop so to make a long story short, I'm still stuck.