Boundaries Quotes

“Some people give in to others because they feel that that will “win” love and end their loneliness.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“People who say yes and then resent saying yes fear losing someone’s love.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“we love and respect people who tell us no, they will love and respect our no. Freedom begets freedom. If we are walking in the Spirit, we give people the freedom to make their own choices.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“We need to respect the boundaries of others. We need to love the boundaries of others in order to command respect for our own. We need to treat their boundaries the way we want them to treat ours.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“We fear that others will not respect our boundaries. We focus on others and lose clarity about ourselves. Sometimes the problem is that we judge others’ boundaries.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“A strong strand throughout the Bible stresses that you are to give to needs and put limits on sin. Boundaries help you do just that.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Anytime you are not loving others, you are not taking full responsibility for yourself; you have disowned your heart.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Codependent people bring insults and pain on themselves when they confront irresponsible people.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Today we call a person who continually rescues another person a codependent.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“no one can really escape the disciplines of life. They will always win out. We always reap what we sow. And the later in life it is, the sadder a picture it is, for the stakes are higher.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Overcontrolled children are subject to dependency, enmeshment conflicts, and difficulty setting and keeping firm boundaries. They also have problems taking risks and being creative.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Discipline is the art of teaching children self-control by using consequences. Irresponsible actions should cause discomfort that motivates us to become more responsible.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Not only good relationships but also mature characters are built on appropriate nos. Developing children need to know their boundaries will be honored. It is crucial that their disagreements, their practicing, their experimentation not result in a withdrawal of love.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“The ability to use anger to distinguish between self and others is a boundary. Children who can appropriately express anger are children who will understand, later in life, when someone is trying to control or hurt them.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting. (Ps. 139:23–24)”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Functional boundaries refers to a person’s ability to complete a task, project, or job. It has to do with performance, discipline, initiative, and planning. Relational boundaries refers to the ability to speak truth to others with whom we are in relationship.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“The Avoidant: Sets boundaries against receiving care of others”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“The Nonresponsive: Sets boundaries against responsibility to love”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“The Controller: Aggressively or manipulatively violates boundaries of others”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“The Compliant: Feels guilty and/or controlled by others; can’t set boundaries”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“controllers are isolated. People stay with them out of fear, guilt, or dependency.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Controllers also are limited in their ability to take responsibility for owning their lives. Having relied on bullying or indirectness, they can’t function on their own in the world. The only remedy is to let controllers experience the consequences of their irresponsibility.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Caring for someone so that they’ll care back for us is simply an indirect means of controlling someone else.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Aggressive controllers. These people clearly don’t listen to others’ boundaries. They run over other people’s fences like a tank. They are sometimes verbally abusive, sometimes physically abusive. But most of the time they simply aren’t aware that others even have boundaries.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Manipulative controllers. Less honest than the aggressive controllers, manipulators try to persuade people out of their boundaries.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Manipulators deny their desires to control others; they brush aside their own self-centeredness. They are like the adulterous woman in Proverbs: “She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong’” (30:20).”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Compliant avoidants suffer from what is called “reversed boundaries.” They have no boundaries where they need them, and they have boundaries where they shouldn’t have them.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Compliants take on too many responsibilities and set too few boundaries, not by choice, but because they are afraid.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“God wants us to be compliant from the inside out (compassionate), not compliant on the outside and resentful on the inside (sacrificial).”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Blocking a child’s ability to say no handicaps that child for life.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life