Boundaries Quotes

“El problema de la envidia es que dirige nuestra mirada a los demás, fuera de nuestros límites. Si nos concentramos en lo que otros tienen o han logrado, estamos descuidando nuestras responsabilidades y acabaremos con un corazón vacío.”
― Henry Cloud, Límites

“People who have never questioned their attitudes and beliefs can fall prey to the dynamics that Jesus referred to when he described people holding on to the "traditions of men," instead of the commands of God.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“By the time they are ready to leave home, our children should have internalized a deep sense of personal responsibility for their lives. They should hold these convictions: •​My success or failure in life largely depends on me. •​Though I am to look to God and others for comfort and instruction, I alone am responsible for my choices. •​Though I am deeply affected by my significant relationships throughout my life, I can’t blame my problems on anyone but myself. •​Though I will always fail and need support, I can’t depend on some overresponsible individual to constantly bail me out of spiritual, emotional, financial, or relational crises.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Lo mismo es cierto para los solteros mayores. Sus amigos, pastores y comunidad deben apoyarlos mientras salen en estas citas. Esto les brinda un lugar para crecer hasta que estén listos para el matrimonio.”
― Henry Cloud, LÍMITES en el noviazgo: Cuando decir sí y cuando decir no: Tome control de su vida: Cuándo decir sí. cuándo decir NO. tome el control de su vida

“Conocer a alguien, pasar tiempo y compartir cosas con él o ella es «intimidad». Conocer a otra persona profundamente es amor.”
― Henry Cloud, LÍMITES en el noviazgo: Cuando decir sí y cuando decir no: Tome control de su vida: Cuándo decir sí. cuándo decir NO. tome el control de su vida

“The important thing is that property lines be permeable enough to allow passing and strong enough to keep out danger.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“A veces, tenemos lo malo por dentro y lo bueno por fuera. En tales circunstancias, necesitamos ser capaces de abrir nuestros límites para permitir la entrada de lo bueno y la salida de lo malo. En otras palabras, las cercas necesitan puertas. Por ejemplo, si encuentro que tengo alguna pena o pecado dentro de mí, necesito confiárselo a Dios y a los demás para ser sanado. Confesar nuestras penas y nuestros pecados nos ayuda a «echarlos afuera» para que dejen de envenenar nuestro interior (1 Juan 1:9; Santiago 5:16; Marcos 7:21-23).”
― Henry Cloud, Límites

“They think, Mommy and me are the same. It’s sometimes called symbiosis, a sort of “swimming in closeness” with Mother. This symbiotic union is the reason babies panic when Mother isn’t around. No one can comfort them but their mother.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Because when we lack relationship, we have nowhere to go in a conflict. When we are not secure that we are loved, we are forced to choose between two bad options: 1. We set limits and risk losing a relationship. This was Wendy’s fear. She was afraid her mother would reject her and she would be isolated and alone. She still needed Mom’s connection to feel secure. 2. We don’t set limits and remain a prisoner to the wishes of another. By not setting limits on her mom, Wendy was a prisoner to her mom’s wishes.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Those who are so absorbed in their own desires and needs they exclude others (a form of narcissism).”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Controllers are undisciplined people. They have little ability to curb their impulses or desires. While it appears that they “get what they want in life,” they are still slaves to their appetites.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“they tend to project responsibility for their lives onto others. They use various means of control to motivate others to carry the load intended by God to be theirs alone.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“To Steve, “no” is simply a challenge to change the other person’s mind. This boundary problem is called control. Controllers can’t respect others’ limits. They resist taking responsibility for their own lives, so they need to control others.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Avoidants withdraw when they are in need; they do not ask for the support of others.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“This fear of disobeying the harsh conscience translates into an inability to confront others—a saying yes to the bad—because it would cause more guilt.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Fear of someone else’s anger”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Not only does it keep us from refusing evil in our lives, it often keeps us from recognizing evil. Many compliant people realize too late that they’re in a dangerous or abusive relationship.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“But taking care of what lies within our boundaries isn’t easy; neither is allowing other people to take care of what lies within their boundaries. Setting boundaries and maintaining them is hard work. But as you’ll see in the next chapter, boundary problems take some very recognizable shapes.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Many people do not take ownership for how they resist love. They have a lot of love around them but do not realize that their loneliness is a result of their own lack of responsiveness.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“We can’t define who the real “me” is and what we truly desire. Many desires masquerade as the real thing. They are lusts that come out of not owning our real desires. For example, many sex addicts are looking for sexual experiences, but what they really desire is love and affection.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“This leads to frustration. Even Paul says, “For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them?” (1 Cor. 2:11).”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“We rarely see people as they really are; our perceptions are distorted by past relationships and our own preconceptions of who we think they are, even the people we know best. We do not see clearly because of the “logs” in our eyes (Matt. 7:3–5 NLT).”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Not confronting our fear denies the grace of God and insults both his giving of the gift and his grace to sustain us as we are learning.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“setting our own internal limits.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Attitudes have to do with your orientation toward something, the stance you take toward others, God, life, work, and relationships. Beliefs are anything that you accept as true. Often we do not see an attitude, or belief, as the source of discomfort in our life. We blame other people as did our first parents, Adam and Eve. We need to own our attitudes and convictions because they fall within our property line.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“creating boundaries always involves a support network.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Many people have been taught by their church or their family that boundaries are unbiblical, mean, or selfish. These people need good biblical support systems to help them stand against the guilt that comes from the old “tapes” inside that tell them lies to keep them in bondage. They need supportive others to stand against the old messages and the guilt involved in change.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“The other reason we need others is because we need new input and teaching.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“The church of Christ is there to give strength to ward off the blows against”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life