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The Ballad of Sma...
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Splintered Loyalty
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Eversion
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See all 8 books that Debrac2014 is reading…
Book cover for Semi-Charmed (Harper Hall Investigations, #1)
Harper’s Uncle Mickey, who looked eerily like Marlon Brando in The Godfather, sat at the head of the table, and his two daughters, Teresa, the three-hundred pound nutritionist, and Selena, the chain-smoking respiratory therapist, sat on ...more
Debrac2014
Harper's family dinner was a hoot!
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Wen Spencer
“We thought we should list all legendary animals," Nigel explained – apparently without
realizing it – why they had visa problems. "Can't hurt to ask. Dragons are real, right?"
"Elves say they are." Jane desperately wanted a scotch but if she had one, Hal couldn't resist
needing one, and she didn't want go back down that road. "This list is suicidal if you're not
willing to defend yourself. This isn't Earth, where you can sit in your Jeep and take picture of
lions, or go sit in the middle of a bunch of apes. Most of these things will peel open an SUV like
it’s a can of sardines and make a snack of everything inside."
"It would be amusing to watch but it would end badly for you," Hal murmured. It was hard to
tell if he was making a play on his previous statement or if he didn't realize he was repeating
himself.
"The list is a starting point." Nigel leaned forward, face lighting up with inner fire. "To get us
in the door. What we want is all of Elfhome. To revel in all that it has to offer. The virgin iron
wood forest. The beautiful immortal elves. The strange and magical beasts. And the humans that
live peacefully side by side with all this."
Jane shook her head, trying to resist the power of a TV host beaming at her one-on-one.
"Don't snow job me."
"I've seen this kind of shit before," Taggart said with quiet intensity. "When a country goes
dark, its means someone has something it's trying to hide. And often what they're hiding is
horrible war crimes like mass graves and attempted genocide. Someone is keeping the media out
of Pittsburgh.”
Wen Spencer, Project Elfhome

Ruby Dixon
“You ever see Star Wars? The original ones?” “Don’t tell me—” “Yep. It looks like we landed on fucking Hoth. Except I see two itty bitty suns and a huge-ass moon.” “Not Hoth,” Liz yells. “It was the sixth planet from its sun, and I don’t recall it having a moon.” “Okay, nerd,”
Ruby Dixon, Ice Planet Barbarians

Honor Raconteur
“Chinny. My brother. Let’s clear up two points right now. First? If my wife decides that she wants to do something, I will let her do it. Why? Because I want to live. Because she will cut me down in the prime of my youth if I dare to suggest that I have control over her, and I’m not that stupid. I mean, I have stupid moments, but that? Ordering her to not do something? Grade A stupid.”
Honor Raconteur, Remnants

Wen Spencer
“It was like having two children in the car with her. Okay, one child and a young adult that
kept backsliding. Hal, of course, was attempting to prove he was really only eight years old.
Taggart could resist the taunting part of the time. Nigel was the senile grandmother who never
noticed that the children were fighting. He sat in the backseat, smiling serenely at the passing
landscape. What made things worse was that Taggart called shotgun so he could film through the
front window. That made it so she couldn't reach Hal to swat him into silence. She found herself
tempted to hit Taggart just because he was beside her. And because he'd changed into a dark blue
silk shirt and cologne that smelled so good she just wanted to roll in it.
"I can kill us all," Jane growled, gripping the wheel tightly, and resisted the urge to drive the
production truck into the ditch to prove her point.
Somehow they reached downtown without her killing anyone.”
Wen Spencer, Pittsburgh Backyard and Garden

Wm. Mark Simmons
“And do you know what that goal is?"
I went for the most obvious choice: "Creating microburst hypnotropic flash-spam on a global scale?"
"Immortality, Mr. Cséjthe!" he exclaimed.
Oh, too bad . . .
Tell me that you've invented the next big marketing technology of the twenty-first century and you've got my attention. But "Immortality"? Why not throw "World Domination" in and cackle like a demented madman?
Demented madman—now there was a nice redundancy . . .”
Wm. Mark Simmons, Habeas Corpses
tags: humor

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