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General Fuckery
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jonathan, i need your help! (Everyone's Captions), Not Visiting Belgium
message 951:
by
Janice
(new)
Aug 26, 2011 09:11PM
Rufus looked longingly at the passersby, hoping against hope that one of them would come and get his boots polished just so the kid would stop with the tin whistle.
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Rufus was proud of his newly done nails, despite the crudity of the manicurist who kept taking breaks to play a tune. Yes, OPI's "Pawsitively Pitch Black" was just the right shade to best complement his fur.
After a few lessons, the kid stepped up to a new instrument and a suitable costume.
Hendrick ter Brugghen
Despite the beatings, Niall vowed to continue playing his pipes until all of his sheep were returned to him.
Faisal liked to joke with his friends that he could last longer with a full bladder than they could.
Faisal also knew his right shoulder was his must seductive. Combined with the pipes he was irresistible.
The plumber had promised he'd be over to check the shower drain on Thursday. By Sunday, Antonio had just about given up on the man.
Antonio was also curious as to why the internet suggested "snaking the drain," as it was obviously not working.
Amber wrote: "Antonio was also curious as to why the internet suggested "snaking the drain," as it was obviously not working."HA! :)
While the snakes were ineffective, other animals proved more useful. The piano stayed dry as a bone.[image error]
Nick Brisbane
#1095 Flipper finally proved to Ork Ork that he was the strongest seal in the circus. Unfortunately, putting Madame Toussaint's piano back to ground safely proved more difficult.
With the piano returned to its usual spot by the wall, Madame Toussaint celebrated by playing a set of Scott Joplin rags, much to the amusement of little Bertie, her pet crocodile.
Pablo Picasso
Sorry, edited now to indicate the artist. It's a late work by Picasso (from a period when he was looking at and reacting to Matisse).
#1097 Madame Toussaint never let anything interfere with her love of music. Neither the tragic loss of her face nor the strange penis-finger affliction of her left hand could keep her from playing her funhouse piano.
Madame wanted to be sure her playing was up to snuff before her relatives stopped by for their annual visit.
Giorgio de Chirico
Stanmore, having been employed at Ford for over 20 years, tried desperately to convince young Faldeed not to go into the family business. Crash Test Dummy sounds nice to the young ones, but there are better ways to make a living.
Phil wrote: "Stanmore, having been employed at Ford for over 20 years, tried desperately to convince young Faldeed not to go into the family business. Crash Test Dummy sounds nice to the young ones, but there ..."Ha!
Phil wrote: "Crash Test Dummy sounds nice to the young ones, but there are better ways to make a living..."
Matthew Barney
Strantius was sure he'd make a killing at the audition later that evening. Unfortunately, he failed to recognize the significance of the plastic covering the seats in the limousine, a car (unbeknownst to him) hired by his chief rival for the recording contract.
Phil wrote: "Strantius was sure he'd make a killing at the audition later that evening..."The audition turned out okay. He went to a party afterward, and it was pretty mellow.

Aubrey Beardsley
Being a bit of a fashionista herself, Andrea was fascinated by Kevin's fruit hat, woolly mammoth skin pants and Alexander McQueen hoof shoes.
1111 Jim was quite pleased that Valerie still liked him despite his deformities. In point of fact, he had no idea what was lurking under her dress.
(#1114) " For the love of God, mother, quit buying the bargain brand conditioner. My hair is drying out!"
Having grown her hair out during the 14 months leading to the election, Ms. Maddow was happy to fulfill the vow she made to cut it all off when President Obama won a second term in office.
#1117 Frida liked her new haircut, but she wished she hadn't bought her suit at David Byrne's yard sale.
Sarah Pi wrote: "#1117 Frida liked her new haircut, but she wished she hadn't bought her suit at David Byrne's yard sale."A closely matched ensemble, but not really a suit at all--the trousers were Diego's and the coat belonged to this guy, who looks like he wants it back:
[image error]
Thomas Hart Benton
#1121 Benito thought his new workout regimen was really doing wonders for his physique. He would recommend skull hurling to anyone.
In trying to take Irkutsk (attacking from Kamchatka), Ramsuh rolled four attacking skulls. Unfortunately, Shigo rolled three defending skulls and held the territory. Local legend tells of the calamity that happened next.
1124George had been so anxious to enlist, but he found the military to be a rather colorless affair.
Hee. "NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.”






